The Loudest Silence_A Post-Apocalyptic Zombie Novel

by Kate L. Mary

  Each level seemed to awe her more than the last. The clinic and classroom, the levels of empty condos, the now empty pool, and the gym—which was a godsend in a world where there was very little entertainment. Going down twelve flights of stairs was exhausting, but the excitement Harper showed at each new discovery made it worth it. Of course, I was under no delusion that I wouldn’t be cursing the broken elevator on the way back up.

  “The very bottom level is for storage, although it’s pretty empty now. We use it for a few other things, though. Blake and Jasper make bullets, which we trade in the settlements. This, however, is the best part of the shelter.” I paused outside the closed door on level eleven so I could give her a smile. “Promise you won’t freak out?”

  Harper looked past me to the door. “What could be more overwhelming than a pool?”

  “This.”

  I turned the knob and pushed the door open, stepping back so Harper could get a look inside. Her eyes were huge. Bigger than they’d been any other time during the tour, and for good reason.

  “These are the hydrogardens.” I stepped into the room and was immediately surrounded by greenery. “It’s where we grow our food.”

  The moisture in the air was thick, making it stuffy, but the scent of nature was refreshing enough to make me forget about it the second I set foot inside. Thanks to the drought, nothing outside the shelter was this green. Here, though, we were literally surrounded by it. Vines of grapes grew on trellises, apple trees towered over me, while rows and rows of vegetables bursting with life lined the other side of the room.

  Harper stood in the center of it all, her mouth hanging open as she turned in a slow circle, trying to take it all in at once. She pointed to an apple, red against the green leaves of the tree it hung from, but before she could say anything, something else caught her eye and she turned. Tomatoes, strawberries, squash, green beans—we had it all.

  “How?” she asked when she spun to face me.

  “I don’t know.” I waved my arms at the surrounding greenery. “I won’t even pretend to understand this technology, I just know that as long as we come here every day to maintain the gardens, we have fresh food. We always have.”

  “I can’t believe you have so much when the rest of us are out there struggling just to find water.” She turned her eyes on me, and for the first time since the tour started, she wasn’t smiling. “Why aren’t you sharing all this? You have empty rooms. You could bring more people here.”

  “We’ve talked about it a lot, but it’s too risky. If we let people know we have all this, they could decide they don’t want to share and run us out. If we invite more people here, we could all end up dead.” I looked down because as much as I knew we were right for trying to protect ourselves, it didn’t chase the shame away completely. “We learned that lesson the hard way.”

  “One bad person, and you decide you’re going to hoard all this and let the rest of us starve?”

  I looked up, forcing myself to meet her gaze head on. “One bad person who killed thirteen of us. Thirteen people who were a part of this family. That isn’t an easy loss to get over.”

  “You don’t have to tell me,” Harper snapped.

  She was right. Even worse, she wasn’t the only person out there who’d experienced loss since the apocalypse started. Everyone had. Pretending like we were the only ones whose pain mattered was wrong, and not for the first time, guilt squeezed my insides. Still, I knew convincing the others wouldn’t be easy. Kellan, especially.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “It’s not like we don’t want to help, it’s just that we know what we could lose by doing it. It’s a scary thought. You have to understand that.”

  Harper shook her head, but then nodded. “I do, but I don’t think it’s fair.”

  “Anyone who’s alive today knows life isn’t fair.” I turned my back to the garden, anxious to change the subject. “Let’s go see if everyone else is awake.”

  13

  It was still early, but like me, Emma must not have been able to sleep, because she was in the common room when Harper and I made our way back there.

  Like she’d been waiting for us, Emma stood when we entered. “Kellan said you were doing the tour.”

  “I was.” I motioned to the couches. “Take a seat, Harper. Relax.”

  She looked back and forth between us, her eyes as wide as always, but did as she was told. Like the last time we were here, she wouldn’t stop looking around. After all this time in the outside world, the shelter must have felt like a dream to her.

  “How are you feeling?” Emma asked. “How’s the bite?”

  I had the urge to slap myself on the forehead. We’d been together for more than an hour, and I hadn’t asked Harper about her injuries.

  The girl rubbed the bandage Cade had put on her arm the night before. “It’s okay. It still hurts, but less than it did. At least I think so.”

  “That’s good.” Emma nodded. “Cade is outside with Kellan, but when he gets back he can take another look at it.”

  I perked up at the knowledge that they were outside. “Are they taking care of the horde?”

  Emma tore her gaze from Harper. “That and making sure the animals are secure. It looks like another storm is coming in.”

  “I should go help.” I stood, my hand already moving to the knife at my hip.

  “Horde?” Harper said in a small voice.

  “The dead sometimes gather outside our fence. We’re not sure if they’re drawn to the animals or something else, but we try to take care of them whenever they show up. The fence is important to our survival.” Emma got to her feet, too. “Do you want to go up? See the surface in the light of day?”

  Harper stood slowly, nodding. “Okay.”

  I was already moving, but I slowed so they could catch up. Emma was talking softly to the girl, once again reminding me of the day Kellan and I arrived here.

  I was so focused on the memories that I thought Harper was talking to me when she asked, “How did you get here?”

  I’d opened my mouth to answer when Emma said, “Jasper. My dad met him online, in one of those prepper chat rooms that used to exist. He wasn’t hardcore like Jasper, it was more for fun, but he had a stash of food and survival gear. When he died from the virus, I got in touch with Jasper, and he agreed to let us meet him.”

  “Us?” Harper asked. “You and your mom?”

  Emma’s smile faded. “No, she died from the virus. Blake. I was with Blake when my parents died.” Emma pressed her lips together like she’d taken a bite out of something sour.

  “Oh.” Harper’s frown deepened. “But you’re with Cade now?”

  “I am,” Emma whispered.

  We burst out of the shelter on the surface in the nick of time, saving Emma from having to explain the complicated situation with Cade and Blake. I’d expected the sun to be burning down on us, but was instead greeted by an overcast sky that had totally blocked out its rays. The wind whipped my hair into my face as I stared up at the sky, turning around so I could look into the distance. It was dark here, but the black clouds heading toward us were twice as ominous.

  “You come to help?” Cade called, drawing my attention.

  Kellan stood next to him, banging a knife against the chain link fence in hopes of grabbing the attention of the three zombies left standing. Metal clanged against metal, and the zombies moaned, but they seemed unwilling to get any closer. They stood at a distance, at least five feet from the fence, chomping their teeth and alternating between growls and moans. A half dozen or so were already down, thanks to the efforts of Cade and Kellan, but the others seemed determine to avoid the fates of their doomed brethren.

  I pulled my knife as I jogged over. “You have to open the gate.”

  I had to raise my voice to be heard over the violent wind, and as I stood there, the temperature seemed to drop several degrees. When I looked back, I found Emma and Harper busy trying to herd the goats into the surface shelter. We�
�d be scooping shit up off the floor tomorrow, but at least a tornado wouldn’t kill them. Unlike the rabbits and chickens who had a shelter to hide in, the goats had only an overhang and would be totally exposed to the storm.

  “It’s too risky,” Kellan called, drawing my gaze back to him.

  “There are three of us,” Cade shouted then pointed to the sky. “We have to do this now. The storm is bearing down on us.”

  Kellan swore, his gaze going from the three zombies to me. “You stay close to me and do as I say. Got it?”

  I wanted to roll my eyes, but there was no time. Lightning flashed across the darkness and was quickly followed by the rumble of thunder. We needed to get this done before it decided to hail again. Or worse.

  “Okay!”

  Kellan nodded and shoved his dark hair out of his face. Cade was already working on the lock, and we went over to join him. The three zombies outside the fence, as if sensing we were on our way, stumbled forward. Kellan swore and stepped in front of me, acting like a human shield. It was both touching and utterly infuriating.

  “Ready?” Cade called.

  “Do it,” Kellan growled while I said, “Yes.”

  Cade yanked the chain free and shoved the gate open, and a second later we were on the move. I was at the back of the three-person train. Cade, who was in the lead, reached the dead first. He grabbed the thing by its tattered shirt, working to keep it at arm’s length while Kellan circled around it. I stayed at his back, keeping a close eye on the other two as they advanced. The creatures growled, and Cade swore. Kellan muttered something under his breath I couldn’t make out, then shoved the blade of his knife into the base of the zombie’s skull and up into its brain.

  The dead man dropped, and we moved on to the second one.

  Kellan reached him first, so this time he was the one to grab the creature. “Do it,” he grunted to Cade, but his eyes were on me.

  I looked from them to the final zombie, only three feet away. It reached for me, and I dodged its decaying hands. Kellan swore, but I didn’t look his way. I kept my focus on the zombie, twisting when it reached for me a second time so I ended up behind it.

  Man or woman, I wasn’t sure, but the thing had long, stringy hair. I grabbed a handful of what was left and wrapped it around my fist, earning me a growl from the dead creature. My heart was pounding. Nine years into the apocalypse, and I’d only come head to head with zombies a handful of times. Still, I was determined not only to contribute, but to learn how to defend myself in case—God forbid—I ever found myself out there alone.

  “Dammit, Regan,” Kellan called.

  I didn’t look away from the zombie as I swung my knife down, aiming for the creature’s skull.

  My blade hit bone, and the impact vibrated up my arm. The sharp point only made it an inch or two into the creature’s head at the most. The dead man was still up and angrier than ever. He twisted and chomped, and the hair I’d been holding tore away from his scalp. I stumbled back a few steps at the sudden release, my feet slamming into something behind me. I went down, the creature’s hair still wrapped around my hand as I fell on my ass.

  The bruise from the other day throbbed from the impact, and above me the zombie was staggering my way. I put my hand down, trying to push myself up, and my fingers squished into the putrid face of one of the zombies Kellan and Cade had already taken out. That must have been what I’d tripped over.

  “Shit.” I scurried back, over the body, shaking my hand to get the decaying flesh off my fingers.

  The advancing zombie’s mouth was open when he was yanked back. Seconds later, he dropped to the ground, revealing the grim face of Kellan.

  “This is why you shouldn’t be out here.” He shoved his knife into its sheath and held his hand out to me.

  I brushed him off and pushed myself up on my own. “No. This is exactly why I need to be out here.”

  Thunder boomed through the air, and I looked up. The sky had darkened while the already thick clouds had begun to gather.

  I was still staring at the sky when Kellan grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the fence. “We’re going in!”

  Cade, Emma, and Harper were standing by the open doorway to the shelter, waiting for us while simultaneously working to keep the terrified goats inside. We stumbled through the open gate, and Kellan dropped my arm so he could secure the lock. Emma waved for me to join her, but I refused to leave until Kellan was ready. A raindrop splattered against his back while I waited, and then another hit me in the face. More began to fall as he turned, and together we ran for the shelter. We’d just made it inside when the sky opened up.

  Kellan pulled the door shut, blocking out the sound of the pounding storm, but there was no relief from noise. Not with the goats crammed into the room.

  “Come on!” Emma called, waving for Harper to follow her as she jogged down the stairs.

  Cade went after them, but once again Kellan stopped me by grabbing my arm.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely audible over the goats. “I know you need the practice, and I know you feel like I’m holding you back, but when we’re out there…” He let out a deep breath. “I worry about you.”

  Something flashed in his eyes, and that was when the truth hit me. It wasn’t only me. Kellan had feelings for me, too.

  I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could, he rolled his eyes. “This drama with Emma, Blake, and Cade is getting out of hand, you know?”

  The statement was so out of nowhere that for a moment I couldn’t figure out how to respond. Then the truth of what he was saying sank in. Kellan was telling me that this thing between us wasn’t a good idea. That it would be risking too much.

  I wasn’t sure if I agreed with him, but I nodded anyway.

  Kellan exhaled and jerked his head toward the stairs. “Let’s get in and get dry.”

  Harper was a quiet person. Closed off. It should have made me feel uneasy around her, but it didn’t. Instead of making it feel like she was hiding something, her silent presence made her seem young and innocent, and it wasn’t long before I realized that impression of her was right.

  Like me, she’d been the baby of her group. These days, there was very little innocence left in the world, and when people found it, they seemed to have one of two reactions. Either they exploited it, or they did everything they could to keep it intact. With my family, I’d been taught to shoot and defend myself on a basic level—and Emma had been sure to talk to me about men and sex—but other than that, they’d worked to keep me safe and protected. Harper’s family had been similar except they hadn’t even allowed her to go out to hunt or taught her to use a gun. The fact that she was immune—special—had no doubt added to their desire to keep her in a protective cocoon. I knew how that felt firsthand. Too bad they’d failed.

  As the first week passed, things became more comfortable. More normal. Harper helped me in the hydrogarden, helped with the animals, and I even started teaching her how to make soap. She was fitting in well, finding her place, but we were still treating her like a prisoner, and I hated it.

  After five nights of Harper sleeping in the holding cell, I decided that forcing her to return to the tiny room was wrong. She wasn’t a threat, and we all knew it—even Kellan, although he hadn’t warmed up to her quite yet—and keeping her in there was unfair.

  On day six, I decided to broach the subject with Jasper.

  He was sitting in the common room reading, his eyes narrowed on the pages in front of him like he was having a difficult time making out the words. I paused for a moment, smiling at the way his lips moved as he read the words to himself. He’d always done that, and it had never ceased to make me laugh. Now was no exception.

  “Hey, old man,” I said as I crossed the room to him.

  Jasper lowered the book and smiled up at me, his eyes still narrowed. “You keep calling me old and you’re going to give me a complex.”

  “I’ve always called you old.” I slid onto the couch
next to him.

  Jasper tossed his book onto the table and put his arm around me. “That’s true, but it was cuter when I didn’t feel so old.”

  It felt as if his words had reached inside and squeezed my heart, and I sat up so I could get a better look at him. “You’re feeling okay, right?”

  Jasper chuckled, patting my arm. “As good as can be expected for a seventy-five year old man with raging arthritis and no medicine. Don’t you worry, though. I have a few good years left before I kick the bucket. I promise.”

  Without thinking, I threw my arms around him, suddenly overwhelmed by the idea of him dying and leaving me the way my parents had.

  “Now, now, none of that.” He patted my back twice before prying me away. His eyes swam with amusement and pride when he looked me over. “I know you didn’t come here to blubber all over me, so spit it out. What’s on your mind?”

  I swallowed down the emotion threatening to bubble up in the form of tears. “Harper. It doesn’t seem fair to keep locking her up. We all know she’s not a threat, and I have an extra room.”

  “I was thinking the same thing. I felt mighty awful when I had to take her up there last night.” He gave me a knowing look. “You know Kellan is going to have something to say about her sharing your condo, though. Don’t you?”

  “I know.” I flushed at the knowledge that there was so much more to his protectiveness than he was letting on. “It drives me nuts how overprotective he is.”

  “He loves you. That’s all.” Jasper pressed his lips together like he was trying to keep in a smile and patted my leg. “Anyway, I’m on board with it, and if you want me to fight it out with Kellan, I will. Although I have a suspicion you kind of like arguing with him.”

  I rolled my eyes even as the heat crept further up my neck. “Like it? No. Find it impossible to escape? That’s another story altogether.”

  Jasper chuckled. “Sure.”

  I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before getting to my feet. “I’m going to find Harper and let her know.”