Mai Tai One On

by Jill Marie Landis

  “So why kidnap me during the memorial?”

  “Because Harold told me he had taken one of the bones for evidence. You and your crew were always snooping around his place. I saw you the day you were working on the hedge between the bar and Harold’s. I figured you must have found it because I had looked everywhere for it but never found it. I was going to grab you that day after I knocked you out and toss you in my trunk but that gal with the piercings started calling out to you and I was afraid she’d see me. I never did find that damn bone. Do you have it?”

  “Actually now the police have it.”

  “I should have known,” Leilani said under her breath.

  “So why didn’t you kill me?”

  “While the police were busy hunting for you, they weren’t focusing on Harold or Fernando’s murders. I had to keep you alive. With no body, the search would be ongoing. Meanwhile, the Hale Pua escrow closed and at the last minute, I got the idea to make it look like your little tattooed friend kidnapped you and murdered my uncle and Fernando. That took the heat off me entirely. Yesterday I took the wires off two of the spark plugs in your bartender’s car and hid nearby. When it didn’t start, she left home on foot. Then I took the car and used it to dump you.”

  “So far your plan is working fine. Sophie’s in jail. Why kidnap me now?”

  Leilani smiled. “I thought I’d be home free with both murders solved, but Roland is on to something. He called a couple of hours ago and wanted the keys to Hale Pua. He’ll get in with or without them if he needs to. Once he finds the safe room where I kept you hidden, he’ll want to know why I didn’t tell him about it. I tried to clean it up, but there might be something left behind. You made a mess of the floor. I can’t take a chance. Better to let everyone think I’m dead.”

  “Killing me will only cast doubt on Sophie’s guilt, you know. Roland will ask why you never showed him the safe room and why you didn’t take him the keys today. It’ll all come out eventually.”

  “It won’t matter because by then I’ll be gone. I’m not killing you, I’m killing myself. Actually, I am killing you, but I’m going to make it look like I committed suicide. I’m switching you for me.”

  “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not Asian.”

  “Very funny. But you are wearing my clothes. We’re almost the same height. I brought along a can of black spray paint to put on your hair. It won’t fool anyone for long, but I’m hoping they won’t find much of you anyway. I plan to make sure there is enough blood in the water to draw every shark within a five hundred mile radius. The police will find my car and my suicide note. Your friends will think you left the island to go home. By the time they realize what’s left of you isn’t me, I’ll be long gone.”

  “Why me? Why do you really need to kill me when you could just leave your car and a note saying you committed suicide?”

  “Because finding even one piece of you will keep everyone busy while I get further away.”

  Em was watching the road, gritting her teeth as they barreled around another curve. “You think you have it all figured out.”

  “It’s a gift.” Leilani assured her. “A lot of people owe my husband favors. I’ve got someone picking me up by boat at Tunnels. After I dump you, all I have to do is get there and I’ll be off island in no time”

  “For such a smart woman that sounds like a stupid plan.” Em sighed.

  “You’re tempting me to put on the brakes and pull over. Pistol whipping always looks like so much fun in the movies but unfortunately there’s no time to try it. We’re almost at the end of the road.

  “Um, Leilani?”

  “This might be the time to start begging for your life. I’m listening, but it’s a waste of breath.”

  Em glanced into her side view mirror. “Better look behind you. Someone is following us.”

  Leilani looked in her rear view and saw the white panel van bearing down on them. She took the next curve and then smoothly accelerated. So did Em’s heart rate. As she studied the van in the side view mirror, she knew the Hula Maidens were closing in. All she had to do was keep Leilani talking.

  “So, everyone is supposed to think you’re dead until they realize the body parts they fished out of the ocean are mine,” she said.

  “You’re not as stupid as you look.” Leilani smiled, concentrating on the road where pond sized puddles had built up along the edges. Though the rain had stopped, huge water droplets still dripped off the trees and smeared the windshield. “Of course, if you were really smart, you wouldn’t be sitting there right now.”

  “You know, I just might have a little plan of my own up my sleeve.” Two could play at this game. Nothing wrong with buying time, Em thought.

  “Oh, right,” Leilani sniffed.

  Em checked the mirror again. Leilani had lost the van around the last curve. Em prayed the Maidens had seen her and that they really were in pursuit and just not out on some joy ride or out picking flowers for hair adornments.

  “There are officers watching Louie’s house,” Em lied.

  “Oh, right. Would they be the officers who let me walk you out at gunpoint?”

  “Roland knew it was you all along. We set you up.”

  “We who?”

  “Roland and me.”

  Leilani turned to stare at Em. “You’re lying. There is no Roland and you.”

  Em shrugged. “You hope. How about eyes on the road?”

  From the look on her face, Leilani didn’t appear to be completely sure of herself anymore.

  With her gaze glued to the side view mirror, Em pretended to stare out the window. The van was no longer in sight. They were nearing Ke’e Beach at the end of the road and because of the rain the lower parking area was deserted.

  Suddenly the Estelles’ van came roaring into view again and was gaining on the Mercedes. Em saw Big Estelle gripping the wheel, her eyes huge. Kiki was in the passenger seat beside her. Em could just imagine Kiki yelling instructions at Big Estelle. Flora, Lil and Suzi were lined up like bowling pins on the back seat. Em couldn’t see her, but figured Little Estelle was tucked in the back perched on the Gad-About.

  At the speed they were going someone could get hurt.

  Em didn’t know how she would live with herself if anything happened to any of them.

  Leilani had almost reached the end of the road at Ke’e. There were only a handful of cars parked about fifty yards ahead of them.

  Now or never, Em thought. She leaned right toward the door for momentum, then rocked left toward Leilani with all the strength she could muster. Her head butted Leilani’s shoulder and connected with enough force that Leilani lost her grip on the wheel.

  The Mercedes fishtailed. As Leilani stood on the brake, the wheels hit a patch of water and the car did a complete three-sixty before the hood connected with a tree and crumpled. Both airbags deployed.

  Blinded by a white cloud, Em was deafened by the gunshot that followed a few seconds later. She was certain she was about to find herself floating above the car, looking down at her body wedged between the doughy air bag and the plush leather seat. When she realized she was still alive, still trapped behind the air bag, she tried biting it but nothing happened. A whoosh of hot humid outside air hit her when the driver’s side door flew open.

  Em screamed for help. She’d worked her fingers down to the lei needle so she slid it out of the silk pants. After a few attempts, she finally punctured her air bag.

  Seconds seemed like hours before the passenger door flew open and Kiki appeared.

  “She’s alive!” Kiki hollered. She grabbed Em’s arm and tugged her out of the seat. Em stumbled but landed on her feet. Her ears were still ringing.

  “We heard a gunshot!” Lil cried. Tears were coursing down her smooth flat cheeks. “I thought you were dead.”

  “Leilani shot her air bag,” Kiki called back. “Now she’s getting away!”

  Flora and Big Estelle were closing in on Em and Kiki. Flora stopped to hitch up her u
nderpants and kept coming. Trish took off running down the road. She raised her camera and fired off a few automatic shots.

  “She’s got a gun!” Em yelled to Trish. “Let her go!”

  “Come back, Trish!” Suzi hollered. “I called 911. Roland’s already on the way.”

  The last they saw of Leilani, she was loping like a mountain goat toward the overgrown jungle area on the makai side of the road. She disappeared into a stand of overgrown plum trees draped with huge pothos vines.

  Kiki dug a pair of scissors out of her purse and snipped the plastic zip tie off Em’s wrists. There was blood seeping through the bandages. “Looks like your cuts have reopened.”

  Surrounded by the Maidens, Em stared at her bleeding wrists and blinked back tears.

  She had to clear her throat before she could talk. “That was some driving, Big Estelle.”

  Big Estelle beamed.

  “Heck, I’d have topped that in my day.” Little Estelle revved the Gad-About engine. “I used to race T buckets.”

  “Oh, Mother. You never in your life—”

  They stopped when Roland’s unmarked car came screeching to a halt beside Leilani’s Mercedes. Two KPD cruisers slid in behind. Sirens blared somewhere down the highway behind them. The officers started cordoning off the end of the road and turning back traffic.

  Roland took one glance around the circle of babbling women and walked straight to Em. He reached for her and drew her toward him.

  “Are you all right?” He looked mad enough to spit glass as he suddenly let go of her and stared off toward the water. The muscle along his jaw was working overtime.

  “I’m fine. Really. I’m just sorry that Leilani got away.” She pointed to the jungle toward the spot where the woman had disappeared.

  He took hold of her hands, stared at her bandages and frowned. “I radioed for a helicopter. We’ll get her.”

  “She said some guy who owed her husband a favor is picking her up by boat at Tunnels.”

  The Maidens had fallen remarkably silent the minute Roland had taken hold of her hands.

  “You had enough, Nancy Drew?” He asked.

  “Yes.” She nodded. “But I have one more favor to ask.”

  “Shoot.”

  “Take me to jail.”

  “Jail?” He frowned and let her go.

  “I want to be there when you release Sophie. I need to apologize.”

  41

  Free At Last

  When Sophie walked out of the holding area at the Lihue jail, the first person she saw was Em Johnson. There were dark circles under Em’s eyes, but she was smiling. Detective Sharpe was hovering at her side like a bodyguard. Em looked as bad as Sophie felt; her hair was a mess, her wrists bandaged, but when she saw Sophie, she rushed across the room.

  “I’m so, so sorry,” Em said, grabbing her hand.

  It was the last thing Sophie expected. She glanced over at Sharpe and then turned to Em again. It was hard to stay cool with her heart pounding. “What made you change your mind?”

  “It was Leilani. She abducted me. Twice.”

  “Shark Lady?” Sophie glanced up at the detective.

  Roland confirmed with a nod and said, “I’ll leave you two while I start on some paperwork. They’ll be booking Leilani soon.”

  Em told him goodbye and watched him walk away.

  “She’s the one who kidnapped me the night of the memorial,” Em said. “The one who stole your car. I’m so sorry.”

  Sophie had to give Em credit. She never once dropped her gaze as she apologized.

  “I didn’t want to believe it,” Em went on, “But the morning I ended up in the trunk of your car—I was convinced you were the kidnapper. I recognized the sound of your Honda and you have those acrylic nails, but so does Leilani and…well, I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, and I hope that you won’t quit. We really need you at the Goddess.” Em finally smiled and added, “The Maidens have been beside themselves.”

  Sophie shrugged. “I’ve got nowhere else to go. Besides I’m guessing there’s no one else willing to get the Maidens ready for the Slug Festival.”

  Em squeezed Sophie’s hand. “Speaking of the Maidens, they’re all out in the parking lot. When they start dancing, act surprised.”

  “They’re going to dance in the parking lot?”

  “To celebrate your release.”

  “Maybe we could slip out the back way?”

  “They’d hunt you down.”

  They started across the lobby. Before Sophie could open the door, Leilani Cabral was escorted inside. Two uniformed officers flanked her like burly bookends. Her clothes were caked with mud from the knees down. Her hair was tangled and matted. Mascara encircled her eyes.

  When she recognized Sophie and Em, she stopped dead in her tracks.

  “I suppose you’re both happy,” Leilani snarled. One of the uniforms tried to nudge her along but she refused to budge. “I’ll get out of this, you know. My husband is a judge. You have no idea how things work around here.”

  “I doubt you’ll weasel out of two murder charges,” Em said.

  “Like I said, you’re not from around here.”

  Each of the officers took an elbow and forced Leilani to start walking. Sophie watched as they hauled Shark Lady over to the booking desk.

  “What if she’s right?” Sophie wondered aloud.

  “No way is she getting off,” Em said.

  “We’ll see.” Sophie had her hand on the door. “Right now, we still have to face the music.”

  “Literally,” Em said.

  Sophie pushed the door open and a second later the lilting strains of Blue Hawaii came blaring out of a boom box across the parking lot.

  42

  Two Hot Surprises

  Em’s Jungle Juice was a hit.

  David Letterman gave it his shriek of approval so Louie made it the 2-for-1 drink at his “Shark Lady’s Bon Voyage Bash.”

  From the minute the news broke that Leilani Cabral was denied bail and charged with double homicide and kidnapping, the Maidens had started planning the Bash. Kimo prepared two special dishes—Shark Poki and Lock Down Lemon Pie—along with the usual menu. Em listed the ingredients she wanted in her green cocktail and Uncle Louie went to work blending just the right mix before he recorded the recipe in his Booze Bible.

  The Hanalei School media class came cheap so Louie ordered a banner for the occasion. A bulk box of blank DVD discs was all the class asked in return. The banner was so huge folks had to duck beneath it to get into the Goddess.

  Tables inside and out were packed with locals and tourists alike. The tourists had no idea who Shark Lady was, where she was going, or why everybody was in such a great mood but they ordered round after round of Jungle Juice and didn’t care.

  As Em negotiated between crowded tables, making her way across the room to join Sophie behind the bar, Kiki stepped out of the bathroom outfitted in a skin tight silver lamé gown with a two foot deep mermaid flounce from her knees to the floor. She had a faux shark fin sprouting out of the top of her head.

  Em knew her mouth was hanging open but for the life of her, she couldn’t manage to close it.

  “Do you love it?” Kiki executed a coquettish twirl.

  “I can honestly say I’ve never seen anything like it,” Em admitted.

  “Isn’t this fabric a trip? The expense of having these custom made on Oahu was well worth it.” Kiki ran her hand down the gown’s shiny silver fabric. “Not only is it the perfect costume for tonight, but if we replace the fins with strands of shells, pearls, and some glitter, we’d look just like mermaids. You never know when you’ll need a mermaid costume.”

  “Who knew you’d ever need to dress like a shark?” Em had a hard time keeping a straight face.

  “Exactly my point. You just never know.” Kiki glanced over at the bathroom door. “The girls are ready whenever you are.”

  Em checked the clock above the bar. “Do you know where Un
cle Louie is?”

  “I think he went next door to invite your new neighbor over.”

  “The guy is barely settled. I haven’t even seen him yet.”

  “You know Louie. Besides, rumor is the guy is kinda famous.”

  “I heard he was a writer or something like that.” Em had picked up bits and pieces of conversation. She was just thankful that the new owner of Harold’s place hadn’t torn it down to build a monstrosity. For now the man seemed content with the restored cottage.

  Kiki looked smug as she adjusted the fin pinned atop her head.

  “I heard that he writes for a television crime series,” she said. “I figure he’ll make a great resource when we get our license.”

  “What license?” Em scanned the crowd packed into the bar. If the entertainment didn’t start soon there’d be another run on the bar.

  “For our detective agency. I talked to Louie about it last week. He said he’d run it by you.”

  “What are you talking about?” Little Estelle came gliding into the main room on the Gad-About. As she passed the back row of tables, she barely missed Buzzy’s right foot. She hit the break and hollered over the crowd, “The natives are getting restless back there in the dressing room. Flora has eaten so much poki it’s putting a strain on her seams.”

  “Get the girls lined up, Little Estelle. We’re about to go on.” Kiki turned to Em again. “As I was saying, I suggested Louie apply for a detective agency license. It never hurts to have a backup plan. If this place ever goes belly up then we’ll have something to fall back on.”

  “A detective agency?” Em wondered if she’d walked into an episode of The Twilight Zone. “I don’t think so.”