Love Beyond Reason

by Sandra Brown

  She went into the kitchen. Something in there would distract her, calm her down, she hoped, so that she could start acting like a rational person again and not a quivering blob of jelly.

  She raised the lid on the pan of simmering spaghetti sauce and sniffed the delicious aroma. She was replacing the lid when she heard soft footfalls and knew that Jace was standing behind her. She dropped the aluminum lid, and it clattered onto the range.

  Before she could retrieve it, one of Jace’s arms came from under her arm, picked up the lid, and replaced it securely on the pan. She felt his chest pressed against her back.

  His other arm came from behind her to join the first. He slipped both under her blouse, and, with one swift motion, unclasped the front fastener of her bra. Pushing aside the wisp of lace and nylon, he cupped her breasts in his hands.

  “It got you all hot and bothered, didn’t it?” He was nuzzling the back of her neck under her hair. The tip of his tongue explored the velvet smooth skin behind her ear.

  “What?” she croaked. His hands were kneading her gently, then flattening her with pressing palms.

  “The sight of my nakedness. It’s been known to cause quite a disturbance. Why, when I was in Africa, the sight of me walking down the street was enough to make the parents of nubile daughters tremble in fear.” His voice was barely above a whisper, entrancing. He moved closer, and his thighs rubbed against the backs of her legs and hips.

  It was hard to articulate anything, but Katherine kept up the inane conversation. “Y-you walked naked down the street?”

  His hands pushed her breasts together, forming a deep cleavage, and he raked his thumbs over the aroused nipples.

  “Of course. In some African cultures that’s a matter of form. No pun intended.” He caught her earlobe between his teeth.

  “Well, this isn’t Africa.” She sighed as his hands moved over the flat planes of her stomach. “And I’ll thank you not to… oh, Jace.”

  He turned her to face him. The cerulean eyes were full of resolve as he lifted her and carried her through the living room to the bedroom which, until now, had been used exclusively by him.

  Gently and carefully he lowered her onto the king-size bed. He stood up and whipped the towel from around his waist, dropping it to the floor as he lay down beside Katherine.

  He smoothed back the hair from her flushed cheeks and brushed light kisses on her temple. “Katherine, I’m going to make love to you.” He wasn’t asking permission. It was a statement of intention. He kissed her tenderly, drawing on her tongue with persuasive insistence.

  He gloried in each part of her body as it was revealed to him. He removed her clothing with practiced skill and maddening leisure, frequently stopping to nibble and caress.

  When he eased the bikini panties down her long slender legs, he whispered endearments in praise of her body that Katherine could never have imagined coming from anyone’s lips.

  He stretched out beside her and held her tightly against him. Slowly the tension in her body ebbed under the soothing strokes of his fingers. Their arousing exploration coaxed her to participate. Her head was thrown back against the pillow, her chin raised, allowing his seeking mouth access to her throat.

  His lips settled on her mouth, kissing it with infinite passion and tenderness. His tongue searched its sweetness even as his hands traversed her body. His lips were still resting on hers as he whispered, “I don’t know what you like. Tell me if—” She sealed his words inside by capturing his lips with her own. If this were an example of things to come, there was nothing she wouldn’t like.

  His mouth trailed across her cheek to her ear and teased it with soft, warm breath and a darting tongue.

  His hand caressed her from her shoulders, across her breasts, and around her waist. His fingers stroked the silkiness of her inner thighs, and a liquid fire ran through her from his fingertips to the very center of her being.

  “Your skin is like velvet,” he murmured. He eased his hand back and forth across her feminine cradle. “Remember the night I put you to bed?”

  “Yes, Jace,” she breathed. His hands were a vivid reminder.

  “I wanted to touch you like this then.” He rested his hand on the soft tuft at the top of her legs. “I’m glad there’s nothing between us now.”

  Her ragged breath was trapped inside her mouth by his plundering kiss. She clasped his head on either side of his jaw just under his ears and moved his head downward.

  “Jace,” she pleaded, “kiss me here.” She placed his head against her breasts.

  He kissed the soft curves. His tongue outlined their undersides until she was writhing with longing. When she felt his mouth close around her nipple, she heard herself moan in ecstasy. He pulled on her gently, then raised his head slightly and used only his tongue to assuage the aching bud.

  She clasped his shoulders and explored the hard muscles under her fingers. She became braver and slid her hands between their bodies, combing her fingertips through the hair on his chest and curiously examining the small brown nipples nestled in it. It delighted her to hear his quickening breath.

  “Ah, Katherine, you’re so sweet,” he said as his fingers discovered the moist warmth between her thighs. Her sighs echoed his.

  “Now?” he asked with lips that nibbled hers. “Now?”

  She nodded and his plunging kiss was symbolic.

  He raised himself above her and found the treasure he sought. He fit his strength into her softness and applied a gentle pressure. When he met the unexpected veil of resistance, he paused and looked down at her with a bewildered expression. The urgent hands on the back of his thighs and her arching hips entreated him not to linger in his purpose.

  The initial pain vanished, and Katherine submitted to the thrill of the experience. She blocked out every conscious thought, anything that would dim the lightning fury of the sensations washing over her. It no longer mattered what his name was, or who he was related to, or that they came from different worlds. All that had import was that her body was one with his. It was not only a physical fusion, but one of the spirit as well. She belonged; it was right.

  Even though he was the first, Katherine knew him to be expert. He encouraged her, praised her, adored her, made love to her with words as well as his body. He kissed, nibbled, licked, caressed, stroked, breathed her. It went beyond mere consummation.

  When she felt herself slipping into some uncharted but seductive oblivion, she cried, “Jace! Jace!”

  “Yes, darling, yes,” he whispered in her ear. “Katherine, sweet Katherine, give in to it.”

  And she did.

  * * *

  “A virgin?” Jace asked in awe as they lay side by side, holding each other close. “I’m married to a twenty-seven-year-old virgin.” He shook his head at the wonder of it all.

  “Not anymore,” sang Katherine as she snuggled closer to him, if that were possible.

  “Hussy!” He slapped her naked bottom playfully. “Now I suppose you’ll be wanting to do this all the time,” he sighed in feigned resignation.

  She giggled and supported herself on her elbows while covering his face with wet, smacking kisses. He began tickling her ribs until she fell backward, and moments later she collapsed helplessly under his weight. He looked down into her face and laughed softly before taking her mouth with his.

  Locking her hands behind his neck, Katherine drew him closer to her, welcoming their return to passion. He stroked her neck and moved his questing fingers to her chest before settling them possessively on her breasts.

  He drew back from his ardent kiss and gazed at her breasts even as his fingers traced a path of arousal. He watched as the nipples tautened under his manipulation. “Fascinating,” he declared as he leaned down and kissed them gently.

  His hand moved lower onto her flattened abdomen. Just then Katherine’s stomach growled ominously. Jace chuckled, “Are you hungry?” He pulled away from her.

  “Yes,” Katherine groaned, straining toward him. Th
e inches between them seemed to stretch into a gulf. “But not for food.”

  “Come on,” he said getting up from the bed. “Let’s eat.” He pulled on a pair of gym shorts and a T-shirt that covered only his shoulders and the top half of his chest, leaving his midriff bare. “I’ll be offended if you don’t do justice to my highly acclaimed spaghetti sauce.”

  “I’d rather stay in bed,” whined Katherine.

  “So would I, but from now on, Mrs. Manning, I’m going to make sure that you retain a high energy level. You expend it in such a marvelous way.” He grabbed her arm and dragged her up to her knees on the side of the bed. He buried his face in her neck as he held her close, moving his hands up and down her back.

  “Katherine?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Do me a favor?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Wear that shirt you had on the first day I came here. Your painting shirt. Tie it up the way you had it then. Okay?”

  She pulled away from him and looked into the glinting blue eyes. “That’s the favor?” she asked.

  “Not all of it,” he admitted mischievously. “Don’t wear anything else except bikini panties.”

  “Jace!” she huffed. “That’s indecent.”

  “So? I’m not going to tell anybody. Are you?”

  “You’re incorrigible,” she whispered, planting a kiss in one of the dimples beside his mouth.

  “And you love it,” he answered huskily. Then he pushed her unceremoniously backward on the bed and said, “Hurry up. I’m hungry too.”

  When Katherine joined him in the kitchen wearing the prescribed outfit, he turned to face her and appraised her lecherously. He came to her, folded her in an encompassing embrace, and kissed her thoroughly.

  “That’s what I wanted to do that first day,” he said.

  “That’s what you did that first day,” she reminded him dryly.

  “Oh, yeah. I did, didn’t I? Well, good for me.” He grinned.

  While the spaghetti was boiling, Katherine tossed together a salad, and Jace spread thick slices of French bread with garlic butter and popped them into the oven.

  With an alacrity born of practice, he opened a bottle of red wine that he had put in the refrigerator earlier to chill. Miraculously, everything was ready at the same time and they sat down to eat their late dinner.

  Was the meal especially delicious, or was it Katherine’s happiness that made it seem to be? They chatted continually. The meal stretched over two hours.

  She learned that Jace would be thirty-three on his next birthday and what that date was. His middle name was Lawrence. They shared stories of their youth. Each learned the other’s likes and dislikes, prejudices, political inclinations, and personal philosophies.

  When they were replete with spaghetti, salad, bread, and wine, Jace insisted that they each have a bowl of chocolate ice cream. As they companionably shared the chore of cleaning up, Katherine marveled again that he was able to eat so much and still retain a physique that sported not one ounce of fat.

  They stood side by side at Allison’s crib, arms around each other’s waists, and felt drawn even closer by the commitment they shared to rear the child to be a responsible, compassionate human being. Katherine changed Allison’s diaper, but the baby didn’t awaken.

  There was no question as to where Katherine was sleeping that night. She went with Jace into the other bedroom naturally and uninhibitedly. Before she had time to straighten the linens on the bed, he had stripped out of his clothes and reached for her. With meticulous care he untied the knot under her bosom and pulled the shirt from her shoulders. She stepped out of her panties as they lay down together on the wide bed.

  “I’m insanely jealous,” Jace said as he stroked her shoulder.

  “Why?” she asked in a voice that sounded more like a contented purr.

  “Because the first time you were on this bed, you were with Cooper.”

  “Yes,” she sighed with pretended despair, “I suppose I’ll have to give Jim up.”

  They laughed, then were quiet for a long moment, enraptured with holding each other.

  “How do you feel?” Jace whispered into the darkness.

  “Like this,” Katherine returned impishly. Shyly, she lowered her hand under the covers. He inhaled sharply with a soft hiss when she found her target. She smiled in satisfaction at his instantaneous stirring under her fingertips.

  “Oh, God,” he moaned. “That wasn’t exactly what I meant, but your answer will suffice.” With an effort he tried to control his rapid breathing. “Actually, I wondered if I had hurt you. I wasn’t very gentle.” He groaned when she became more confident. “Katherine…” he rasped. Then more levelly, “It never occurred to me that you might be a virgin.”

  “Did you think I was a liberated, promiscuous swinger trailing a string of forsaken lovers behind me?” She nibbled at the base of his throat.

  “No, of course not,” he ground out between clenched teeth. Speech was becoming more difficult with each passing second. “I just thought that surely someone as beautiful as you would have been… involved… before now. I’m delighted to learn you weren’t.”

  “Oh, Jace,” she murmured as she buried her face in the hair on his chest and brushed it with butterfly kisses. Lightly, she flicked her tongue over his nipples.

  “Katherine—” he cried softly. “You… you take me to heaven.” He reached under the sheet and lifted her hand away from him, bringing it to his lips. He pressed a passionate kiss into her palm even as he rolled her gently onto her back.

  Masterfully controlling the urgency she had induced, it was with utmost gentleness that he took her once again to blissful completion.

  * * *

  The following weeks were idyllic. Katherine and Jace were totally engrossed in each other. They shared those looks and touches that, to lovers, are secret, and yet broadcast their affection to anyone who chanced to intercept these transmissions.

  They laughed, talked, and made love with a joy that belied the strained circumstances of their marriage. Katherine tinkered with and experimented on her new typewriter, and, by the end of the first week, was composing rough drafts for her first series of commercials.

  During the day while Jace was at the drilling site, she spent long hours jotting down ideas and doing research. She read her drafts aloud to Allison, who was a captive audience. The baby was relegated to a pallet on the living room floor until one evening when Jace brought in an indoor swing. As he wound up the A-shaped contraption and placed Allison in the comfortable cloth seat, he remarked, “This apartment is shrinking more each day.”

  For one who had always cooked out of necessity, Katherine discovered an uncharacteristic joy in cooking for Jace. One night she surprised him with a chocolate pie, which he had emphatically insisted was his favorite food.

  She knew him to have a vicious temper. Hadn’t she witnessed it the night Ronald Welsh attacked her? It had surfaced briefly in some of the arguments before their marriage. On the day they went to the lake and she inadvertently compared him to Peter she realized just how explosive his temper could be.

  But there was no evidence of it now. He was easy to live with, neat to a fault, and generous. Allison enjoyed an abundance of affection from him. Every day he came in from work, showered and changed, and then spent time talking to and playing with her. Sometimes, if she were fussy, he would just rock her. His attention always seemed to pacify her.

  Katherine overheard him cooing to her as he rocked her in the wicker chair one evening. “Allison, sweet baby girl, Daddy loves you. I love you, Allison.”

  The words pierced Katherine’s heart. For even in their highest moments of passion, Jace had never hinted that he loved her. He showered her with love words, and his lovemaking was definitely a sharing experience. Never did he appease his desire without patiently and tenderly bringing her with him to perfect satisfaction.

  She suddenly longed to hear those three words spoken to her with the same ope
n sincerity that he was speaking them to Allison. And then she knew.

  She loved Jason Manning.

  When had it happened? At what point had she thrown off the cloak of suspicion and accepted him as the forthright person he seemed to be? When had she stopped searching the depths of his eyes for hidden motives? She didn’t know. All she knew was that she loved him and that should he not remain a part of her life, it would become a vacuum, a dark void.

  Never had she allowed herself such vulnerability to another human being. It was a frightening submission. He had first gained control of her life. Now he had control of her heart and emotions as well. What would she do if he betrayed that trust? How could she ever cope with duplicity from him now?

  She pushed the terrifying thought from her mind as she listened to him softly singing to Allison. He wouldn’t betray her. He couldn’t! Not after they had experienced such an all-consuming sexual union. Their appetites for each other had been insatiable and they had not been left unassuaged.

  Another nasty thought invaded her mind. Lust. Men could enjoy sex while keeping their hearts and minds detached. Is that all their glorious lovemaking meant to Jace? Was he so adept at sex that he could make her believe it meant as much to him as it did to her? Were the words he passionately whispered in her ear only rehearsed recitations?

  * * *

  “Hey, what imaginative culinary delight have you concocted for our dinner tonight?”

  Jace brought her out of her disturbing reverie as he came up behind her at the kitchen stove and placed his hands on her shoulders.

  “Lizard eyes,” she said, laughing, and unconsciously settling her bottom against the fly of his jeans.

  “With cheese sauce? Great! One of my favorites.” He nuzzled her neck and thrust his hips against hers suggestively. “What’s for dessert?”

  Take one day at a time, Katherine, she told herself. He couldn’t kiss you like this if he didn’t feel some measure of affection for you.