As I move, her hand tightens on mine. “Drake, no,” she whispers. I look back at her, and I can see the plea in her eyes. Her eyes leave mine, and they return to him. “Hello, Ryan,” she says, and it’s as if those two words wedge their way between us.
Selene
WHEN HIS NAME LEAVES MY lips, I want to shout at him, but everything comes out in a whisper. Drake looks ready to kill him. They were here alone. Ryan. Why is he here? As I watch the boy I’ve known my whole life, I realize he never really knew me at all. Maybe it’s my fault, but maybe he never actually tried to see anyone but who he wanted me to be. The happiness I felt when I saw Drake standing at the top of the steps has vanished, and I’m reminded of another time. A time when I didn’t trust. A time no one saw me. A time when I had my mother.
Ryan starts walking toward me, and I can’t move. I’m not even sure why I’m not moving or saying something to him…like go home. I just can’t form the words. When he is standing directly in front of me, I feel a sudden tug on my hand. It startles me, and I pull away and step closer to Ryan. When I glance behind me, Drake is standing there with hurt in his eyes. His hand is still suspended in midair toward me. Shit! I was so lost in thought I’d forgotten he was there, holding my hand. I just stare at him too, unable to form any words. This entire moment has sent me spiraling into an uncomfortable place. I feel so out of control.
Breaking my thoughts, I hear Ryan say my name again. “Selene?” I look over at him. “Are you alright?”
I glance at the face that is supposed to be familiar and comforting, but there is nothing. He puts his hand on my shoulder, and I immediately look over at Drake. A grim look on his face, I can see the slight quiver of his lip. He is angry. I brush Ryan’s hand away from my shoulder and face him.
“Selene, I’m going to take these things in the house,” Aunt Violette says from somewhere behind me. “If you need me, I’ll be in the kitchen.” She walks past me, leaving me alone, stuck between my present and my past. One of Aunt Vi’s greatest qualities is to keep her nose in her own business. I can only nod before turning my attention back to the boy in front of me.
“What are you doing here, Ryan?” I ask in a harsh tone. Before he can answer, I continue. “I mean, you walked away months ago and never looked back.”
He shakes his head. “No—no, I looked back but you were gone. You are the one who never looked back.” He tries to step closer and raises a hand, letting it linger in the air close to my cheek. I can see he wants to touch me, and I freeze. Ryan glances over at Drake. “Are we really going to do this with him here?”
Again, I peek out of the corner of my eye at Drake. He is watching me. I can see he wants me to say something. I just can’t find the right words to make him understand.
Shaking his head, Drake turns and walks away. I step toward him, and I’m almost positive I see a tear slip down his cheek. I start to say his name, but no words come out. He doesn’t turn around, and I don’t stop him. This isn’t the way I imagined this day going. I planned on telling Drake how I felt. How I trusted him. I was going to tell him I’m his no matter what anyone says or does to come between us. Looking back at Ryan, I know this is the first test. I’m always being tested, and when I take one last look at Drake as his truck disappears down the road, I know this is one I can’t and won’t fail.
With tears in my eyes, I face Ryan. “I’m going to ask you again. Why are you here?”
I watch the expression change on his face. He isn’t used to me using this tone of voice with him. I’m mad at him. Mad for the way he feels about me. For the way he tried to make me feel guilty for not feeling the same. For the way he walked away and let this come between our friendship.
Ryan closes his eyes and sighs. “I came because I missed you. I had to see you and see if you were alright. I came because my feelings haven’t changed.” I take a step back.
Shaking my head, I turn and walk to the porch, taking a seat on the steps. Ryan doesn’t move at first. He just watches me. I know he is waiting for me to say something. I know he wants to hear something has changed. My heart speeds up. Something has changed, but it isn’t what he wants to hear. “Some days, I missed you too, especially in the beginning. You’ve been my best friend since we were five years old, but you left me when I needed you most.” I look up at him. He is now kneeling in front of me, his hand touching mine. “You asked the impossible. I love you, but not like that, and you knew it. You were selfish. She left me, but it wasn’t her choice. I needed time. You were supposed to be there, but you left me. You were the only two people I had in my life, and you chose to walk away.” I wipe the tears from my cheeks. It feels good to let that out. I feel like a weight has been lifted.
“Selene, I was wrong. I—I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t deal with you slipping away.” He stands up again and starts pacing. “I needed you to open your eyes and realize you had me.”
I swiftly stand up. “Are you kidding me? Have you always been so selfish, and I didn’t see it?” I want to scream. “You made your choice and…and you need to leave! I need to go find Drake.”
Ryan takes ahold of my arm as I whip around and head toward the house. “You can’t be serious! You‘re going to walk away from me to find him? You barely know him, and you’ve known me practically your whole life!” I can feel the desperation in his grip. I look at him, feeling only a dull sadness for the boy I once knew.
“I know him, and he knows me. I’m sorry if this hurts you. You’ll always be special to me, but things are different now. You made that choice.” I hug him while he just stands there with his arms at his side.
Turning back to the house, I run up the steps. I never look back. This time I’m the one who walks away, but it doesn’t hurt so much. This time I don’t feel like I lost everything, but like I finally found myself.
Drake
“THERE’S SOMEONE ELSE,” I WHISPER to her.
Leaning my head back, I try to grasp what just happened. I thought life for me was changing. I should’ve known something good could never come to someone so bad. Deplorable—that is exactly what my mother has called me over and over for years. Destructive was what I strived to be on a daily basis for most of my life. Bad until the only good I knew died. After that, something in me changed, and I couldn’t pretend any longer. The problem with not being bad anymore is it was already too late. I did too much to ever come back from. This is why Lacey was taken from me and why Selene can never be mine, no matter how much I want her.
“I don’t deserve her anyway.”
“Drake?” I hear my name, and although I know it’s impossible, for a moment I hope it’s Lacey. I lift my head instantly, looking around for her smiling face. Lacey’s face is not the one I see though. It’s Selene. Her eyes are puffy and red from crying. I’m on my feet so fast, walking toward her before I even realize what I’m doing.
“Did he hurt you? I will kill him if he hurt you?” I reach her, pulling her against my chest. She pulls back and looks up at me, shaking her head.
“No, Ryan is…” she says with tears in her eyes. I pull her back to me, holding tight like she might disappear if I don’t keep her close.
“Selene, I don’t care who he is. I just wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened to you.” God, she feels so good against me. She isn’t mine though; she belongs to someone else.
“Drake, Ryan would never hurt me. We’ve been friends since we were five years old. Plus he says he loves me.” I burn with jealousy at those words. She continues, “He ruined that though. Ryan couldn’t accept the fact I didn’t return his feelings for me, and then he turned his back on me when I needed a friend most.”
I’m not sure I heard her right. “He was only your friend. You don’t love Ryan?” I’m not even sure I mean to say it out loud. I’m flooded with relief by her words. She pushes away from me and turns her back.
“Drake, I’m sorry I didn’t stop you from leaving or if I gave you the wrong impression about me and Ryan. I ju
st needed to speak with him—alone.” She faces me. I can see the lingering hurt in her eyes.
“Selene, don’t—”
“No, I need you to understand. I need you to know you mean more to me than—you deserve more than how I treated you. You have given me so much since I came here. I trust you completely. I’ve never trusted anyone the way I trust you except for my mama.”
At first I wasn’t sure I heard her right. She trusts me. I mean something to her. It’s like she knew every doubt I’d been feeling. If I didn’t know better, I would have sworn I could hear Lacey laughing like she did when she was right about something.
Before another doubt can enter my mind, I reach out for Selene and grab her hand. “You have nothing to apologize for, and I need you to know I trust you more than anyone too.” I place my hands on the sides of her face and wipe the one tear that escaped with my thumb. “I need you to know that…”
Before I can say another word, her mouth is covering mine. Kissing her is something I may never get used to.
Selene
IT LOOKS AND FEELS LIKE any other Monday morning in the crowded hallways of Montgomery High. Football is over and, therefore, my cheerleading days have ended. We’ve made it a habit to meet directly after school.
I make my way toward my locker as usual, my eyes darting in every direction, eager to make contact with the dark green eyes I’ve grown so accustomed to seeing each morning. My heart speeds up a little. From the very first day of school, this has been my routine. There is only one thing different about this day. Drake and I have moved past the simple pecks on the cheek and handholding, completely away from the friend zone I so comfortably enjoyed for months. The one place I safely tucked my heart, utterly incapable of opening it up to the possibilities of more.
I should’ve known the moment I found myself flat on my butt looking up in his unreasonably handsome face I didn’t stand a chance. I gave it a good fight, but in the end, my heart knew better. I would have to trust him. He has been the only person capable of keeping me on solid ground. I felt the connection that first day, and it has only grown stronger.
Suddenly, there is a strange sensation running up and down my arms. I can feel him even before I see him. I’m not sure how, but Drake has brought out a side of life that defies all reason. All the walls I put up around myself have slowly begun to crumble, and there isn’t anything I can do about it. The moment my eyes meet his, I know it’s about more than what I can see on the outside and is undeniably about the vulnerability and understanding I see when I truly look at him. He gets me, and if I’m honest, that is what scares me most.
A smile spreads across his face as he pushes his way toward me. When we’re only inches apart, he takes my hand, pulls me into him, and brushes his lips across my forehead. “Good morning.” He breathes against my skin.
Typically, this kind of affection would make me uncomfortable and send my defenses into high alert, but today everything is different. Drake quickly turns and leads me through the crowd to my locker. As soon as we squeeze past the last group of students, I notice Emme leaning against the wall with an all-knowing expression. It’s like she has been waiting for this moment.
Pushing away from the wall, Emme turns in the direction of our class. “Bout time. See you in class.” She says all of this over her shoulder as she walks away from us. I stare at her in disbelief until I finally I can’t hold back the amusement I feel. I don’t even know how I became friends with her.
Shaking my head, I look over at Drake and realize he has been watching me. Suddenly, I feel the heat in my cheeks, and there is no doubt they are an attractive shade of crimson. I’m sure I’ll never get used to him looking at me as if I’m the only other person on earth.
Without thinking, I quickly lean in and give him a light peck on the cheek. “See you in class,” I whisper as I pull back and dash away from him before he can even react. As I look back over my shoulder, I notice he is still watching me, his lips turned up in one corner.
Drake
I FEEL FREE. NO…NO, that isn’t the right word. I feel lighter. Yes. The weight that has been pressing down on me has finally lifted, and it's all because of her. Her name plays through my thoughts as I round the corner, and my eyes land directly on her sweet face. It’s as if she senses me, because her gaze raises from the conversation she’s having with Emme and lands directly on mine. A look of content on her face. I’m positive it’s only a reflection of my own. I feel happy.
Before I even know what is happening, I trip over something and lose my balance, flying forward and landing flat on my face. “Have a nice trip, Drake?” Jared’s voice echoes through the now silent hallway. The silence means two things. One, the entire student body is staring at me. Two, they are all waiting to see how I’ll react.
I look up and see Selene making her way over to me. She comes to a sliding stop when she notices my facial expression. I slowly rise to my feet and turn to face that piece of shit.
“What’s your fucking problem, Jared?” I move toward him, but before I can act, I feel a light touch on my shoulder.
“He isn’t worth it, Drake. Just let it go. Please.” I stop. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, allowing her gentle touch to settle the nervous energy running through my body. I’ve wanted to beat the shit out of Jared from the moment Lacey came home and told me he was her boyfriend. I never did.
“I should beat your ass, you coward. I should do it for all the shit you pulled with Lacey over years. Dammit!” He continues to smirk at me.
“He isn’t worth it. Please,” I hear her whisper behind me as her hand moves down my arm and into mine.
She gives it a light tug, causing me to open my eyes and turn. Feeling the anger still moving beneath my skin, I keep my eyes averted from hers. I’ll never look at her in anger. The crowd around us instantly dissipates moans of disappointment the fight didn’t happen. Fights in the halls of Montgomery High were a phenomenon in this small, quiet town.
I keep my eyes focused straight ahead, although I can feel her gaze trained on my face. “Are you mad I stopped you?” she quietly asks.
I stop suddenly, all anger I felt toward Jared draining instantly at the uncertainty I hear in her voice. Turning toward her, I place my hands on either side of her face. The skin is so soft under my calloused hands.
“God, no, Selene. I just fucking hate that guy. This feud between us is something that has been between us far before you ever came into the picture. I’m mad at him. Not you. I don’t think I could ever be angry with you.” Slowly, I place my lips against hers.
Usually, I would worry about her reaction to me showing this kind of affection in front of people, but I just can’t bring myself to care right now.
Selene
FOR ONCE, I DON’T RESIST Drake’s affections or pull away at his insistence on public displays of affection. It feels natural. Nice. I close my eyes, savoring the way his lips feel against mine. It’s like I’m flying. Just when he begins to pull back, my feet touch the ground again, firmly in place.
The buzzing of voices surrounds us, and still we are the only ones who matter. “Thank you,” he says as he places one last peck against my forehead. Taking my hand again, he pulls me along with him to where Emme and now Tommy are talking near my locker.
“Dude! Why the fuck didn’t you punch that worthless piece of shit?” Tommy asks once we reach them. I can feel his eyes on me with a knowing look, as if I ruined all his fun.
Drake shakes his head. “Just let it go, Tommy. Punching Jared isn’t worth getting suspended from school, especially because I’d be stuck at home all day with my mother.”
My body automatically reacts at the thought of what would have happened if I had not stopped him. Tommy makes some typical response any teenager would make about being stuck with a parent at home all day. I don’t think he has any idea Drake’s situation would be anything but normal. Looking over at Drake, I can see his thoughts are the same as mine.
“Let’
s get to class and get this day over with,” Emme chimes in, tugging at Tommy’s arm.
I look over at Drake, shrug my shoulders, and pull him in the same direction our friends went. He closes his eyes and follows willingly, but I don’t miss the demons that creep into the depths of his eyes. If he wants to hide his fears, I’m definitely not the person to judge or force them to the surface. Especially when I have a hard time facing my own.
Drake
I QUIETLY WALK THROUGH THE back door, into the kitchen. She is home, and I’m hoping to avoid running into her before I make it up to my bedroom. This is my life.
Tiptoeing my way through the hall, toward the stairway, I can hear movement in the study. I practically hold my breath as my foot touches the first step.
I’m only on the third step when I hear someone behind me. I know it’s her. “Why didn’t you tell me your little friend is a Chandler?” Her voice sounds cold and hard when Selene’s last name leaves her lips. I don’t even need to turn around to know the facial expression that is undoubtedly placed on her face.
Slowly, I pivot to face her. “What do you mean by that?” I ask her, trying to hide the tremble in my hands. Something feels off. Wrong. Why would it matter what Selene’s last name is?
“I know the name. It’s all you need to know. That and the fact you will no longer remain friends with that girl.” The venom in her tone almost has me cowering back from her. It’s like she slapped her hand across my cheek. Before I can respond, she continues, “I’m surprised Violette has let…never mind, just keep away from that girl. If you don’t, I can promise you it will be your biggest regret.” With that, she turns on her heel and returns to the study.
When Destinies Collide Page 15
