Love Beyond Reason

by Sandra Brown

  He looked down at Allison as Katherine blubbered, “She can hardly breathe. Listen to her. She’s going to die. I know it. Her lungs—”

  The doctor and Jace all but ignored her as they looked at Allison. Dr. Peterson heard the hard, wracking cough and said hurriedly, “Into the bathroom.”

  Jace shoved Katherine toward the specified room. He seemed to know what to do, for he reached for the hot water tap in the bathtub before Dr. Peterson had time to follow them in and close the door behind him.

  “What—” Katherine started, but Dr. Peterson interrupted with, “Do you have any Mentholatum, Vaporub, anything like that?”

  Katherine nodded dumbly and pointed toward the medicine chest behind the mirror. The doctor grabbed a jar and started liberally spreading the pungent gel on Allison’s throat.

  Meanwhile, the bathroom was becoming like a steam room with the hot water tap running full strength in the tub. Jace took a towel off a rack and held it under the faucet in the sink, soaking it in warm water. He rung all excess water out of it and placed it gently over the small chest.

  “I should have known—” Katherine began apologizing for her own ignorance.

  “Not if you’ve never had a child with croup before.” Dr. Peterson interrupted her again. “It’s one of the most alarming things to experience. It sounds a lot worse than it is.” His voice was reassuring, and Jace placed a supportive arm around Katherine’s shoulders. Unmindful of the schism between them, she leaned against his hard strength gratefully as the doctor replaced the warm, moist towel over Allison’s chest.

  He continued his patient ministrations as the minutes ticked by. The three adults in the cramped space were dripping with perspiration when, finally, Allison coughed long and hard. Katherine reached for her, but Dr. Peterson put out a restraining arm. “This might be it,” he said.

  A bubble of thick mucus sprouted from the baby’s nose at the same time she coughed chokingly and spat out what had given them all such grief.

  “There we go,” the doctor cried cheerfully. He wiped Allison’s nose with a tissue and cleaned out her mouth with a gentle, probing finger.

  Almost immediately Allison’s breathing returned to normal. She lay back sleepily and closed her eyes. For the first time in hours she wasn’t crying.

  Jace restored the ravaged bathroom. Katherine hovered over Dr. Peterson as he carried Allison into her room. He laid the baby down gently in her crib and pulled out a stethoscope, placing it on the rising and falling chest.

  When he straightened up, he said, “Just as I thought. Her lungs are clear. She’s probably had a viral cold for the past several days, and got a little clogged up. The harsh breathing and coughing came from her throat, not her lungs.”

  “Thank you so much, Dr. Peterson. I was so scared.”

  “I know you were. Just remember the old bathroom trick if Allison or future children ever get croup.” He glanced down at Allison and, deciding to give her some medication, administered it into her mouth with an eyedropper.

  “That’s a mild decongestant, but even so, it should keep her under for the rest of the night.” While he filled out a prescription blank he said, “Have this filled tomorrow. You can give her liquid aspirin if she runs any fever and call me if she’s no better in a day or two. Do you have a vaporizer?”

  “Yes,” Katherine answered, aware that Jace had joined them.

  “I’d keep it going in her room for a couple of days. It’ll relieve her congestion.”

  “Thank you, Doctor,” Jace said, extending his hand for the doctor to shake. He led the pediatrician to the front door.

  Katherine was leaning over the crib, stroking Allison’s back when he returned.

  “She gave you quite a scare, didn’t she?” Jace whispered.

  “Oh, God, Jace. I was so frightened,” Katherine said tremulously.

  “I know. I’m glad I called and was able to be here with you.” He placed both hands on her shaking shoulders and massaged them comfortingly.

  “Thank you,” she said softly. Then remembering how expert he had been during the crisis, she asked, “How did you know what to do?”

  He laughed softly then said, “When you’re on a drilling site out in the middle of nowhere, you learn to be a lot of things. Sometimes we have to act as nurse for one another. One night a man in my outfit got choked up like that and Billy instructed us on what to do.”

  “Tell Billy I’m forever in his debt.”

  “He’ll like that,” Jace said wryly. “Hey, are you hungry? We skipped supper, you know.”

  “And lunch,” Katherine said. She patted Allison’s bottom one last time before turning around. “But I hadn’t even thought of it.”

  “Why don’t you lie down for a while and let me run out for some hamburgers.”

  “I hate for you—”

  “No problem.” He interrupted her on his way out the front door.

  Katherine sank down onto the sofa and rested her head on the back cushions, closing her eyes. What a day.…

  That was her last conscious thought until she awoke to feather-light kisses on her cheek. She opened her eyes and saw Jace bending solicitously over her.

  “Did I go to sleep?” she asked drowsily.

  “You could’ve fooled me. Unless you were checking your eyelids for holes,” he smiled. “How would you like a picnic?”

  “What?” she asked struggling to sit upright. “Oh, Jace!” she exclaimed when she saw the hamburgers, french fries, and malteds spread out on the candlelit coffee table in front of her.

  “Milady’s dinner is served,” Jace said with a swooping bow.

  For the first time in weeks Katherine laughed out loud at his clowning. That set the mood for their cozy dinner. He regaled her with stories of his ventures abroad. His description of a sheikh who had fancied him as a husband for one of his twelve daughters caused tears of mirth to roll down Katherine’s face.

  “You’re laughing, and I barely escaped with my virtue intact,” Jace said with feigned indignation.

  Katherine stood up and began gathering the paper plates and cups. Her hands came to a complete standstill when Jace grasped her around the waist and turned her to face him as he sat on the sofa.

  Exercising no will of her own, she followed his lead and was drawn closer. His hands ran up and down her back as he stared into her eyes.

  “No bra today,” he whispered roguishly, flashing that mischievous smile she had come to adore.

  Holding her eyes with his, he reached under her T-shirt with caressing hands. Her own eyes swam with emotion as she felt his tentative fingers on her flesh. She didn’t deter him. She wanted this. She would review her regrets later. For right now she gloried in his touch.

  He raised the shirt and slipped it over her head. Honey-colored hair tumbled down around her shoulders. The candles were the only illumination as he viewed her body. The flickering candlelight shaded and highlighted the hollows and planes in a study of sculpture.

  Jace buried his face between her breasts and kissed the soft flesh. His words were muffled. “Katherine… beautiful… sweet…”

  He kissed her breasts tenderly, almost reverently. He pulled back and worshiped them with his eyes as his fingers paid homage. Then he kissed them again.

  Looking at him from this angle, Katherine saw that his black eyelashes were thick and spiky. His nose was perfectly shaped—long and straight and aristocratic.

  He clasped her behind the knees and moved his hands up the backs of her thighs. Her heart pounded in anticipation. Spontaneously, she placed both hands on his head and bent hers over it, draping that beloved head with her hair.

  His hands circled her waist then moved to her stomach. He unsnapped her jeans and slid the zipper down her abdomen. Slipping both hands into the opening, he settled them on her hips.

  “Katherine,” he breathed, “your complexion is golden and beautiful all over.” He nibbled her stomach. The stubble on his chin abraded her skin, but it was a pleasant s
ensation.

  His hands clenched her tighter as his mouth encompassed her navel. He took it leisurely, nibbling it with his teeth and exploring it with his tongue. He attacked it, made love to it. It was a warm and possessive and totally sexual assault.

  Katherine’s breath was coming rapidly. Small explosions of sensation erupted from her throbbing femininity and suffused her with fire. She had too much blood for her veins to contain, and it flooded riotously through her body.

  Jace pulled back and studied the lacy elastic band on her bikini panties. He hooked his finger under it and traced a mesmerizing line first to one side of her abdomen, then to the other. His finger came back to its starting point just under her navel. With slow precision he began to lower it.

  Just when Katherine thought she would cry out with suppressed emotion, Jace withdrew his hand and stood up abruptly, nearly unbalancing her. He cradled her face between his palms and hungrily sought her mouth. “I can’t take this anymore,” he muttered thickly. He extinguished the candles quickly and propelled her into the bedroom with him.

  Tossing back the covers with an impatient carelessness, he eased Katherine onto the bed. She didn’t hesitate to remove her jeans and panties while he flung off his clothes, hissing deprecations to contrary buttons, buckles, and snaps.

  When they were both naked, he covered her body with his. He rained fervent kisses on her face and threaded his hands through the golden strands of hair fanning the pillow.

  Desperately he whispered, “Katherine, don’t deny me this. Please. I want you. I need…”

  Her body answered for her. It was unreservedly acquiescent to his demands. Her hands smoothed over the broad expanse of his back, down over his hips, and as far as she could reach on his thighs. It was longing frustrated by abstinence that compelled her to meet his passion equally.

  They became one without pause. Jace ceased his frantic kisses and lay his dark head beside hers on the pillow, breathing deeply. Katherine rested her hands on the lean muscles of his hips. They were content to savor the sensation, the satisfaction, the bliss of their bodies being joined in this timeless intimacy.

  After long moments Jace supported himself on his elbows as he gazed down into her face. “I knew you were ready or I never would have—”

  “I know,” she whispered back, brushing back the raven waves that lay damply on his forehead.

  He traced the features of her face, sliding his finger across her cheekbones, down her nose to her lips. His lips followed the path.

  “Being like this with you… it’s… oh, Katherine, kiss me,” he rasped. She could feel that his body was demanding more now that the initial frustration had been appeased.

  She drew his tongue into her mouth and then searched the depths of his with her own curious exploration. He drew apart from her slightly and cupped a breast in each hand, pushing them upward to meet his eager lips. His velvet-rough tongue painted each rosy crest with a warm wetness before it was suckled with his mouth.

  Katherine cried his name joyously as she lost all consciousness of anything except Jace’s body bringing her to fulfillment. No small component of that fulfillment was hearing Jace call her name in his own crescendo of ecstasy.

  * * *

  “I want to check on Allison.” Katherine said into the darkness a short while later.

  “Who?” Jace asked jokingly. He dodged her playful slap and said, “I’ll come with you.”

  They giggled like naughty children as they stumbled naked through the dark house. Jace managed to bump into and fall over everything he possibly could and blindly groped for Katherine for support. Invariably, he grabbed some intimate part of her anatomy, apologizing profusely as he did so.

  “Oh, forgive me, milady. I’m so sorry. It’s damned dark in here you know.”

  Katherine giggled. “You don’t need a light. You know where everything is.”

  “You’re absolutely right,” he said with a lecherous growl and pinched the fleshy part of her bottom.

  “Jace! In front of the baby?”

  They both laughed at their foolishness, but became serious as they looked down into the crib. Allison was sleeping peacefully. Her even breathing kept cadence with the soft, hissing steam coming from the vaporizer.

  “I don’t think she even missed us,” Jace whispered.

  When they were back in the large bed lying on their sides with Katherine’s back intimately pressed into Jace’s chest, she had the first pangs of regret over what had happened.

  Was she being naive and idealistic to think that sex should be an extension of love? She loved Jace, and sex was certainly a part of her love, but she knew that he didn’t love her.

  Yet, surely, he felt some emotion toward her. He seemed to enjoy being with her. Earlier, he had been as afraid for Allison as she was. Perhaps for him, that affectionate concern was the extent of his loving.

  One thing was certain. She wouldn’t allow herself to suffer again the way she had the last few weeks. If this was all she could have of him, then this is all she would demand. It would have to be enough.

  As if endorsing what she had resolved, Jace stirred in his sleep and moved his hand from her stomach to a breast, cupping it lightly before his fingers once again relaxed.

  Katherine wordlessly mouthed something she would never admit in the light of day. “I love you, Jace.”

  * * *

  Katherine sat at her typewriter staring off into space. She was supposed to be working on the copy for the first series of commercials, but delicious memories of last night fogged her brain and stimulated her body until coherent thinking was impossible.

  Allison was feeling better. She had regained some of her appetite, and the prescription that Dr. Peterson had given her helped clear her head of congestion and made her drowsy. She was peacefully sleeping a healing sleep.

  Katherine had set a goal for today and was determined to achieve it before putting aside her work to start dinner preparations. She typed a few more words before the telephone rang.

  It was a surprise to hear Billy’s gruff voice on the other end of the line.

  “Hello, Billy,” she said happily. “What can I do for you?”

  “Well, Katherine, I hate like hell to have to make this call.” Katherine’s heart squeezed painfully in her chest. Something had happened to Jace. NO! An accident? Was he hurt?

  “Jace?” she asked on a high pitch.

  Billy must have gleaned her train of thought, for he hastily assured her, “Jace is all right. I mean he’s not hurt or dead or anything.”

  Katherine’s knees buckled and she sank down gratefully in the nearest chair. “You gave me quite a fright, Billy.”

  “I’m sorry, Katherine.” Was that a stream of tobacco juice she heard whizzing past the receiver of the telephone? “You see, Jace asked me to call you, and I hate to have to tell you that he won’t be home tonight.”

  “Is there trouble with the well?”

  Another expectoration. “Not exactly,” Billy hedged.

  “Then what?” Katherine asked, becoming exasperated with this beating around the bush.

  “He went to Longview to get that Newton bitch out of trouble.” She heard Billy sigh in relief as he finally delivered the message.

  “I see,” Katherine murmured, not risking to say anything more, for fear of revealing the swelling in her throat.

  “The hell you do,” Billy countered. “But that’s your and Jace’s business. Anyway, that slut called up here an hour ago, blubbering and carrying on. Seems she got in some trouble in a cowboy honky-tonk that appeals to lonely, frustrated housewives. She begged Jace to come over there. He did,” Billy sounded disgusted.

  “Of course,” Katherine sighed. “Th-thank you for calling, Billy. I would have been worried when he didn’t come home.”

  “Well, I don’t know when to tell you to look for him. That broad… I mean… she…” Billy’s voice trailed off and Katherine saved him from further embarrassment.

  “Yes,
I understand, Billy.”

  She broke off the connection before he had time to reply. She buried her face in her hands and shook her head, denying that Jace could leave her for Lacey. After last night? Impossible! After this morning, when he was at the drugstore before it opened to pick up Allison’s medicine? No!

  How could he kiss her with such tenderness and passion only to rush to Lacey’s arms a few hours later? Was that to be the pattern of their lives from now on? Was she to share his passion with Lacey, while Lacey had the added benefit of his love?

  “I don’t know if I can do that,” Katherine said aloud, and only then realized that she had made a decision.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Hi, honey.” Katherine sat at her desk frozen in angry surprise as Jace let himself in the front door and then crossed the room to lean down and kiss her on the cheek. “Boy, I’m beat. Is there any coffee left?”

  “I think so,” she answered stiffly.

  She watched his back as he walked into the kitchen chatting as though he had only stepped out for a newspaper—two days ago. He was remarking on the weather, asking after Allison’s health, and expressing disappointment when informed she was down for her late morning nap. He didn’t mention anything about where he had been for the past two days and what he had been doing with Lacey Newton Manning.

  Katherine had lived in a vacuum since getting the telephone call from Billy. Jace had run to Lacey. He had been gone for over two days without one word. Did he expect to come home and resume life where they left off? Was he going to act as if nothing had happened? Well, it wasn’t going to be that easy for Mr. Jason Manning.

  “How’s the work coming?” he asked her as he came back carrying a steaming mug of coffee. He collapsed onto the sofa and lay his head back on the cushions, closing his eyes briefly. He opened them and looked at her with a perplexed expression when the answer to his question was so long in coming. She saw the purple shadows around his eyes and the dark stubble of neglected beard. He looked gaunt under his dark tan.