Reckless Memories

by Catherine Cowles

  “Gifts…plural?” I’d almost forgotten about Vi’s scarf that had been left on Bell’s doorstep, but had there been more that she hadn’t told me about? I fought the clench in my hands as I did my best to keep my frustration in check.

  Bell nibbled on her bottom lip. “Every year around the anniversary of Violet’s passing and around her birthday, I get gifts. It’s usually flowers and a photo of her or the two of us together.”

  My blood went cold, and my heart rate seemed to slow. “And you didn’t tell anyone?”

  Color hit Bell’s cheeks. “I honestly thought it was a friend. Someone who wanted to show their support but didn’t want to make it awkward. There’s never been a name, but they were never threatening. It only got weird with the scarf.”

  “What scarf?” Parker had taken out his notebook again and was furiously scribbling.

  I adjusted the strap on my sling, wanting to tear the damn thing off. “Someone left Violet’s favorite scarf on Bell’s doorstep with a note telling her not to forget her sister.”

  “It was weird. And it almost felt a little mean. Like I could ever forget her.”

  I slipped my hand under the fall of Bell’s hair, giving her neck a squeeze. “It felt threatening to me. I asked the staff to keep an eye out, but no one’s seen anything.”

  Parker jotted down a few more things. “Do you have the scarf? Any of the gifts?”

  Bell nodded. “At my apartment. They’re in a box at the bottom of my closet.”

  Parker pushed to his feet. “I’d like to get those processed, just in case there are prints.”

  “Of course. Caelyn is running the bar today. She has an extra key to my apartment, and I can give you the security code.”

  Parker studied Bell for a moment. “How many extra keys are floating around to your place, and who has the security code?”

  Bell stiffened, and I hated that Parker was forcing her to look at everyone in her life with suspicious eyes. “Hunter, Caelyn, and Kenna have keys, but none of them have the security code. I haven’t needed to give it to them since Ford had the system installed.”

  Parker nodded. “Let’s keep it that way. I want both of you to be careful. Stick with other people as much as possible. No solo runs on the beach or anything like that. Keep an eye out for anyone who’s acting suspicious. If you notice something, no matter how small, call me.”

  We both agreed. Bell gave Parker the security code, and then he was on his way. She sagged against the door as it shut. “What the hell is going on, Ford?”

  I reached out with my good hand, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear and trailing my hand down her neck, giving her shoulder a squeeze. “I don’t know, but we’re going to figure it out.” She didn’t look especially hopeful. And God, I hated that. “Let’s eat breakfast, and then my mom gave me a box of stuff she saved for me. I think there are yearbooks in there. We can look through them and see if it jogs any memories for you.”

  “That’s not a bad idea.” A flicker of hope lit Bell’s eyes. Trouble always did better when she could take action. She needed a sense of purpose, to feel like she could change her circumstances.

  We ate quickly, neither of us having much of an appetite after our meeting with the sheriff. I took my plate to the sink. “The box is in the garage.”

  Bell took my plate and placed it in the dishwasher. “Don’t even think about trying to get it. You sit on the couch. I’ll get the box.”

  I grumbled but obeyed. My ribs weren’t exactly happy at the moment, and I refused to take another pain pill.

  Bell was gone and back in a matter of seconds, placing the worn box on the coffee table in front of us. She flashed me a devastating smile. “I really hope there aren’t old Playboys in this box.”

  I chuckled. “If my mom found Playboys in my childhood room, I really hope she threw them out.”

  I pulled open the top flaps that were tucked into one another. There was a total mix of items peeking out, and I suddenly felt like any of them could be a live grenade. I pulled out two football trophies, setting them on the table.

  “State champs your junior year. I remember that game.” Bell picked up the trophy, dusting off the plaque.

  I smiled. “I remember you bedazzled your shirt with my number on it.”

  That gorgeous pink flooded Bell’s cheeks. “I was such a nerd.”

  My gaze caught hers. “I loved it.” The color in her cheeks deepened, and I began to see those years growing up through a different lens. All the time she’d spent with me, the way she’d been my biggest cheerleader and staunchest defender.

  “What else do you have in there?” Bell stood, leaning over the box, and pulled out a framed photo. Her thumb traced over the glass. “You two looked so perfect that night.”

  It was Violet and me at our senior prom. She’d coordinated my bowtie to her dress color and given the florist strict instructions for the corsage and boutonniere. Everything looked perfect from the outside looking in. But we’d gotten in a huge fight that night. I’d wanted her to consider going farther away than Seattle for college, and she’d refused to even entertain the idea. She’d ended up crying in the bathroom, and I’d felt like a grade-A jerk. “Nothing is as perfect as it seems.”

  I set the photo on the coffee table and pulled out the first yearbook. “Here we go.”

  Bell settled back on the couch, and we began flipping through the pages. I stalled on one that held a picture of Bell, Kenna, and Caelyn, their arms wrapped around each other and their faces dotted with paint. Bell looked adorable, and something more. She just had more life in her eyes than anyone I’d ever seen before. I couldn’t explain it.

  “That was community service day. We were on the team that painted benches at the park, and I’m pretty sure we ended up with more paint on us than on the benches.”

  I grinned. “I remember. I had to wrap you in two beach towels before putting you in my SUV.” My gaze caught Bell’s. “You looked like an adorable burrito.”

  That gorgeous shade of pink was back in her cheeks. “All the girls were jealous that you came to pick me up. If only they knew you saw me as a burrito.”

  “An adorable burrito, there’s a difference.” Something shuttered over Bell’s gaze. I pushed on, trying to get through it and back to those gorgeous greens. “And I don’t see you as adorable now, Trouble. You’re so much more than that.”

  Something that looked a lot like hope flared in her eyes before she tamped it down. “What’s next?”

  I bit back a growl and turned the page. A strangled laugh was startled out of me. On this one was a photo of Hunter and Ethan dressed in full cheerleader garb, complete with wigs, pom-poms, and skirts. Their arms were wrapped around Violet, who was caught in mid-laugh.

  “Ohmigosh, the powder puff game. I’d totally forgotten about that.”

  Once a year, the cheerleaders and football players switched places for a round of flag football. Hunter had made sure he and his friends had gone above and beyond, and everyone had lost it when they’d seen the boys all decked out. “You know he had Mom sew those uniforms for them.”

  “No, he didn’t.” I nodded, and Bell shook her head. “Kara is such a trooper.”

  “She loved it. But Hunter drew the line when she offered to share her lipstick.”

  Bell dissolved into laughter. “I would’ve paid good money to see that.”

  “Me, too.”

  Bell’s finger ghosted over the photo of Hunter and Ethan. “I think they both had a little crush on her.”

  My brows rose. “Really?”

  She let out a scoffing sound. “Come on, pretty much every guy did.”

  “She had a light that drew people to her.”

  Bell’s finger stopped just under Violet’s face. “She really did.”

  We kept flipping through pages, lost down memory lane. The photos of Vi and me didn’t hurt as much anymore. It was more of a dull ache. Not a sadness for what I’d lost, but for a life that had been cut f
ar too short. And there was a healthy dose of joy mixed in too, at all of the memories we’d never lose.

  I shut the book with a thud. “Did it bring back anything that might be useful?”

  Bell tucked her legs up to her chest, resting her chin on her knees. “After it all happened, and I realized you weren’t coming back, I was really angry.” Bell didn’t look away from me as she spoke, didn’t hide herself from me, but I could feel the regret pouring off her in waves. “People felt bad for me. I’d lost my sister, and they all knew that you and I were close. I think they said things to make me feel better, to show they were on my side, so to speak, but I don’t think most of them meant it.”

  I scooted closer, wrapping my free hand around her calf. “You had a right to be angry.”

  “So do you.” Bell pressed her lips together before speaking again. “You didn’t deserve all those people whispering about you behind your back, even if you weren’t here to see it. I’m so sorry I fed that machine.”

  I gave Bell’s leg a squeeze, pulling myself even closer to her. “Enough apologies. We were both hurting. Neither of us handled it in the best way. What matters now is that we don’t waste the time we have left.”

  Bell’s gaze locked with mine. “I don’t want to waste a moment.”

  31

  Bell

  There was a roaring sound in my ears, as if I had suddenly been submerged in water. I was frozen to the spot as Ford leaned in, hesitating for just a moment before his lips met mine, as if he were giving me one last chance to pull away, to tell him that I didn’t want this. But I couldn’t. Almost losing him had torn that last little bit of restraint and self-preservation away.

  Ford’s lips met mine in a slow, heady enticement. They were so warm and surprisingly smooth, but the bite of the stubble lining his mouth sent a warring cascade of sensations over my skin. I wanted to sink into the feeling, into the kiss, into Ford. I wanted to lose myself in everything that was uniquely him.

  His tongue darted between my lips, and I welcomed it, tangling mine with his in a rhythm that could only be ours. I’d never experienced anything like this. It was a mixture of adrenaline and homecoming, of racing hearts and peace. It was like everything else about Ford: a potent and powerful juxtaposition.

  Ford’s hand slipped beneath the fall of my hair, his fingers tangling in the strands. As his mouth broke away from mine, I let out a mewl of protest. He kept his hand at my nape, studying my face as if looking for signs of panic.

  My chest heaved as I willed my heart under control. “That was—”

  “I don’t think there are words to describe that kiss, Trouble.”

  I bit my lip as heat hit my cheeks. “But you stopped.”

  Ford chuckled. “There’s only so much torture I can take when I know I’m not going to be able to have you. And as much as I hate to say it, my ribs and arm aren’t up for what I want from you.” His gaze roamed over my face. “If you want the same.”

  The roaring in my ears was back. This was a moment I’d dreamt of since I’d first realized that boys might be more than schoolyard playmates and cootie-filled classmates. My heart seemed to rattle in my chest. I was at war with myself. I wanted Ford more than my next breath, yet I was terrified. “I want you. Us. But—”

  Ford’s hand tightened in my hair. “But what?”

  “But I think we should take things slow.” The words came out in a rush, but I felt relief as soon as they were released. Slow and steady. That’s what I needed, a chance to ease into things. I wanted to laugh, like I could ease into anything where Ford Hardy was concerned. My heart and soul were already tumbling down an incline I doubted I’d have any control over.

  His lips twitched. “I can do slow.” He swept his mouth against mine in a barely-there kiss. “As long as I can touch you.” Another brush. “Kiss you.” His hand teased the back of my neck. “Feel your skin.”

  I was practically panting. I scrambled to my feet. “We should get out of here.” If I stayed locked up in this house alone with Ford much longer, I’d end up naked and making poor life choices.

  Ford’s eyes twinkled. “Can’t resist me, huh?”

  I grabbed a pillow and hurled it at him, but Ford batted it away with his good hand. I picked up another one and pointed it at him. “You have a real problem with self-esteem.”

  “I really do.” He pushed to his feet, closing in on me. “Kiss it better?”

  I held out the pillow to keep him at bay. “Oh, no, you don’t. I’ll punch you in your bad shoulder, don’t think I won’t.”

  Ford chuckled but sidestepped me and went for his keys in the dish by the door. “Come on. I’ll buy you an ice cream cone.”

  I blinked rapidly at the quick turn of events. “Mint Oreo?”

  “As if I would deign to get you anything else.”

  I grinned. “Smart man.”

  “Remember when that dweeb you dated in middle school brought you regular Oreo instead of mint?”

  I bit back my laugh at the memory but tried to arrange my face into a scowl. “He wasn’t a dweeb. He was perfectly nice. One of the few boys you didn’t put the fear of God into.”

  Ford snorted. “You certainly sent him packing quick enough when he brought you that ice cream.”

  I rolled my eyes. He wasn’t wrong. Jim had only lasted a week after that stunt. I grabbed my sweatshirt, and we headed for the SUV. I made a motion for the keys. “You’re not driving anywhere until you get that sling off.”

  Ford’s footsteps faltered. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  I held out my hand. “You heard what the doctor said, no driving for two weeks.” Ford didn’t budge. “Don’t make me call Sheriff Raines and have you arrested.”

  Ford groaned but dropped the keys into my open palm. “You put a scratch on my baby, and we’re gonna have problems, Trouble.”

  I chuckled as I climbed in and started the engine. Ford’s fancy SUV drove like a dream, no…more like driving a cloud. The ride into town didn’t take long, but by the time we pulled into a parking space near Two Scoops, it was almost as if the kiss hadn’t happened. We’d descended back into the normality of our bantering friendship.

  I reminded myself that this was good. I needed that normality right about now. Ford wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we walked towards the ice cream shop, and any semblance of normality vanished in a few beats of my heart.

  He pressed his lips to my temple. “Breathe, Bell. Just breathe.” I took a deep breath and willed my muscles to relax. “That’s it. It’s just you and me. Things have only changed a little.”

  I fought back the urge to laugh. A little? More like my world had been turned upside down.

  A bell tinkled as Ford pulled open the door to Two Scoops and ushered me in before him. Mrs. Green looked up at the sound and grinned when she caught sight of me. “Bell, it’s been too long. I’m so glad you came in. Ethan told me what’s been going on. My boy’s worried about you, and I am, too.”

  “It’s good to see you, Mrs. Green. I’m fine, I promise.”

  “I’ve told you time and again, call me Cathy. You’re not a little girl anymore.” Her eyes flickered as Ford’s arm wrapped around my shoulders. She cleared her throat. “Ford, welcome back.”

  “Thank you. It’s good to see you.”

  “You, too…” Her voice trailed off as she looked from Ford to me and back again. “You two aren’t…?”

  Ford’s grip on my shoulder tightened, his eyes hardening a fraction. “We aren’t what?”

  “You aren’t dating. That’s what she’s too scared to say.” The voice came from the back as Mr. Green, a hulking man in his late sixties, stepped out. He’d never made sense to me as the owner of an ice cream store, he looked more like a linebacker or a mobster. His gaze narrowed on us both but then locked with mine. “But you wouldn’t do that, would you, Bell? That would be too weird.”

  I swallowed hard, my skin suddenly becoming too tight for my body. “I—I—”

>   “What she’s too polite to say is that it isn’t any of your business.” There was a hard edge to Ford’s voice. “But I can see that you aren’t all that focused on keeping customers, so we’ll just be going.”

  “No, please,” Cathy started. “We’re sorry, it was just a shock, that’s all. Please stay.”

  My steps faltered, but Ford gave my hand a swift tug as he continued towards the door. I gave Cathy what I hoped was a sympathetic smile, but I couldn’t bring myself to glance in Mr. Green’s direction.

  Ford strode quickly towards the SUV, and I almost tripped over my feet. “Would you slow down?”

  He whirled on me. “That doesn’t piss you the hell off?”

  I took an instinctive step back, the anger seeming to roll off Ford in waves. “Mr. Green? Yes. Cathy? She was just surprised.” I paused for a moment, taking in every detail of Ford’s form, the tense muscles, the blazing eyes, and my heart sank. “That kind of thing? It’s going to happen more than once. This is a small community, and people think it’s their right to share their opinions on your life. Us dating, or whatever you want to call it…people are going to talk. If you can’t handle it, we might as well call it quits before either of us gets hurt.” The words burned my throat as I spoke, and I knew that the loss of even the possibility of what Ford and I could be would break me.

  A muscle in his cheek ticked, but his blazing eyes didn’t look away from mine. “I’m not calling it quits.”

  But I wasn’t sure he’d ever be at peace with what the people of this island said about him. And what did that mean for our hope of a future?

  32

  Bell

  “Where are you going?”

  “To the pantry to get more napkins. Is that allowed, warden?” Each word came out through gritted teeth. The past two weeks, my life had turned into a jail cell. Every single person in my orbit seemed to have taken overprotective to a new level.

  Hunter brought his crew in for lunch every single day, sometimes coming back for dinner, too. Kenna came by to check on me before and after work. And Ford had instructed the entire Catch staff to not leave me unattended for a moment. This was why Caelyn was giving me the evil eye as I headed down the hallway.