Shadows Grow

by Kara Jaynes

  “Why didn’t you come see me sooner?” I whisper. I look anxiously at the door. There’s an elf that patrols the hall every single night. What if he hears Wilder, or picks up his scent? I’ve learned that elven senses are much keener than those of a human.

  “I wanted to.” Wilder pauses and puts a finger to his lips, warning me to be silent. I obey, even though I can’t hear whatever it is he does.

  My ex-fiance cocks an ear toward the door, eyes narrowed.

  I don’t realize I’m holding my breath until he relaxes and nudges my shoulder. “He’s gone,” he says.

  “You shouldn’t be here,” I say. “It’s too dangerous.”

  Wilder reaches up, cupping my cheek. His red eyes hold wistful sadness. “You’re worth the risk, Stella.”

  I smile, gazing up at him. Part of me wishes we could leave this place and start over. No star-blood past, no worries of the future, and no space elves.

  But that would break Eldaren’s heart. I can’t do that to him. Not yet. I promised a year. A whole flipping year. What was I thinking?

  To be fair, I hadn’t known Wilder would come back when I made that promise. I was just doing my best to collect the shards that made up my broken life.

  But Wilder has returned, and it changes everything.

  No, it doesn’t. I exhale, my gaze dropping to Wilder’s mouth. I promised Eldaren. I have to keep my word, right? Even if it feels like torture, with Wilder right here. His hand rests on my waist like it was made for that very purpose. He’s so close that even in the dark I can make out the angles and lines that define his perfect face.

  The fortress rumbles, and the earth groans below us. It’s only for a moment, and just the slightest of tremors, but it reminds me of what I’m supposed to be doing, where my focus needs to be.

  Wilder pulls away, his expression grim as he looks around. “The earthquakes are back,” he says. “I thought the elves used magic to keep them away.”

  “They did,” I say, still keeping my voice just barely above a breath. “But it’s not working.”

  Wilder rolls his eyes and rises to his feet. He doesn’t release the grip he has around my waist and pulls me against his chest. “Will you come with me?” he asks. “Right now? Please say yes, Stella.”

  I breathe in his scent, closing my eyes as I curve into his embrace. The memories we shared float across my mind, stinging my heart. I miss that. I miss him. I miss what we had. Evenings spent curled next to each other on the sagging sofa in my tarp covered house, watching old comedies, laughing until we cried. Nights in each other’s arms, Wilder wiping away my tears as I grieved over the loss of my parents, or over my crippling worry for Quinn.

  Wilder had come into my life when I’d been solely focused on survival for myself and my brother. He’d taught me to dream, taught me to hope, and showed me how to make a life for myself in a place where I thought existing was all that was left.

  But it’d also been Wilder who’d chosen the star-blood, and left me alone to dive for what scraps could be found in the city dumpsters.

  Why? Why had he done it? I didn’t know. By the time I’d realized he was taking it, it was too late to help him. Wilder was fully addicted, and anything he’d felt for me was lost in his overwhelming need for the drug.

  A hand cups my chin, forcing me to look up into red. Wilder gazes down at me, his expression a heart-wrenching mix of hope and despair. “Stella,” he murmurs.

  “I can’t go with you,” I breathe, my heart constricting at the pain that enters his gaze. “But I would like to talk to you. Can we go somewhere safer?”

  Wilder nods once and releases me from his embrace. Stepping to the window, he opens it. A breeze rushes through, whipping his blond curls about his face. He grins and holds his hand out.

  I hesitate. What would Eldaren think? Is this betrayal? Do I even know the prince well enough for this to be wrong? I promised he could court me for a year.

  But this isn’t a date. Wilder isn’t safe, here. He needs to go, and he’ll leave if I go with him. It’s only for a while.

  And I need some closure.

  Wilder’s hand is still extended, his gaze glittering in the dim light. Half his face is cast in shadow; the other half pale with the faint glow of the lamp outside.

  This is Wilder. I’m not running away with him, and he’s safe. Wilder would never hurt me. I have nothing to fear, and Eldaren has nothing to fear.

  I step forward and take his hand.

  23

  Wilder

  Stars in the sky, Stella’s scent is incredible. My mouth waters and I swallow hard. She steps up to me, her slim hand resting in mine. She’s so trusting. Despite the beast I’ve become, she trusts me.

  Why?

  Her gaze pulls away from mine to rest on the windowsill. “We’re climbing down?” she asks.

  I smile and shake my head. I can hear footsteps outside her door, quiet but sure. An elf. I’m surprised he hasn’t detected my scent yet. How could he not? It’s not the prince, however. The smell is different. And as evolved as their senses are, I’m beginning to suspect that a vampire’s senses are keener.

  But I’m tempting fate, lingering here as long as I have. I put a finger to my lips, signaling to Stella for silence. She nods.

  There’s a guard posted below. His gaze scans the grounds before him.

  He doesn’t think to look up.

  And up is where we go.

  I gather Stella in my arms, and with a bounding leap, hurtle up and onto the roof. Elves are quiet, but vampires are made for stealth, I’ve learned. Even with the added weight my feet hardly make a sound when I land.

  From there, I carefully sneak across to a vantage point where the area before us is free of guards. “Keep quiet,” I breathe and jump. She’s a good girl; she gasps in shock as we plummet to the ground, but otherwise remains silent.

  I land on the pavement in a crouch, doing my best to hold and shield Stella from the impact. She winces.

  “Are you all right?” I ask. She nods again.

  “I can only be gone for a while, Wilder,” she says, and my heartbeat picks up speed under the wistfulness in her voice. “I need to be back here before I’m discovered missing.”

  I frown. I don’t like this. I don’t like Stella’s doubts. A year ago, she was all devotion. Now she isn’t sure of her feelings.

  And who is to blame for that?

  I plaster a smile on my face. “Sure thing,” I say casually. “But let’s go somewhere that’s not here.”

  “Okay.” She glances around. “How are we going to get out without the elves catching us?”

  “Leave that to me.” I gather her in my arms again. “Sorry, but I’m going to need to carry you. It’s faster this way.”

  “Fine,” she grumbles, but I can feel her heartbeat pounding, pounding, pounding. She’s affected by my nearness.

  That knowledge fills me with a giddiness I haven’t felt in what seems like ages. I break into a run. Everything is crystal-clear to me, but I suspect it’s all a blur, to Stella.

  I reach the gate in moments and with a tremendous leap, sail up and over, landing lightly on the other side. The elves have set a barrier over it, to warn them of intruders. It’s how I was nearly caught during my initial visits. But I can see magic more clearly, now that I know where to look, and it is merely a matter of leaping over. No one knows I was here.

  I don’t take her very far; just down a street and into a nearby abandoned building. The glass windows had been punched out long ago, and the floor is damp with the weather, but otherwise it’s empty, plundered of its contents long ago.

  I set Stella down by a window, giving us a depressing view of the city. I’ve never questioned my life here, but sitting next to Stella, I know that she deserves more than what this pathetic place has to offer, elf prince or no.

  I should take her out to the country. Whatever that is. Books tell me it’s a wild and green place, with lots of cows and bumpy gravel roads. A place wi
th wide open skies unmarred by city buildings and the constant fog of smoke and pollution. We’d be happy out there, I’m sure of it.

  Until you kill her.

  I inhale sharply, fingers clawing into the windowsill. “Nice view,” I say, for lack of anything else. Does she know? Does she know just how badly I need her blood? That I’m half an impulse away from slashing her throat and—

  NO! Sweat beads on my forehead. This is Stella. The love of my life. I cannot hurt her. I must not. I will die if anything happens to my little spark.

  Stella laughs like I’ve said a great joke and settles down beside me. “I’ve seen better,” she says. She looks up at me, her gaze soft. “I’m glad to share it with you, though.”

  Her scent calls to me, beckons me. Blood, fresh blood, just below that thin, fragile surface of skin. It wouldn’t take much to tear it. Maybe I could just take a sip. A small sip.

  Pull yourself together. If I hurt Stella, I’ll turn myself in to the elves. I won’t be able to live knowing I’d harmed her.

  And suddenly I can’t bear to look at her. My thirst rages within me, parching my throat. Bringing her here was a terrible idea. I’m not sure I can even touch her right now, not even to take her back to the elves.

  “Wilder?” Stella’s voice holds a note of concern. “What’s the matter? Did I say something wrong?”

  I shake my head, and I have to swallow twice before I can speak. “It’s not you,” I say. Just how you smell. The thought makes me want to laugh. Stella wouldn’t take it the right way.

  Stella is quiet, waiting for me to speak. What do I say? “Um, thanks for coming here with me,” I say after a moment.

  “Of course.” Stella rubs my back with a slim hand, no doubt hoping I find the gesture soothing, and I shudder at the desire that rages through me at her touch. I need her like I’ve never needed anyone or anything.

  You sound like an obsessive creep. Knock it off. My head and my instincts are not in agreement tonight.

  Stella continues. “I wish that we didn’t have to meet in secret. I wish the elves knew that you’re not like the others. You’re Wilder. You’re good. Your heart is good.”

  “You didn’t say that when you caught me with pockets stuffed with packets of powdered star-blood,” I say wryly, and I wince when Stella’s hand falls away.

  She’s quiet, so quiet I begin to fear I’ve offended her, but then she speaks. “Why did you do it, Wilder?” she asks. “How—why did you get into drugs? You were such a good man. I don’t understand why you did it.”

  I sigh and look back out the window. The street is empty, the hour long past curfew. “I—” the words stick in my throat.

  I’m not ready to tell her.

  She won’t understand, will she? “I didn’t mean to,” is all I say, my shoulders rising and falling in a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, Stella. I wish I could change it.”

  And I do. If I hadn’t gotten mixed up in the star-blood, Stella and I would be married by now. There would be no elven prince to compete with, and I wouldn’t be a vampire. All of this can be laid at my feet; I’m to blame for everything.

  Quiet settles over us, and snuggling closer to me, Stella studies the view before us. It’s raining now, and I sigh again, only this time it’s with contentment. The raindrops hit what’s left of the metal roof with a drip—drop—drip—drop that I find comforting. I put my chin on Stella’s head and close my eyes. Pitter-patter, pitter-patter. Drip . . . drip . . . drip.

  It sounds like blood hitting the pavement. I flinch and open my eyes. Better focus on something else.

  “I love the sound of rain,” Stella says, breaking the silence between us. “When I’m not out in it,” she says. “It’s best when I’m curled up in bed with a book, or—” she flushes a beautiful shade of pink, “when I’m with someone I care about.”

  Another rumble shakes the earth, but it is over in moments. Stella clicks her tongue in frustration. “If I could just find a clue, we might be able to stop this.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask. “A clue to what?”

  “The elves are looking for a magic user, a human, called a gaia,” Stella says. She rests her arms on the sill. “In theory, his magic could calm these quakes, and assist with healing the earth.”

  I tilt my head. “Heal the earth?”

  “It’s dying, Wilder.” Stella looks at me, her eyes sad. “That is why they’re here. The elves are trying to save Earth. Literally.”

  I stare at her, speechless. I had no idea. I’d assumed they were here to take control. I’d assumed it’d been like the old stories, aliens moving from planet to planet, stripping it of its resources and then moving on. But the elves haven’t murdered the humans on a mass scale, so I then assumed they’d decided to rule with humans as their subjects.

  I still hated them, but what Stella said makes sense. “How are you going to find this elusive gaia?”

  “Well, the elves haven’t found him—or her, but Eldaren asked me to study books, to see if I can find something in our history that will give us a clue.” She clicks her tongue. “But I’ve been useless. I can’t find anything. I’ve searched and searched, and nothing.”

  “Sounds like you’re looking in the wrong books,” I say.

  “Yeah, but I’m limited to what the elves carry. It’s a lot of books, but—” she growls in annoyance, the sound beyond adorable, “—I’m so annoyed. I’ve spent hours reading, reading, reading, and nothing.”

  I consider her words. “You need to look somewhere else.”

  “I don’t even know where I’d begin searching.”

  “What are you looking for, specifically?” I ask. “As in, what types of books?”

  “History, probably,” she says, and I grin.

  “Why am I not surprised?” I tease.

  Stella smiles in response, nudging me in the shoulder. “I actually found a different topic I find interesting,” she says. “Magic. The elves keep several books on the subject. I can obviously only read the ones in English, but they’re interesting.”

  “Why do you like it?” I ask. Stella is no magic user. She’s just a normal girl.

  She shrugs. “I don’t know,” she says. “I guess it’s intriguing because it’s real, but it doesn’t seem like it should be. It’s like a cross between science and fairy tales. Or something. I dunno; I just enjoy reading on the topic.”

  “I know of a place that might have what you’re looking for,” I say. “There’s an underground market—”

  “I thought the elves rooted those out,” Stella interrupts.

  I smirk. “They rooted most of them out. There’s one more.”

  “You think it’ll contain some knowledge of the gaia?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know. I know one of the vendors sells books of various sorts, though.” And star-blood can be purchased in the back room. I don’t voice my last thought.

  “Hmm.” Stella chews the inside of her cheek, making me panic for a moment that she’s going to bleed, but then she stops and asks, “is it far?”

  “From here,” I say, “a little. You’ll need a few hours to rifle through books, I imagine.”

  “Why don’t you tell me where it is, and I can go with the elves.”

  She must have read the sudden surge of jealousy I felt on my face. “Not that I want to go with them,” she adds hastily, “I just don’t think it’s a good idea for us to gallivant all over the city together. We’ll get caught.”

  I mull over her words, trying to soothe the hurt that still simmers in my chest. I try to smile, but it feels like a grimace. “I won’t let the elves destroy the last underground market,” I say. “I have friends there who rely on the income they make.” A lie. I just want to be the one to take her.

  “Oh.” A faint line creases her brow. “I can’t be gone long, Wilder. If the elves find out . . .”

  She trails off and anger sparks in my chest. “By elves, do you mean the prince? So what if he finds out? You shouldn’t even be ther
e, Stella.”

  She looks away, and I know I’ve upset her. But how? Does she harbor feelings for the prince? I had considered it, but I know she loved me, with every fiber of her being.

  But that was before I’d thrown away our relationship.

  “I like him,” she admits, and my heart plummets. “But I don’t love him,” she finishes, and just like that, hope soars. There’s still time. I can win her back. “He likes me, though, and, well, I can’t leave yet.”

  My eyes narrow. What is she getting at?

  “I’ll go with you,” she says, after another awful silence of hesitation, “but let’s hurry. And not tonight. I’ve already been away for too long.”

  “As my lady commands,” I murmur, and Stella smiles before looking away.

  “Thanks, Wilder,” she says. “Thanks for being willing to help me, even though things are . . . complicated.”

  Complicated. My lip curls in a sneer, but I wipe it away before she can see it. Things are only this complicated because she allows them to be.

  We return to Stella’s room, after that. The rain is only a slight drizzle, but Stella is shivering in the cold. She climbs through the window, her teeth clicking together.

  I crouch on the sill, watching her. Dawn will be here, very soon. I need to leave.

  She turns around and wraps me in an embrace. “Come back when you can,” she whispers. “I’ll be ready.”

  Returning her embrace, I’m careful not to hug her too hard. “Tomorrow,” I say. “I’ll be back tomorrow night. We’ll go then.” If finding a book with potential information about a mysterious magic user is as important as Stella thinks it is, we need to find it as soon as possible.

  Stella nods. “Okay.” She exhales into my shirt. “It’s probably a fool’s errand, but I can’t seem to find it here.”

  “No worries,” I whisper. We need to keep our voices down, now that we’re back in enemy territory. “And if we don’t find it there, we’ll look elsewhere.”

  Stella doesn’t respond. She breathes deeply, smelling me, and I bite my lip to keep from laughing. If she chose me, she could breathe my scent as much as she liked.