Driving Tempo

by Thomas, Raine

  “That was amazing,” he said, turning to meet her gaze. “You’re amazing.”

  She gave him one of her sweet smiles. “So are you.”

  He enjoyed the feel of her fingers tracing the tattoos on his chest. The innocent stroking felt incredible. He was both content and aroused, a state he wouldn’t mind staying in for a long while.

  “Do you have any plans to add another tattoo here?” she asked, circling the large bare patch of skin over his heart.

  “Someday.”

  “Why are you waiting? Is that area more sensitive or something?”

  “No. I mean, yeah, the sternum hurts more than the muscle around it, but that’s not why I haven’t gotten ink there. I just, well, I feel the area over my heart should be reserved for something vital to me.”

  “That’s a pretty powerful sentiment.”

  “Yeah. I got the idea from Archer when he got the tattoo for Lily in the same place. He got it long before they were romantically involved. To honor their friendship that way...it made an impact. So I figured I’d wait until I knew for sure what in my life deserved that honor.”

  “That’s lovely, Sage. Do you think it might be something related to music?”

  He smiled. “I’d like to think I could live without music.”

  “Ah. So when you say vital, you really mean something you can’t live without?”

  “Yeah.”

  Their eyes met. He saw her approval, respect, and desire. She leaned towards his lips. He reached for her.

  They stopped abruptly at the sound of the suite’s main door opening and closing.

  Sage frowned. “Didn’t you say Garrett was—?”

  The bedroom door flew open. Sage instinctively reached down to grab the sheet to cover them. When he glanced back up to see who had just barged in on them, he froze.

  “Kaila,” he choked out.

  He felt Rosemary jerk as Kaila looked between them, a dark expression on her face. “What the hell is going on here, Sage?” she demanded, stepping further into the room.

  When Spence stepped into the room holding his camera, Sage’s temper fired. “What do you think you’re doing? How did you get in here?”

  “You left a key for me at the front desk,” Kaila said through clenched teeth. “You do it at every hotel, remember? Little did I know that I wasn’t the only one getting access to those keys.”

  The way she looked at Rosemary had Sage moving to try and get between them. “Stop recording right now, Spence, or I’ll tear that camera from your hands and break it to pieces.”

  The House of Archer cameraman powered off his camera and lifted his hands in a show of acquiescence. “Got what I need for now.”

  “Oh, God,” Rosemary whispered beside him. She looked white as the sheet she was holding over her breasts.

  “I’m so sorry, Rose,” he said, knowing there was no way this scene wouldn’t appear on the show. They had both signed releases and this was the stuff ratings were made of.

  “I’m sorry too,” Kaila said as Spence let himself out of the suite. Her tone had gone from heated to genuinely apologetic. “They cornered me in the lobby.”

  Sage’s head spun. “They?”

  “That camera guy and some mid-fifties, overweight guy saying he was the show’s producer. He recognized me from some footage they dug up about the two of us. I guess they created a storyline about our relationship in case I showed up. They told me the show was running low on content and would likely fail to secure a second season if something didn’t come along to shake things up. They said if I wanted to help you and the band that I should bring the camera guy in here with me while I confronted the two of you.”

  “That’s utter bullshit,” Sage sputtered. “The show isn’t low on content. And how did you even know Rosemary would be in here?”

  “The producer seemed sure of it. Besides, you two have been everywhere together lately. It wasn’t a stretch to guess you’d be in here doing what you’re doing.” She shrugged, leaning down to pick up Rosemary’s dress from the floor. “I hope you’ll understand when I ask you to leave now, though,” she said, handing Rosemary her dress. “It’s one thing for Sage to have a sidepiece. It’s another to have to deal with you face-to-face.”

  Rosemary flinched over the sidepiece reference. “O-of course,” she stammered, taking her dress and sliding it on when Kaila pointedly turned her back.

  Rosemary wouldn’t meet his gaze. Sage’s heart cracked.

  “You’re not a sidepiece,” he said, reaching over to try and capture her hand.

  “No, I’m a ploy to get you and Kaila together,” she said levelly, pulling away from him and rising from the bed. “It worked.”

  The words widened the crack to a painful chasm. When she started to walk past Kaila, he lurched to his feet to stop her. The used condom clung to him, a horrid punctuation mark on this disastrous moment. He yanked it off and threw it in the wastebasket so he could follow Rosemary into the living area, not caring that he was still naked.

  “Don’t leave things like this,” he implored as she collected her purse. “You know that’s not what this was. Please, Rose.”

  Her expression, usually so calm or full of cheer, was eerily hollow when she met his gaze. “What I know is that you and Kaila have been together since you were teenagers. You’ve been waiting for her all this time. You’ve been loyal to her. You’ve been so very patient. You’ve been everything a woman could hope for in a man.” Her voice broke, making Sage’s throat tighten painfully. “In one single, selfish act, I ruined that. I never thought I could feel this ashamed of myself.”

  “No,” he said, reaching for her and then easing back when she moved away. “This was a mutual decision. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

  “So you were planning on sleeping with me tonight?” she asked.

  His lips parted but nothing came out.

  “Exactly.” She looked over at Kaila, who watched from the bedroom doorway with Sage’s boxer briefs in her hand. “I’m very sorry.”

  “Thanks,” Kaila said. “Toodles.”

  The completely flippant send-off had Sage rounding on her. “What the hell, Kaila? Why are you acting like this? Have I ever treated the men you’ve been with that way?”

  “You’ve never met the men I’ve been with,” she said, pushing away from the doorjamb and walking over to hand him his underwear. “And I thought I was being rather adult about all this considering I came here to tell you I’m ready to commit to you and I found you in bed with her.”

  The sound of the door closing followed Kaila’s words. Sage looked at the door where Rosemary had just left, then back at Kaila who had finally given him the words he’d been craving for years. It felt like his heart had been lassoed twice and was now being pulled in opposite directions.

  Kaila moved closer, blocking his view of the door. The compassionate look in her dark eyes served as a reminder that first and foremost, they were friends. They’d practically grown up together. They’d helped each other through a great deal over the years.

  “Now you can understand why I wanted to wait until you’d experienced a relationship outside of us before committing to you,” she said, helping him balance as he put on his underwear.

  “No, I don’t understand,” he said, the words feeling like loose gravel in his throat. “Why would you ever think it was a good idea to push me into a relationship with another woman? I said you were all I needed. All I wanted. I had to resort to faking a relationship with someone else to finally get you to respond to me. That’s fucked up.”

  “That was faking it?”

  He growled at her. She held up her hands.

  “Fine. Look, I had to know that you weren’t going into a committed relationship with me wearing those rose-colored glasses of yours. What if ten years down the road you looked back and thought, ‘God, I’ve never been with another woman besides Kaila. I wonder what I’ve been missing?’ It would crush me if we got married and started a family be
fore you had that a-ha moment. This way we’ve both experienced what it’s like to be with other people. We can enter into our future feeling confident that we’re making the right decision.”

  He shook his head. He hadn’t needed a relationship with another woman to convince him that Kaila was the right one for him.

  “And if the plan backfired?” he asked. “If my other relationship does make me question a future with you?”

  She looked away, but not before he saw that his words had hurt her. “Then we’re saving ourselves a future of pain.”

  He needed a minute to collect himself. Suddenly well aware that he was standing in the camera range wearing only his underwear, he walked back into the bedroom and started to redress. Kaila followed him, plopping down on a corner of the bed. Her familiar scent blended with the lingering scent of his encounter with Rosemary. It made him feel ill. He fought against the urge to rub at the lingering ache in his chest.

  As he fastened his pants, he saw Kaila reach over and lift Rosemary’s discarded thong with a single finger. She looked at him with a lifted eyebrow. A hot flush crept up his neck.

  “Give me that,” he said, snatching it from her hand and stuffing it into his pocket.

  “It’s catty of me to say so, but I think that should go into the trash alongside the used condom.”

  He gave her a bland stare.

  “At least you used a condom,” she said, giving him a cheeky smile.

  The sight of the familiar cheerful dimple in her left cheek had some of his anger ebbing. “Enough about my sex life. Tell me what you’re doing here.”

  “What do you mean? I texted you that I wanted to talk in person.”

  In actuality, the text she had sent him the night before had said, I decided I don’t want to have this conversation over the phone. Can we talk in person?

  After running it by all of his band mates, the universal belief was that she was about to dump him. He had spent the past twenty-four hours reconciling himself to that outcome. He supposed that his pending breakup with Kaila had eased his inhibitions around Rosemary. He’d finally acted on the physical attraction he’d felt towards her since the moment they met. He’d also allowed his heart to get involved, ready to begin recovering after Kaila’s rejection. Now here she was, telling him the exact opposite.

  “I thought you meant we’d talk in L.A.,” he said. “I’ll be home in a couple days.”

  “And here I thought it would be a pleasant surprise for me to come and be with you during the last couple of concerts of the tour since it’s the first free time I’ve had all summer. Little did I know that I’d be the one getting the surprise.”

  He didn’t know what to say to that. Guilt layered upon guilt, feeling like heavy chains around his chest.

  “Why didn’t you reply to my last text?” she asked. “Was it because you wanted to spend this time with her?”

  “No,” he said with more heat than he intended. “It really hasn’t been like that with Rosemary. Tonight was the first time.”

  Kaila had the grace to look contrite. “I’m sorry. I admit that when you didn’t reply to my text, I got worried. You always reply. This trip wasn’t actually planned until a few hours ago. I packed a small bag and hopped in the car. I wanted to tell you how I felt before I lost my chance.”

  He sighed and moved over to sit beside her on the bed. “I thought you were going to tell me no.”

  “Really? Why?”

  He looked at her in disbelief. “Why? Because you’ve refused to commit to me for seven years, Kaila. You pushed me to issue an ultimatum about committing to me and dragged out your response to that ultimatum until the last possible minute. Your text message was all vague and dire. Why the hell wouldn’t I assume you were going to say no?”

  She nodded after a moment. “All fair points.” She reached over and placed her hand lightly on his knee. “Look, I know you’ve been waiting for me for a long time. I’ve told you before that I appreciate you giving me the space to grow and find myself as a person. But it really didn’t sink in for me how this was impacting you. I really am sorry.”

  “I know.”

  They fell into silence. Sage’s gaze shifted towards the door. He wanted to go and find Rosemary to make sure she was okay. She had been hurt. He couldn’t bear to see her in pain.

  Kaila’s hand moved on his knee, pulling his attention back to her. They had to have this conversation. He’d been waiting for it for too long to avoid it now. He’d find Rosemary later to make things right between them.

  “I’ve really missed you,” Kaila said, moving her hand back and forth in a way that usually would have caused him pleasure.

  Now, with them sitting on the bed where he’d just had sex with another woman, the caress felt distasteful. He got to his feet.

  “I’ve missed you too,” he said, turning to face her. “But we can’t just pick up where we left off.”

  Her brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean that things are different. You just walked in on me and Rosemary. You said yourself we’ve been doing everything together lately. You wanted me to try out another relationship? Well, congratulations. I did.”

  She also got to her feet. “What are you saying? You no longer want to be in a committed relationship with me?”

  “Yes. No.” He started pacing. “I’m saying that things aren’t as simple as they once were. Apparently you were right to test me.”

  “You’re having doubts?”

  “Yes.”

  The word came out harshly. He could hardly believe he was admitting it. He hadn’t even acknowledged it to himself until then.

  “Yes,” he repeated. “I’m having doubts.”

  He wasn’t prepared for the sheen of tears that appeared in her eyes. She brought her hand up and pressed her fingers to her lips, turning away from him to compose herself. Years of offering her comfort had him moving over to her and pulling her into a hug.

  “God, Sage,” she said between sniffles. “I can’t believe I may have waited too long. You just always made it so easy for me to be my own person. I guess I took it for granted.”

  There wasn’t much he could say to that.

  She looked up at him. “Is there anything I can do to make this work? To convince you that you were right to wait for me?”

  When her gaze moved to his mouth, he put some distance between them. “I honestly don’t know.”

  She blinked, releasing a tear. “Well...what if we spend some time getting to know each other again?” she suggested. “We’ve both changed over the years and our time together hasn’t been very predictable. Is it too much to ask that we try to get reacquainted?”

  “Get to know each other? You mean, like dating?”

  She gave him a watery smile. “Sure. I’ll even treat sometimes.”

  “But no sex,” he said.

  “Oh, I’m all for having sex.”

  She had misunderstood. “I’m saying I don’t want to have sex right away. If we’re using this time to get to know one another again, I’d like to take it one step at a time.”

  Her lips pressed together. She didn’t appear to love the idea but she ultimately nodded. “Okay. No sex until we’re both ready. And I have a condition too.”

  “Sure.” It was only fair that he give her a concession as well. “What is it?”

  “You can’t see Rosemary anymore.”

  He supposed he should have seen that coming. The words felt like they had perforated his chest.

  “But she’s planning Elle’s wedding. And Archer’s.”

  His voice sounded raspy. Kaila gave him a questioning look, prompting him to clear his throat. The painful ball lodged there didn’t budge.

  “Then you can see her at their weddings,” she said. “I’m not going to keep you from attending your friends’ weddings, Sage. But she’ll be busy doing planner stuff and I’ll be there with you, right? So it’s not a big deal. I can be reasonable about this.”

  Odd
ly, he’d never pictured Kaila at his friends’ weddings. She’d had such little interaction with the band over the years that he’d started thinking of them as different parts of his life. There was no sense getting into that right now, though.

  “But outside of attending the weddings, you won’t be in touch with her,” Kaila said. “No meetings, no phone calls, no texting. If we’re going to try and make a clean start, this is the only way it’ll work. Can you do this for me? For us?”

  It wasn’t an outrageous request. Yet the idea of agreeing to cut Rosemary out of his life felt like agreeing to cut off a limb. He wasn’t sure how she’d come to be so important to him in only a few weeks, but she had.

  Which made Kaila’s point, didn’t it? How could he ever really give Kaila a chance—give the two of them a chance—if he dwelled on the relationship he’d more recently developed with Rosemary?

  Could he live without knowing what might have been?

  There was no easy way out of this. He had to commit to a plan of action and stick to it. He either said yes to Kaila and agreed to end everything with Rosemary, or he said no and ended the love and friendship he’d had with Kaila since they were teenagers.

  As painful as it would be, he knew what he had to do.

  He said yes.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  “Do you think everything’s okay with Rosemary?” Sydney asked Lily as they reapplied their makeup during a House of Archer viewing party on the last night of the tour. “She left so suddenly.”

  “I’m sure she’s fine,” Lily said. “I’ll call her soon to check on her.”

  She felt bad for lying to her friend. She knew very well that Rosemary wasn’t fine. After all, it had been Lily who was awakened by her hysterical sister in the dead of night. It had been Lily who had collected her sister and holed up with her in her and Dane’s bedroom, booting everyone else out. She had listened as Rosemary issued a choppy and half-garbled explanation about the best sex and worst mistake of her life, which Lily eventually concluded was one and the same thing. She caught the name Kaila, paired that with Rosemary’s do-me dress and heels and mussed hair, and finally figured out what must have happened.