A Proscriptive Relationship

by Jordan Lynde

I looked at her in surprise. “How did you know there was a but?”

  Holly laughed. “Chris was right. You’re so easy to read.”

  “I’m not,” I denied, feeling my face heat up.

  “Holly, what’s your but?”

  “It’s nothing bad. I’m just wondering why you broke up with Mr. Heywood right before he was put in jail. Don’t you think that’s a little cruel?”

  “I do,” Holly responded honestly. “I still feel bad about it too, actually. But it’s what I had to do. Being done with the gangster thing meant being done with Chris too. I wasn’t going to make him sit in jail for eight months and come out only to be broken up with. That’s why I did it before he went in. He had time to move on, and so did I.”

  “And you and Mr. Heywood are still friends,” I started, feeling a little confused, “even though you are done with this gangster thing?”

  “He’s a teacher now. I wasn’t expecting to have to deal with gangsters again,” Holly told me. “I’m leaving again so I don’t have to. I still love Chris, just not the way you do.”

  Immediately my face grew hot and I looked away. My first response was to deny it, but I couldn’t. It was the truth. I didn’t want to deny it. But it was still embarrassing to hear it said aloud.

  “I want to be friends with him, and luckily for me, he wants to be friends too,” Holly continued, smiling slightly at my reaction. “Chris is a great guy. He’s never held what I did to him against me; he understands I did what I had to do. He deserves better than me. He deserves you.”

  I looked at Holly, taken aback. “What?”

  “Why do you look so shocked? Holly, not everyone can get involved with a gang because of someone and still love that person. You don’t even seem to care about the danger involved. You don’t even seem phased that he was in jail!”

  “I’m not,” I told her, now growing confused. “Why would I be?”

  Holly stared at me for a minute in disbelief. “You don’t even care the slightest bit?”

  “Mr. Heywood had his reasons, and I don’t blame him for going to save you, even though he ended up in jail.”

  Holly suddenly looked guilty, and she turned her gaze to the floor. “Holly, you’re a much better person than me. It’s funny, you’re younger than me but so much more mature.”

  “Holly,” I started, feeling awkward using her name, “I love Mr. Heywood. If it were any other man in the world, I probably would care that he was in jail, but since it’s Mr. Heywood, nothing matters. Don’t say I’m a better person, I’m just . . . blinded by love,” I ended simply. I didn’t know how else to make my point.

  Holly smiled at me. “I’m glad Chris met someone like you. I can’t tell you how happy I am to see how much you care for him. Thank you for that.”

  “Don’t thank me,” I muttered, blushing again.

  “Now all he needs to do is man up and tell you he loves you!”

  I cocked my head at her, raising an eyebrow. “You know he’s my teacher right?”

  Holly responded to my look with a confused one. “What about it?”

  “It’s not . . . right.”

  “Holly, don’t tell me you’re worried about that,” Holly said, rolling her eyes. “You don’t care about gangsters or prison, but you care about the fact that he’s your teacher? Are you stupid?”

  “N-no! I don’t care that he’s my teacher!” I corrected her, shaking my head. “But so far everyone who knows how I feel about him has been really supportive. No one has been judgmental about it. But I keep waiting for that one person to say something, tell me he’s too old for me, tell me it won’t work out . . .”

  “Is that what you want to hear?”

  “No!”

  “Then don’t worry about it! Anyone who has heard that man talk about you, or you talk about him, or, I bet, even just sees the way you two interact outside of class, knows that you are right for each other.”

  “I’m more worried about the fact that Mr. Heywood is an adult, and I’m an immature teenager . . . I don’t care what other people think, but I don’t want Mr. Heywood thinking that.”

  Holly rolled her eyes. “Please. You’re the least immature person I’ve ever met. I’m positive Chris doesn’t care that you’re still technically a teenager.”

  A small smile spread onto my face. It was nice to hear what I wanted to hear from someone else. “Thank you . . .”

  “You and Chris have only a four-year age difference. My parents have a seven-year age difference. My fiancé is five years older than me. Don’t worry about anything that has to deal with your age. As they say, age is but a number.”

  “Right,” I agreed, feeling oddly refreshed.

  “I hope everything works out for you two.”

  “Thank you.”

  “And I hope you don’t get hurt.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

  “Shawn,” she told me. “Holly, he’s really dangerous.”

  “I know,” I responded, averting my gaze. “I know he is. I know the whole gang situation is.”

  “Promise me you’ll be careful,” Holly ordered. “I don’t want to see you taken away from Chris.”

  A small shudder ran through me. I didn’t like the way that sounded. Taken away? Did she mean killed? Or something like what happened to her that would make me not want to be around Mr. Heywood anymore? No, there was nothing that could make me not love him . . .

  “I’ll be careful,” I said softly. “I won’t be taken away.”

  “Good.”

  Suddenly my pocket started vibrating. Confused, I pulled out my phone to see I had a text message from Casey. Since when did the hospital have cell service? Well, I wasn’t going to curse it. I opened the text and smiled slightly.

  “Is that a text from Mr. Heywood?” Holly asked teasingly.

  I shook my head. “My friend Casey. You see, my friend Lance is in the hospital too . . . he was also attacked by Shawn.”

  Holly’s eyes looked they were about to pop out of their sockets. “Chris involved another teenager?”

  “No, no, no,” I said quickly. “Lance getting shot was completely my fault!”

  Holly gasped in realization. “On the news the other day . . . Dan got put in jail for shooting a teenager downtown. That was your friend?”

  I bit my lip, but nodded my head. I couldn’t lie to her. “That’s the one.”

  “Oh my god,” Holly gasped. “I can’t believe it. Shot? Holly—”

  “I know,” I interjected before she could finish. “Trust me. Mr. Heywood has repeatedly told me how dangerous this is. I’ve got it.”

  To my surprise, Holly chuckled. “I’m surprised Chris hasn’t put a collar around your neck. I wouldn’t let you out of my sight if I were him. You seem like a danger magnet.”

  I blushed slightly.

  “I take it your friend wants you to go visit him before visiting hours are over?” Holly asked, smirking at me.

  I nodded. “Yep. He wants to confirm our plans for a get-together on Friday.”

  “Well, I won’t hold you back.”

  I stood up, straightening out my shirt. Holly smiled at me and I couldn’t help but smile in return. There was something about her that made me want to smile. It was strange.

  “I’ll, um, come visit you again,” I said, fiddling with my fingers.

  “Bring Chris with you too,” she insisted. “I want to talk to both of you together.”

  I scratched the back of my head, forcing out a laugh. To be honest, as much as I liked Holly, I didn’t want to be in the same room as her and Mr. Heywood at the same time. I knew they didn’t have their old feelings for each other anymore, but it would still be weird to me. “I’ll try.”

  “See you, Holly.”

  “Talk to you later,” I responded, giving a small wave before exiting into the hallway.

  I practically jogged to Lance’s room, getting strange looks from some of the nurses. I burst into his room, out of breath. La
nce and Casey both gave me questioning looks.

  “Who were you visiting?” Lance asked. “Casey told me it was your mom’s friend.”

  “This woman named Haley,” I told him, using Holly’s old fake name.

  “Uh-huh,” Lance said, but his eyes held a hint of suspicion.

  Sometimes Lance was too smart for his own good. I gave him a meaningful look that hopefully would prevent him from saying anything in front of Casey. The last thing I needed was to explain who Holly was, especially since Casey had no idea about the gang connection.

  “So here’s what I want to do,” Lance started, sweeping his hair out of his face. “I get out of here on Friday morning. Finally. And there’s a fall festival going on Friday night. I thought it’d be fun if a bunch of us went there to celebrate instead of just going to someone’s house.”

  “There’s a fall festival?” I repeated in surprise. “Where?”

  “Fair grounds,” Casey told me. “They’re going to have a bunch of rides and food booths and later there will be fireworks.”

  I grimaced. “I’m not a fan of fireworks . . .”

  Lance rolled his eyes. “C’mon Holly, the last time you watched fireworks was, like, five years ago. I’m sure it’ll be a different experience now.”

  “Fine, let’s go to the festival,” I responded. “And you’d better hope the fireworks are a good experience, or you might just end up in the hospital again.”

  Lance laughed. “Trying to sound tough, eh?”

  “What time would we be meeting up?” I asked, ignoring Lance’s jibe.

  “The fireworks start at ten, so what if we met up around six?” Casey suggested. “That way we can hang out, do rides, and eat before they start.”

  “Who is ‘we’?”

  “You, me, and Casey, Willis, Sadie and Sam, and Danielle,” Lance told me. “The normal ‘us.’”

  I smiled. “Sounds good . . . it’s been a while since we’ve all hung out together.”

  “It’ll be good to have a night with no worries,” Lance commented.

  “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m pretty excited now,” Casey added, a grin on her face. “I can’t wait until Friday now.”

  “Neither can I. I want to get out of this damn hospital.”

  I laughed, rolling my eyes at Lance. “If you get too overexcited, you might hurt yourself.”

  “I’ll try to be careful,” Lance responded mockingly. “I won’t randomly follow someone into the woods or anything . . .”

  I sent him a glance of death look, which he returned with a smirk. Casey missed the exchange between us completely, which made me feel relieved. She was busy tapping away at her phone, probably texting to Willis.

  “Since when does the hospital have service?” I asked.

  “I don’t know, but I’m not complaining,” Casey responded, still gazing at her phone.

  “It doesn’t matter to me,” Lance said, suddenly sounding irritated. “My phone was stolen . . .”

  Casey glanced up at Lance. “I thought you said you lost it?”

  I shot Lance a warning look, and he quickly cleared his throat. “Stolen, lost, it’s the same thing. It would have still been at the scene if it wasn’t stolen, right?”

  Casey nodded. “True. Whoever has it hasn’t responded to any of my text messages though.”

  Wait, what? Casey was sending text messages to Lance’s phone? My eyes widened and I looked at Lance, who was giving me a questioning look. What if Shawn randomly decided to tell Casey who he was? Or what was going on? I chewed my lip, suddenly anxious. I hadn’t got any messages from Shawn lately, so hopefully he would never message Casey . . .

  Suddenly there was a knock at the door and a young nurse appeared, looking bored. “Visiting hours are over,” she told us. “And, Lance, you have to go to physiotherapy now.”

  Lance groaned, slumping back onto his bed. “I hate PT.”

  I laughed, patting his leg. “Have fun, Lance. I’ll see you Friday.”

  “Bye Lance!” Casey chirped, standing up. “I’ll come back tomorrow!”

  “Bye guys,” Lance said grumpily. “Enjoy your PT free day.”

  I rolled my eyes at him before gesturing for Casey to follow me out of the room. Together we made our way to the hospital exit. The air was cool and crisp when we stepped outside, a refreshing scent after being in the hospital. Hospitals didn’t smell so good.

  “Do you have a ride home?” Casey asked, rubbing her hands together. “It’s cold . . .”

  “Yeah, my mom’s picking me up. Are you going home with me?”

  Casey shook her head. “Willis will be here soon. We’re going to go to the mall for a little bit.”

  I wagged my eyebrows. “How romantic.”

  Casey jabbed her elbow into my side. “Shut up. Oh, look! Perfect timing. Here he is.”

  A small white Honda Civic pulled up next to us and the window rolled down. Willis’s head appeared, grinning at Casey and me. “Hey guys.”

  “Hi,” I responded as Casey made a move for the passenger seat.

  “You need a ride somewhere?”

  I shook my head. “Nope, my mom’s coming. Thanks for the offer.”

  “Want us to wait with you?”

  “I’m good. She’ll be here soon.”

  Willis nodded, glancing over at Casey, who was now in the car. “Then I guess we’ll see you later?”

  “Bye Holly!” Casey called, leaning over Willis to see me. “See you in school tomorrow!”

  “Adios.”

  “See you,” I responded, waving as Willis closed his window.

  As the car pulled away, I caught a glimpse of my mom’s car entering the hospital parking lot. Perfect timing. She drove all the way up to the entrance and I quickly hopped in the car, welcoming the warmth from the heater.

  “Hi honey,” my mom greeted, leaning to give me a kiss on the cheek. “How’s Lance?”

  “Same old, same old,” I responded with a shrug. “He’s doing a lot better. He’ll be out Friday.”

  “That’s good to hear!” my mom responded enthusiastically. “It’s too bad he can’t be out tomorrow so he could come with us.”

  “Come with us?” I repeated.

  My mom looked at me in surprise. “Oh, did I forget to tell you?”

  “Tell me what?”

  “I made reservations at your favorite restaurant. Osaka.”

  My eyes widened. “Really?”

  “It is your birthday, after all,” my mom responded with another smile. “The reservation is for four. I assumed Casey and Lance would be going.”

  “Oh,” I responded, frowning. “Well Lance will still be in the hospital, but I can ask Casey . . .”

  “Or how about inviting Mr. Heywood,” my mom commented in an off-hand way. “As a thank-you for watching you last weekend . . .”

  I stared at my mom in shock. Invite Mr. Heywood to my birthday dinner? That had awkwardness written all over it. “But mom—”

  “Don’t you get along with him?”

  “Yeah . . .”

  “And don’t you think it’s fair to make it up to him because he watched you while I was away?”

  A smile made its way onto my face. If she only knew it was the other way around. “I guess.”

  My mom frowned, glancing at me quickly. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just feel like I owe him, and I thought it’d be fun.”

  “It’s not that!” I said quickly—too quickly. My mom gave me a suspicious look. “It’s just, um, I don’t know. I think it might be awkward.”

  “Well, what about that other guy you’re friends with? Todd?”

  “Todd?” I echoed. “I don’t know any Todd.”

  My mom shook her head. “No, that’s not his name. Charlie? Jared?”

  “Jeremy,” I told my mom. “I’m pretty sure we’ve been over this before.”

  “Oh yeah! Jeremy! Why don’t you invite him too? Will that make it less awkward?”

  K
nowing Jeremy, he’d make it worse. But now I was feeling a little excited. Maybe with Jeremy there, Mr. Heywood would confess . . . I shook my head. I couldn’t get my hopes up. “Okay, I’ll call Jeremy and ask. You ask Mr. Heywood.”

  “Okay,” my mom said, sounding as excited as I felt.

  “Why are you so excited?” I asked curiously.

  “It’s nice to see you having an older male figure in your life,” she told me. “Especially since your dad isn’t around . . .”

  I swallowed, suddenly feeling tense. Was my mom trying to hint at something? Did she think Mr. Heywood was like a father figure to me? A feeling of dread spread through me. I’d be in big trouble if that were what she thought . . .

  “I don’t really think of Mr. Heywood as my dad,” I told her, laughing nervously.

  My mom laughed too, shaking her head. “No, that’s not what I meant.”

  “What did you mean then?”

  “Nothing, never mind,” my mom told me. “Forget I said anything.”

  I frowned slightly, but let it drop. “Okay.”

  “So,” my mom started. “How was school?”

  I responded to my mom’s questions, but my mind was elsewhere. Would Mr. Heywood feel good enough to go out to eat tomorrow? I prayed silently that he would be able to. Maybe if I played my cards right and I didn’t confess, Jeremy would be right and Mr. Heywood would confess first. A small bubble of excitement and anxiousness appeared in my stomach. Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.

  LESSON thirty-two

  “Happy birthday, Holly!” Casey cried, throwing her arms around me.

  “How many times are you going to say that to me today?” I responded with a laugh, pulling her arms around me. This was the fifth time today.

  “Every time I see you!” Casey notified me. “You’re officially a legal adult!”

  “Well, actually, she won’t be an adult adult until she’s twenty-one,” Sam corrected, grinning at me. “But it’s close enough.”

  “Hey, I can be thrown in jail for crimes now!” I said enthusiastically. “No more juvie!”

  “And you can date anyone older than eighteen without any legal problems,” Casey told me with a wink.

  My face grew hot and I looked away from her. “I guess so . . .”