Shaking his head, he lowers himself into his chair behind his desk. I sit staring at him, struck by the fact I’ve never thought of my dad as anything other than my father and the mayor of Montgomery. It’s weird picturing him as an average, teenage boy in love.
“When she came back, we told one another how foolish we were for arguing. She said she realized she could never leave me. I was expected to go to the University of Texas at Austin. Anyway, we were more stable than ever, or so we thought. Your mother kept quiet about our tryst, and I tried everything I could to forget, but a month or so later, your mother told me she was pregnant. Once our parents found out, they forced us together. My father said I had to break things off with Elizabeth. I broke her heart, Drake. I broke mine in the process, but I broke her heart so badly she had Violette take her out of school. I tried to make her understand, but how could I when I couldn’t understand myself?”
The more he says, the more sadness I feel. I can’t explain it, but I have a whole new perspective of my parents’ lives. My father stands up and walks around the desk, kneeling in front of me.
“I know I seem cold and distant. I’ve never been the loving father you deserve. I know I haven’t protected you, and I never protected your sister. I’m so sorry. I not only ruined Elizabeth, but your mother lost all of her dreams. She knows if I had a choice…Drake, I’ve never regretted you or your sister. So, you see now, right? Your mom has tried to make me happy, but it’s me. Every time I would see Elizabeth as the years went by, my feelings…she died that night and…” I look up at him, and I now feel numb. He isn’t scary or strong. He is weak.
Abruptly, I stand, and he leans back as I look down at him. “No! Don’t you dare try to make me feel sorry for Mom! Don’t ever attempt to make the things she has done to me and Lacey over the years not her fault. She made choices too. People’s lives don’t always go the way they want, but that gives them no right to hurt others.” I swallow the knot in my throat. “As for you, I can’t even look at you anymore. You were supposed to be our father. You stood by and watched us die a little more inside each day. You were allowing her to drag us down with you both!” My whole body is trembling. “I…I gotta get out of here.”
Reaching the door, I throw it open, leaving Mayor Gregory Thomas sitting stunned on the floor of his office. I can understand the way he felt for Selene’s mother and his heartache. I even know why my mom said my father and I were alike when it came to the Durham women. That isn’t what scares me. The thing that scares me is she’ll be right about the last part, that I have done something so unrepairable Selene will never forgive me. But what could it be?
Selene
IF I’M HONEST, I WAS hoping he would be here. Instead, I’m sitting all alone against his sister’s headstone, talking to myself. There is something about sitting here though, a sort of peace I typically only have when I’m with Drake. Her presence surrounds me, encircling me in a blanket of understanding that seems to be nudging me to open up.
I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. “I’m not sure why I’m really here or what I was expecting.” My mouth curves at the corners, and a small bubble escapes. I’ve spoken to my mama many times, but for some reason, for one tiny second, I feel silly.
“Sorry. I’ve never felt this before, and I most definitely have never admitted to this kind of feeling. It’s just I trust him, I do, but I needed to come here first.” I stop talking, letting the silence settle over me. “Maybe I came to tell you first because it’s easier for me to say to someone who is not really here than it is to say it to someone who can reject me. Plus, you were the closest person to him, so I feel almost as if I’m saying what I want to say to Drake.”
Shaking my head, I release a frustrated sigh. Why can’t I just say what I feel? I’m tired of being afraid. Afraid to live. Afraid to be happy. I want those things, and I finally see I deserve those things, thanks to Drake. Picturing the way his face lights up the moment our eyes meet makes my heart skip a beat. How can I deny this any longer?
“I love him, you know. I do.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I feel relief but also a sudden worry. I admitted it before to myself, but it seems almost like now that I have said it out loud, it makes me more defenseless against Drake’s mom. It makes me more at risk of being hurt. It’s the one thing I’ve always been afraid of the most.
The relief I feel at finally realizing what my feelings are for him has disappeared. I understand I asked him to fight for us and never let anything come between us. What if I can’t return that promise? The only thing that will help push these feelings aside is if I talk to him. I need to find Drake and speak to him. Looking down at my phone, I find two things. One, it's really late, and two, Drake still hasn’t called me back.
Drake
PICKING UP MY PHONE, I only just realized I left it sitting on my dresser. When I got home the night before from my dad’s office, I immediately crawled into bed. Selene called half a dozen times, and my heart tugs at the thought of her looking for me. I hope she isn’t worried. She left one message, so I play it back. The sound of her voice is happy yet timid as it echoes back to me through the phone. God, I hope she’ll be as happy once this mess is over.
Without thinking, I dial the one person who can help me finish piecing this all together and put this behind us. Hopefully. “Good morning, Mrs. D. Oh, Selene isn’t home.”
Even though I didn’t call to talk to her, I wonder where she could be. Maybe this is the perfect opportunity to talk to her aunt without her around. “Actually, I called to speak to you.” She gives me her usual playful remark. “Will you be home? Because I would like to do this in person.”
Her voice turns a little more serious, and I can tell she knows this is more than a casual request. “I would really like to talk to you face-to-face if that’s okay. Great, I will see you in a few minutes.” We hang up, and I hurry down the stairs. Once I get this over with, I can find Selene.
Selene
MY EARLY MORNING RUN DID very little for my nerves. I slept last night, my mind racing with thoughts of Drake. Also, I had a hard time pushing away these negative feelings that seem to keep creeping into my thoughts. Typical Selene. I won’t let my insecurities ruin this for me.
For once, I decided to take control and follow my heart. Sitting in front of Drake’s house, I debate if it’s a mistake to show up here this early. Actually, I wonder if it’s a mistake to come here at all. Nope. It’s not happening. I will not allow myself to sabotage this relationship.
Stepping out into the cold, I race across the street and up the walkway. The weather continues to change, and I can smell the rain in the air. Another storm is coming, and with it being cold, that won’t be pleasant to be caught in.
Standing in front of the door, I count to three. Then I count to three again, trying to work up the nerve to knock on the door. What if he doesn’t answer the door? What if he is still asleep? So many questions and what-ifs, but I’m determined to do it. I have waited long enough, and the feeling I’m racing against time to tell him how I really feel seems to be weighing on me.
I lift my hand and knock hard three times. I knock so hard my hand is the same scarlet color as the door. After a few minutes, it opens swiftly. To my disappointment, Drake isn’t the one to answer the door, although I see a resemblance. His father. He is an older version of Drake. The same color eyes as the ones I love so much. Same hair, but slightly graying at the temples, which only makes him more attractive. I realize neither of us has said anything yet. We are both staring at one another, lost in our own thoughts. I begin to fidget under the intensity of his stare.
Finally, I clear my throat. “Uh, hello, Mr. Thomas. Is Drake available?” I hold my hand out. “I’m Selene Chandler.”
I see something spark in his eyes, but it’s gone before I can figure out what it is.
My hand is still hanging between us when he finally speaks. “Ah, yes.” He takes my hand in his for a moment then releases it. “Drake isn’t hom
e. I’m not sure where he went so early, but he left about fifteen minutes ago.”
His voice is surprisingly kind. He is still gazing at me with an expression I can’t quite describe. “I can tell him you stopped by.”
I realize I have been staring at him too. “Oh, uh…yes, please. I’ll try calling him too.” He just continues to stare.
Pushing a strand of loose hair behind my ear, I give him my brightest smile. “So, I guess I will be going. It was…uh…very nice meeting you, sir.” I turn, leaving him standing in the doorway, and head back down the walkway.
I barely hear him when he says, “You look exactly like she did at your age.” The statement, so ordinary and innocent, stops me mid-stride. “It was nice meeting you too, Selene.”
I quickly turn before he can shut the door. “Who?” I ask loudly. “I look just like who?” I say again.
When I look at him, there are tears in his eyes. “Your mother, of course,” he says pragmatically before closing the door.
The door is already closed. “You knew my mama,” I finally say as more of a statement than a question, and to no one in particular since I’m alone.
I watch the door for another few minutes before walking back to the car in a confused daze. Drake’s dad knew my mother. I don’t know what this means, but that uneasy feeling has returned to the pit of my stomach.
Drake
WE STAND FACING ONE ANOTHER in the kitchen, anguish and sorrow written across Mrs. Durham’s face. “Yes, Elizabeth was in love with your father. They were inseparable for more than two years. Everything your father told you is true.”
I swallow hard and turn away from her pitying eyes. Then I feel a hand on my shoulder. “Drake, that shouldn’t change anything between you and Selene,” she says gently, but I can hear the “but” lingering in her voice.
“There’s something more, isn’t there?” I say, almost so quietly I’m not even sure I said it out loud.
Her hand leaves my shoulder, and she steps around the counter. When I face her again, she is pouring a cup of hot tea, the steam rising and the scent of lemon filling the air. I remain silent, just watching her, because I can tell she is gathering her thoughts.
“You know that day you showed up on my doorstep, I wasn’t sure I could look at you. I may be tough, but I’m a southern lady, and we’re always polite.” I can see her mind drift to that day for a moment before she continues, “Then I looked into those eyes, and I could see something familiar.” She blows into her cup and takes a tiny sip.
My eyes begin to tear. “Lacey?” I croak.
Giving her head a slight shake, she sets her cup down again. “No, loss and pain. Maybe even guilt. I saw everything I’ve felt since the day they were taken away from me, so I knew I could look at you because if I couldn’t, then how did I look into a mirror each morning? I knew you were sent to me so we could help one another heal.”
There is so much I want to say to her, but I can’t seem to form the words. I can’t make complete sense out of what she is saying. “Everything appeared to be working out nicely until Mike brought Selene and practically left her on my doorstep. Then you two met, and I thought to tell you then, but I couldn’t. I knew from the moment you knocked her on her butt and she began that girlish stuttering you were going to save one another.”
A tear slips down her cheek. “I knew I would need to tell you both at some point, especially after we ran into your mother at the market. She had that look in her eye, especially when she realized who Selene was. I just wanted to be sure you both could see this all has nothing to do with you. I wanted you to know this love and friendship between you is worth fighting for. I especially wanted to be sure Selene knew because, although you both have a tendency to hide that side of you, she tends to hold back more.”
She looks up at me, and I’m more confused. I was right. This is more than just the fact our parents were in love.
“Drake, the other car—the other driver in that accident with Lacey. It was Elizabeth. It was Selene’s mother.”
I feel like I have just been punched in the stomach and the breath has been knocked out of me. I take a staggering step backward and hit the wall. Mrs. Durham steps around the bar and moves toward me, a gentle, understanding look on her face.
Shaking my head. my voice trembles. “No—I—Lacey had been drinking…I left her alone, and I was mean to her. I was trying to protect her from being hurt by Jared…from my mother. I left her. She never drinks, but she did that night.”
A sob escapes me, but I continue. I’ve never said any of this out loud. “I hurt her anyway. Then she got in the car and came after me. She knew I had been heading to a party out on Mill Road. She just wanted to be with me, and I left her. I wanted to protect her, but I didn’t. I allowed her to feel unloved and alone. She got in that car to look for me, and she died! She died, and she killed Selene’s mother, too. And the worse part is it’s all my fault!” I shout at no one in particular through the sobs leaving my body.
Through my screaming and crying confession, I never heard the front door open or her footsteps in the hall. I only hear her gasp from behind me. Mrs. D’s eyes go wide, and she reaches her hand toward Selene, saying her name. I turn and find Selene staring at me, tears and heartbreak reflecting my own. I can’t move; I only watch her. Mrs. Durham freezes too as Selene shakes her head. I hear my mother’s words echoing in my head. They can never forgive you. This is the one thing that is unforgivable.
Selene
I STUMBLE TO THE CAR and get in without thinking. I don’t even want to think about what I just heard, but it’s on repeat in my mind. I’m trying not to think about what this all means. There are two people I’ve felt I can’t live without. One is dead, and the other…. Oh, God…this can’t be happening.
I fumble with the keys in my hands before sticking them in the ignition and throwing the car into drive. As I speed out of the driveway, I see Drake run out the front door and jump off the porch. Aunt Vi is close behind him and calling my name. They are both shouting for me to stop, Drake’s voice begging for a chance to explain. I keep going.
I can barely see through all the tears, and I’m gripping the steering wheel hard, as if it’s the only thing holding me together.
The convertible top is down, and it’s starting to pour down rain, but I don’t care. I can’t stop. If I stop, then I’ll have to face what I heard. The tormented look I saw on Drake’s face makes me want to turn around, but what would I say? He would want to explain, but what could he say that would change any of this? What could he say that would bring her back? Nothing. He can’t tell me or do anything to change what happened. He can’t change the fact he is slightly responsible for her being taken from me.
The windshield wipers are barely helping now, and I’m soaking wet. My hair is sticking to my face, and my clothes are clinging to my body. I know it must be cold, but I’m so numb it doesn’t even matter to me. All I care about is getting away. I know I’m going too fast, especially since it’s raining so hard. I may know, but it doesn’t change anything. If I slow down, then I’ll start to feel again, and that can’t happen.
Suddenly, my phone rings, and without thinking I look at it lying next to me in the seat. I see Drake’s name light up on the screen. I put the phone up to my ear as I steer the car with one hand. “Leave me alone, Drake!”
“Selene, please. Selene…please stop the car!” I can hear the panic in his voice. “Please, you’re driving too fast, and the rain…and I need to explain. I…I…please just stop the car.”
I begin shaking. Hearing his voice makes me feel like I might crumble into a million pieces.
“How…”
Before I can finish, the car hydroplanes. Without warning, I’m sliding back and forth across the two-lane highway. As I scream, the phone flies out of my hand. I can’t stop it.
I can hear the muffled sound of Drake yelling my name into the phone, which is now somewhere on the car floorboard.
All at once, I
come to a stop, my head slamming against the steering wheel. The last thing I remember is thinking, How can I forgive you?
Then everything goes black.
Drake
I CAN BARELY SEE THREE feet in front of me, Selene’s taillights are my only indication I’m heading in the right direction. I’m scared because she is driving too fast. I beg her to slow down. I beg her to let me explain. My voice is trembling, and the knot of utter despair I have felt since I turned around and saw her standing in the doorway is only tightening. Suddenly, I realize she isn’t going to forgive me—she isn’t hearing me.
“How…” This is the last word she says before I hear her frantic screams and see the faint lights in front of me make volatile movements across the road.
All at once, she is losing control. “Selene!” I shout into the phone, knowing my words are futile in helping her. “Selene!” My foot pushes the gas a little harder as I grasp the fact she is no longer on the road in front of me.
The rain only seems to be coming down harder when I notice her car slammed into a tree on the side of the road. It’s at that moment I know I have done it again.
Pushing against the brakes, I come to a sliding stop on the shoulder of the road. I don’t even turn off the car as I swing the door open and jump out. As I dash around the front of the truck, I put my hand up to block out the blinding headlights and the rain. I slip and fall to the ground. I practically bounce off the asphalt because I’m back on my feet again. I need to get to her.
When Destinies Collide Page 17
