CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
VICTÓRIA MENDOZA
Verónica walked into my hospital room with a bundle of flowers.
“What the fuck is going on, Verónica? I feel like I’ve been on some other planet and the whole world has marched forward without me.”
“I know, sweetie. Things have been so crazy. Once you’re better, I will explain everything that I know.”
“No, I’m not waiting ’til then. I need to know now.” It wasn’t often that I pressed my older sister to do something she didn’t want to do, but I was tired of being in the dark. I felt like I had been asleep for a decade instead of the last two months.
“Sweetie, calm down. This can’t be good for your condition.”
“My condition? What the hell is my condition? Why am I in this hospital in the first place?”
“Tilo shot you.” Verónica looked like she wanted to swallow her tongue.
“Huh? Why?” I couldn’t breathe. I felt like someone was choking me. I knew something was wrong but I had no idea it was this bad.
“How much do you remember?” She set the flowers on my bedside table.
“Huh?” I couldn’t concentrate on what Verónica was saying to me. She must have been mistaken. There was no way Tilo could have tried to kill me. Why? She loved me. I started crying; there had to be some mistake. Nothing was making sense.
“Victória, should I get the nurse? Are you in pain?”
Yes, I was in pain but not from my injuries. My heart was the source of my pain, but I couldn’t speak about it now. I needed time to wrap my arms around what Verónica had just said. “I’m fine but my head hurts.” I didn’t want to talk anymore. I turned over on my side. My head wound wasn’t as sensitive, so I was able to lie on my side.
“Okay, boo, I’m going to let you get some sleep. The doctors said you can go home tomorrow.”
Home, what did I have to go home to? Everything I cared about was gone, except for Ramón.
“Ramón, where is he?” I sat up again as I was starting putting two and two together. I remembered Ramón being in the house with me.
Verónica pulled me into her arms and rubbed my hair away from my face. “He’s gone, honey. Tilo shot him too, but he didn’t make it. They said he died instantly, so he didn’t suffer.”
I pushed away from my sister. This was too much to take. Ramón wouldn’t have even known who Tilo was if I hadn’t introduced them. “Oh God, no!” I screamed, but in my heart I knew it to be true. It had to be because it hurt too badly for it not to be. I felt like someone had placed a humongous stone on top of my chest and it was pressing down on me. Verónica held me so tightly I felt faint.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Verónica chanted.
She lied. How was anything ever going to be okay? Ramón hadn’t even had a chance to live his life and he was dead because of me. I wanted to be alone. I needed to be alone. “Leave.” My voice was muffled against Verónica’s shirt.
“What did you say?”
“Leave. Please.” I pushed away from my sister. I understood her desire to comfort me, but I couldn’t handle it right now. I needed to be by myself.
“I don’t think I should—”
“Go, dammit!” I tried it the nice way but it didn’t work. If yelling at her was the only way that I could get her the fuck out of my room, so be it. “Go now, please,” I whispered.
She jumped up from my bed and walked reluctantly toward the door. She was visibly upset by my outburst, but at the moment, I couldn’t care less for her feelings. I had to get a handle on my own feelings before I did something I would probably regret.
“I’ll be back in the morning to pick up you. If you need anything before then, call me,” she said as she quietly closed the door behind her.
I summoned the nurse.
“Yes, may I help you?” the nurse said through an intercom system.
“My head is hurting. Can you give me something for the pain so I can sleep?”
“Sure, let me check your chart and someone will be there shortly.”
My head was hurting, but not enough to require drugs. I wanted them to escape reality. I didn’t want to think about what my sister told me. It was hard enough thinking about Tilo trying to kill me, but she took things to another level when she killed my brother.
“That bitch had better run ’cause when I find her, her ass is mine!” I meant that shit. I was going to find that lying bitch and when I did it was not going to be pretty.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
VERÓNICA RAMSEY
I cried all the way home from the hospital. I felt like I’d failed my younger sister and brother. Even though I had nothing to do with the madness that caused Ramón’s demise and her attempted murder, I still felt responsible because I was the eldest. I pulled into my driveway with a heavy heart. I didn’t want to go in the house. Behind those doors I had to be Supermom. I had to have everything under control. And today I just didn’t damn feel like it. I sat out in the car until it grew too warm inside for me to stay any longer. I walked toward the door with leaden footsteps because I didn’t know if I could carry out my charade today.
“How is she?” Padre asked as he handed me my sleeping son.
I wanted to chastise him because I knew that he probably held LM the entire time I’d been gone. I understood his protective nature, but he made it difficult for me when I was home alone and trying to do other things.
“Have you been holding him the entire time?” I tried to keep the censure from my voice, but I was sure he could detect my irritation.
“No, I just fed him and he fell asleep.”
My father was a liar and the truth was not in him, but I didn’t want to fight. I wanted to lie down and sleep myself. I carried LM to his crib and fell across the bed, hoping for at least an hour or two of uninterrupted sleep. LM was finally sleeping through the night, but this latest round with Victória was weighing heavily on my mind. I never had a close girlfriend. Victória was the only friend I ever had. That was another reason why it was so difficult for me to see her in the hospital. It was nothing short of a miracle that she was going to be released tomorrow. Physically she was okay, but I wasn’t sure how she was doing mentally. I was waiting for her to show some sign of emotion, but every time she got to that point, she sent me away.
Padre came to the doorway and knocked softly. “Unless you need me to stick around, I’m going to head on home.”
“Sit with me for a moment please.”
He looked a little unsure but he came into the room and sat down on my bed.
“I told Victória about Ramón.”
He lowered his head. We had many conversations about when we’d tell her.
“I wanted to be there when you did. Is she okay?”
“She’s as okay as she can be under the circumstances. I wanted to wait until you were around, but the timing was right. She wanted to know what happened to her, so I told her.”
“Do you think she remembers anything?”
“She might. It’s so hard trying to read her mind. She keeps so many of her emotions inside. It’s hard to tell.”
“Your mother was just like that.”
“She was? She didn’t seem to have a problem expressing her emotions to me.” I laughed as I rubbed my butt. I had my share of whippings, so if she held something back, I’d hate to see it.
“Trust me, she held a lot back. I see your mother in both of you.”
“Oh, yeah? What do you see in me?” I was enjoying this conversation. This was the first time that I’d sat down with him and didn’t feel like pointing fingers at him.
“You got her diplomatic side. She was about harmony and balance.”
We sat in silence for a few seconds as I absorbed his words.
“I knew she needed help, but I was too selfish to come.”
I looked up, surprised by the way the conversation changed. “Padre, I was with her most of my life, she never said she was unhappy.”
“Don’t you see, that’s how she was. I knew her well enough to know what she wasn’t saying.”
“Moses said Monte hired him because he thought Madre was having an affair.”
Padre quickly inhaled but he blew the air out just as rapidly. “To be honest, in all the years we were together, I never entertained that thought.”
“Did you care?”
He didn’t answer. For a moment I thought he was going to ignore the question.
“Our relationship was complicated. Your mother didn’t love me. She respected me, but she didn’t love me. There is a big difference.”
“Why did y’all stay together so long?”
“We didn’t know any better. It wasn’t like that for us coming up with the choices you have here in America. Our marriage was arranged ... and for me, I never thought about doing anything else than what I was told to do.”
Wow, I wasn’t expecting this type of honesty from him. I expected him to paint this rosy picture, especially since my mother wasn’t there to dispute anything he said.
“Regrets?”
He didn’t hesitate to answer this one. “Plenty. My biggest regret is that I didn’t come home sooner. I could’ve, there was nothing holding me in Colombia. My parents were gone. But I think I was afraid, too much time had passed.”
“Did Uncle Monte have a family?” I was curious about the man who lived in our house but rarely showed any kindness toward me.
“His wife died before they had children, so no. I was his only family.”
“Wow, maybe he was jealous of you. You had five children. You had sons.”
He shook his head in the affirmative. “We’ll never know.”
He was right, we wouldn’t.
“In case you’re wondering, Moses said he never found any evidence of an affair.” I saw him smile before I drifted off to sleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
VICTÓRIA MENDOZA
I was facing the door when it opened. I was relieved he got there in time. “Thanks for coming on such short notice.” I attempted to sit up straight as I raised my bed.
“Not a problem. I’ve been meaning to come, but I wanted to make sure you were up for visitors.” Moses stood at the foot of my bed.
“Where’s Verónica?”
“She’s home with the baby. She said she was coming to get you tomorrow around twelve.”
“Good.” I nodded my head. I wasn’t sure how to start my conversation with my sister’s husband. He was a virtual stranger to me. The only things I knew about him were the things my sister told me. My brother Ramón worked for Moses for a while and idolized him, and this meant a lot to me.
“How much do you remember?” Moses made it easy on me by cutting directly to the chase.
“Pretty much everything, I think. I needed to speak with you to help me fill in the gaps.” I was partially truthful. I did have a few holes in my memory, but more than anything I wanted to know if he knew Tilo and I were lovers. If he didn’t know, it was a secret I was prepared to take to my grave.
He took a seat in the only chair in the room and pulled it up close to my bed. He really was a handsome man. He reminded me of LL Cool J, only younger.
I said, “How is it that you came to know Tilo? I remember her saying something about you being her boss.”
“It’s kind of a long story. The short version is she was looking for you. Apparently you hadn’t shown up for work for several days and would not answer your phone. I was dropping off Ramón and she followed me. I busted her following me and she starting filling me in on what she thought was going on in the house.”
“Is that all?”
“She thought all of you were in danger. Ramón confirmed it, so I got involved.”
He still wasn’t answering my question.
“So you hired her? I still don’t understand how all that came about.”
“Like I said, it’s complicated, but our relationship was strictly professional.”
He knew, I could tell by the way he answered the question. Now I needed to find out if he had shared that information with my sister. I took a moment to think about how to phrase my next question.
“I think you should know that your father has asked me to find Tilo; however, your sister is totally against it, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention it to her. She would like to let sleeping dogs lie.”
“And?” I was nervous but I tried not to let it show.
“I’m gonna find the bitch.”
“Perfect. I want in for personal reasons.”
“I was hoping you would say that. So far I haven’t been able to find out anything about her. Her FBI records are sealed. They believe she’s dead and refuse to allow me access to her files. They wouldn’t even tell me what she was working on.”
“I still can’t believe she was an FBI agent. If she was working on a case, it was obviously dealing with my family. My guess is that she wanted the bonds that Ramón got from Madre’s safe-deposit box.”
“That’s a safe assumption, but I don’t think that was the reason. Call it intuition or call it superstition, but I think it goes deeper than the bonds. If you want my opinion, the bonds were an added bonus. I think she was looking for something else,” he said.
“This shit is crazy. Tilo never appeared to be that type of person. Shit, she was scared of her own shadow.” My heart felt like it was breaking into little pieces. Tilo was the only person I’d allowed into my personal space, into my heart, and she deceived me. Suddenly, I didn’t want to talk anymore. I didn’t want to know any more details of what had happened to me. “Moses, I think I need to take a nap. I’m not feeling so well. Can we talk later?” I still had questions, but I wasn’t ready to deal with the answers.
“Sure. I’ll see you later at the house when Verónica brings you home.”
“No offense, I don’t want to come to your house. I’m not going to feel comfortable, and I honestly ain’t ready to play aunty.”
“I can understand that. Sometimes LM makes so much noise, I want to leave too, but I love my little man so I’m staying. Where do you want to go?”
“My apartment, if it’s still available.”
“What are you going to tell Verónica? You know her feelings will be hurt if you don’t come home with her.”
I allowed my head to sink down to my chest as I thought of a solution. “I’ll make her understand. Trust me.”
“Okay. Call me when you’re ready to work.” He handed me his card, which I stuck in my drawer.
“Moses, this one is personal. Can we keep things between us?”
“I’m good with that, but I’ve already told you your dad wants in. Are you good with that?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. I have to wait and see. For now don’t tell him I’m on board. There are a few things that I don’t want to explain to him, or even my sister, for that matter.”
“Gotcha. I think I can handle that.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CARLOS MENDOZA
Moving into my old house was easy. The new owners wanted it renovated before they rented it out, but I was trying to convince them it was easier to sell it back to me, because if they didn’t, I’d have the property held up in court for the next few years with a protest. They weren’t happy, but neither was I. My brother practically gave the house away, and it cost me an additional $20,000 to buy it back.
I explained to them that Monte had no legal authority to sell my house, so I returned their money and a little extra to make them go away. They weren’t happy because they wanted rental property close to downtown, but they were going to have to find another house. It was a lot of money, but there was more than enough money hidden inside the house to make up for it.
Over the years, not only was I sending the bearer bonds, I also sent cash the likes of which had not turned up yet. Alelina told me she was hiding it in the house, and I was going to find it. No one knew of this stash so I was fairly confident it was still there.
I intended to use a good portion of the money to find Tilo. She killed my son and harmed my daughter. I was looking forward to teaching her a lesson for fucking with my family.
I looked around the house. I didn’t feel any connection with it because none of our old furnishings were left in the house. The walls were painted white and barren. The rugs that used to cover the hardwood floors had been removed. Everything that made it a home was gone.
Since I was alone, I didn’t bother to hide my tears. I stepped into the kitchen. All of our old appliances had been replaced with the latest technology. This only added to the unfamiliarity of the house. I had asked my wife several times, in fact, to update the house using some of the money I’d sent her, but she never did it. She claimed the old stuff worked just fine for her. She was a frugal woman by nature; it was one of the things I loved about her. For a moment I was overwhelmed with sadness for a love that started out so right but turned out so wrong.
My footsteps echoed across the hardwood floors as I walked from the kitchen back to the living room. It wasn’t a bad house. It was old but it was built during an era when builders actually cared about what they were building. This wasn’t some subdivision shit that they threw up in a matter of days. This house had style. I hadn’t realized it until I saw it empty. In fact, if things worked out with my family, maybe I would stay in Atlanta and make this house into a home.
As I walked around I was reminded that it was in this room that my son was taken from me. I walked around the room to see if I could detect where he had actually fallen. Just thinking about Ramón lying in a pool of his own blood was enough to make my legs grow weak. I knew my youngest son resented me, and I would have done anything to have been able to go back through time and undo the hurt and pain that I’d caused him. Even though I hurt my other children as well, with them, I still had time to try to mend the damage I’d caused.
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