The reason why I wanted Moses to come to my apartment was so that we could compare the voice on his answering machine to the taped greeting on my answering machine. If it was her voice, I would have no choice but to get with the program. Why else would she call Moses? As I waited, I decided to go through the stacks of mail from the mailbox.
I sorted the mail into two piles: hers and mine. Hers was mainly junk mail since all of the bills were in my name. At the time, Tilo told me her credit was jacked up so she asked me to put them in my name. In hindsight, she probably did this so no one would know where she lived. At the time, I didn’t think about it because I thought of it as additional security. She couldn’t get tired of me one day and kick my ass out without proper notice. My theory worked on one hand since she didn’t kick me out, but she fucked me on a whole other level I didn’t even think was possible.
I shook my head as I went through the mail. I was going to have to spend the better part of the day paying the overdue bills. Thank God I had a boatload of cash to do it with. I wondered if Verónica told Moses about the money, so I called her up.
“Hey, what’s up?” I said.
“We’re about to go shopping.”
I could hear the happiness in my sister’s voice.
“We?” Damn, she wasn’t wasting any time spending her money.
“Yeah, didn’t I tell you Moses’ parents were coming to visit? His mother and I are going to hit the malls to get some things for LM.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot.” I was disappointed that she didn’t invite me to come along.
“They got here yesterday. I was going to call you later to see if you and Padre wanted to come over to dinner. Are you feeling up to it?”
“Huh?” I was jealous because her life didn’t miss a beat. Even though she lost her husband, she continued to march forward with a new band. I wanted to get on with my life but I had to find all the pieces to put my puzzle back together.
“Dinner? Where is your mind, child?” Verónica said.
“Sorry, I completely blanked out. Uh, I’ll get back to you about dinner. Have fun on your shopping trip.”
“Cool, thanks.”
“Hey, did you, uh, tell Moses about the money?”
There was a long pause.
“No, I haven’t had time. When I got home, girl, Moses had this romantic dinner and shit all laid out and everything. It was so nice. And, of course, his parents were here. They were fussing over the baby, so it really slipped my mind.”
“Oh, okay. I was just checking.”
“Why?” she said.
“I don’t know, I just wanted to know.”
“All right ... I guess I’ll talk to you later.”
I said, “Yeah, I’ll call you if I can make it over later.”
“Fine. Get some rest. You don’t sound all that hot to me.”
As I hung up the phone, I never felt so lonely in my life. I never had a lot of friends, but I did have family. Right now, I didn’t feel a part of Verónica’s family. She had moved on with her life while I was still circling like a plane in a holding pattern.
“I need to put my hands on this bitch who ruined my life.” I crushed a bill in my hand without even realizing it.
Someone knocked on the door. I tossed my MasterCard bill on the table and went to answer the door. It was Moses. “I just got off the phone with your wife.”
Moses stopped like a deer caught in headlights.
“Relax, I didn’t tell her you were coming over.”
He came in and closed the door behind him. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in the habit of hiding things from my wife, but she really doesn’t want me involved in chasing Tilo. As far as she’s concerned, Tilo is dead. Until I can prove otherwise, I’m not saying anything to her.”
Prior to Tilo’s deception, I might have busted Moses for lying to my sister, but I understood where he was coming from. My sister could be a royal pain in the ass. “What do you want to drink?”
“Actually, I stopped by the store before I came over here. Do you like Moscato?” He pulled the bottle out of a brown bag and set it on the table.
I went to get glasses and placed the answering machine in the center of the table.
He said, “What’s this?”
I pressed play and Tilo’s greeting filled my apartment. “You’ve reached 678-555-5555. We can’t come to the phone so you know what that means—”
I pressed stop on the machine as the greeting finished.
Moses practically choked. “Damn, that’s her. She sounds just like the voice on my answering machine. She didn’t even attempt to disguise her voice. Were there any other messages?”
“No, I guess we weren’t that popular. Where do you think she is?” I said.
“Seriously, I don’t know and the postcard she sent didn’t have a postmark on it.”
“If she sent it through the mail, it would have to have a postmark on it. Do you have it? Can I see it?”
He pulled the postcard out of his briefcase, which I hadn’t even noticed when he came in. “Is this her handwriting?”
I studied the short note as tiny hairs stood up on the back of my neck. I read her words. Wish you were here. What the fuck does that mean? I was angry. Tilo was flirting with him.
He said, “So is this her handwriting? If not, somebody is fucking with me.”
I studied his face before I answered. I had so many questions but very few answers. “Yeah, it’s her handwriting,” I grudgingly admitted while the wheels turned in my head. “Moses, I’m still not clear as to how you even know Tilo.”
He sat back in his chair and took a sip of wine. “I really don’t know her know her if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“Well, it did cross my mind.” I put it out there for him to explain.
He sighed. “One night I was bringing your brother home. It was late and I didn’t want him to catch the bus. When I dropped him off, a car followed me. I led the car down a one-way street and I cornered Tilo before she could get away.”
“Why would she follow you? I don’t understand.”
“She said she was checking up on you. We went to get some coffee and she told me the whole story once she found out that Ramón worked for me.”
“What do you mean the whole story?” I started sweating. Strange because it was cool in my apartment. I fidgeted and squirmed in my seat as I gulped my wine.
Moses continued to stare at me, which only heightened my feelings of discomfort. He said, “Uh ... she told me you didn’t come to work and she was concerned. And she told me about the letters your mom wrote.”
“Damn, she told you all our business and she didn’t even know you. That’s strange, don’t you think?” I was watching Moses like a hawk; he appeared as uncomfortable as I felt.
“In hindsight, yeah, it’s strange. But there was a lot of things going on at the time, so I didn’t pay attention. I was more concerned about Verónica and the baby.” He had a point. Who had time to pay attention to details?
“Did Tilo tell you about us?” Since she had blabbed about everything else, it only stood to reason that she told him about me.
“She said you were lovers and that you lived together. If you’re worried about me saying anything, don’t. What you do behind closed doors is none of my business.”
I didn’t know what to think. If he meant to make me feel more at ease, he was wrong. He only made me more suspicious because this was the second secret that I knew he was keeping from my sister. “Um, wow.” I sighed. I felt dirty and I wanted to take a bath.
“Victória, don’t go there. She fooled all of us. I’m just telling you this so you know it’s just part of the game.”
“She was my first.” I don’t know why I told him that. It was none of his business. He didn’t ask, but I needed to tell someone. I was so confused about everything; nothing was making sense to me. I started crying and I couldn’t stop. I felt so exposed, and I didn’t like the feeling one bit.
“Victória, one experience does not define who you are. You’re young and you have a whole lot of life to live. You’re going to make mistakes, but you have to brush yourself off and keep it moving.” He didn’t reach out to comfort me and I appreciated it. At that moment I didn’t think I could have stood to be touched. We sat quietly for a few more moments.
“When I went by our other apartment,” I said between sniffles, “some guys busted in the door asking for Tilo. I didn’t get to see their faces, but I’m positive one of them was black. They must have been watching the apartment, so we’re not the only ones who know she’s still alive.”
“What did they want?” Moses’ voice rose with alarm.
“I don’t know. They asked for Tilo. I told them I was trying to find her myself, and they basically told me to stay out of their way.”
“Shit, who were they?” Moses started pacing.
“I have no idea. We never had people over; our life was very private. My sister doesn’t even know where I live. Ramón knew but that’s it as far as I know.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m finding Tilo. Period.”
“If you don’t, I will.”
After Moses left, I went to several banks and got safe-deposit boxes in each one, which I stuffed with money. Since I couldn’t account for where the money came from, I couldn’t put it into my account. I was tired by the time I got back home, but I wanted to pay the bills that had accumulated while I was in the hospital. My MasterCard statement was the last one I opened. I was actually surprised to see the bill because, unlike my other cards, this one should have been current because I rarely used it. I kept this card for emergencies such as car repairs and to build my credit.
“Shit, this is a joint account.” My hands started shaking as I opened the bill. I dialed Moses as I read the charges.
“Moses, oh my God, Tilo used my credit card. There’s a charge on my card for AirTran Airways and I didn’t make it. Can you call my father? I’m on my way to your office.”
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
CARLOS MENDOZA
I really didn’t have time to stop by Moses’ office. I went anyway, especially when he said Victória would be there. Victória and I still hadn’t had an opportunity to sit down and talk, so I was hoping to knock out two birds with one stone. If I had to use Moses to get this accomplished, I didn’t have a problem with it.
“Hello, Moses, how are you?” I looked around the office. To my dismay Victória was not there.
“I’m well. Where have you been? We haven’t seen you around the house.”
I took a seat in a soft leather chair. “I’m sorry, I’ve been so busy lately. Tell Verónica I will be by before the week is out.”
“Perhaps you should tell her yourself. She is going to wonder when I saw you, and that’s going to open up a whole dialogue that I don’t think you or I want to have.”
“You’ve got a good point. I forgot myself for moment. Is there anything new going on that I should know about?” I was ready to get this meeting under way with or without Victória.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I’d really—”
We both looked up when Victória came into the office. There were a few uncomfortable seconds as she came in and took a seat.
“Hello, Victória.” I felt awkward because I wanted to hug her and I didn’t know how she would react if I did. I certainly didn’t want to do it in front of Moses and risk the embarrassment of her pushing me away.
“Padre.” She stared at me as if she wanted to say more.
I longed for the day when we were more than just civil to each other. Until that day came, I would take what I could get.
“Carlos, I met with Victória earlier today and we discussed our desire to find Tilo. I told her that you also wanted to find her so we asked you here so we could all be on the same page, working together.”
I nodded. “Okay, I’m okay with that.”
Moses said, “Victória, did you bring the bill?”
She handed him an envelope. “I was paying some bills when I noticed two charges on my credit card that I couldn’t possibly have made. They both were made while I was in the hospital so I called Moses.”
“Did someone steal your identity?” I asked.
“No, I don’t think so,” Moses answered for her. He handed me the envelope, but I missed any correlation I was supposed to get.
Moses said, “It means she’s on the move. These charges to the airline look like luggage fees to me. It’s too small to be airfare. If I’m right, she’s been in Atlanta up until two weeks ago. Victória, can I hold on to these details for a few days while I check them out?”
“Yeah. Should I cancel the card?”
“No,” Moses and I said together.
Moses elaborated, “She might not ever use the card again, but if she does, we’ll know.”
I said, “You should sign up for credit alert. It notifies you every time a purchase is made on your cards. You could set up how, when, and how often you want to be notified. It’s easy. I have it on all my accounts.”
Moses leaned forward. “That’s a good idea, Carlos. I think I might sign me and Verónica up for this as well. Makes sense.”
“Moses, don’t forget to let Padre hear the message from Tilo?”
“Dag, I almost forgot.”
I was getting excited because I felt like we were finally doing something to bring this matter to a close. Moses started dialing what I assumed to be his number on the phone. We all sat in silence as the office greeting came over the speaker. He pressed a few more buttons and finally the message played. We sat in silence until it was finished, but I was chilled to the bone.
“That’s Tilo’s voice,” Victória said.
“I thought so too, and Victória and I compared it to the voice on their answering machine, and I’d swear in a court of law it was the same person,” Moses confirmed.
I jumped up from my chair, outraged. “I know this voice too.” I was so angry just thinking about the implications.
“You should. Didn’t she call you and tell you to come home?” Victória looked at me strangely, but she couldn’t possibly understand where I was coming from.
“Carlos, what’s going on?” Moses looked at me.
I heard Moses talking to me. So many thoughts were going through my head; however, I couldn’t process them all. I was getting angrier by the second; but more important, my chest started pounding. I realized I was losing control as I clutched my chest and fell to the floor. Victória screamed as she fell to her knees beside me. I tried to get my pills but Victória’s hands were in the way.
“I need an ambulance at 435 Peachtree Street. Hurry, it may be a heart attack.” Moses slammed down the phone. “Victória, do you know CPR?”
“Uh—”
“My pills,” I whispered through parched lips.
“What did he say?” Victória shouted.
“Move,” Moses said as he took command.
I was grateful he was there.
“My pills,” I said again.
He pushed my hands away and found my pills. “How many?” He had the bottle open and poured them in my hand.
I blinked once. The pain in my chest was so tight I couldn’t even talk. I was afraid to move.
“I’m going to assume you mean one.” Moses took the pill and placed it in my mouth.
I moved it under my tongue. I tried to smile but I was still in too much pain.
“What’s happening?” Victória was losing it. She was crying but I couldn’t help her. Not at that moment.
Moses pointed to the phone. “Call your sister. I think she knows something. But do us a favor and take the phone outside.”
The pill was working, but each episode was worse than the one before and it scared me. As the pain receded, I cried. If I wanted to be around to be in my children’s lives, it was time to do something about this. I couldn’t keep ignoring the pain.
“You good or do you need another pill?” Mose
s asked.
“Better.” I struggled to get up but he pushed me back to the floor.
He said, “Not so fast. You’re going to the hospital to get checked out.”
I didn’t have any fight in me. I was going to do whatever they told me, if it meant an end to the pain. I settled back on the floor and waited.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
VERÓNICA RAMSEY
I wasn’t in the best frame of mind when I rushed into the hospital. It seemed like much of my life was being spent at Grady Memorial Hospital. It seemed as if my family members were being plucked from my life one at a time. “God, please don’t take my father away from me again.”
Victória wouldn’t give me much information. She was hysterical. Moses wound up giving me a brief recap of what was going on. However, I could not figure out how or why all three of them were together when my father collapsed. I left LM with my in-laws and rushed to the hospital.
Moses and Victória were seated in the waiting room when I rushed in. I was out of breath from running from the parking deck. Moses leaned over and gave me a soft peck on the lips. I was embarrassed by his public display of affection since we’d spent most of our relationship hiding behind closed doors.
“What happened?” I said, looking between the two of them. I hugged my sister and sat down next to Moses. “Padre was having chest pains, and Moses told me to call for an ambulance. He didn’t want to come to the hospital but Moses insisted, so I rode over with him.”
I said, “That’s good. I’m glad you both were with him to make sure he took his pills.”
All eyes swiveled to me.
Victória jumped out of her chair and got in my face. “You knew about this and didn’t tell me? I can’t believe you.”
“I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret, but I haven’t had time to tell you.”
“After what happened to Mom? Are you serious?” She walked over to the window, obviously pissed at me.
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