When Destinies Collide

by Shirl Rickman

  “Fran’s is fine. I told Emme we would meet her there,” she replies as she stares out the passenger window. Then she turns, looking at me. “Is that okay? I could always tell her we’re going somewhere else if that’s what you want to do.”

  I’m so tempted to say yes, but how do I explain why I feel reluctant about showing up at Fran’s? I don’t want to talk about the fact it only reminds me of who I was before and scared I might truly be deep down.

  Selene doesn’t know that guy. She doesn’t know the Drake who pushed the limits of right and wrong. The guy who chased girls, found humor at others’ expense and used his father’s status as a reason and safety net to do as he pleased.

  She also doesn’t know why I did it all. No one knows why. No one knows I did it to create a distraction. That being that person was a way to protect the one right thing I had in my life. The only thing is I still feel the need to not care and live recklessly. It’s what scares me most.

  There are two people who keep me from going completely over the edge. One is a memory, and the other is sitting next to me. I watch her from the corner of my eye as I pull into the parking lot. She begins fidgeting with her uniform skirt and draws my attention to her long tan legs. I snap my eyes back and take a deep breath. I could just hear her if she knew I was having a hard time not thinking about running my hand over the smooth skin of her legs. This is not how friends look at one another, Mr. Thomas! I love when she gets an attitude and calls me Mr. Thomas.

  “Drake, are we going to sit here all night, or are we actually going to get out?” Her question pulls me from my thoughts. I didn’t even realize I had parked. She is hanging halfway out of the door, looking back at me.

  “Yeah…yeah, I’m coming,” I say as I shut off the truck, unbuckling my seatbelt. “Selene, let’s sit in a back booth. Just you and me…Emme and Tommy, too.” I say as I climb out of the truck. I barely hear her answer as I shut the door and walk toward the restaurant.

  She’s beside me, watching my face carefully as I reach for her hand. “Sure, Drake, just the four of us.”

  Selene

  I STRUM MY FINGERTIPS ACROSS the guitar strings. It has been a while since I picked it up and attempted any music. Time has gotten away from me between school and cheerleading. Another three weeks have passed, and as much as things have changed, Drake seems to be the one person in my life that gets I need to go slow.

  I haven’t wanted to burden Aunt Violette, so I 've kept my feelings to myself. I’m still struggling with the loss of my mom and the loss of my home, although Aunt Violette has been amazing every moment since my dad left me nearly three months ago.

  Looking out the window, I notice the sun beginning to set just beyond the trees. I 've heard a melody play over and over in my head. It gives me a sense of comfort and security. Closing my eyes, I let my mind clear and feel the music. I know the lyrics will come to me just as they always have.

  As I continue to play, his face comes to my mind. The way his eyes crinkle when he laughs. The way he says my name, and even the comforting way he takes my hand without asking. It’s like he can tell when I need to know someone is there and cares.

  The last few months with Drake have been everything I 've needed and the only thing that has kept me from drowning in this despair that threatens to consume me at every moment. Suddenly, lyrics play in my mind, so I continue to play. As I play, I sing from my heart while my mind pictures only one person.

  You came into my life

  When I didn’t want anyone around

  I feel so out of control

  It’s like I don’t have a choice

  Of the direction my life is taking…

  Then you’re there

  I can feel I need you

  And you’re there

  All I need is you

  And you’re there

  I want you to be here with me…

  The beating of my heart tells me yes

  My mind says no, so I say just friends

  I can see you struggle, too

  Keeping that smile on

  So I can’t see the truth

  And you say just friends.

  There is a sense of relief as I write the last word and set my music journal down. Leaning back against the pillows that line the window seat, I look out at the dark, star-filled sky. For the first time in a long time, I feel a little lighter and less burdened by my emotions. I may not be perfectly happy, but I’m definitely happy. This is the first time since Mama passed away I don’t feel guilty about feeling something other than sorrow. It’s almost like Mama is connected to bringing me here and to Drake. I just need to figure out how I can be honest about my feelings other than through my music.

  Drake

  I’M BEGINNING TO GET NERVOUS. Life has been a little too calm, even considering how I feel every time I’m around Selene. When she is around, I feel anything but relaxed. I’m comfortable and happy, yes, but far from being completely at ease with my feelings for her.

  I glance over at the clock on the wall. There are thirty minutes left of this class, and as usual, I’m ready to come unglued. She will be standing outside of her classroom. She will be talking to that asshole, Jared. If I thought I could get away with murder, I would have killed him the first day I saw him speaking to her.

  The worst part is he knows it bothers me. He knows I want her for my own. She just doesn’t know I want her. I’m pretty sure if she did she would run the other way. I just can’t let that happen. Friends are what we will stay for as long as she needs us to be, because being nothing at all is out of the question. For now, we’ll just be complicated.

  Before I know it, the bell is ringing, signaling the end of class. I practically jump out of my seat, stumbling in the process, and bolt toward the door. This is pathetic, the way I’m running to meet a girl, but I don’t care. For the first time in my life, I’ve found something real.

  Just as I’m about to round the corner, I feel a hand on my arm. I look down at the fingers that are wrapped tightly around my forearm before looking up at the face they belong to. Abby Donovan.

  She is looking up at me, batting her eye lashes. I would swear on my life she practices this exact expression in front of a mirror every morning before school. “Drake Thomas, I've been waiting long enough for you to stop ignoring me. When are we going to pick up where we left off?”

  I stare at her in disbelief, but really, can I blame her? If I’m really honest, she is talking to the old Drake, the only Drake I ever let anyone know. It isn't her fault I’m not that person any longer. She doesn’t know me. She never did, but I never let her…or anyone.

  Prying her hand off my arm, I say as gently as possible, “Abby, look, I’m really sorry for the way I treated you in the past. While it was fun for a time, I think I’m going to pass. You deserve someone who really cares about you.” I feel good about what I just said, especially since I actually meant every word.

  I realize that as good as I feel and as honest as I’m being, Abby Donovan doesn’t give a shit. She looks pissed. Fuck. “Excuse me, Drake Thomas. How do you know what I deserve, you stupid asshole? You will be sorry for tossing me aside.” She disappears as quickly as she appeared at my side.

  I look around me, and most people are staring in my direction. The whole school will know about this little scene before I even make it to my next class. Shit! Speaking of the next class, Selene is probably waiting for me.

  With Abby completely forgotten, I dash down the hall and around the corner when suddenly I stumble to a stop. Selene is giggling, and Jared is standing entirely too close to her. I have that sudden urge to pummel him into the floor again. They are looking at something, and I can see he is easing his way closer to her. She doesn’t even realize it at first because she is so caught up in whatever they’re looking at on her phone.

  My body goes completely rigid, and I begin to count to ten to get my anger in check. She is not mine. I need to cool down. Plus, she wouldn’t like it if I knock thi
s guy over. We’re friends. Just as I finally begin to feel myself relax, Jared chooses to make a mistake. I watch as he takes another step closer to Selene and sets his arm over her shoulders. Instantly, I recognize the change in her body language, all humor gone. Stepping the last few feet forward, I quickly take her hand and pull her to me. She resists me a little at first, before she recognizes me, and then I feel her relax.

  “Hey!” I say as a look of relief comes over her face. “We better get to class.”

  I glance over her head and notice Jared is standing with a fixed stare on his face. He is pissed at me again for interrupting them. I haven’t figured out what his game is, but I will, and then I will make sure he understands he will never win Selene. Or hurt her the way he hurt Lacey. I’m not sure what it is about him that blinds girls to him, but he was the one thing Lacey and I never agreed on.

  Looking down into Selene’s green eyes again, they seem to have a lovingness in them that I’m unused to seeing. “Yeah, I think we better.” Her voice is still a bit shaky, and I can’t help but wonder what exactly changed between her laughing and Jared putting his arm around her. As much as I didn’t like him touching her, that is all he did, and not even in an aggressive way. “See you later, Jared,” she says calmly, giving a friendly look.

  I don’t really get this girl sometimes. The more I get to know her, the more I realize I don’t really know anything about her. Glancing at her from the corner of my eyes, I notice her face is a bit tight again, but her hand feels relaxed in mine. I squeeze it a little, and she looks up at me. I see something in her eyes and realize she trusts me. This makes me feel so good and so scared at the same time. She is so beautiful. I can’t ruin her like I ruin everything else. I also can’t let her go completely. The little voice in my head reminds me—just friends.

  I need the reminder because she suddenly releases my hand and loops her arm around mine, pulling me closer to her. I smell her sweet scent and listen for the voice again, but this time it’s different. This time it whispers one simple word: more.

  Selene

  I DON’T REALLY MIND JARED. I can tell Drake doesn’t like him, but I sort of enjoy his sense of humor. He definitely makes that hour of my life more interesting. Everything was fine; we were watching an amusing video he told me about while I waited for Drake. Then he stepped just a little too close and put his arm around me. I have never been comfortable with someone being in my space with the exception of my mama, Ryan, and now Drake.

  It took me years to let Ryan even stand close to me. I just feel unsafe…uncomfortable. So when Drake pulled me to him, my first reaction was to pull back. Then I saw it was him, and everything in me softened. Now, as we walk down the hall, I can tell he noticed. He won’t ask, but he wants to know. I can tell by the way he keeps looking at me he is struggling to stay quiet.

  I know everyone is looking at us as we walk down the hall, holding one another like we belong to just each other. In a way, I want to yell, Yes! This is exactly what it looks like! But I know it's not, and I wonder if it ever can be. I look up at him and he smiles at me, so I smile back. He is so beautiful it almost takes my breath away. I can’t fathom how we got here. This relationship, whatever it is, has my emotions all over the place. I’ve never been more confused. I don’t know what to think or feel, so I stay quiet and lean into him. I only know I feel safe when I’m close to him.

  Suddenly, Drake is bumped from his side, and we are both taken off guard, so we stumble into some lockers. He pulls me to his side and turns our bodies so he is the one who makes contact with the locker.

  “Tommy, I swear, dude. One day I’m going to kick your ass.” Aggravation is apparent in his voice and on his face before he glances down at me. His voice is gentle as he says, “You okay?”

  Before I can answer, I hear Tommy and say, “Dude, no wonder Abby is spitting fire! You two are practically groping one another in front of everyone!” he says, pointing at me and Drake, except I don’t really care he is talking so loud it’s practically echoing through the hallway. I lost focus of everything after I heard the name Abby.

  Who the hell is Abby? And why is she pissed? I gaze over at Drake’s face and notice he has turned a bright shade of crimson and is staring at Tommy like he might kill him.

  “Shut the fuck up!” he says under his breath, and I can feel his whole body is completely stiff now. “Abby Donovan and I had one little fling last year. It was nothing more, so she has no reason to be pissed.” Drake looks at me from the corner of my eyes, so I keep my face neutral as if I’m completely unaffected by the conversation. “And Selene and I aren’t groping one another, we just…we’re just friends.”

  Even though I know I’ve said we’re just friends from the beginning, I can’t help but feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. I pull away from Drake. I just can’t help feeling hurt, and I know it’s completely irrational of me.

  “We need to get to class,” I utter before turning for the classroom door.

  “Jackass!” I hear Drake say to Tommy before he catches up with me. “Selene, I’m sorry he said we’re basically making out in front of everyone.”

  Really? Is that what he thinks I’m upset about? I stop as I near the row of desks I usually sit in and raise my eyes to meet his. They are so green I can’t help but think of springtime. I could get lost in his eyes without even realizing it.

  “Is that—I’m not upset. The bell is about to ring, and I didn’t want to be late. Speaking of, you should get to class yourself. I will see you next period.”

  I take a seat and notice Drake has stopped at the door. He’s looking straight at me as if he is trying to figure me out. I put on my best smile and lift my hand in a wave. For the first time, there is an awkward tension between us. He raises his hand in return and gives me an unsure look. Drake is uneasy, and it’s my fault. I acted ridiculous because even if he does have something going on with this Abby girl, I have no right to say anything. I did say we are just friends.

  Drake

  I SKIP OUT ON THE rest of the school day. I try to pretend it’s because we don’t have football practice tonight, but in reality I didn’t want to face Selene. I’m not sure exactly why, but she started pulling away the moment Tommy mentioned Abby.

  Of course, I’m not sure I helped any because I felt completely guilty, and I couldn’t hide the fact I was uncomfortable myself. I’m probably making everything worse by avoiding her, but I just have to. I want more, although I know I shouldn’t. It’s harder and harder to deny as each day passes, so I need a timeout.

  As I pull up to the cemetery, I’m almost instantly comforted. I swear each time I pull up here, Lacey knows exactly what I’m feeling, just like she did when she was alive. I know it’s a little strange. We were connected just as most twins are thought to be, but there was an even tighter bond because of what we had to endure each day.

  I turn off the truck and start to make my way to the gravesite when I hear the crunching of gravel and soft rattle of an engine. I know it’s her before I even turn around. How did she know where to find me? I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat. I can’t make myself turn around, even when I hear the car come to a stop and the engine shut off. Not even when the door opens and closes.

  Frozen in place, I just wait. I’m not even sure what I’m waiting for, but I still can’t make myself move. Her gentle touch to my shoulder causes a spark to run down my body.

  “Drake?” she says softly, as if she is afraid. “I’m sorry.”

  Sorry? Her words confuse me. What is she sorry for? I can’t imagine, but she has nothing to be sorry for. I need to make her understand.

  I whip around so fast it knocks her hand off my shoulder, and she takes a step back. I don’t understand her. As soon as I look into her eyes, I know I’m making her nervous. She is on edge, and I want to be angry at her for that, but I push those feelings down. I want all of this to be easy between us. I hate she still has moments of unease with me.

  “
Selene, why are you sorry?”

  She runs her hand through her long hair, which has more of a wave to it than there was this morning. I remember one time she said the humidity hated her hair, but I know at this moment her tousled hair is my favorite look. I’m suddenly picturing myself running my hands through her hair, pulling her toward me and meeting her rosy lips with mine.

  “Because I made everything awkward between us when everything was going so perfect,” she says, interrupting my thoughts. “I ruin—”

  “No,” I say, shaking my head. “You didn’t ruin anything.” I want to shout, but I stay quiet. “I’m sorry. I acted guilty when Tommy mentioned Abby, and you were only reacting to me.”

  Shaking her head, she takes a step toward me. “I acted crazy because of me, not you.” She turns her back to me so I can no longer see her face. “I—shit!” I’m about to tease her when she continues. “I never have…” I step closer to her.

  “You never what?” I ask her.

  “Shit, Drake, I’m jealous, okay! I’m jealous out of my mind, and I have no right to be because we’re just friends!” Selene blurts out.

  She’s jealous. I didn’t see that coming. I mean, not really. I hoped, but I didn’t think it was possible. I wanted everything to feel less awkward. I wanted everything to be just as it was before today so I did the only thing I could think to do. I reached down and took her hand in mine.

  Leading her through the gates of the cemetery, we walk in silence. She doesn’t resist me in the least, and she doesn’t ask questions. Selene just took my hand and allowed me to guide our way around every headstone until we reached the one that meant something, everything to me.

  Tightening my grip on her small hand, I glance over at her and find her staring down at the name written in perfect script across the headstone, tears filling her eyes. Following her gaze, my lips tip up at one corner.