Escaping Christmas (Contemporary Romance)

by Charlotte Ashwood

“Wow. I hate to speak badly of the dead and all that, but the man really was a bastard.”

  Angie laughed weakly. “You can say that again.”

  “So you’re going to close yourself up to everyone because of that character?”

  Angie couldn’t believe her ears. Where was that coming from? “Excuse me?”

  “Angie, you have so much to give, and you are alive. You married a crappy man but your world didn’t end. We’ve been together practically every day since we met but you haven’t really been with me. You’re holding back.”

  She jumped off his lap, suddenly agitated. Hadn’t he heard a word she’d said? “Alex, you don’t understand. I was with Michael for over a year before we got married. If I got it so wrong then, how do I know I won’t make the same mistake again?”

  Alex stood up, suddenly angry with her. “You are selling yourself short, babe.”

  “I have no guarantee I won’t meet another asshole.”

  He stiffened. “I am not an asshole!”

  Angie jumped at the vehemence in his voice. “We’re not talking about you.”

  “Are we not?”

  She sighed and looked away from the challenge in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Alex. I got it so wrong with Michael, and I’m not willing to take the chance that I could get it that wrong again.”

  Alex stared at her, saying nothing, a muscle in his jaw ticking. Just when she thought she couldn’t take the tension anymore, he spoke. “So you’re not going to give us a chance?”

  “What chance? I leave in two days!”

  “And if I asked you to stay?”

  Angie felt the shock of his words. It wasn’t like she hadn’t thought vaguely about staying, but it just hadn’t seemed like an option. She felt her heart flutter but ignored it. Michael’s betrayal had devastated her, but Alex was different. No, if Alex did the same to her, she knew with bone-deep certainty that she would not survive it. So she drew herself up and looked him in the eye. “I can’t stay.”

  He glanced up and let out the breath he’d been holding. She almost flinched when she saw the pain in his eyes.

  “Do you want to know why I live in an apartment and not a house?” he asked. “The home I grew up in was full of love and laughter. When my parents died, we were taken to this palatial house that was filled with people and yet was as empty as a tomb. There was no laughter and certainly no love. My grandfather was cold and hard. We were lonely until Hussein came along and did his best to create a family for us. I promised myself that I would never move into a house until I knew that house would be filled with love. I have houses, but I’ve never lived in one. I wanted to live in a house with you, Angie.”

  Angie’s face was wet. She hadn’t even realized she was crying. “I’m sorry, Alex,” she said brokenly.

  Alex stood there staring at her. Somewhere in the recesses of his mind, he could feel his heart splintering, or he would have if he weren’t so damned numb at that moment.

  “I never had a chance, did I?”

  “Alex…”

  “Damn.” He swore softly then laughed at the irony. He stared at his bare feet and shook his head absently. “I had to go and fall in love with a woman who won’t love me back.”

  He looked up and felt his chest tighten when he caught the stricken look on her face. He wanted to yell at her that she couldn’t do this to them. He thought about weeping and begging her to reconsider. But in the end he walked to her and planted a fierce kiss on her startled lips. Whether she chose to acknowledge it or not, they belonged together. She was part of him just as he was part of her, and running away was not going to change anything. He kissed her with everything he had in his soul, letting her know just how he felt. She closed her eyes and surrendered to the kiss, holding on to him like she would never let go. But he knew better. She had already let him go.

  He tore his mouth away from hers and stepped back. They were both silent. Only the sound of their heavy breathing filled the room. He lifted his hands to her hair then in a tender caress.

  “Take care of yourself, sweetheart.”

  And he walked out of her apartment in nothing but his silk boxers. He wasn’t even wearing any shoes. He found his key under the mat and opened his apartment door. Who cared if he was standing half-naked in the hallway? His heart had just been ripped out of his chest and was bleeding on the floor in the apartment next door.

  Chapter Eight

  Angie locked the door to the apartment and lifted a heavy bag onto her shoulders. She pulled out the handle on her luggage, prepared to roll it. She paused and stared at Alex’s door, thought of knocking on it, but knew it was a waste of time. He had left the apartment the day before and hadn’t returned. She knew because between bouts of weeping, she had been listening for him. She felt her chest tighten as her throat constricted. She couldn’t believe he wasn’t even going to say goodbye. Her eyes burned with unshed tears at the thought of not seeing him again. She couldn’t honestly blame him; they had said all they’d needed to say in her apartment. But, God, she missed him.

  She turned and walked to the elevator, dragging her suitcase behind her. At the lobby she nodded to the concierge and mumbled her thanks when the porter came to relieve her of her luggage. Her flight was not till 9:00 p.m. and check-in time was an hour before that, but she’d decided to leave early. It was just two o’clock, so she would have a long wait at the airport. The taxi that would take her to Kuala Lumpur International Airport was already waiting out in front of the apartment building.

  Stepping out into the heat of the Malaysian sun, Angie noticed a shiny black limousine sitting right in front of the entrance. She was about to walk around it when the door opened and none other than Hussein stepped out. He looked striking in a pair of designer jeans and a blinding white dress shirt, but Angie barely noticed. She was too stunned at the sight of him. For one heart-stopping moment, she had thought it was Alex. The disappointment was so sharp it was almost tangible. She just stood there staring at him as he walked toward her.

  “Hi, Angie.”

  “Hi.” She shaded her eyes from the sunlight and stared up at him, but his sunglasses made it impossible to read his expression.

  “You’re leaving.” He nodded toward where the porter was standing with her luggage.

  “Yes.”

  “I guess you finally got tired of him.”

  Angie felt white-hot rage flow through her, but just as quickly as it came, it subsided. Her shoulders slumped in defeat. What was the point? She was leaving, wasn’t she? She dropped her gaze from his and stared at her taxi instead.

  “Thanks for coming to say goodbye, Hussein. I need to go now.” She made to move but he stepped in front of her.

  “Let me take you.” She opened her mouth to refuse, but he quickly cut in. “It’s the least I can do.” When he saw her hesitate he changed tack. “My jaw still hurts. Take a ride with me so I’ll know you’ve forgiven me.” When she made no remark he frowned. “Please.”

  With a sigh she turned to look at him. “Fine.” She knew she sounded ungracious. “Thank you,” she added.

  “My pleasure.” He opened the door. “I’ll speak to the taxi driver.”

  Ensconced in the luxurious comfort of the limousine, Angie faced Hussein. He had finally taken off his sunglasses. “So why are you here, Hussein?”

  He lifted an eyebrow. “To see you safely to KLIA, of course.”

  She frowned. “How did you know I was leaving for the airport?”

  “I asked the concierge to let me know when you called for a taxi,” he stated blandly.

  Angie opened her mouth but nothing came out. She was completely flummoxed.

  “Y…You… How? I mean, how…?” she spluttered in consternation. She took a deep breath and tried again. “How did you get him to do that?”

  “I own that building,” he told her simply.

  She nodded slowly. Okay, so he owned the building. Fine. “Why?”

  “Why do I own the building? It’s a good
investment, I suppose.”

  “No, I mean why did you ask him to alert you about my movements?”

  “You make it sound all cloak-and-dagger.” He smiled.

  Angie was not impressed. “It was cloak-and-dagger, Hussein, even if you do own the building,” she told him tartly.

  “Why are you leaving?” he asked suddenly.

  “My return ticket is for today.”

  “What about Alex?” There was no smile on his face now.

  Angie stared at her hands, which she had somehow folded into a knot without noticing. “I haven’t seen him. He didn’t come to say goodbye.” Her voice cracked but she cleared her throat and fought down the tears that were already hovering on the surface.

  “He told me about your husband.”

  “Ah.”

  “And that you’re afraid to trust.”

  “It’s… It is more complex than that. If Alex left me, I don’t know what I would do. It would kill me.”

  “So you’re leaving him instead.”

  “I have no guarantee that he won’t leave me.”

  “There are no guarantees in life, Angie. It’s all a risk. Life is a risk, and it’s trusting people that helps us through. I know we got off to a bad start, but I’ve seen the effect you’ve had on Alex. I’ve never seen him this happy before. And look at you—you look terrible. It’s because you’re missing him, isn’t it?”

  Hussein spoke with an urgency that she suspected was foreign to him.

  “I do miss Alex, but you don’t understand.”

  “Then make me understand, Angie. You are destroying him, and I can’t just sit here and do nothing! What’s it going to take to get you to stay, dammit?”

  Angie shook her head mutely and forced back tears. She didn’t expect him to understand. She knew about risk and life and the pain, the hurt that went along with both. But she had lost too many people in her life. First her dad—even if she’d never known him—then her mom and finally Michael. She wasn’t prepared to go through that again. And she was not leaving Alex, not really. She just needed to disappear before they started anything too serious. The pain in her heart said that it was too late for that, but she refused to heed it.

  “Why are you doing this?” He was practically pleading now. “He’s not going to survive it if you leave. Alex is not like the guys you know, he has a sensitive soul and he loves deeply. How will you live with yourself knowing that you’re causing such devastation? Don’t you love him?”

  Angie stared at the man who looked so much like Alex and thought about his question. Did she love Alex? She loved him so much she had no idea how she was going to face the rest of her life without him. Dear Lord, just the thought of it was tearing her apart. She felt like her heart was splitting in two and there was nothing she could do about it. Suddenly the pain was too much for her. She doubled over and began to heave, dry sobs racking her body. This was ten, no, a hundred times worse than losing Michael. And this time around she had no one to blame but herself.

  She smelled the tangy scent of cologne before she felt Hussein’s strong arms around her. He held her as she wept as though her life was over. He murmured soft, comforting words until she finally stopped shaking.

  “Should I take you to him?” he asked softly, handing her a box of tissues.

  Angie just nodded and leaned against the seat, inhaling the scent of leather while he spoke into the receiver beside him. She was scared, and she still wasn’t sure if she could trust her judgment or her heart, but she trusted Alex totally. That would have to do for now, because the thought of losing him was no longer something she was willing to contemplate. Even if she had to beg and grovel, she would do whatever it took to get him to look at her the way he used to—like she was the only woman in his world.

  “I will leave you here.”

  Angie turned to Hussein in alarm. He had brought her all the way to Port Klang and led her onto a very beautiful sailboat, where he said Alex was hanging out. After her crying spell, he had entertained her with stories about him and Alex when they were younger. By the time they arrived at the wharf, she had come to the conclusion that Hussein Farhadi was not all that bad. He was still an arrogant playboy, but he had a lot of redeeming qualities. She faced him now, strangely nervous about the thought of facing Alex alone.

  “You won’t stay just a little while?”

  He shot her a wry smile and lifted a hand to tuck her hair behind her ears in a gesture so reminiscent of Alex that she caught her breath. “I think you will do better by yourself,” he said gently. “You should find him in the captain’s cabin below deck.”

  She gulped.

  “I’m sorry I said those things to you back there.” He nodded to where the limo was parked.

  She smiled wryly. “I think I deserved them.”

  “So we’re even?”

  She nodded and smiled. “Thank you, Hussein. Regardless of how this goes, I’ll never forget your friendship.” She stood on her toes and pressed a kiss to his cheeks.

  A flicker of emotion came and went in his eyes before he flashed a mischievous smile her way. “Don’t forget my offer. My boat is much bigger than this.” He winked at her and laughed when she rolled her eyes. With a final nod at the stairs leading below deck, he left.

  Taking a fortifying breath, she went to look for Alex. She found him in the captain’s cabin, just where Hussein had said he’d be. He was lying on the bed, looking incredibly sexy in a pair of white cotton shorts and a white T-shirt. He did not move when he saw her. She saw the surprise in his expression before he lowered his lashes, hooding his eyes.

  “Hi.” Her voice sounded croaky even to her ears.

  “Hey.”

  She walked farther into the room and stood by the king-size bed. “Don’t you want to know why I’m here?”

  Alex closed his eyes. “I’m sure you’ll tell me when you’re ready.”

  Angie sighed. He was not going to make this easy for her. “I was on my way to the airport when we turned back and came here. Hussein brought me.”

  Alex didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say. He could barely hear himself think above the pounding of his heart. He couldn’t get beyond the fact that she was here. She had not gone to the airport. She was here. He wondered if he was dreaming or hallucinating. He had dreamed about her so many times since the night he left her apartment that it wouldn’t surprise him if he opened his eyes and discovered she was gone. Mercifully she began to speak.

  “I…You weren’t there to say goodbye, but Hussein was. And he made me see that nothing in life is guaranteed. I’m scared, Alex. I’m scared that if I lose you I might never recover from that. But then by leaving, I was losing you anyway, so…” She paused to take a breath. “So I figured I would rather have any time I can have with you than not have you at all.”

  When he still didn’t say anything Angie began to cry softly. She climbed onto the bed, kneeling beside him. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, Alex. Please don’t send me away. I love you so much. Just please…”

  Her tears undid him. He grabbed her and pulled her on top of him, rubbing her back as he kissed her eyes, her nose, her cheeks and finally her mouth. He went back to her eyes again and kissed away her tears. “Sweetheart, please don’t cry. Angie, baby, I love you, don’t cry.” He held her as she sobbed her heart out.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said through her tears.

  “You have no idea how glad I am that you’re not at the airport,” he murmured, running his hands through her hair, her wonderful silky hair. He still could not believe she was here with him and that she loved him. She had said she loved him, hadn’t she?

  “You love me?”

  She lifted her head off his chest then and gazed at him, her eyes twin pools of adoration. “I love you so much, Alex Farhadi, that I don’t want to go another day without you. The past couple of days have been hell.”

  He held her face in his hands and looked deep into her tear-filled eyes. His emotions rose,
nearly overwhelming him, and he couldn’t say a word. Closing his eyes briefly, he thanked the Saints and the Prophets for bringing this woman to his life and for giving him a chance with her. Opening his eyes again, he let all his emotions show in them.

  “Angie, I want to ask you something.” When she nodded he continued. “I am going to ask you to marry me.” He gently placed the tips of his fingers on her mouth when she opened it to speak, her eyes wide with apprehension. “Not now, I can see you’re not ready. But I will ask eventually. What I want to know is if you’ll consider spending the rest of your life with me. I’m not asking you to do it. I’m just asking if you will consider it. Will you consider it?”

  He held his breath as he waited for her answer. He already knew he was going to spend the rest of his life with her; she was the other part of his soul. But she had been through a lot and needed time to adjust. She was here, and that was huge. She stared at him now, her eyes deep fathomless pools. He had no idea what was going on in her head, and that worried him. She briefly looked away from his probing gaze, but when she looked back at him, his breath caught in his throat. He saw the promise of tomorrow reflected in her eyes. It was almost as though she’d taken everything he was feeling inside and beamed it back at him. She lowered her lips to him and dropped a quick kiss.

  “When you do ask, I will not consider it.” Alex stiffened and frowned in confusion. Had he read her incorrectly? But she was smiling tenderly at him. “Whenever you ask me to marry you, Alex, I will say yes.”

  The relief that surged through him was so strong he thought he might burst. With a quick move he flipped her over so that she was lying down and he was on top of her. Then he proceeded to kiss her so thoroughly that she was gasping for breath by the time they broke apart. He was already hard from needing her. “You are a minx, Angela Scot, and I love you so much.”

  Angie wrapped her arms around Alex and smiled into his eyes. She leaned up and whispered into his ears, “Show me how much.”

  Alex’s eyes flared with passion and he proceeded to do just that.