“You’re awake,” I said as relief flooded through my body, but I was also scared.
Victória didn’t know me and distrust showed in her eyes. She didn’t have old memories to fall back on. She was so young when they moved, four, maybe five, and I wasn’t around much. To her I was just a voice on the phone. She had no real memories of me. I wanted—no, scratch that—I needed to hear her voice.
Victória gave me but a moment’s glance. This hurt my feelings but I tried not to let it show on my face. I gained solace when she didn’t flinch from my touch. My children had reason to hate me. I needed for them to give me another chance to make things right. Her eyes connected longer with Verónica’s than they did with mine. She never spoke; I was worried that she wouldn’t speak. Her eyes went back to Verónica. I felt like I shouldn’t even have been in the room. Her look said she didn’t want to see me.
Verónica said, “Hey, sweetie, how are you feeling today?”
Victória looked at me again. She didn’t seem to care one way or another about me.
“Ramón? Where is he?” Her voice was hoarse and we could barely hear her.
Verónica shook her head and sat down on the bed with Victória. I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t sure if I should move closer to the bed or leave the room. Victória didn’t help me because she never acknowledged me. I tried not to take it personally.
I said, “There’s something that I—no, we—need to tell you, and it’s not going to be easy.”
Victória looked at me again. Her eyes became hard like two small pebbles. Verónica caught the exchange and helped me out.
“I know you don’t remember him and I’m sure this is going to come as a surprise, but this is our real father.”
If Victória was shocked by this bit of information, she didn’t let it show. She continued to stare at Verónica like she was the only person in the room.
I said, “Hi, I ... uh—”
Victória help up a hand in front of my face. “Where’s Ramón?” she asked again.
“I think you should call the nurse and let them know that she woke up.” My heart started beating faster.
“Good idea.” Verónica jumped off the bed and practically ran out of the room.
“Sweetheart, I’m so happy to see that you are doing better.”
She continued to stare at me as she tried to pull away from my touch. I refused to let go. I knew this was going to be my only chance to win her over. If I didn’t do it now, I might never get another opportunity.
“Where’s my brother?” She stretched her words, showing anger with each syllable. Her lips were clenched as she looked straight ahead, refusing to meet my eyes.
“Victória, I don’t think you should be getting upset.”
She pushed my hand off her arm with an energy and strength I didn’t know she possessed. I didn’t know what to do. As much as I wanted to hug and hold her, I was sure it wouldn’t be a good idea. I frantically looked around, wishing Verónica would come back.
“Don’t you dare tell me what I should and shouldn’t do. Who the fuck are you?” she screamed at the top of her lungs.
Tears were flowing freely from both of our faces. I never meant to inflict such pain on my children. What bothered me more than anything was the fact that I’d probably never get them to understand what motivated their mother and me to make the decisions we did. “Victória,” I said a little more sternly.
She turned to me with a look that could only be described as hatred. “Where’s my fucking brother, and who the fuck said you could come in my room?”
I couldn’t take it anymore. I started backing out. The nurse burst in and immediately took control. She told me to step out into the hallway while she examined Victória. I was grateful for a reason to escape. I was shaken to the core and felt so helpless to do anything.
“Are you okay?” Verónica asked as she placed a hand on my shoulder.
I needed her touch. More than anything, I needed a hug. “Oh God, I’m so sorry.” I wasn’t talking to anyone in particular, but I had to say it just in case. I knew seeing her would be difficult, but never in a million years could I have imagined how bad it was going to be.
“Do you want to sit down?”
“Stop fussing over me. I’m fine.” I immediately regretted taking my frustration out on Verónica. Obviously hurt, she withdrew her hand.
“Sweetheart, no, I’m sorry. That didn’t sound quite the way I intended it to. I just meant that I don’t want you making a big deal about what you saw earlier. I’m fine ... really I am; it doesn’t happen often. I am stressed and that doesn’t help the situation. You have to understand that—”
“You can go in now. I’ve given her a shot so she can rest. Please don’t stay long,” the nurse instructed as she exited the room.
I understood the warning in her voice. Verónica went in first and I reluctantly followed. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy coming back into their lives, but damn, I never expected this.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
MOSES RAMSEY
The baby and I were sitting in the living room when Verónica came home from the hospital. I could tell she’d been crying so I assumed it had something to do with her sister. I had not gotten the chance to go to the hospital to visit Victória yet. It was something I needed to do, but I wanted my visit to be kept a secret.
“Hey.” She put her purse down on the sofa and stared at the television.
I was surprised she didn’t make a beeline for the baby, but I didn’t think she even realized that I was holding him. “Where’s your father?”
“Said he wanted to be by himself.” Verónica wasn’t being very talkative, which was highly unusual for her.
“How’d it go?”
“Bad.”
I waited for her to elaborate, but she just stared at the television like she was watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I might have thought so, too, if it weren’t football. Verónica hated football.
“Is your sister okay?”
She tore her eyes from the television and stared at me like I’d said the dumbest shit on the planet. “Would you be okay if you found out that everything your parents had ever told you in life was a fucking lie?”
“Is that a rhetorical question?” I could have confessed to my own deception while the door was wide open, but I punked out.
“Seriously, they lied about everything.”
What was I to say? I was just as guilty. “Stay here, we need to talk.” I went upstairs and put M down for what I hoped to be the night. It felt good taking care of him, watching our first game together, and being responsible. I hoped that what I was about to tell Verónica wouldn’t change our future together. I poured both of us a double shot of rum on the rocks before I returned to the living room. Verónica was still staring at the TV as if she really understood what she was watching.
I turned it off. “Here, you’re going to need this.”
“Oh, shit. If this is more true confessions, I’ve had enough today.”
“I understand. But there is something I need to get off my chest, and it’s best you hear it now rather than later.”
“Is it going to be bad?” Tears started leaking from her eyes.
I didn’t want to hurt her, but I was ready to start the healing process. “Your meeting me wasn’t by chance.”
“Excuse me?” She put her drink down on the table without touching a drop.
I drained my glass and reached for hers. If she wasn’t going to drink it, there was no sense in letting aged rum go to waste. “Now don’t go getting all upset and shit, it’s not as bad as it sounds. Your Uncle Monte, posing as your father, hired me to follow your mother. He believed she was having an affair but I never confirmed it. The only reason I am telling you this now is because I’m tired of keeping it inside. I want us to build a solid foundation together, and it can’t be done if it starts out on a broken slab.”
She sat back, despondent. I could tell she was a little leer
y. She looked like she was about to bolt from the room at any moment.
“One day I followed you.”
She gasped and started to get up, but I stopped her.
“Honey, wait. Before you start jumping to conclusions and shit, let me finish.”
She sat back down with her arms folded across her chest.
“You were looking for a job and I created one just for you.” I hung my head. This conversation was going to go one way or the other. She was either going to be flattered that I put so much energy into meeting her, or she was going to flip the fuck out about the invasion of her privacy. I braced myself for her reaction.
She started watching the television again. Only problem, though, was it wasn’t on. Damn, I didn’t anticipate silence. Silence was a motherfucker because folks started confessing to shit they didn’t even do just to fill the void. I was not about to get tricked into that shit so I waited her out.
“Can you fix me another drink?” she said and nibbled her bottom lip.
Perfect. She must have read my mind. I went to the bar and grabbed the entire bottle, hoping we didn’t need it. After Verónica drank what I would have easily called a triple, she was ready to start talking.
“So, was my mother cheating?” She filled her glass again.
I was relieved she wasn’t focused on my deception. I wiped my sweaty brow and tried to keep the smile of satisfaction off my face. “Not that I could tell. Whenever she left the house, she was with Ramón.”
Verónica nodded her head but she wasn’t finished. “What else?”
“Huh?” If she was requesting something specific, she was going to have to spell it out for me because I was not about to start confessing all willy-nilly.
She poured another drink, and I began to worry things wouldn’t turn out as planned. Even though this marriage started with deep deception, I really did want my marriage to work. I only had to remind myself of how I felt the day I found out she was having a baby, and I knew that I wanted what my mother and father had, and I believed I could get it with Verónica. I reached out to put my arm around her shoulders, but she pulled away.
“Were you a part of the scam my uncle pulled on my family?”
I was outraged. I did some fucked up shit ... but that other shit with your uncle, I didn’t even see it coming. “Hell no! I didn’t know the man like that. He fooled all of us.”
“How am I supposed to believe you?” She was on a slow boil—the alcohol contributed to the heat.
“Seriously? Are you fucking serious? Honestly, you should be flattered I went the extra mile just to meet you.”
“Flattered? Are you high?” Her voice reached a high-pitched squeal, which grated on my nerves.
“Honey, calm down. You will wake the baby.”
She jerked away from me again.
“Don’t you see I couldn’t say anything to you because I couldn’t explain why I was watching your house? So I kept watching the house—and you—while collecting a check from the person I thought was Carlos Mendoza for absolutely nothing. One day I decided I had enough of the charade. Instead of watching out for Mrs. Mendoza, I followed you to the unemployment office.”
She still didn’t say anything, so my stupid ass kept on talking. “I went back to my office feeling excited. I was about to take matters into my own hands. I sat down at my desk and composed an ad to appear in the paper for an office assistant. See, I had no idea what your skill level was and, to be honest, I didn’t give a damn. It took a month before you finally took the bait and came in for an interview.” I sat back, confidently smug about the way I explained my actions.
“Is any of that supposed to make me feel better? I feel violated.”
“Honey, don’t ... I’ll admit it was a fucked-up situation. But when I saw you, I was already in. There was no way I could change it, and I didn’t want to lose the opportunity to get to know you. I’m a private investigator. It’s what I do, but I never expected to fall in love with you. That was never part of my plan.” I reached for her again, but she still moved away from me.
She poured herself another drink, and I was still working on mine.
“Are you finished with true confessions?” She was mean-spirited and sarcastic, but I could understand it.
I ignored her apparent attitude. I’d probably feel the same way if the shoe were on the other foot. “I turned down so many applicants waiting for you to come through the door. I didn’t even care if you knew how to turn a computer on, let alone use it.” I started laughing but she didn’t join in. “I wanted to get to know you. My heart practically skipped a beat when you walked into the office. Remember, I didn’t have a receptionist, so you walked up to my door and knocked. This was the closest I’d been to you, and you were even more beautiful up close than you were from a distance.
“My dick was hard as a rock, just smelling your perfume. You broke my heart when you told me you were married. It felt like you’d thrown a bucket of ice-cold water on me. I felt so dumb. I’d spent so much time watching the family, it never even dawned on me to follow you home. I just assumed you were single.”
“So why did you give me the job?”
“I convinced myself that you were off-limits. As far as I was concerned, you had AIDS and therefore were untouchable.”
Verónica shot me a dirty look, shaking her head, but she didn’t look as mad as she originally had. “You should have told me the truth.”
“You’re right and I have to admit it was hard. When you told me you were married, I almost told you the job was filled but I was caught. If I said no, you could have sued the shit out of me for marital discrimination or something stupid like that.” I was lying through my teeth, and I was mad at myself for not being more thorough in my investigation. I began to second-guess myself as to what else I’d missed.
“So, no regrets?” She was clearly drunk, swaying to music that didn’t exist.
“Uh ... of course not.” In reality I was full of regrets, but I was stuck like chuck. I was going to have to spend at least eight hours a day with a woman who I was deeply attracted to. My gut told me that this was going to be very hard to deal with. Despite my fears I was still excited about getting to know this exotic creature who stood before me. Perhaps if I listened more to my gut instinct instead of my dick, things wouldn’t have turned out as badly as they had.
“Hey, I wasn’t going to sleep with you. That’s not why I hired you. I just wanted to be around you. I promise.”
“But you fucked me anyway.”
“That was your idea, remember? You came on to me.” Damn, I didn’t mean to say that out loud. It didn’t quite sound the way that it happened.
“Ouch, I thought we came on to each other.”
I’d hurt her feelings. Shit, I didn’t want to waste time talking. With the baby and her father, Verónica and I had so little time alone. I was missing my wife. “Damn, baby, I didn’t mean it like that. All I’m trying to tell you is that I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. I had to have you, and I’m so happy to have you as my wife.”
She looked as if she didn’t believe me, but one kiss ended any further discussion.
CHAPTER TWENTY
CARLOS MENDOZA
“Verónica, how well do you know this man you are married to?” I wanted to confess to my involvement with him. There had been so many lies and so much deceit flowing through our family, I just wanted to pump the brakes. If only for a little while.
“Padre, Moses has been wonderful to me and Ramón. He’s my best friend and he loves me and the baby.”
Her face was animated, and I could see the love in her eyes. Her mother used to look at me like that before our sons were killed. I felt a pang of regret for all that could have been but could be no more.
I found her eyes with mine. “I hear what you are saying, but how much do you know about him? Have you met his family?”
“Well ... no, I haven’t met them yet. We’ve only been married for a few months and it wa
s a spur-of-the-moment wedding. Besides, his parents live out of state. I’m sure once Moses calls them and lets them know that we exist, either they will come see us or we will go visit them.”
“He hasn’t even told them?”
“To be honest, I don’t know. We’ve never discussed it.”
I didn’t like the sound of it. Regardless of the timing of the marriage, if Moses had legitimately good intentions toward my daughter and her child, he would’ve contacted his family by now. I could understand that it might have been difficult for him to accept a child who wasn’t his, but from my understanding, he knew this before he married my daughter.
“He should have told them by now.” I was heated and ready to confront him myself.
“No, Padre, there really hasn’t been any time. With what is going on with Victória, telling anyone really had slipped my mind.”
I wasn’t sure I believed her. We were sitting in the living room after Moses came into the house and went directly to his office. “I’m not trying to bring trouble into your home, but I would be lying if I said this doesn’t concern me.” I could see the worry lines on her face and could tell I had planted little seeds of doubt in her mind. That was good—it was what I intended to do. As far as I was concerned, he should have told the world he was married to my child and the fact that he didn’t even tell his family worried me.
Regardless of how good things appeared on the surface, I didn’t trust Moses. I felt like he was in this deeper than he let on. I was determined to find out what his involvement was. I wanted to confront him but I also knew that he wouldn’t tell me the truth. The fact that he wasn’t the first person to call me when all of this was going down told me he couldn’t be trusted.
I was no longer living with my daughter but I visited every day. I had moved back into our old house. I could not believe that my brother had the nerve to put it up for sale, but I managed to stop the proceedings. I was waiting for Victória to get well enough so I could show them what was hidden inside.
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