I threw the mail on the kitchen table in my new apartment and carried my bags into my bedroom. I was tired and wanted nothing more than to climb into the bed and go to sleep, but I needed a shower. I took off my clothes and tossed them in the corner. I ran the shower and pulled a nightgown from my dresser. Although I normally didn’t sleep with anything on, I didn’t feel comfortable being naked in the new apartment alone. I paused in front of the mirror before I stepped in the shower. Despite the fact that I’d been in a coma for two months, my body still looked good. I was always slim, so I didn’t have to worry about doing a bunch of physical therapy to get my muscles in shape. Exercise was a part of my normal routine so the momentary break didn’t do too much damage. My hair had grown longer than I was used to having it, but overall I still looked good.
“So what are you going to do with yourself?” I asked my reflection in the mirror. I was hoping the mirror held an answer because I had no clue. I was even questioning my sexuality. Since the only people who knew about my sexuality were either missing or dead, I could honestly go either way. Tilo was my first and I responded willingly. I never gave myself a chance to know how I would have responded if I was approached by a man. Shaking those thoughts from my head, I stepped into the shower and allowed the hot water to wash away my stress and my pain. My body was healing, but I had no idea how to heal my heart.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
MOSES RAMSEY
“She should be here by now.” I was trying to keep the food warm without burning or overcooking it. I paced back and forth while anxiously watching the clock. I wanted things to be perfect. I’d even gone shopping and bought her a proper wedding ring. When we got married, it was rushed. I didn’t have time for all the pomp and circumstance, but now I wanted to rectify it. My plan was to get down on one knee and propose to her in front of my parents and my child.
“My child,” I whispered. I couldn’t stop saying it, and each time I did I smiled.
Mom said, “Relax, son, all this pacing back and forth is making me nervous. Get out of the kitchen and go keep your father company. I got this.” My mother was right.
I was acting like a teenager meeting my girl for the first time instead of a married man. “I don’t know, Mom, but ever since I found out LM was my son, I feel different inside. Is that normal?” My heart was hurting because I was carrying around a lot of guilt. I actually wanted this marriage to work, and I was ready to put in work.
“Of course it’s normal, son. But it usually happens before the baby comes.” My mother started laughing, but I was too tense to join in. She knew some of the circumstances surrounding my sudden marriage, but she didn’t know everything and I planned to keep it that way.
“You got jokes. Today is the most important day of my life and you want to be a comedian.”
“I’m not making jokes. It’s the truth, but you’ve never done things the way you were supposed to, even as a child. You probably got that from your father’s side of the family, but you obviously did something right because otherwise Verónica wouldn’t have agreed to marry you in the first place.”
“I hope so, Mom. I really was an ass those first couple of months.”
“It’s never too late to show Verónica how you feel, but you have to mean it, son. You can’t just go changing your mind.” She gave me one of her momma looks that let me know she meant business. She grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the kitchen table.
“Sit,” my mother instructed. She had her hand on her hip.
I could tell she was about to read me the riot act. My dad, who was about to enter the kitchen, turned around and walked back out. He must have known things had taken a serious turn and decided to run while he had the opportunity.
“Mom, I don’t want to burn dinner.” I started to get up, but she pushed me back and turned off the low flames.
She took a seat across from me and grabbed my hands, looking me straight in the face. “Son, I got that your marriage didn’t start off in the conventional way, but isn’t she the same woman you fell in love with?”
“Yeah, but—”
“But is for assholes and I didn’t raise an asshole.” Her analogy was so bizarre and out of the blue, I wanted to laugh. One look at the serious expression on her face stopped me. My father cleared his throat, and I could tell he was ear hustling and having a difficult time trying to remain serious as well. She shot him an evil look but he didn’t see it; he was still hiding behind the newspaper.
“I understand, Mom ... But, Mom, I’ve made some major mistakes in my marriage. Things you don’t know about. Part of me wants to tell her, but I’m sure if I do she’ll leave me in a New York minute.” This was as close to asking for advice as I was going to get.
“Then don’t tell her,” my father broke his silence.
“Shut up, Ricardo. You ain’t in this conversation.”
“And you shouldn’t be either. That boy know’s what he’s got to do, and if what he did was so damn serious and he wants to keep that woman happy, then he should shut the hell up and keep it moving.” He got up from his seat in the living room and came into the kitchen.
“Ricardo, now is not the—”
“Hush, woman, this is between me and my son. Now you know I ain’t much for getting into other folks’ business—especially grown folks—but you ’bout to fuck up. Do not—let me repeat this—do not tell your wife something that you know is going to hurt her unless it’s a matter of life or death. If you are truly sorry and it’s never going to happen again, and—let me repeat this—and if it won’t affect her health or welfare, keep your damn mouth shut.”
“Ricardo, don’t tell this boy to go into his marriage lying.”
“First of all, he’s not a boy, and second, he’s already married. There is no logical reason to stir up some shit if you don’t have to, that’s all I’m saying.”
Mom said, “If she loves you, all things are possible.”
I understood where both of them were coming from. The guilt was killing me, though, and I had to tell somebody. “I tried to kill her.” Tears flooded my eyes when I thought about how far I was willing to go for the almighty dollar.
“Son, like your father was saying, ain’t no sense in stirring up some shit if you don’t have to. All that matters now is whether or not you love her.” She got up from the table and took over tending to the food.
I sat at the table stunned and confused. “I do.” I wiped the tears from my eyes. I wanted to look at my mother but shame prevented me from doing so.
Dad said, “People make mistakes every day. If Jesus can forgive you, why can’t you forgive yourself?”
“I’m trying, but every time I think about what could’ve happened, I feel like I should tell.”
“And who would benefit from that?” My mother had such a smart-ass mouth.
I knew she was speaking the truth, but she didn’t understand how heavy the guilt was. My dad said what he had to say and went back into the living room. I thought he was finished dishing out advice but he wasn’t.
“Son, your mother is right. If you tell Verónica the truth, there is a good possibility she will walk out on your ass and we’ll never get to see our grandson. And let me just say this, if that happens and I have to live with your evil-ass mother for the rest of my life because of it, I’m not going to be happy about that. You feel me?” He flipped the paper for emphasis.
“I beg your pardon, Ricardo. I’m not evil,” my mother huffed.
“You are when you don’t get your way. I can’t blame you, I spoiled your ass so it’s my fault. Besides, she needs someone else to love besides me.” He was grinning from ear to ear when he said this, and I couldn’t keep a smile off my face even though my heart was still heavy.
My mother shared a look with my dad. I could feel the love radiating from them. I wanted the same relationship with my wife.
“You’re right, Mom. I’m going to take that secret to the grave.”
“What secret?” Veró
nica asked as she stepped in the room, carrying my son.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
VICTÓRIA MENDOZA
“I need some answers and I think you’re the only one who is going to give it to me straight.” I walked into Moses’ office without stopping to knock.
He seemed surprised to see me. Before I could say anything else, he grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out into the outer office.
“Shush.” He pointed to the walls and pointed to his ears.
“What the fuck?”
He put his fingers to his lips and shook his head angrily. I wanted to yank my arm from him but I decided to play nice. I didn’t know Moses well, so he certainly didn’t have permission to put his hands on me. Once we were in the hallway he spoke to me.
“I think my office is bugged. Until I find out who is listening, I don’t want to talk in there.”
I was skeptical. He came off like he’d just stepped out of the cuckoo house.
“I know what you’re thinking. Better safe than sorry, though.” He had a point.
If there was any validity to his concerns, I didn’t want my business put out on Front Street. However, I needed to speak with him. He looked worried as he peered back at his closed office door. He drew some keys out of his pocket and locked the door.
“Come on.” Moses turned and walked toward the elevator with me following close behind.
I was still trying to decide if I liked my sister’s husband. He was fine and funny. Did I mention fine? But I wasn’t sure I trusted him.
“Does this type of shit happen to you often?” I asked when we were in the elevator. No wonder my sister was fascinated with him. Life with him would certainly be interesting.
“Actually, this is a first time, but I’m pretty sure I know who planted the device.”
We walked the rest of the way in silence to a small coffee house on Peachtree Street. He walked in front of me, and I got a chance to admire his broad shoulders and his tight ass. I could also see the imprint of his hamstrings as they pushed against the fabric of his pants. I had to admit, he was a well put together package. He held open the door of the coffee shop, and I chose a table near the window so I could look out to the street as we talked.
“Coffee?” he said.
“Please, cream and sugar.”
He walked toward the counter and pulled out his wallet. I looked away as I felt a familiar twinge in my panties. The last thing I needed was to become attracted to my sister’s husband. I was, however, excited to know I was capable of being turned on by a man. Maybe once this mess settled, I could speak to Moses about hooking me up with one of his friends.
He came back to the table and said, “I didn’t know how sweet you liked it.”
He drank his coffee black. I grabbed some cream and three sugars and fixed my cup. He sat back in his chair and watched me until I started to feel uncomfortable.
“What?” I asked defensively.
“I didn’t say anything. I was waiting for you to tell me why you wanted to see me.”
“Oh.” I felt embarrassed, and I was sure it showed all over my face.
“You blush just like your sister,” he said with a chuckle in his voice.
I took a sip of my coffee and burned my damn tongue. “Shit.”
He burst out laughing and I laughed with him. I sat back in my chair and relaxed. He was not the enemy and, even though I didn’t agree with the way that he came into my sister’s life, he was here now and I had to deal with it.
“Sorry about not visiting you in the hospital. Time kind of got away from me.”
“Damn, you should have lied and said you came. I wouldn’t have known.”
“True, but I don’t believe in unnecessary lies.”
“Hmm, interesting.”
He raised an eyebrow. If he wanted to know what I meant, he didn’t ask.
“So let’s get back to the business at hand. What can I do for you?”
“I need some information about the night I was shot.”
He frowned and suddenly looked uncomfortable. “Victória, I don’t think I can tell you anything that your sister hasn’t already told you.”
“Verónica is spoon-feeding me information. She doesn’t want to tell me anything until I’ve regained all of my strength.”
He nodded his head as if he understood where I was coming from. “She told me. I don’t necessarily agree with that, but I’m sure she has her reasons.”
“I need to know what happened that night.”
“I understand. Aside from arriving at the house with Tilo, I was downstairs so I don’t know what transpired. The only person who can answer your questions is Tilo because she was the only one, other than you, who walked away. Do you remember anything?”
“Not really. I have little flashes when I sleep but when I wake up it’s all gone.”
“Did she tell you Tilo shot Ramón?”
I felt like someone had reached inside my chest and pulled out my heart. I clutched my chest in pain. No matter how many times I heard the same thing, it still felt the same. “She told me but it’s so hard for me to believe. She just wasn’t like that with me. I mean, how can you be so sure that Tilo did this to us?”
“I can’t say with a hundred percent certainty, but my gut tells me she did it.”
“What if some other members of the cartel stormed the house and shot us and took Tilo as a hostage?”
“That theory doesn’t make sense because the cartel had issues with your family and not Tilo. If anything, they would have shot Tilo and taken you and your brother hostage.”
I could see his logic. Getting my mind to accept it was a different animal. The part of me that still loved her wouldn’t let me accept it. “Please don’t treat me like a child. I get enough of that from Verónica,” I snapped. I was taking my frustration out on him and I knew it.
“I’m sorry, that wasn’t my intent, but you’re grasping at straws. If a member of the cartel actually stormed the house, which I doubt, they would have not missed. I believe Tilo shot Ramón without blinking an eye, but when it came time to shoot you, it wasn’t as easy and she didn’t bother to check to see if she actually killed you. That’s the only explanation that makes sense to me. My only question is why?”
“Yeah, you’re right. I was just hoping that it wasn’t true. I keep thinking she is going to put her key in the door and come back.”
Moses passed the test. I remembered the envelopes of money that Ramón had given me before he was killed. If Moses mentioned the money, it would be a clear indication that he was involved in it as well.
“I don’t believe that is going to happen. Everything Tilo did, with the exception of her botched job on you, was planned to perfection.”
I frowned. “Why do you say that?”
“Well ... I know she faked her death. I know she’s somewhere alive and well, and I also believe she has the bearer bonds that Ramón told me about.”
“I didn’t know you knew about them.”
“I wasn’t positive it was the motive for the killing, but it makes sense. Everything she did makes sense until now. She really exposed herself when she left me a voice message. If I thought it would do any good, I’d take it to the FBI and try to convince them to reopen the case.”
“What! She called? Why didn’t you tell me that sooner? What did she say?” I jumped out of my chair and rushed toward Moses.
“Hey, hold up now.” He was on his feet and trying to get me to sit back down before everybody in the coffee shop was all up in our business.
I stopped ranting when I realized how crazy I sounded. I backed up a few paces but I didn’t sit back down. “I’m sorry. I’m good now.” I took a few deep breaths to calm my nerves, but I was still wound tighter than a drum.
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to think I was a nut. First she sent me a postcard at the house, today she called and left the message.” He took his seat, but I was ready to run to his office to listen to the
tape.
“Why is she contacting you?” I snapped at him, feeling jealous.
“You are in a coma, remember?”
“I’m in a coma? What do you mean, I’m in a coma?” I laughed because I thought for sure he was joking; but from the look on his face, I could tell he wasn’t.
“Your father and I thought it would be a good idea not to let anyone, with the exception of your family, know about you coming out of the coma. You’re old news now so it doesn’t matter.”
“My father? What’s he got to do with anything? He just got here and part of this is his fault.” I was immediately turned off at the mention of my father.
“I know how you must feel, but he’s as determined to find Tilo as I am. Verónica wants me to let it go but I can’t.”
“Moses, you couldn’t possibly know how I feel. Hell, most days I don’t know myself.” I was conflicted. I wasn’t sure how much he knew about my relationship with Tilo. “Can I listen to the message?”
Moses studied me for several minutes before he dialed his voice mail. He passed me the phone when he got to Tilo’s message, and I confirmed that it was indeed Tilo’s voice. My heart felt like it was about to bust out of my chest.
“Did you know Tilo tried to burn down our apartment?” This time Moses was the one jumping out of his chair.
“Shit, when?”
“I think I need something stronger than coffee. What about you?”
“Fine. Do you want to come by the house?”
“No, meet me at my place in an hour.” I turned to leave.
“Where do you live?”
I smiled. If he didn’t ask for directions then it meant he already knew and could be a suspect in the attempted torching of my apartment. I hated to be so suspicious of people, but until my full memory returned, I was being extra observant about the people around me.
CHAPTER FORTY
VICTÓRIA MENDOZA
I was feeling slightly better about my sister’s choice in Moses after our meeting this morning. He kind of scared me when he dragged me out of his office, but I would keep my eye on him just in case. I was pretty much settled into my new apartment, but I still had piles of items that I hadn’t put away.
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