My mind is racing with thoughts, trying to make sense of what just happened. I’m not surprised by her need to control who I’m friends with since it’s something she has always done. I’m more confused by her apparent disdain for Selene, in particular. What did she mean she knows the name? And why did she mention Mrs. Durham?
I lower myself onto the steps, my head falling into my hands. One step forward and three steps back. Just when I think everything is clear between Selene and me, another obstacle is put in front of us. This isn’t just my mother being controlling. It’s more, and I need to figure out what it is before everything is ruined.
Selene
THE BELL RANG NEARLY TWENTY minutes ago, signaling the end of the day, yet Drake still hasn’t made it to our usual meeting spot. I’m worried. This isn’t like him. When I think about it, he has been acting strangely since I spoke to him Monday night on the phone. Everything had been wonderful that day, minus the almost fight with Jared, but Tuesday morning I sensed something was different. He was holding back a little, and as the week has gone on, its only gotten worse.
I’ve played the week over and over in my head, trying to figure out what could have caused him to act this way. I even asked him if something happened between him and his mother, but he denied anything was wrong.
I look around, wondering if I should wait, but then I see him. He is walking slowly toward me with his head down. I feel the urge to run to him and wrap my arms around his waist, giving him the comfort he appears to desperately need. I push those thoughts back as he looks up, his gaze locking with mine. Unable to turn away from the intense way he is staring at me, I begin to walk toward him.
Once we are standing only inches apart, Drake reaches for my hand, pulling me against him. We stare at one another. I can see he is hurting and worried. “Dra—”
Before I can finish, his lips crash against mine. I can feel every bit of sadness pour from him in that kiss, and I gladly accept it. I want to take away all of his heartache. Every disappointment. Every worry. He wraps his arms tighter around me and moves his lips to my cheek, my neck, and then back to my mouth. It feels as if we’ve been here for an eternity, and I still don’t want it to end.
He holds me hard against his chest, his face pressed into my hair. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
What is he saying? I don’t understand. Why is he apologizing to me? I try to push against him so I can see his face, but he just holds tighter.
“Don’t. Just listen,” he whispers. “My mother questioned me about you, wanting to know why I didn’t tell her your last name is Chandler. I asked her why, and she said I didn’t need to know, but she made it clear she wanted me to stay away from you. I’ve spent this entire week trying to figure out why and how I can protect us from whatever issue she has, but I haven’t been able to figure anything out. I know I’ve been acting…”
I push against him. There is no way I’m letting him do this to himself. “No, Drake. Stop,” I say as his embrace loosens. “Stop doing this. I don’t care about your mother. We’re fine. There isn’t anything she can say or do that will change this. Do you believe that?”
He looks at me for a long time. “Yes. Okay. I just don’t want you to be hurt.” He hugs me again then says, “I’m just afraid of what she meant. You didn’t hear her voice. It was as if she knows something that will change everything.”
Even as a chill runs up my spine, I say, “Nothing will change what I feel for you.”
Drake
I LOOK OVER AT SELENE as I drive her home and see a smile play across her lips as she sings a Miley Cyrus song playing on the radio. Looking at her makes it easier to ignore the unsettled feeling in my stomach. It still lingers, but I push it down. She is so fucking cute I don’t even make fun of her for singing Hannah Montana at the top of her lungs.
“I know everyone says how crazy and gross she is acting now, but I love this song,” she says, her gaze never leaving the passing landscape. I grin, watching her out of the corner of my eye. Suddenly, she bursts into the chorus again. “I came in like a wrecking ball…” Then she breaks into a fit of giggles. “Love it!” She beams as she looks over at me. When she sings, the happiness I see is how I always want her. I smile back, but a nagging feeling is punching me right in the gut.
As we pull into her driveway, I notice Mrs. D on the porch. She is rocking back and forth, lifting her hand in a wave. We roll to a stop, and Selene leans across to kiss my cheek. Looking up at me, she puts a mask on her face to hide her real emotions. It dawns on me she is feeling my anxiety and trying to help me focus on something other than what my mother might be up to.
“Wanna come in?” I know I shouldn’t draw any attention to the fact I continue to spend time with Selene, but when I look into her eyes, I can’t resist her request. I can see she needs this. She needs reassurance I won’t let my mother keep us apart. I can get out right now, but I’m not sure I can guarantee she won’t come between us in the future. It’s the one thing that actually frightens me about my mother; she always wins.
“Sure, for a bit,” I say, noticing the light in her eyes brighten.
As we get out, Mrs. D stands up, making her way toward us.
“Hello, you two. How was school? Are you hungry?” Selene reaches the top of the steps and places a kiss on her Aunt's cheek.
“School was school,” she answers, and then she turns to me as I step up onto the porch next to her. “Are you hungry?”
“Have you ever known me to turn down food?” I ask as I nudge her in the shoulder. She laughs, and the sound pushes more of the worry out of me. She has a way of making me forget anyone else exists in our world. Grabbing my hand, Selene pulls me toward the screen door.
“There are some cranberry scones I made this morning on top of the fridge,” Mrs. Durham calls after us. I hear her shuffling about on the porch. I think about the fact my mother said something about Mrs. Durham. I wonder if she knows what my mom's issue is with Selene.
When we head to the kitchen, I take a seat on one of the barstools at the counter while Selene pulls the scones down from the top of the refrigerator. As usual, I’m overwhelmed by the comfort I simply get by being in this house. I think Lacey must have felt it too, and it’s why she loved coming here. This house embodies everything ours lacks.
The beep of the microwave pulls me from my thoughts. The smell of the warm scone makes my mouth water. My stomach releases a little rumble. Selene looks up from spreading butter over the top crust of the scone.
“I heard that,” she says.
Walking over to me, she places the scone in front of me. As hungry as I am, my hunger for her is stronger. I reach across the bar for her hand and guide her around until she is standing in front of me. I reach up behind her neck and pull her mouth to mine. When our lips meet, the scone, my mother, and her threats are forgotten. It’s only the two of us, and an undeniable feeling all is right with the world when we’re together envelops me. This is all that should matter, and that’s why I need to find out whatever threatens to ruin it, and destroy it.
Selene
DRAKE DOESN’T THINK I KNOW he is still worried. As his lips touch mine and he deepens the kiss, I can’t help wanting to put everything I feel for him into it. Even though I can’t quite come to terms with exactly what that is. I mean, I know I have never felt these feelings before. I can’t even begin to imagine giving my trust to any other person. I’m unsure if I’m ready to think beyond where I am at this point. I do know without a doubt I need to hold on tight and not let him worry about whatever his mother’s issues are with me or let that come between us. We need one another, and there isn’t anything that can change the way I feel about him and my need to have him in my life.
“Okay, okay!” I chuckle, trying to push away from him, even though I love the way his lips feel on mine. “The scones are much better warm, and I’m hungry!” I playfully slap his hand away as he tries to pull me back to him. He gives me that Drake Thomas smile, the one
that stole my heart the moment I saw him. “Drake, stop it right now!” He puts his hands in the air and begins to back away.
“Alright, whatever you say,” he says, still giving me a look that tells me if I didn’t move back to the other side of the bar, he would have his hands and lips on me again.
Shaking my head, I pour both of us a glass of milk. How did this impossibly handsome guy end up kissing me like I’m the only girl in the world? The thought of us being together is one I will probably never get used to. It defies all logic in my mind.
I take a seat across from him, eating our scones together quietly, only exchanging lingering looks. He seems more relaxed, but I still feel this strange sensation something could change at any moment. I can’t let that happen. I have come too far from the girl I was when I arrived here nearly six months ago, and I never want to be her again.
I look at him, and I can tell his mind has drifted off to a place that isn’t good. A crinkle has formed between his eyebrows, and he is staring down at the crumbs left on his plate.
I reach my hand across the bar and lay it over his. “Drake.” I wait for him to look at me, and when he doesn’t, I say his name again. “Drake.” This time his gaze rises to meet mine. I see he is trying to hide the worry that lies beneath the green hue of his eyes. “Drake, I need you to promise me something.” He just stares at me then nods. “I need you to promise me you will never let anything or anyone come between us. I need you to fight for us, protect us, because no one has ever done that before.” I don’t know why I’m saying this. Maybe it’s the look in his eyes. Maybe it’s the fact the anxiety I see surrounding him seems so high, and the people I care about are always taken from me. “Can you promise me that?”
He stands up and moves to the other side of the counter. Placing his hands on either side of my shoulders, he lifts me up until we are standing face-to-face and he is looking down into my eyes.
“I promise to protect you and whatever this is between us. I may not know exactly what it all means yet, but I can tell you that you are the most important person in my life. Do you understand? I will never let anyone hurt you, Selene. And my mother…”
I place my fingertip over his lips and shake my head. “Shh, you said enough. I don’t know what this is either, but it’s important to me. I don’t care about your mother and her schemes or cruelty. I just care about this—about us.”
As he pulls me against him, I can feel his breath coming quickly against my ear. “This is all I care about too. I gotta go.”
Letting me go, he takes a step back and turns away quickly. I barely catch a glimpse of his face, but I would swear he looks scared. I want to reach out to him, but I realize that isn’t what he wants or needs. “See you tomorrow,” is all he says as he leaves the room.
I listen to the rush of his boots across the wood floors, the slamming of the screen door, and his polite goodbye to Aunt Vi. I lower myself back onto the stool and begin rubbing my fingertips in small circles over my chest, trying to rub the flutter of anxiety I feel there. I’m not sure why I feel so nervous. We’ll be okay. Why can’t I just let things be and enjoy them while they’re good? I need to put this feeling aside because Drake promised, and if there is one thing I’m confident about, it’s the fact he would never break a promise.
Drake
I’M SCARED. I’M SO AFRAID I just lied to the one person I feel I can be honest with. It wasn’t intentional. In fact, I believe with every fiber of my body I’ll fight for us, but I’m not as sure I can keep anything from trying to come between us. And I’m definitely not sure I can win a fight with my mother.
As usual, when I enter the house I hold my breath, hoping I can make it to my room, my sanctuary. For some reason, she never actually comes in there. I’ve never questioned why because I’ve always been too afraid it might change. I make it to the top of the stairs when she comes out of her bedroom at the end of the hall. Her gaze is so cold it freezes me mid-stride, and I know this isn’t good. A sick feeling settles in the pit of my stomach as she stalks toward me. The muscles in her shoulders are so tight she reminds me of a captain in the army about to give punishment to his subordinates.
Before I can move, she reaches me, and her hand swings back. “You little idiot!” Her hand connects with my cheek so hard a vibration of pain runs through my jaw into every bone, sending me into the wall. “I promised you would regret this, and you will.”
She begins pacing in front of me. I can’t do anything but stare at her, unable to understand what this all means.
She continues, “For some reason, you and your father can’t seem to control yourselves around those Durham women. I thought I was finally rid of that family and then this…this girl shows up and falls all over you.”
I’m trying to follow the direction of her words, but she is rambling, and I can’t exactly connect her thoughts. She is saying something about Selene’s family…she said Durham though. And something about my father. The nervous feeling in my stomach I’ve had for a week just intensified. I remain silent because maybe she will continue talking. It may be the only way I can find out why and what she has against Selene.
She stops in front of me again, a look of contempt spreads across her face. “Do you know what is so funny about this whole situation? You both are such fools, giving your hearts to two women you’ve inadvertently hurt so badly they can never forgive you. You ruined your chances with that girl before you even met her. A simple mistake because you’re a selfish fool. She’ll never forgive you when she finds out.” She practically spits in my face.
My heart stops at her words. My mind racing, grabbing at any memory of what I may have done that Selene cannot forgive me for—and before I knew her.
“I guess that will be punishment enough. She’s not worth it anyway, especially being Elizabeth Durham Chandler’s daughter.”
She steps around me. My eyes don’t even follow her. I don’t move until I hear the front door close, and then I slide down the wall to the floor.
I pull my knees up and rest my head on my folded arms. I can’t lose her. I promised I would fight for her, and the only way to do that is to know exactly what I’m up against. I’ll never get a straight answer from my mother. Maybe my Dad. Perhaps Mrs. D. And maybe I’ll need both. Either way, I need to find out before Selene does.
Selene
SOMETHING IS WRONG. OFF. DRAKE hasn’t answered his phone for over three hours. Maybe it’s nothing. I’m not sure what it is, but the uneasy feeling is strong. Sitting out on the porch in the cool night air, legs folded under me, I shiver from the breeze that is coming in from the north. Winter is in full effect, but the cold weather has rarely made an appearance. As usual, the Texas weather cannot make up its mind, and multiple seasons in a week are not unheard of.
Staring out over the back lawn, my mind wanders to the first day we met. I remember watching him cross the lawn, effortlessly carrying old boxes for Aunt Vi to put in the shed.
Even from my window, I could see his eyes held something special, something that was going to change me. God, how I wanted to avoid this feeling. It only felt wrong then because I had never experienced this kind of feeling before that day. And I wonder now if I will be strong enough to handle the way I feel today.
The tapping of my fingers on the wooden arm of the chair grows more rapid as I begin to open up to those feelings. The way my heart races when he is near. The way I fall asleep thinking of him, and the fact he is still on my mind when I open my eyes. He consumes my every thought. Just imagining being away from him hurts. Oh, shit. Shitty shit shit! My fingers freeze mid-tap.
Abruptly, I stand up and cover my heart with my hand as if it will protect me from what I’m only just now realizing. Something I’m sure my heart knew long before my mind ever did. I…I…oh, shit. I need to go. I rush into the house to grab my coat and the keys to the car. As I rush back out the door, I yell out to Aunt Vi, “I’m running out for a bit. I won’t be back late.”
I’m out
the front door before she even answers and in the car headed to the one place I can think clearly. The one place I can trust my feelings are safe until I can figure out just exactly what to do about them. Maybe it’s for the best Drake hasn’t picked up his phone.
Drake
“YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH Selene’s mom?” I repeat the words in my head, even though they just left my mouth. “I thought you and Mom were married when you were eighteen,” I say as a statement more than a question, since I already know the answer.
He stares out the window of his office, a distant look in his eyes. “Elizabeth Durham was my world from the moment I laid eyes on her.” He pauses, but I can tell he isn’t finished, so I remain quiet. I’m not sure what I would say anyway. “We met at the Fourth of July parade the summer I turned sixteen. She had just moved here to live with her Aunt Violette, and I knew it was meant to be. We were inseparable.”
I sit down in one of the armchairs in front of his desk, laying my head on the back of the chair with my eyes closed. I’m not sure what to say or feel, so I continue to wait for the rest of his story. Maybe then I’ll know what this means for Selene and me.
“I’m sorry, Drake. I failed you as a parent. Not just you, but Lacey too.” He turns to face me, and I see tears in his eyes. “I ruined all of our lives.” He stops long enough to clear his throat that is now clogged with tears. I can only stare at the man who typically seems so in control and unemotional. “It’s my fault your mother is the way she is…” This is the first time he has ever acknowledged my mom was anything but the perfect mother she always portrays herself to be in the public eye. In fact, it is the first time, when I honestly think about it, he has ever actually acknowledged my mother.
He continues, “You see, Elizabeth left to visit NYU in New York City over winter break of our senior year. I didn’t want her to go, so we argued, and she told me this wouldn’t change anything between us, but I told her it changed everything. I told her not to go, and she left anyway. There was a party while she was gone, and…I was angry and drunk. I slept with your mother. I betrayed Elizabeth. I betrayed myself.”
When Destinies Collide Page 16
