And Playing the Role of Herself...

by K E Lane

  I put my hand on her arm gently and stepped back in front of her. "Liz…I'm glad you're here…"

  Liz's eyes darted to each of our faces, then down to where my hand was still on Robyn's arm. Her frown deepened. She stared for a moment, then shook her head slightly and stood.

  "Hi Robyn," she flicked a glance at the dark-haired woman, and then settled her eyes back on me. "Do you mind if I talk to Caid a minute?"

  Robyn gave me a searching look, and I smiled, assuring her that it was okay. She looked back at Liz. "Sure, Liz. I need to get back to ITD anyway." She placed a light hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently. "Thanks for lunch, Caid. It was the nicest lunch I've had in quite a while. I'll call you about tomorrow?"

  I nodded, smiling. Robyn threw with one final glance at Liz, then left.

  Liz frowned after her as the door closed. "What's up with her?"

  I shrugged and watched her, trying to gauge her mood. I was hoping she was here to talk things out, but it was just as likely that she was here to yell at me…maybe I shouldn't have sent Robyn off, after all.

  She turned to me abruptly, and pulled me into brief but forceful hug. Liz wasn't normally very touchy, and I was surprised into stillness. Before I could respond, she stepped back, looking embarrassed.

  "Liz…"

  "Here." She thrust something at me, and I automatically opened my hand to receive it. "I'm sorry I was such a bitch, Caid. I never wanted to be that way with you."

  I looked at the objects in my hand. Three miniature Cookies 'N Cream candy bars.

  "Paula said that maybe I should get you flowers or something, but I know you hate crap like that, since they just die and stink up your trailer, and hell, everyone always sends flowers to suck up, and I know you're a freak for these stupid chocolate things…" Liz rattled on, and I just watched her, smiling slightly.

  I was a freak for these stupid little candy bars. Maybe four people in the world knew that about me. Liz had remembered, and without Paula's help.

  I loved it when people surprised me in a good way.

  "…I was just so goddamn mad at Grant for blindsiding me like that…"

  "Liz, it's okay."

  She paused. "Really?"

  I nodded. "Really."

  Her whole body slumped in relief, and she sank down on the couch. "Thank god."

  "But for the record," I added, "Charming Liz is still my favorite."

  She bit her lip. "I'm really sorry, Caid."

  "I know you are, hon." I unwrapped one of the candy bars and offered it to her. "Want one?"

  She grimaced. "God no. Those things are disgusting. I don't know how you eat them. They look like squares of lard with ants in them."

  The candy paused on its way to my mouth. I looked at it - really looked at it - and saw that she was right.

  "When in your entire life have you seen a square of lard, woman?" I popped the candy into my mouth, trying not to think of lard and ants.

  She sniffed. "I know what lard looks like."

  "Because you cook with it so often."

  "Hey, I watch Iron Chef…those guys are big on lard." Her eyes widened. "Holy shit, the other night I saw them do this thing with some fucked up kind of melon and a part of a shark that should never be shown on television…."

  My loud laugh echoed off the walls of the trailer. I loved this woman, and it was nice to be reminded why.

  She stopped mid-sentence and frowned. "What?"

  "Liz, don't ever change."

  She smiled beautifully. "Well of course not, Sugar. Why mess with perfection?"

  Why not indeed.

  I laughed again and sat down on the couch next to her.

  "So we're okay?" she asked again.

  "We're fine."

  She turned to me, suddenly very serious. "You're one of the only real friends I have around here, Caid. I couldn't stand it if something messed that up."

  "I'd be pretty damn upset about it too Liz," I said, and patted her on the thigh. "And I think you have a lot more friends around than you think."

  I leaned back in the cushions with a deep sigh. Already today I'd learned that my future on 9P was about to take a very interesting turn, come very close to ending my career, nearly lost a good friend, embarked on a promising friendship with a woman I wanted far more than friendship from…It had been one hell of a day, and it was barely halfway over.

  "Speaking of friends - you and Robyn seemed pretty chummy. I didn't know you two hung out."

  "We hadn't, before today. I needed to get away from the set for a while, and Robyn came along."

  "Oh, Caid…you didn't take her on one of your nature hikes, did you?" She wrinkled her nose in distaste. I'd asked Liz along on one of my trips once, after which we both agreed I would never ask again. Nature was not Liz's thing.

  "She liked it," I said, somewhat defensively.

  "I knew there was something off about that woman…"

  "There is not!" The vehemence in my voice startled both of us.

  "Whoa, Caid, I was joking. I actually kind of like Robyn. Anyone who can shut Arturo up with a look is okay in my book."

  I rubbed my face and sighed. "Sorry, I'm a little on edge today, I guess."

  We sat in silence for a few minutes. I looked at my watch, noting I needed to be in makeup soon.

  "Caid?" Liz was staring into space, a puzzled expression on her face.

  "Hmm?"

  "Why do you think no one thinks I'd kiss a woman?"

  Oh boy. I knew those stupid numbers would worry her.

  "I don't know, Liz, but I wouldn't worry about it too much. It's just a test group."

  She nodded, and fell silent for a while.

  "Have you?"

  I'd been idly studying the ceiling, and turned my head towards her. "Have I what?"

  "Kissed a woman?"

  "No," I answered honestly, after a moment of hesitation.

  But I've wanted to. God, how I've wanted to. During the scene with Robyn, today at the table-read, at the falls, and every damn time Robyn walks in the room…

  "Have you ever wanted to?"

  I drew in a surprised breath, and Liz looked over at me curiously.

  I sat for a moment, then cleared my throat and said quietly, "Yes."

  She nodded thoughtfully. "That must be it. I never have. Wanted to kiss a woman, I mean."

  I stared. I wasn't sure what reaction I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't calm logic.

  She pushed herself off the couch using the armrest and one of my knees. "Well, I've got a two o'clock call time. Paula's going to be over here pounding on the door any moment. Might as well save her the trip." She stopped at the door. "I'm glad we're okay, Caid."

  I found my voice. "Me too."

  She opened the door, and looked over her shoulder. "And you're not off the hook about this kissing a woman thing. We'll talk about that later."

  The door closed with a loud snick.

  I groaned, and put my face in my hands.

  Great. Just great.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  I pushed the lit doorbell and waited nervously; shifting my feet and gripping the bottle of wine I carried tightly. The arched wooden door was carved with intricate Mexican designs, in keeping with house's white stucco and red-tiled roof that blended nicely with the abundant greenery surrounding it.

  The door rattled and I drew a deep breath, plastering what I hoped was a pleasant smile on my face. The heavy wood swung inward to reveal a tall, blonde-haired man with light blue eyes and a mega-watt smile, currently aimed at me.

  "Ms. Harris," he held out a large hand, "It's great to meet you. Josh Riley."

  Like I didn't know who he was.

  In photographs, Josh Riley was an attractive man, but in the flesh, he was quite a bit more than that. I felt an instant, visceral reaction, and had to squelch an urge to touch him to see if he was real.

  Good god. No wonder people followed these two around, wanting pictures.

  Slightly dazed, I t
ook his hand. "Caidence Harris. Please, call me Caid."

  His grip was strong without being overbearing.

  "Caid," he said, as though trying it out. He grinned. "And you should call me Josh."

  Before releasing my hand, he tugged me lightly through the door and closed it behind us.

  I held up the wine. "Robyn said not to bring anything, but my mother would kill me if I showed up empty handed."

  "Ah. Fully house trained. No wonder Robyn likes you." He took my hand again. "I'll let you deliver that yourself. Robby's just in the kitchen, I think."

  I let him pull me further into the house, slightly disconcerted by his complete disregard of the physical boundaries that normally existed between virtual strangers. He led me past a curving, stone stairway going up to our left, and down a wide hallway, our footsteps muffled by expensive-looking woven rugs that covered smooth tile floors.

  A railed landing at the end of the hall overlooked a huge, open living room with a two-story wall of glass offering a breathtaking view of Los Angeles at night.

  I stopped, pulling Josh to a halt as well. "Wow."

  "Nice, isn't it?" He tugged me towards a stairway. "You should see the view of the mountains in the daytime. That's really why she paid out the ass for this place."

  "I bet," I murmured, following Josh down the stairs, still gazing at the view.

  At the bottom of the steps, Josh paused, glancing around. "Robby? Your guest is here."

  "Caid." The husky voice affected me like a jolt of electricity and I dropped Josh's hand hastily, afraid my feelings could somehow be transferred by the contact. Robyn emerged from an arched doorway that led into a large kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel. "I'm so glad you could make it. Welcome."

  "Thanks," I said, unable to stop the large smile that spread across my face at the sight of her. Her long hair fell loose down her back; she wore a faded green t-shirt tucked into worn jeans and no shoes.

  This was by far my favorite view in the house.

  She answered my smile with one of her own, and we stood like that for several moments, until Josh moved towards the kitchen.

  "Where's my meat, woman? I'm starving."

  Robyn threw the towel over her shoulder and stopped him with a hand to his chest. "Uh-uh. Stay out of my kitchen, grill-boy." She turned him around and motioned towards a sliding glass door leading out onto a wide deck. "Go light the grill, and I'll bring it out to you."

  He pouted a little, but did as she asked, flashing me a quick grin as he walked by. Robyn watched him go with a fond smile, and motioned for me to follow her into the kitchen.

  "Want me to open that?" She motioned at the wine in my hand.

  "Oh. Not necessarily, unless you want to." I held it out to her, and she took it, glancing at the label and treating me to a raised eyebrow.

  It was a nice wine. At least it had better be, for what I paid for it.

  "I'll let you get away with it this time, but next time you come over, you really don't need to bring anything." She glanced at the label again. "I think we'll save this one for later. I've got a merlot open that I've been sipping on," she motioned to an opened bottle and half-full glass on the counter. "Or there's beer, soda…I think I've got some ice-tea made. Or a cocktail of some sort, if you'd rather."

  I nodded at the open bottle. "Some of that would be great, thanks."

  She picked up a foil-covered pan and handed it to me. "If you take this out to Josh, I'll bring you out a glass."

  "Hey," I said, taking the pan with a mock-pout. "No one told me I'd had to work for my dinner."

  "At least you've got the right shoes," she said with a smile. "Now shoo. I'll be out in a second."

  I wandered through the living room and out onto the deck, spotting Josh in a corner where the deck wrapped around the other side of the house, scrubbing vigorously at a monstrous grill with a wire brush.

  "Delivery for you." I walked over and set the pan down on a nearby table.

  "Oh, great!" He set down the brush and rubbed his hands together in anticipation before peeling the foil back to reveal three large steaks, a pile of chopped peppers, onions and zucchini, and a dish filled with marinade.

  "You are in for a treat. I don't know what magic sauce stuff Robyn puts on these steaks, but it's damn tasty."

  "It looks wonderful," I said, meaning it. My stomach grumbled in agreement.

  Josh and I chatted about the art of grilling until Robyn brought out our drinks, then the two of them proceeded to charm the hell out of me with their comfortable banter and obvious affection for each other. Josh told some hilarious stories about his life on tour and some of the other players, and Robyn countered with tales of her days as a model and a recent trip to the grocery store.

  By the time we sat down to dinner, my sides ached from laughing, and the three of us were giggling like teenagers. By the time dinner was through, I felt as comfortable with the two of them as I had with anyone in a long, long time.

  We all chipped in clearing the table and stacking the dishes in the kitchen, and then Josh announced that he needed to head home. That surprised me - I'd just assumed that this was home.

  "Amazing how you always mange to leave just when it's time to do dishes," Robyn said dryly, slapping him lightly on the stomach.

  "My timing is impeccable, isn't it?" He smiled charmingly and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. She leaned into him, resting her cheek on his chest, and threaded her arms around his waist. They stood like that for several long seconds, and I wanted to look away but couldn't. They were beautiful together.

  Finally he kissed her dark hair, murmuring, "Love you."

  "Love you too," she answered.

  They untangled themselves from each other with a final, private smile, and Josh turned to me, grinning hugely.

  "Caid," he took my hand and held it within both of his. "It's been a true pleasure to meet you. I hope I get to see a lot more of you."

  "Me too," I said, and meant it. I stepped forward to kiss him on the cheek.

  He was surprised, but pleased, and bent his head in an endearing display of bashfulness.

  Well, if Robyn wasn't going to fall madly in love with me, I supposed she could do a lot worse.

  "I'll walk you out," Robyn said, and glanced over at me. "Be right back."

  I nodded and headed into the kitchen, secretly relieved to miss their final good-byes, which would no doubt be steamier than the chaste, almost sisterly one I had witnessed.

  I could hear the low murmur of voices, and Josh's laughter, followed by Robyn's. Then the door closed and Robyn's bare feet padded back down the stairs.

  I started rinsing off plates, stacking them by the side of the sink. Robyn came in and pulled out what I had assumed was a cupboard, but turned out to be a dishwasher.

  "Clever," I noted, and started setting the plates inside while Robyn moved next to me at the sink and took over my rinsing job, handing me dishes as she finished. We were finished within five minutes, and I wiped my hands on a towel, chewing on the inside of my cheek. Robyn had been silent since she came back into the kitchen. That was probably my cue to leave.

  "Well," I said, and smiled brightly, "I guess I'd better head out, too. Thanks so much for dinner…it was delicious. And Josh is a sweetheart. You're very lucky."

  And he's the luckiest person on this planet.

  She picked up her wine glass and swirled what was left, smiling the fond smile that I'd begun to associate with Josh.

  "Yes, I'm very lucky to have Josh in my life. He's the best friend I could ever ask for." She looked over at me, hesitated, and continued. "Do you need to go home? Or can you stay for a while?"

  I corralled my giddiness, fighting down the urge to grin like a maniac. "I can stay."

  "Great." Her happy smile, showing even, white teeth and crinkling the corners of her eyes just a little, brought on another one of those breathless moments that I'd labeled 'Robyn Rush'. I looked down at the towel in my hands and took
a few steadying breaths.

  She poured us both another glass of wine, handed me mine and grabbed my hand. "Come on."

  I wondered if this habit of dragging people around by the hand was one she'd picked up from Josh, or if he'd picked it up from her. Either way, I wasn't complaining, enjoying the casual contact as she led me up the stairs and along the hall towards the front door, then up the curving stairway I'd noticed when I first came in.