Mai Tai One On

by Jill Marie Landis

  “I am, after all, a big star.” He polished off the drink in the hurricane glass.

  “I doubt anyone can forget that.” She wondered if there was any connection between Harold and the planning department.

  Did Harold know someone was on the take? If so, maybe he’d been blackmailing them.

  “I am beloved by many.” Fernando sighed. “We begin construction in the morning. We will start by grading the land.” He pointed across the property, showing Em where he planned to build a huge pool, a pool house and additional guest residences. The structures would be situated away from the main house as close to the lot line of the adjoining property as allowed.

  “That’s quite a project. Are you worried about all the noise?” Em wondered if any of the neighbors had tried to stop the permit process.

  Fernando waved his hand as if brushing away a pesky fly.

  “Of course not. We have friends who bought the estate next door. They will stay in their Malibu home until we are finished building everything. The noise, pooh, no problem for them.”

  Just then Kimo walked over with a tray full of satay and mini crab cakes. Em introduced Kimo to the pianist and Fernando selected a crab cake and popped it in his mouth. He swallowed and took another before Kimo walked off.

  “We are naturally slim and we eat what we want,” Fernando told Em.

  She sighed and tried to sound as if she were making an offhanded comment.

  “I wonder why poor Harold was so worried?” she said.

  “He was worried about our fish. He said the koi punda were very disturbed. This is a fish, no? Koi punda? We were afraid something was wrong with our fabulous koi. But now that we are here, we see nothing wrong with them. They are one of the reasons Fernando wanted this place so badly.”

  “There’s something wrong with the koi?” Em fought to put the pieces together.

  “Harold spoke of the bones of the koi punda. He was very upset about them.” Fernando heaved a sigh and stared into the bottom of his empty glass. “But now we will never know about the fish bones, eh? Poor Harold is muerto.”

  Wally Williams joined them outfitted in a vintage terry cloth pool jacket and matching swim trunks trimmed with tapa cloth fabric details on the pockets. He smiled and handed Fernando another Hideaway, took his partner’s empty glass and deftly set it on Kimo’s tray as he passed by.

  “So, what are we talking about?” Wally wanted to know.

  “The last words of Harold to me.” Fernando sipped the fresh Hideaway through a green florescent straw with a pink paper umbrella attached.

  “Ah. The fish bones.” Wally reached up and patted his hair. Tonight it looked as if his hair spray had been applied with an air gun.

  Fernando plucked a toothpick with two honeydew melon balls skewered on it out of his drink and waved them in the air.

  “This is why we break the ground tomorrow. “

  Em was completely lost. “Why?”

  “Because Harold said the fish are upset. And so Fernando’s mind is made up. Tomorrow we begin. I have a special nail belt I will wear with my sequined Levis. I will be an inspiration to the crew.” Fernando ate the melon balls.

  Wally hooked his arm through Fernando’s. “Marley Martin wants to talk to you about Las Vegas.”

  With a nod to Em, they wove their way across the lanai.

  Em was headed over to the serving table to fill up a tray and pass pupus around until she saw party planner Marlene Lockhart breeze through the living room in a vintage muumuu the color of merlot. A row of koa wood bangles wreathed her right arm. Her fingernails were the same wine red as her muumuu.

  Leilani had given Em given a copy of Fernando’s guest list before the event. Marlene definitely wasn’t on it.

  “Hello, darling,” Marlene gave Em air kisses. “I asked Louie if he thought I should drop by once things got rolling just in case you found yourself in over your head. Of course, he said yes.”

  “Actually, everything’s going great.”

  “It’s such a large affair, I thought—”

  “You’re very kind, but we’ve got it covered.” Em quickly turned the topic. “That’s a very nice muumuu.”

  Marlene ran her hands down the front of the gown and then shook her head.

  “It’s a little long but Louie loves it on me. The hem is soaked from the wet grass, but I’m sure it’ll dry without staining.” She scanned the room. “Oh. There’s Louie,” she’d spotted the bar. “I’ll just flit over and see if I can give him a hand.”

  “I’m sure he’s counting on it.”

  Marlene looked around. “This is so much nicer than that dump you’re all usually stuck in.”

  “My uncle loves that dump.”

  “Yes, well. Thank you, dear. I hate to keep him waiting. I’ll see you later.”

  “Later.” Em watched Marlene walk away before she hustled back to the outdoor kitchen. On the way Em overheard one of the guests say that he planned to hire the Goddess caterers next time he threw a party. Smiling, she moved on, anxious to get back to the main room.

  Ice rattled in the martini shaker as Louie hustled up more Hideaways and regaled guests with the stories that inspired the Tiger Shark Attack and an equally popular drink dubbed Blood on the Beach. His recitals of the legends never failed to gather a crowd. With Marlene cooing beside him, he really turned on the charm.

  Trish moved unobtrusively around the house taking photos. She’d come early to shoot the setup, food, and decorations. Tall cocktail tables covered in retro fabric were scattered around the lanai. The buffet table was spread out beneath a huge white tent on the rolling lawn. Kimo had borrowed someone’s outrigger canoe, filled it with ice, bottles of water and soft drinks. Flaming tiki torches rimmed the perimeter of the lanai. The flames flickered in the night breeze and the scent of citronella lighter almost discouraged the mosquitoes.

  Trish had suggested putting together an album Em could present to future catering clients. Em was just thinking about an expanded menu when Kimo walked up. He looked like a slow moving ice floe in the white chef’s coat she had insisted he wear. Now she was sorry for the portly man was dripping sweat like a damp brown Pillsbury Doughboy.

  “The Hula Maidens are ready to start the entertainment,” he told Em. “But Big Estelle can’t find her mother.”

  There was plenty of room for all the dancers to fit comfortably on Fernando’s huge cement lanai that extended over the garden. Kiki had wanted to set up spotlights for the show, but Em thought they’d be a mood killer so she had Kimo set up tiki torches all around. Kiki refused to be responsible if any of the maidens’ adornments caught fire—which conjured the image of Roland Sharpe fire dancing. Kiki had wanted the detective to perform with them since Fernando could well afford it, but Roland was on duty tonight.

  “So should they start the ceremony?” Kimo was waiting for an answer.

  Em was about to say yes when Lil ran up. “We can’t find Little Estelle anywhere,” she whispered. “Big Estelle won’t dance until she knows where her mother is.”

  Em set down the tray. “It’s pretty hard to misplace someone on a motorized scooter. She’s got to be here somewhere. Have you checked the whole house?”

  When Lil nodded, the floral wreath encircling her head slid down to her nose. Momentarily blinded, she shoved the lei back into place.

  “Trish said she saw her earlier riding around the house polishing off people’s leftover drinks.”

  Em groaned.

  Lil nodded, her pink hair neatly sprayed down. “Suzi saw her drive the Gad-About down the ramp beside the back lanai, but no one has actually seen her for forty minutes.”

  Big Estelle ran up. “My mother’s missing!”

  “I know,” Em said. Big Estelle was unusually pale. “Are you all right?”

  “Of course I’m not all right,” the other woman snapped. “I’m seventy-five, for heaven’s sake, and my ninety-five year old mother just drove off on a motorized scooter. Do you know this plac
e is fifteen acres? With streams and ponds? And beachfront? She could be anywhere. She could be dead by now.”

  “Calm down.” Lillian put her hand on Big Estelle’s shoulder. “Take a deep breath. Go to that happy, happy place inside you.”

  “I’m going to shove something up your happy-happy place if you don’t help me find my mother.” Big Estelle took a threatening step toward Lil who immediately burst into tears.

  “You’ll find her,” Em said, stepping between them. “Round up Kiki and Suzi and Flora. Start looking. I have to work the room. Just give me the high sign when you find her and then start the dancing.”

  Em wished Sophie was there. They could have used another pair of hands, but someone had to stay behind and run the Goddess. To prove she was right about Sophie—to herself as much as anyone else—Em left the girl working the Goddess alone.

  Louie was no help, even if he didn’t have Marlene at his side. No doubt she was charming the guests and touting her own business between breaths. They were just lucky Kiki hadn’t run into Marlene yet. Kiki would definitely have it out with the woman for party crashing.

  Em asked Kimo to fix her another tray. Before he finished, Wally Williams hurried over to her.

  “I can’t find Fernando.” His brow and upper lip were damp with beads of sweat. “I’ve looked all over the house.” His voice broke.

  “We have a missing Hula Maiden, too.”

  “Fernando is not interested in Hula Maidens. If you get my drift.”

  Em shrugged. “I know that. I just meant he’s not the only one missing. Maybe he’s out looking for Little Estelle. I’m sure he’s fine.”

  Wally quickly became more and agitated. Em was afraid he might start tearing at his hair—if his fingers could crack the lacquer.

  “What should we do?” His voice went up an octave.

  Kimo finished piling bacon wrapped water chestnuts on the tray. Em motioned for him to walk it around the room.

  “Where was Fernando the last time you saw him?” Em asked Wally.

  “On the front drive. He walked out to tell Leilani goodbye. I came in to get him another drink. Leilani forgot her keys and came back to get them. She said Fernando had run off to tell that old woman on the little sit-down thing to stop tearing up the grass. Then she left.”

  Kiki ran past the window waving the mini flashlight on her key ring.

  Em hoped to God Little Estelle hadn’t run over Fernando.

  “Let’s go look for him,” she suggested.

  “Oh, thank you so much,” Wally stared out toward the darkened lawn. “It’s such a jungle out there. I think we should enlist all the guests.” Before she could say anything, he jumped up on a chair and clapped his hands.

  “Please! Everyone listen up. Fernando is missing. I’d like you to help us find him.”

  “Is there a prize?” Marley Martin called from across the room.

  “I’ll create a new cocktail,” Louie shouted. “Name it after the winner.”

  Guests began to wander onto the lanai with drinks in hand. The grass was still damp from quickly passing trade showers. Not many people cared to venture far from the bar. Just as Em and Wally headed for the front exit, Suzi came running in.

  “We finally found Little Estelle.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Was Fernando with her? Is she all right?”

  Suzi shook her head. “No Fernando yet. Little Estelle’s out cold. Smells like a rum distillery. Looks like she got going downhill too fast and the Gad-About tipped over. Thank God she’s not hurt. Big Estelle and the gals just loaded her into their van so she can sleep it off while we perform.”

  “You’re not going on just yet. Fernando is missing. We were just on our way out to find him.” She turned to Wally. “If you want, go ahead without me.”

  “Oh, no. I can’t go out there alone. Too many geckoes. Rats. Frogs. Who knows what else?” His hands were shaking. All the color had drained from his face except for two bright blotches of cranberry blush. “I have panic attacks. I need my Xanax.” He looked as if he were about to hyperventilate.

  Em turned to Suzi. “Go get a plastic bag from Kimo. Anything. A Ziplock, whatever. Bring it back and sit with Wally. Make him breathe into it. And find his Xanax.” Suzi hustled off. Em turned to Wally. “You stay here. Try to relax.”

  She heard guests calling out to one another across the grounds. There was no way they could cover all fifteen acres in the dark. She hoped Fernando hadn’t wandered very far.

  She followed the artificial stream that flowed through the house. Just past the front entrance, it passed beneath a low cement bridge that arched over the driveway. Beneath the water, brilliant orange and white koi glittered in the torchlight.

  She heard the rush of the faux waterfall. When she took another step, something furry brushed the side of her foot. Em yelped and jumped back. It was one thing to step on a frog in the dark but there was nothing small and furry on island other than a stray cat. Or a rat.

  She strained to see. Something long and slim trailed out across the grass near her foot. No snakes in Hawaii, she kept reminding herself. At least there weren’t supposed to be. She nudged whatever it was with her toe.

  Then Em bent over and poked the thing. When it didn’t move, she picked it up between her thumb and forefinger.

  Matted aqua feathers. A sopping wet boa. A shiver ran down her spine.

  “Fernando?” she called in a stage whisper. Then she called out again but there was no answer.

  She scanned the darkness and tried calling a few more times. Surely his white Elvis garb would stand out against the shadows, but there was no sign of him. She ran back to the house hoping to find a flashlight around somewhere. She stepped inside the expansive open air entry. No one was around. She was crossing the bridge when she glanced down, her gaze drawn to something in the water. Something large and white.

  Helpless, she watched as Fernando’s body floated beneath the bridge and came out on the other side. Flanked and nudged along by his precious koi, he was face up, headed for the pool beneath the waterfall.

  She screamed for help and ran along the edge of the stream, following the body. Fernando’s eyes were wide open, staring sightlessly at the starry sky. Koi nudged him along, some nibbling him with fat fish lips.

  The water was three feet deep at most. Em took a deep breath, stepped into the shallow stream and grabbed his wrist. She tugged and pulled but couldn’t get him out. All she could do was keep the body from floating on down to the small pool at the end of the stream.

  She continued to yell for help and didn’t stop until Uncle Louie and Wally finally came running out. Wally took one look at Fernando and fainted dead away. Marlene nearly fell over Wally on her way out. When she saw Fernando she covered her mouth with both hands and went tearing back inside.

  Louie stared down at Fernando’s body for a second. Then, as he climbed into the stream beside Em to help pull the pianist out, she heard him mumble to himself, “Gotta be orange. Something the color of the koi. Orange juice, maybe? I’ll call it Koi Pond Kicker.”

  16

  Deja vu

  By the time Em heard Roland had arrived at the estate, it was past ten-thirty p.m. No less than six KPD units, a fire truck and an EMT rescue vehicle lined the drive of Kauai’s latest celebrity homeowner.

  Kauai’s latest dead celebrity homeowner.

  Em was impressed. The uniformed officers had things in hand in minutes. Party guests had been assembled inside the house. Two officers were stationed to make sure no one left as guests waited to give their names, contact numbers, and answer preliminary questions. Wally was on a sofa, sobbing uncontrollably beside Marley Martin.

  Roland had just looked Em’s way when Wally suddenly passed out, collapsing onto the lap of the guitar player. The detective headed straight for her.

  “Pretty interesting,” he spoke without a greeting. “The crew of the Goddess on the second murder scene in less than three weeks. And what a surprise—you found
the body.”

  Speechless, Em blamed her blush on anger.

  “Nobody leaves,” Roland told one of the uniformed officers as the policeman passed by. Then he turned to Em again. “Especially you.”

  “Especially me what?”

  “Don’t leave until I give you the okay.”

  As he looked her over, she refused to feel intimidated. Her black slacks and Goddess tank top were still damp. Louie was all wet, too.

  “You have a bad habit of turning up at murder scenes. So does your uncle,” Roland said.

  “So do you. Do they know how it happened yet?”

  “No. The crime scene’s been trampled. The body was pulled from the stream and covered with a tablecloth before the EMTs arrived. Everyone walked all over the place to get a look.” He gazed around the room. “I’ll need a guest list.”

  “I have one in my supply box. Your friend, Leilani, has one, too. She helped compile it.”

  Em emphasized the words your friend. If Roland noticed, he ignored it as he slowly scanned the room. “Speaking of Leilani, where is she?”

  “She left a little while before Fernando went missing. He walked her outside and then he went looking for Little Estelle Huntington. That’s the last anyone saw of him alive, I think.”

  “Who told you that?”

  “Wally saw him last.”

  “When Leilani left?”

  “I think so. Wally said something about her coming back for her keys. She gave him the message that Fernando had gone to look for Little Estelle. Then Leilani left.”

  “Where’s your bartender? Ms. Chin, is it?”

  Em checked her watch. “Still tending bar at the Goddess.” She knew very well that he knew Sophie’s name.

  “Was she here at all this evening?” he wanted to know.

  Em’s hackles went up and she shook her head. “No. She hasn’t been here. I left her in charge at the Goddess. She’ll be there until 2 a.m. I brought Louie along to bartend because whenever I leave him alone at the bar we lose money.” She was thoughtful. Watching him closely.