And Playing the Role of Herself...

by K E Lane

  The whistles and cheers from the crowd were raucous. I smiled to myself. And people thought little 'ol me could seduce Josh Riley away from this woman.

  How completely and utterly ridiculous.

  Brandon moved from behind his desk and greeted Robyn with a one-armed hug and a light kiss on the cheek. She smiled as he said something into her ear, but her eyes were on me; hesitant and shy, full of guarded pleasure.

  I couldn't help myself - I smiled.

  Yes, she'd left me alone without a word that morning.

  Yes, I was angry.

  Yes, every damn thing she did seemed to confuse me more.

  But I couldn't help myself.

  I smiled, and admitted that despite everything, it was very good to see her.

  She stepped around Brandon and grasped my hands in hers, brushing cool lips across my cheek. "Surprise," she said softly as the audience continued to noisily voice their approval.

  I let out a short, soft laugh with no humor and kept my voice low and even. "Think you might stick around after this one, and not run off like last night?" I felt her stiffen and start to pull back, but I held on tightly. "Nevermind…it's good to see you." I kissed her cheek and squeezed her hands, leaning in until my mouth almost touched her ear. "You look incredible."

  I felt a tremor in her hands and pulled back, releasing her. She gave me a tiny smile that spoke volumes and then turned to the still rowdy audience and waved, her professional smile back in place.

  I moved over a seat and Robyn sat down in the chair I'd just vacated. The crowd finally quieted, although there were occasional whistles and yells, and a loud "I love you Robyn!"

  "I love you too," she said with a grin and crossed her legs, showing enough thigh to set off another round of shouts and whistles. I willed myself not to stare at the exposed skin that was close enough to touch, and instead focused my attention on Brandon.

  He smiled and sat back in his chair, obviously pleased with the reaction his surprise had gotten from the crowd.

  "Hiya, Robyn," he said when the crowd quieted again.

  "Hiya, Brandon," she replied with obvious fondness. She pushed a strand of long, loose hair behind her ear.

  "I've just been chatting with your co-star here…she's got some good things to say about you."

  Robyn looked over at me and smiled. "I heard, and I'm completely flattered. I'm the lucky one to get to work with Caidence on this…"

  The three of us chatted back and forth for another ten minutes, hitting all sorts of topics that seemed natural but that I quickly realized were carefully chosen to create opportunities for Robyn to mention thinks like "Caid and I did this," or "Josh, Caid and I did that," subtly but determinedly emphasizing the friendship between the three of us, and her obvious trust in Josh and I as friends without coming right out and saying Josh and I weren't sleeping together.

  Nothing gets people's curiosity up quicker than a good denial…Robyn and Liz must have read the same handbook of how to handle the media. I needed to get myself a copy of that book sometime soon. Wonder if they sold it on Amazon.

  Just before the second commercial break, Brandon wrapped up the interview, thanking us both and announcing his next guest. As soon as someone yelled, "And…we're clear. Three minutes!" we all stood, and Robyn gave Brandon a warm hug.

  "Thanks, pal - I owe ya." She touched him gently on the arm.

  He grinned. "No problem, beautiful. Always great to see you, and my boss is loving me right now. Can you stay a bit after the show?"

  She shook her head and glanced at her watch. "I'm going to be cutting it close as it is…sorry. I'll see you at the Open, though, right?"

  "Wouldn't miss it." He turned to me and shook my hand. "Caidence, it was so nice meeting you. I enjoyed talking with you."

  "You too, Brandon," I nodded and smiled.

  He looked behind us with a frown, and waved a young woman over. "Sorry to dash, but Mike is waving frantically and I'd better go see what's up. Sherri will show you back to your dressing rooms."

  He gave Robyn another quick peck and left, and we followed the fast-moving assistant backstage.

  "Miss Harris, this is you," she gestured at a door. "Miss Ward, you're down this way…"

  "Thanks, Sherri, I can find it." Robyn interrupted with a courteous smile. After a second of hesitation, Sherri nodded and hurried off down the hall.

  I pushed open the door to my dressing room and stood aside to let Robyn in before closing it behind us. She immediately moved towards me, but I held up my hands and backed away.

  "No-no-no." I pointed to the other side of the room. "You stay over there - I can't be pissed at you when you touch me, and I need to be pissed at you right now."

  A look of hurt confusion passed over her face and her brow furrowed. "Caid, why are you so angry with me? I thought…last night we were so close…"

  "And then this morning, after all that closeness," I said sarcastically, "I woke up alone."

  She blinked at my tone. "Caid, I'm sorry about this morning...I had a string of interviews, and had to get back to change. I didn't realize it would upset you so much. I was on my way to the airport when I finally got your message this afternoon, and you sounded so angry…That's when I called up Brandon and asked to get on the show - I wanted to talk with you before I left."

  "Why couldn't you have just told me that?" I asked in frustration, shaking my head. "You couldn't just tell me that you had interviews, and that you would have to leave in the morning?"

  She looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "And when exactly was I supposed to tell you that, Caid? We weren't doing much talking last night, if you remember correctly…"

  "I remember," I said quietly. "And I also remember waking up alone this morning."

  "And I'm sorry about that, truly I am." She took a step towards me. "I wanted to stay this morning, more than anything, but I had those damn interviews. You didn't seem to mind when I said goodbye, and I told you in the note why I had to go…"

  "Whoa, whoa…wait. Told me goodbye?"

  She looked at me strangely. "You don't remember? I know you were a little out of it, but I thought you were awake…you mumbled something about me smelling good, said goodbye, and smiled when I kissed you…"

  Shit.

  On more than one occasion when I was with Toby, he'd said he kissed me goodbye in the morning and I'd responded, and had no recollection of it after.

  "And the note?" I asked hesitantly. "You left a note?"

  She gave me another strange look. "Of course I left a note. Didn't they deliver breakfast this morning? I wanted to be there when you woke up, but I figured that since I couldn't be, I'd try to start your day out with something nice…"

  "The note was with breakfast?" I asked in a small voice, remembering the uniformed waiter practically sprinting down the hall to get away from the crazy, pissed-off lady in 7210.

  "Well, yeah." She smiled sheepishly. "I know - kind of corny, right? It seemed - I don't know - sweet and kind of romantic at three in the morning, but…"

  I rubbed my forehead with my palm and shook my head. "Jesus Christ. I'm an idiot."

  "What…"

  "I never got the note," I told her softly. "I thought you didn't leave one. And I don't remember you saying goodbye. I thought you'd just…gone."

  She frowned. "Come on, Caid, you can't believe I'd do that…" she looked at me for a moment, and read the truth. She shook her head sadly. "But you did, didn't you? You really thought I'd do that to you." She took a few steps across the small room and studied a framed poster on the wall, hugging her arms to her body defensively. "Nice to know you think so highly of me."

  Shit. I ran a frustrated hand through my hair. Shit, shit, shit. What was it with the two of us? If it wasn't one of us letting our fears and insecurities get in the way, it was the other.

  I walked over to her and after a moment's hesitation, put my arms around her from behind and rested my chin on her shoulder. "I'm the idiot this time," I whisp
ered. "I'm sorry."

  She was unyielding for several moments, but eventually relaxed against me and shook her head. "We're both idiots." She let out a short, cynical laugh. "I don't know why I got so offended. You had good reason to believe I'd just leave. Lord knows I've done it in the past - many, many times."

  Ouch. Was it really necessary to add the second 'many'? Wouldn't one have sufficed?

  Feeling me stiffen reflexively, she turned in my embrace and put her arms around my neck, running her fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck, waiting until I met her gaze. "The keyword is past, Caid. You and I…" She looked away from my face to where her fingers played in my hair. "This thing between us, it happened so quickly and then I had the film shoot, and we never got the chance to talk about anything. About expectations, what we wanted out of it…anything." Her eyes came back to mine. "You have to know that I want you, Caid. That physically," she placed a hand on the side of my face, stroking gently with her thumb, "you make me so crazy I can't think. But I also want you to know that I honestly care about you. You're my friend, and I respect you so much - I would never purposely hurt you. We haven't had much time together, and my track record isn't so great, but I hope you believe that."

  So…we're friends with benefits?

  I knew that wasn't what she was trying to get at, but my mind couldn't help but get stuck on it. I didn't want to be her fuckbuddy, I wanted to be her…everything.

  Great. I was quoting Andy Gibb songs. That couldn't be a good sign.

  I forced a smile that I hoped wasn't tinged with disappointment. "I do believe you. I know you care about me…as a friend, Robyn, and you'd never purposely try to hurt me. I'm sorry I doubted that."

  She frowned. "That's not exactly what I meant, Caid…of course I care about you as a friend, but…"

  "Miss Harris?" Sherri's voice and tentative knock on the door interrupted, and we both jumped a little. Robyn made a cute little noise of frustration as we reluctantly pulled apart.

  I smiled. "I guess this isn't the best place to be having this conversation anyway, is it?"

  She glanced around and shook her head. "No, I don't suppose it is."

  Another knock came and I walked to the door and opened it. "Yes?"

  "Hello Miss Harris, sorry to bother you, but do you know where Miss Ward went? There's a driver here waiting for her, and she's not in her dressing room…" her voice trailed off as Robyn stepped up behind me. "Oh, Miss Ward. There you are. Your driver…"

  Robyn nodded. "Is waiting for me, yes, thank you Sherri. Can you tell him I'll just be a moment? Maybe you can let him grab a sandwich or something from the green room? I'll find him there."

  She nodded, and rushed off in what seemed like the only other speed she possessed besides 'stop'.

  I closed the door again and turned, and the two of us stared at each other for several seconds.

  "Damn," she said finally, pushing her hair behind her ear. "I wish I didn't have to go. I feel like we're leaving things hanging." She chewed on her lip. "Are we okay?"

  I pulled her into a hug, running my hands up and down her back and kissed her hair. "Yes, we're okay."

  We stood in each other's arms for nearly a minute, and finally I kissed her lightly on the neck below her ear and pulled away. "I know you want to concentrate on filming, but do you think we could at least talk on the phone a little more often? I think…"

  She quieted me with two long fingers against my lips. "Yes. Definitely. Trying to keep myself from thinking about you isn't working anyway. I'll call you when I get back tonight."

  "I'll probably be in the air…"

  "Tomorrow then, after filming?"

  "Any time…I'll take what I can get."

  She leaned forward and kissed me lightly on the mouth. "I'll talk to you soon, then. And Caid, thank you for last night. I needed to reconnect, to feel you…"

  I smiled. "I needed it too, and I enjoyed every second." I took her face in my hands and kissed her, slowly and deliberately, before pulling away and waiting until her eyes fluttered open. "But next time, I don't want to rush, and I don't want to wake up alone."

  She smiled softly. "You got it."

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  I leaned out of my car and pressed the buzzer to the intercom outside Liz's gated estate in Beverly Hills, pulling back and saluting the camera mounted above the intercom.

  "Good afternoon, Miss Harris," came a disembodied voice that I recognized as Risa, Liz's housekeeper.

  "Afternoon, Risa. Is Liz in? I know she's not expecting me, but I'd like to see her if she's around."

  There was a long pause, while presumably Risa checked with Liz, and I glanced in my rear-view mirror, noting that the green sedan and orange, early model Volkswagen Beetle that had been tailing me most of the day were pulled up on the side of the road a safe distance behind me.

  "Persistent little buggars," I muttered, squinting behind me and hoping neither car would try to follow me through the gate.

  There was a loud click and the gate started creaking open. "Come on through, Miss Harris. Miss Stokely is most happy to see you."

  "Thanks…ah," I glanced in my mirror again, "Risa? I've got some paparazzi on my tail - I don't want them to follow me in…"

  "Don't worry, Miss Harris. Miss Stokley's lawyer made the last photographer who tried to sneak in very sorry…they won't follow you."

  I drove through and the gate closed behind me with a solid clang, leaving my lurking paparazzi friends on the other side. At times like these, I understood the attraction of a gated property. I had no such barrier around my house, and I'd been dealing with groups of photographers and reporters hanging around my yard, as well as the wrath of my neighbors at having their lives disrupted, since returning from New York four days before. The neighbors had all been thrilled when I first moved in, excited to have a TV star in the neighborhood, but the crowds of press generated by my disappearance, added to this recent group of campers, had changed their minds, and I'd been seriously considering relocating just to get them off my back.

  I pulled up in the circular drive and climbed the steps to Liz's door, pushing my sunglasses up on my head and shifting the bag I carried into the opposite hand. I rang the doorbell and in a few moments, Risa, her graying blond hair in its habitual severe bun, opened the door, smiling slightly.

  "Miss Harris, nice to see you. How was the trip?" She stepped back and gestured for me to enter.

  "Hi Risa." I smiled, and stepped past her. I reached into the bag and pulled out three eight by ten publicity stills of the anchors of the networks morning show, America AM. "Jane Lee, Ruben Halstrom, and Jim Yorn." I handed her the photos. "Oh, and this, too." I pulled out a rolled up t-shirt with the morning show's logo embroidered on the chest. "Lindsay Dole wasn't there, so I couldn't get all four…sorry."

  The small smile she'd given me at the door got noticeably bigger; a rare occurrence for the normally stoic woman. "Oh...thank you, Caidence." She took the items carefully, handling the stills with extra care.

  "You're welcome." I grinned, pleased at her reaction. The use of my first name meant I'd scored big points. "Where's the mistress of the house?"

  "She's in the atrium," she informed me, still looking at the pictures. I nodded and headed in that direction, frowning when she called out after me, "Careful of the dogs."

  I frowned. Dogs? Liz didn't have any dogs.

  Puzzling over her warning, I walked past the stairway and rounded the corner, letting out a girlish scream when two large, hairy, furiously barking bodies threw themselves against the sliding glass door that led into the glass walled atrium overlooking the immaculately kept back lawn.

  "What the fuck!" I leapt back, nearly dropping the bag I was carrying.

  "Bonnie! Clyde! Down!" Liz spoke firmly, rising from the couch where she'd been reading and walking to the door. The two slobbering creatures from hell immediately quieted and lay down, morphing into two attentive and almost harmless looking German Shepherds. />
  Liz slid the door open, her eyes glinting with amusement. "Hi. Now did I, or did I not just hear you scream?"

  "You did not." I scowl and stomped past her into the atrium, keeping a close eye on the two Shepherds in case they morphed back into the devil's spawn. "And whose dogs are these anyway? I thought you hated dogs."

  "I hate yappy dogs," she corrected. "I love big dogs. Don't I, Clyde?" she said in a baby-talk voice I'd not heard from her before. She leaned down to scratch one behind its ear, triggering vigorous tail wagging. "Did you make Caid scream, sweetie? Hmm?"