A Proscriptive Relationship

by Jordan Lynde

  “Holly, it sounds to me like your making up excuses not to like him.”

  I gaped at Casey, unable to think of a reply. She frowned at me, crossing her arms. Was I making up excused not to like him? No, that wasn’t it. I was just being rational. Yeah!

  “I’m just being rational,” I explained, furrowing my eyebrows. “I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

  “Well, even if he doesn’t like you, there’s something special about you to him,” she pressed. “Why else would he keep making you stay after school?”

  “Because he’s a blackmailing devil,” I muttered.

  Casey sighed lightly. “Holly. C’mon.”

  I glanced up at her, shaking my head. “Casey, let’s forget about it. It’s wrong, and impossible, and I just don’t want to think about it anymore, okay?”

  “Fine, you keep on making up excuses,” she responded, her face serious, “but when he stops chasing after you, and you lose any chance you have with him, don’t come crying to me. You need to stop thinking of wrong and right, Holly, because when it comes to love there’s no such thing. When you love someone, nothing should be able to come between the two of you. You’re just going to be hurting yourself thinking along the lines as ‘he can’t like me, it’s impossible’. Nothing is impossible. Have more confidence in yourself.”

  And with that, she turned and started walking away from me. I watched her walk away. As her words sunk in to my mind, I knew she was right. I groaned, putting my head in my hands. I was making up excuses. But it wasn’t that I didn’t like Mr. Heywood—no, I knew I liked him, could even love him. What was there not to love? His beautiful gray eyes that seemed to pierce right into my soul? His messy hair that could either make him look boyishly cute or like a handsome young man? Sure, he had a split personality, but it was sort of a charm point.

  Sort of.

  I groaned again. But there was something else that kept me from really accepting my feelings, something I didn’t want to admit to myself.

  I didn’t know anything about Mr. Heywood.

  What I liked were his looks, his actions, and his personality. But I didn’t know a single thing about his past, besides that he was a gang leader, and he had done something that had the gang wanting him dead. And I didn’t know what that was. If it was something really bad, would that change my view of him?

  I rubbed my forehead, trying to clear my thoughts. For now, I couldn’t let him know of my feelings. I didn’t want him to think they weren’t real. That I was just like all the other girls at school. For now, I’d deal with my unrequited love, even if it hurt. I could deal with it.

  Standing up, I decided to busy myself. Looking around, I noticed a few groups playing with a beach ball and having a game of badminton. It was kind of funny scene. Although we were on the beach, everyone was in jeans and T-shirts. I wondered yet again whose idea it was to go to the beach in October.

  “Casey, I’m going to go to the rock pier,” I called down to where she was standing, watching her boyfriend.

  She turned to me immediately. “Oh! Can I come?”

  “Sure, not Willis though.”

  We both glanced at Willis, who was roughhousing by the water with some boys from our class. Casey looked over at him and smiled for a second, then turned back to me, shrugging. “He won’t even notice I’m gone.”

  I chuckled, pushing my hair behind my ear. “Fine, let’s go.”

  Together we started down the beach, walking along the thin wash of broken waves, careful not to step into the water. It took longer than I thought. I must have misjudged the distance. The closer we got, however, the larger the rocks appeared. Casey sped up slightly.

  “Look at that!” she cried, her eyes wide. “It’s like a fort! Hurry, Holly!”

  “Casey, we still have a way to walk—argh!” I cried out as she suddenly grabbed my wrist and started sprinting. “Casey!”

  “C’mon, c’mon!”

  I scowled slightly, but didn’t dare to stop running. Knowing me, I’d probably end up tripping over my feet and falling face first into the water. When we finally reached the rocks, we were both panting, and holding stitches in our sides. I leaned against one of the boulders trying to catch my breath. Casey regained her breath easily and started climbing one. After a moment I followed in pursuit.

  The top of the rock was flat and stable to stand on. Casey hopped to the next one, which had a two-foot crevice between it and the one I was on. I stepped over the gap cautiously, looking down to see a black hole.

  “Casey!” I cried as she jumped from the second rock and into a crevice.

  “Follow me,” she called back.

  I peeked over the crevice to see her at the bottom looking up at me. I nervously lowered myself down, dropping onto the sand. Casey started walking down the fissure and I followed, running my hand against the wet rock walls.

  “This is so cool,” she commented, following as it curved into a small section of the beach.

  I grinned at her. “Well, aren’t you the explorer?”

  She smirked smugly. I had to admit, though, the area was pretty cool. The large black rocks even went about ten feet out into the ocean, sectioning of the area. It was totally enclosed. Someone’s own private little beach.

  “Check this out,” Casey said, moving across the sand to a small tunnel in the rock.

  “Should we go in there?”

  I shook my head. “There’s probably only trash and stuff. Let’s go climb the rock pier before it’s time to eat.”

  Casey stared longingly at the small cave before sighing. “Yeah.”

  We made our way out of the little private area, and with some effort, pulled ourselves out of the crevice and onto the flat rocks that led to the pier. I wanted to make it out to the last rock.

  Casey was kicking a pebble while expertly getting across crevice after crevice and I was barely managing to stumble from rock to rock without falling. One of the gaps was twice the length of the other so she gave her pebble an extra hard kick, sending it soaring way over past the gap.

  I snickered as she flushed in embarrassment.

  “Ow!”

  Casey and I looked at each other in surprise and scrambled across the crevice, looking down the other side of the rock. A pair of teenaged boys stood below us. One of them had shaggy hair and the other had a buzz cut. The one with the buzz cut was holding a hand to his head and holding the pebble in his other hand.

  Casey jumped down before I could stop her, and jogged up to the boy with the buzz cut. “I am so sorry!” she apologized.

  “I think I’m bleeding,” he said, pulling his hand away from his head for a second, before quickly replacing it. “Yeah, definitely bleeding.”

  I rolled my eyes. Yeah, right.

  “Sorry!” Casey apologized again, sounding flustered. “Let me check it out.”

  She reached a hand up to the teen’s head, but before I could protest, the teen grabbed her wrist, a smirk spreading across his face. I immediately tensed up, watching them carefully.

  “Let go,” she demanded, trying to yank her wrist free.

  “Are you alone?”

  She shook her head. “I’m here with my boyfriend. Let go of me.”

  I scowled, preparing to shout at the guy. Then the guy with the shaggy hair finally made his move, grabbing Casey’s other arm.

  “Hang out with us,” he suggested.

  “Let go!” she repeated, with more force.

  I caught my breath and watched nervously. What should I do? Go get someone? No, there wasn’t time for that. They hadn’t noticed me, so I quietly backed away from the edge and started going around it. I could hear Casey’s angry voice and the boys’ joking ones as I slyly came up from behind them

  “Stay still,” the one with the buzz cut said, jerking Casey’s arm hard.

  “Ow!” she cried, being pulled forward.

  I dropped behind the pair of boys, trying to make the least amount of noise as possible. To my dismay, I landed w
ith a thud. They heard me and turned. The buzz cut boy smirked. “I see you want in on the fun.”

  Without thinking, I punched him in the face, using my full force. He let go of Casey in surprise, stumbling back a few steps.

  I silently scolded myself. I needed to stop punching people.

  After I got Casey away.

  I turned to the shaggy-haired one, holding up my fist threateningly. “Let her go.”

  He snorted. “You may have caught him off-guard, but you won’t—”

  I sent my fist into his face, cutting him off. Casey managed to free herself, and started sprinting away, grabbing my arm and dragging me with her. The buzz cut boy looked up at me with a scowl and flipped me off.

  “At least I wasn’t beaten by a girl,” I yelled back childishly, rounding the corner with Casey.

  We scrambled up the crevice, quickly making our way across the rocks, and back to the beach. I kept throwing cautious glances behind me, although I wasn’t too worried. I had taken on a member of a gang before; I could take on two teenage guys.

  We didn’t stop running until one of the chaperones on the trip was in sight. We slowed gradually to a walk, and the finally slumped onto the benches, out of breath. I leaned back, my throat burning. “I hate running,” I panted.

  “Where,” Casey started, taking a deep breath. “Did you learn . . . how to punch . . . like that? I thought you couldn’t even make a fist.”

  I gave a noncommittal shrug of the shoulders and she let it go, too tired to pry.

  I rolled my eyes. “This is why I don’t like the beach. There are tons of perverts around, lying in wait to scoop up girls.”

  She stuck out her tongue. “Not always.”

  I laughed, letting out a sigh of relief with it. At least it wasn’t anything serious. We just had bad luck.

  Suddenly I remembered we hadn’t made it out to the last rock on the rock pier. I groaned and Casey looked at me with a worried expression. “What?”

  “We didn’t get to go on the rock pier!”

  She shoved me hard. “There’s always tomorrow.”

  LESSON EIGHTEEN

  I woke in the morning to the twittering of girls. Scowling, I rolled over and pressed my head into my pillow.

  “I can’t believe it!” Danielle cried excitedly.

  “Me either! Holly! Holly, wake up!”

  “No,” I moaned, covering my ears. “I want to sleep.”

  “Holly, it’s noon. Half the class is already at the beach!” Casey responded, nearly shouting. “Plus, there is something I want you to see!”

  “Trust me, you’ll want to see it!” Danielle added.

  “Come on, get up and get ready!”

  I felt the covers being ripped off of me and I clung to them for dear life. I heard Casey grunt and she yanked harder.

  “No,” I groaned, keeping a firm grasp. “Just a little longer . . .”

  “No!”

  With tremendous force, she was able to pull the comforter off me. I sat up straight, glaring at her. Danielle’s hands were also on the blanket. She dropped them immediately, a sheepish grin on her face.

  “Sorry, but we should go to the beach,” she said, and Casey nodded.

  “Fine,” I said, sighing. “Let me change into some clothes.”

  Casey rolled her eyes. “Fine, but hurry up! And do something with your hair.”

  I gave her a quizzical look. Fix my hair? Why? The wind would just mess it up anyway. I climbed out of my bed and walked over to my backpack, grabbing a fresh pair of jeans and a plaid shirt before disappearing into the bathroom.

  When I reappeared five minutes later Casey gave me an impatient look. I rolled my eyes at her, slipping into a pair of flip-flops. “I’m ready, I’m ready.”

  “Let’s go,” she urged, ushering Danielle and myself out of the room.

  The door locked behind us and I prayed Casey or Danielle had the hotel key. We made our way to the lobby, where a few kids from our class were hanging out in the very comfortable looking recliners. They seemed to be playing catch with a Hacky Sack. Ms. Nichols, the math teacher, was there too, probably keeping an eye on them. She waved at us as we walked by and I returned the wave.

  I yawned as we stepped outside the hotel. A cool breeze nipped at me immediately and I looked at the sky with a frown. It definitely looked like it was going to rain. However, it was still warm enough to be comfortable without a sweatshirt. We trudged across the street that led to the beach and climbed up the boardwalk that went over the dunes. At the top, the ocean suddenly spread out in front of me, stretching out for what looked like forever. I smiled at the sight of it; it was so refreshing.

  A sizable group of people was playing beach volleyball off to the right a little. I caught Casey looking at the group of people with a grin. She looked at me, and nodded toward the group. “Want to go play?”

  I raised an eyebrow. “No?”

  “Are you positive?” she said, grinning even wider. “Do you not see?”

  “Let’s go closer,” Danielle suggested, pushing my back and leading me down the other side of the dune, to the beach.

  I stumbled for a minute, but managed to maintain my balance as she pushed me down the boardwalk. Casey trailed behind us, humming happily. For some reason, I felt weary with their giddiness. I hoped they weren’t planning on a surprise attack on me with water guns or something.

  The closer we got to the group playing beach volleyball, the louder they became. A few people on the sidelines were cheering and the girls playing were making loud, unnecessary squeals and shouts. I scanned over them, wondering why they were so animated.

  That’s when my eyes caught sight of him.

  Were my eyes playing tricks on me? I glanced at Casey, who grinned back at me.

  “Now are you glad you came?” she asked in a smug tone.

  I turned back the group playing volleyball, putting a hand over my eyes to shade them against the small bit of sunlight that was peeking out from the many clouds. There was no way I was imagining things.

  There stood Mr. Heywood in all his casual-clothing glory. He looked super cute in his gray sweater (yes, sweater) and dark-washed jeans.

  But then a girl falling into him blocked his body from view. I narrowed my eyes slightly. Was that an accidental trip, or was it on purpose? Casey’s smile slowly disappeared and she turned to me sheepishly.

  “Okay, well, there may be girls all over him, but he’s here!”

  “I don’t care if there are girls all over him,” I stated stubbornly, crossing my arms.

  “I do,” Danielle interjected, scowling at the girls who stood at a two feet radius around Mr. Heywood. “I mean, you’re supposed to have positions in volleyball! Why are they all standing so close to him?”

  “You jealous?” Casey asked, jabbing her in the side.

  “Yeah,” Danielle admitted without hesitation. “It’s annoying.”

  Something in my gut twisted, and I stared at the ground, biting my lip. It was funny. I was feeling jealous of someone being jealous. I almost laughed out loud at the idea.

  “Let’s go join in then,” Casey suggested, nodding her head towards the game.

  “I’m in,” Danielle said, grabbing Casey and dragging her towards Mr. Heywood.

  “Coming, Holly?”

  I opened my mouth, about to say no, but decided against it. A smirk made its way onto my face. “Yeah, I’ll play.”

  Casey beamed at me; happy I was actually going to play. Volleyball wasn’t my sport. Or anything, really. We trooped over to Mr. Heywood, and he glanced at us briefly but then did a double take. I pretended to be interested in the sand as we got closer. He called for a time out and a resounding chorus of “okay!” came from the girls. Casey stopped suddenly and I nearly ran into her.

  “Hey, Mr. Heywood,” she started and I had to resist the urge to look up. “Got room for three more players?”

  “Of course,” he responded without hesitation. “It’ll make it even, but
one of you will have to go on the other team.”

  I looked up now, raising my hand. “I’ll go on the other team.”

  “You sure?” Casey asked, turning around in surprise. “I don’t mind—”

  “No, I want to,” I assured her.

  My gaze met Mr. Heywood’s for a brief moment before I turned away, ducking under the net and joining the opposing team. Luckily, they were all people I was sort of friends with. Also, Sadie was on this team. She grinned at me, and pointed to the spot next to her. I walked over to her and took it.

  “You’re serving,” she informed me, handing me the volleyball.

  “Um,” I hesitated, looking at the white ball in my hands. “I actually don’t think—”

  Someone blew a whistle and I jumped, nearly dropping the volleyball. I glanced at Mr. Heywood as the whistled bounced against his chest as he dropped it. He smiled in amusement. “Serve at will, Ms. Evers.”

  I took a deep breath, staring nervously at the ball in my hand. I didn’t even remember how to serve! Why had I decided to play again?

  Oh yeah. To try to show up Mr. Heywood.

  But how could I do that when I didn’t even know how to serve? I groaned internally, letting out my breath. Here goes nothing. I balanced the ball on top of my left palm, and curled the fingers on my right hand. As fast as I could, I brought up my right hand, and slammed the heel of my hand into the volleyball.

  Suddenly there was pain in my face and people laughing. My cheeks flamed as the volleyball dropped to the ground after bouncing off my face. I rubbed my nose, avoiding eye contact with everyone. How I managed to hit myself in the face with a volleyball I would never know.

  Scowling, I bent down and readjusted the volleyball onto the flat of my left palm again. This time, instead of looking at the volleyball, I looked straight at Mr. Heywood, who was smirking. I stepped forward with my right foot, exerting my pressure to the swing of my arm. The heel of my hand connected with the volleyball, and this time it went sailing across the net.

  All the way out of bounds.

  Both teams erupted in laughter again, and I heard the sound of a whistle. I hung my head in embarrassment. Discreetly as possible, I stole a glance at Mr. Heywood. He was just about laughing his head off. My face burned again as the other team rotated. Sadie caught my attention and mimicked my motion of hitting the volleyball and then pretending to get hit in the face. Then she mimicked me again, hitting the pretend volleyball, and then looking into the sky, with her eyes shaded by her hand.