My Little Sister Can Read Kanji: Volume 2

by Takashi Kajii

  “Huh?” Kuroha didn’t know what to make of my sudden request.

  “Mr. Bedhead was just ignored or teased by everyone around him and he got really sulky. Isn’t that really sad? But you can understand him, Kuroha!” I exclaimed.

  “I am not sulky!” Mr. Bedhead arched his small body back in rage, like a little monkey.

  “I’m not sure that Sadame-san would be very happy if I read them,” Kuroha hedged.

  “That’s not true! Come on, Kuroha, please!” I pleaded.

  “Fine, if you insist. I’ll read it, but we should read it together, Onii-chan. I’ll translate it for you.”

  When Kuroha said the words “read it together,” Yuzu-san and Miru both reacted.

  “Kuroha-san, it’s not fair to read it only with Gin-san. I will read it, as well!” said Yuzu-san.

  “I’m a gonna read it, too!” said Miru.

  Everyone will read it! Sounds like fun!

  “Let’s go to a park or something and everyone read it together!” I exclaimed in a boisterous tone.

  “Then I’ll make everyone lunch boxes. How does ginger-pork sound to you?” asked Yuzu-san.

  “I’ll draw pictures for it,” said Miru.

  In my head I was picturing a scene where we had laid out a picnic blanket and were all sitting in a park, reading Mr. Bedhead’s novel, having fun...

  Oh, yeah! In that case, he should come along, too!

  “Mr. Bedhead, we’re going to be reading your novel, so would you come, too?” I asked. “You don’t have to be lonely anymore. Let’s all have fun together. So, just give back what you stole.”

  Mr. Bedhead was leaning over and visibly shaking.

  Is he overtaken with emotion? All right! It looks like we’ve finally persuaded him!

  Mr. Bedhead raised up his head. It seems that I’d been naive. His brows were furled and his eyes were bloodshot with fury. “How dare you try to console me, you brat?!”

  W-Why are you so mad? Maybe our suggestion really hurt his pride or something...

  Mr. Bedhead began to flap his wings and rose up into the sky.

  Bloomers... The bloomers have lift-off!

  We’ve failed! Is Mr. Bedhead trying to escape? This is bad! We haven’t gotten back the manuscript of Ani MAJI Mania or the Meguri Gun yet!

  But then...

  “Gin-san, I’ve got this!” Next to me Yuzu-san had pulled out a rope. A loop had been tied on one end.

  Ah! So the special trick she was working on before was lassoing!

  Yuzu-san held the lasso in both hands, and braced herself. “Here I go!”

  This was a completely different Yuzu-san than I had ever seen before. She had the look in her eyes of a hunter stalking her prey. As she spun the lasso around and around, she fixed her aim.

  “Take this!” she shouted, throwing the lasso. The end of the lasso flew out and landed around Mr. Bedhead’s neck.

  Amazing, Yuzu-san!

  “I did it! Now we just need to...” Yuzu-san pulled the rope back. Mr. Bedhead tried to take off the lasso from his neck, but it didn’t look like he’d be able to counter the strength of Yuzu-san’s pull downward. He was barely able to pull the rope out from around his neck at all.

  “I’ll help you!” I grabbed the rope and pulled it together with Yuzu-san. The rope wrapped snugly around Mr. Bedhead’s neck.

  “Guweh!!” Mr. Bedhead fell back down like a fly after it had been sprayed with bug spray. He splashed into the lake. We quickly surrounded the tightly bound little girl that was Mr. Bedhead. Yuzu-san’s passionate hobby was truly something.

  “How pitiful! You thought you could fly away in the end-noda!” the professor laughed.

  “I was not running away! I was ascending so that I could attack! I was going to divebomb you all!” he snarled.

  “Sadame-kun, why don’t you consider staying in the form of a little girl permanently? I’d love to see you undo that wedgie you have going there,” suggested Odaira-sensei.

  “You’re making me sick! I’d rather die!” Even while tightly bound, Mr. Bedhead was still exchanging fighting words with Odaira-sensei.

  I respect his spirit.

  “You’ve sure caused a lot of trouble.” I breathed a sigh of relief.

  It had been an hour since we’d captured Mr. Bedhead. But there was one thing we had not anticipated. He wasn’t carrying the manuscript for Ani MAJI Mania or the Meguri Gun.

  “Aniki, just give up already and tell us where you hid them-noda,” the professor said.

  “I will not,” Mr. Bedhead snapped.

  “You can’t return to the 23rd century as long as we have you tied up, you know-noda?” she pointed out.

  “The future has been corrected. Even if I have to sacrifice Myself, I will have still accomplished my righteous goal.”

  “Righteous-noda? You think that we’ve lost, then?”

  “Miru-chan, can you think of a way to set this bloomer-wearing girl on the straight-and-narrow?” asked Odaira-sensei.

  Miru looked hard at Mr. Bedhead. “We can lock the geezer and Sadame in a closet together,” she whispered.

  “Wh-What?!” Mr. Bedhead screamed in a high-pitched voice.

  Odaira-sensei’s eyes sparkled. “That’s an excellent idea! Sadame-kun, prepare yourself!”

  Mr. Bedhead turned a shade of blue.

  “I mean, you’re just so enticing! This is way better than erotic manga! All reason has completely left me!” The fingers on both of Odaira-sensei’s hands wriggled like little bug antennae. He slowly, creepily, approached Mr. Bedhead.

  Mr. Bedhead pulled his head back at first from the approaching Odaira-sensei, but then his expression returned to one of staunch pride. “Do as you wish. If you wish to do embarrassing things to me, I will bite my tongue and endure them!”

  “Are you sure? If you return the things you stole, we’ll let you go.”

  “I said, do as you wish!” Mr. Bedhead shook his head back and forth, making his refusal clear. Odaira-sensei returned to being serious.

  “Even after threatening you this much, you won’t budge, huh? Sadame-kun, you really are strong-willed,” he said.

  “What? You were just bluffing? I thought you were serious,” I said.

  “Well, I was half serious,” said Odaira-sensei, laughing.

  If we couldn’t threaten him, then we had to talk it out of him somehow.

  “How about we all return to the future, Mr. Bedhead?” I asked. “I’ll read your novel.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous, brat! You just want to feel superior after besting Myself! I’d rather die right here than be taken pity upon by the likes of you!” He looked up at me with a cold stare.

  Why do I get the feeling like he hates me especially?

  “Don’t get so full of yourself, brat,” he sneered. “The reason people like your work isn’t because you have talent or because your works are so full of humanity. It’s only because you lived in a world where the orthodox style was accepted. When it comes to talent, mine is far superior to yours. Not just yours, but Odaira’s as well.”

  “Uh, people don’t really like my works, actually...” I said.

  “As far as my brother is concerned, you’re surrounded by girls and are a favorite of Odaira-sensei. It’s no wonder he’s jealous of you-noda,” said the professor.

  “I am not jealous!” Mr. Bedhead shouted. “I’m just stating the facts! I have far more talent!”

  “Guess we’re at an impasse,” she said. “Might as well throw you in a closet or something-noda.”

  We all exchanged glances, in agreement that we had no choice but to forcibly coerce him. At this rate, we would never be able to return to the future.

  What’ll we do?

  Just then Odaira-sensei, who had snuck up next to Mr. Bedhead, spoke in a calm voice. “Sadame-kun, you really think that you are better than us, don’t you?”

  “Of course I do,” he said coldly.

  “In that case, why don’t we have a contest to
settle this, once and for all?” Odaira-sensei’s eyes lit up like a child playing a prank on someone.

  “A contest, you say?” Odaira-sensei had piqued Mr. Bedhead’s interest.

  “Correct,” Odaira-sensei said. “You’re remaking Torahiko Touji’s The 21st Century, are you not? Do you happen to have the manuscript with you?”

  “...I do. What of it?”

  “That’ll do nicely. We can go on with the contest straight away. How about we put both your The 21st Century and our Ani MAJI Mania in Yuzu-kun’s treasure box?”

  Put two manuscripts in her treasure box?! It was a proposal I could not have predicted. After all, Sensei, if we do that, then...

  “It may well be that Gura will be moved by your The 21st Century and use it as the basis to write something, which will in turn cause the future to go in a very different direction,” he continued.

  Do you hear what you’re saying? The future might change to something completely different!

  “Of course he may choose Ani MAJI Mania and end up writing Oniaka. Or he could write something completely different, as well. It would all be in the hands of the god himself, Gura.”

  “Hmm...” Mr. Bedhead’s mood had begun to shift. His stubborn expression from before had started to soften a little.

  “I also agree with this suggestion-noda,” said the professor. “Aniki, I promise you that once we go back to the future, I won’t make any more marshmallows and will never set foot in the past again, no matter what the outcome-noda.”

  No matter how the future might change, there would be no regrets. Everything would be settled by this one contest. After thinking it over for a little bit, Mr. Bedhead gave us his answer.

  “So be it.”

  We had entered into an agreement with our wartime foe, Mr. Bedhead. He would tell us where the manuscript for Ani MAJI Mania and the Meguri Gun were, and in exchange we would untie him. We were told that he had buried the manuscript and gun in a hole that he had dug below a torii gate near the lake. I had never actually seen a torii gate outside of shrine-maiden type anime, but it seems like there were plenty still around in this time period.

  We headed toward the torii where they were hidden, lead by Mr. Bedhead, all of us walking on the sandy lake beach. Mr. Bedhead had returned to his original form, and only his hands were tied behind his back.

  Enough time had passed that evening was already beginning to fall. I could see the reflection of the orange sun wavering on the surface of the lake. What a pretty view. I need to make sure to record this to my memories...

  Kuroha asked me a question as we walked beside each other. “Hey, Onii-chan... Are you really okay with Sensei’s idea? I’m against it. In the end, it’s just a gamble, you know?”

  “It is, but... If we hadn’t suggested something like that, he would have never told us the hiding place...”

  “But the risk is way too big! There’s no turning back afterward, you know?!” Kuroha’s voice rose in frustration and she stopped walking. I had no choice really but to stop walking, as well. It seemed like everyone had paused.

  “It’s okay,” I said. “I believe in the work that we all created. I believe in Ani MAJI Mania. I just know that Gura will write Oniaka.”

  “Can you really say that, for 100% sure?” she demanded.

  I paused. It was true that I could not predict how the future would end up. For example, if it was Mr. Bedhead’s book that deeply impressed Gura and he wrote a novel based on that influence, the future might end up just like Mr. Bedhead’s dream for it. If that happens, then...

  “What will you do if the world becomes filled with kanji?” Kuroha asked. “Think clearly, Onii-chan.”

  “If that happens, I’ll accept it,” I said.

  What Mr. Bedhead had done was wrong, but it was a fact that our future was not one where the literature that he loved so much would be accepted. To me, it was my beloved, peerless orthodox style. But to Mr. Bedhead, it was an evil empire that oppressed all opposition. If Gura ended up not writing Oniaka, and the future ended up following Mr. Bedhead... it would be a sign from God that the oppression of the evil empire must stop.

  “So then you’ll give up on your dream?” asked Kuroha.

  “...Of course not.” Only a little while ago, I might have given up. But now I could no longer even consider it. “I have to follow my own advice I gave Mr. Bedhead. ‘If you keep trying your best, one day your novels will surely come out into the light!’”

  Kuroha heaved a heavy sigh, “Don’t say it like it’ll be easy...”

  “No matter what situation I’m in, I’ll still believe in the literature I love,” I explained. “That’s why I believe that Gura will write Oniaka, and why even if he doesn’t, I will still believe in myself and never give up. That’s what I’ve decided!”

  Kuroha scrunched up her eyebrows and pursed her lips. She clearly had something to say, but was holding back... That was the kind of face she was making. Then, someone was pulling on my clothes.

  “Nii, if the world’s filled with kanji, you’ll be okay,” said a voice from down and to my side. I looked over and saw Miru holding a piece of paper in her hand. “I picked up this page that fell.” She held it out like some kind of diploma, and I accepted it.

  What did she mean by it’ll be okay even if the world is filled with kanji? What is written on this paper? I looked down at it.

  Declaration of Resolve!

  I am writing this memo so that I never forget my resolve. What will you do if we can’t go back to the future, Onii-chan? Will you give up on your dream? Don’t worry. I won’t let you give up. I’m going to master modern Japanese. I’m going to take the prose you write and translate it for you. We’ll make our debut together! Won’t that be wonderful?

  When I think about the possibility that we can’t return to the future, I get really worried. But you’ll be here with me, and as long as we are working together toward something, I think I can get over those feelings.

  So don’t worry, Onii-chan.

  ...How about that? I can already write modern Japanese like this pretty well, huh? Hee hee, sometimes I even impress myself. Onii-chan, praise me! Tell me “You’re amazing, Kuroha!”

  ? ? ?

  What in the world is this? I recognized the symbol part, but with so many kanji in the text itself, I had no idea what it was saying.

  When I lifted my head, a whirlwind suddenly blew and the paper disappeared from my hand. Kuroha at my side had turned such a shade of red that it caused me to suddenly consider studying the circulatory system. She stuffed the paper she had snatched into her skirt pocket at an unreasonable speed.

  “Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-You saw it, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-You read it, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah.”

  Kuroha collapsed to her knees and buried her head in her hands. When I tried to call out to her, she screamed, “F-Forget everything! Delete it all from your mind! Pleeease!”

  “I read it, but there’s no way I was able to understand any of it. Stop and think about it.”

  “...huh?” Kuroha raised her head, and stayed that way with her mouth half open for a few seconds, then exploded. “Then don’t tell me you read it, damn it! That’s just confusing! You idiot! You big idiot! You’re gonna die from stupidity! Just die already!!!” She started swinging her dictionary at me.

  Man, what’s gotten into her?

  “See if I care!” Kuroha turned her back to me and sat down on the ground. She was pressing her hands to her cheeks and groaning, “Aaaah...” and, “Ugghhh...”

  There must have been something damn embarrassing written on that paper, huh? In orthodox literature, the most famous situations for embarrassment were wetting your pants or wetting the bed, so it was probably about one of those.

  “Kuroha, make sure to wash anything that got dirty, okay?” I said.

  “W-What?” she burst out.

  You’re a big girl now, so if you Ammoni Ah’d
something, admit it already!

  I decided it was best to leave her be for now. As I got some distance, I made eye contact with Yuzu-san, who had been watching over us.

  Oh yeah, I have something I want to say to her.

  If, like Kuroha was worried about, the future didn’t change back to the way it was, I had decided I wouldn’t give up on my dream. But there was still one thing that I would regret. I wouldn’t be able to bring back Yuzu-san’s feelings.

  “Yuzu-san, I promised to take back Ani MAJI Mania and return the future to the Oniaka route. But if, in the end, it doesn’t go back...” I had already been unable to keep the promise I made to her to fulfill her brother’s will. “If I break this promise too, you’ll probably be so disappointed you’ll give up on me. So, if you want to stay here in the 21st century, just ask, and...”

  Before I could finish my sentence, Yuzu-san yelled at me. “Gin-san, what are you saying?!” She looked angry. “I’m going to the 23rd century with you, got it? No matter what future it ends up being.”

  “You’ll come with me?”

  “You don’t understand me at all, Gin-san. If you say anything like leaving me behind again, I... I won’t forgive you.” As Yuzu-san said this, she reached out her hand and gently pinched my cheek.

  For a moment I didn’t realize what had happened and I just stood there, stunned.

  Yuzu-san laughed gently. “That’s your punishment.”

  “O-Okay...” My heart and my cheek burned with passion. So you’ll stay by my side, Yuzu-san? Thank you. Thank you so much...

  I gathered my thoughts. The feelings that Yuzu-san had put into Ani MAJI Mania had turned into Oniaka. I had read that Oniaka and it had healed my young heart, which had led me to my dream of becoming an author.

  It’s like I’ve been protected by and guided by Yuzu-san for my entire life...

  “Hey, brat!” Just when I was being embraced by warm feelings, Mr. Bedhead’s word knocked me out of it. “You don’t actually think you’re going to win this thing, do you?” He was still barking his head off. But I remembered then I had something I wanted to tell him.