by RJ Heaton
Perfect.
Jim Schapp looks over all my paperwork. Getting the t’s crossed and I’s dotted are a sign this dang divorce is finally in the works. Sean will soon be free to go marry his little bimbo and me to start moving forward with wherever my road takes me. I can see a faint light at the end of the tunnel. If I keep moving forward it should get bigger and brighter, but I’m holding onto just that little speck for right now.
“Everything looks in order. My paralegals will double check things, but I plan on having these preliminary papers filed by tomorrow.”
“Sounds great.” I look at Heather and we both grin from ear to ear. Finally, at least one thing is taking shape.
“Once this divorce is finalized we should go out and celebrate.” I look over at Heather smiling giddily in the driver seat. I have to agree that a celebration is probably in order, but the thought of celebrating the end of a twenty-year marriage is sad. I loved Sean. I loved being a wife. Dissolving what seemed like my perfect world, which I found out wasn’t so perfect, seems more like a mournful death. It finally is coming to a conclusion, and I will no longer be Mrs. Sean Cooper. Will I go back to Nicole Larsen? The thought never really occurred to me. I’ve been a Cooper longer than I was a Larsen, and my kids are all named Cooper. Maybe, I’ll just keep it, but Sarah will also be a Cooper. I lay my head on the window of my door. Decisions, decisions.
“Should I expect to have to pick you up today?”
I lift my head from the cool glass window. The entrance to my therapy lies just ahead. I’m not sure what will happen when I cross through the doors. Ethan and I had taken a baby step forward yesterday, and I’m not sure if he wants to hang out again, or …
“Can I text you?”
“Sure.” Heather pulls up to the circular driveway to help me get out. It doesn’t bother her one bit to leave the SUV parked where it is while she wheels me into the waiting area. After all, it is a drop -off and pick -up zone, and she doesn’t intend to take up the space for a long time. “Alright, let me know okay. I have a meeting, but it should only take a half hour.”
“Okay, thanks, Heather.” I watch her turn and go while I wait for a nurse to come take me to the therapy center.
Bing
My phone catches me off guard and I dig it out of the endless pit I call my purse.
Thinking about you today
Can’t wait to zoom around with you
On Saturday
Ramp
This hole I’ve gotten myself into is just getting deeper and deeper. I type a quick reply.
Should be fun!
Talk later I’m heading into Physical Therapy
Nikki
Before the nurse comes and gets me, he responds.
Good girl, work on that stamina
You’re going to need it
Ramp
Of all the … I start typing when I hear my name called. It’s not my usual nurse, so I raise my hand so she knows I’m here.
Ethan looks absolutely amazing in his swim trunks and shirt. His eyes light up when he sees me. I wonder if he thought maybe I would no show. We in no way, came to terms with anything yesterday, but right now I need this. I need the physical aspect of therapy to get my body moving again, and god knows I can use a booster for the self-esteem. Ethan does that for me.
“Hi, beautiful.” See …
“Hi.”
He bends down closely to my ear and softly whispers, I missed you. Those three simple words make my stomach flip flop with frenzy. Lightly he brushes his lips to my sensitive lobe and shivers run over my spine. I am not going to be able to hold back if he keeps doing these things to me. Ethan scoops me out of the chair and my good arm quickly wraps around his neck for stability. I am wishing we could skip therapy and get out of here.
“Do you have plans after this?” I shake my head no, feeling lost at his mercy. “Good.”
Either I have lost all self-control or little gnomes have come in and taken over my body, because without even thinking I pull his head closer to mine and close my lips over his. There could be no worse place to do this, but I do it right in the middle of Ethan’s workplace. I search his mouth frantically. I can’t get close enough. I need him. We breathlessly pull apart, and my eyes roam over the room where several people are swimming, completely clueless to us. Thank the heavens. I start laughing and Ethan joins me. We are in our own bubble and if anyone is watching they would just think we have lost our minds.
“We can get out of here if you want.”
“After. Let’s do a little exercise at least. I am here already.” Ethan nods in agreement and walks us both into the water.
Nineteen
I lay with my arm draped over Ethan drawing soft circles over his toned back. His light moans of pleasure cause me to smile. The reality of what we just did still hasn’t quite fully hit me yet. I’m laying in bed with a guy who’s not my husband. Admittedly, Ethan made me feel better than I could have possibly imagined. He was right when he said there was something between us. It was sparks flying, lightning cracking, on the wing soaring, electric frenzy love making. This young guy just flipped my world on its axis and I don’t know if I ever want to be flipped back over.
Ethan turns his head to look straight in my eyes. “You’re amazing Nikki.”
“Who knew a crippled-up lady could move like that?” I joke. I don’t know why my emotional defense system includes bashing myself with jokes.
Ethan lifts the corner of his mouth into a twisted grin. “Nikki, you moved that amazing body of yours in all the right directions. Mmm, just thinking about it is awakening the beast again.” I laugh loudly and smack him on his back.
“How on earth am I going to be able to keep up with you?”
“Aw, you don’t have to do anything but lay there. I can do all the work.” He winks.
“Ethan you’re insatiable.”
“You’re incredible.” He scoots closer and plants a soft kiss on my lips evoking a stream of moans to escape my mouth. “And I love your little moans, and. And this.” He kisses the tip of my nose, “And these.” He shifts to his side and reaches up his hand to cup my breast. Gently, he massages it in his hand before moving to my nipple. My insides instantly heat up like molten lava. “Absolutely-freaking-incredible.” He says, before leaning over and connecting his lips to my swollen buds. I squirm uncontrollably by the tantalizing sensation. This boy is going to be my undoing.
***
Ethan’s soft snoring is the only other sound in his room besides the thunderous thumping in my heart. Yup, reality is sinking in. I don’t know what the heck I’m doing. I’m not even divorced yet. Won’t this look bad in court that I jumped in the sack with some guy? My eyes roam over Ethan’s lean form stretched out next to me. He has the most beautiful olive colored skin tone and although he is slender, his muscles are well defined and cut nicely. The white sheet barely covers over his thighs. He is most definitely very attractive.
I grab each side of my head and shake it. Where can this possibly go? The conversation between me and Heather echoes in my head; her telling me to just have fun and me worried about his heart and his future. Or is it my heart that I’m worried about? It wasn’t that long ago that I thought my world was perfect and in less than a half hour it was struck hurricane force with a doozy. Sean is a cheating ass-hat and Lance is dead. Talk about life changing events. My whole life has changed from the outcome of that one decision on Sean’s part. And now, here I am laying next to a naked younger guy trying to figure out what it all means. I would scream right now, but I don’t want to wake Ethan up. Why do I have to sit and analyze everything to pieces? Why can’t I just be one of those girls that throws caution to the wind and just go for it with no questions asked? Ugh. I’m a walking disaster topped off with a paranoid sweetened coating. I am going to end up like my aunt.
I watch Ethan’s even breaths as his shoulders move up and down rhythmically. I wish I could sleep so sound, but right now, my bladder is screaming
at me. I need to find his bathroom. I shift slowly as to not disturb my sleeping beauty. It’s not an easy task, but I get to the edge of the bed without too much movement. That wasn’t all that difficult in retrospect to the new conundrum. Now, the problem lies in the fact that my wheelchair is way across the room. The memories of Ethan scooping me up and carrying me to his bed make me smile. That was so erotic at the moment, but now it poses an issue. I could crawl on the floor I suppose. Super. I stare at my chair hoping I have Jedi powers and it will just start sliding towards me, but no such luck. I guess the force is not with me today. I laugh, to myself. Ethan stirs and mumbles something incoherent and I still. When he snuggles back in, I let my body slip down off the bed.
When picturing crawling across the floor, the image that appeared was one of me on all fours with two knees down and two arms gracefully holding me up. The simple fact that my limbs are still currently on strike slipped past that image. In the end, a semi-army crawl, arm over arm and me flat on my belly is what really happens. Classy, especially when I’m slithering across the floor buck naked. I heave a sharp breath of exhaustion when I get to the metal chariot waiting for me. I pull myself up trying to keep my huffing low enough to not wake Ethan. I just climbed a mountain and haven’t even peeked yet. This will get better, I mantra while wheeling myself around in search for the bathroom.
***
“What do you want to do with your life?” Ethan turns his head and looks at me pensively.
“I guess like most. The typical; find love have a family, but what I really want is to open my own private practice. Working for the hospital has given me a lot of insight and for better words gotten my feet wet.”
I laugh, “Literally,” I add. Thinking of the pool and where a majority of my therapy takes place.
I choose to avoid his ‘fall in love and grow a family’ comment. We’re on different pages on that aspect. “I’ve been conjuring up a plan,” I say.
“Oh?”
I smile widely—“I have.”
“About?”
“I want to open up my own business … with you.” Ethan’s eyebrows lift in question. “I’m a mean machine in a kitchen. You’re an amazing physical therapist.” I can tell by the dumbfounded look on his face he’s not putting the two extremely different skills in any conjoined category. “We could open up a therapy center for the disabled or injured. I could teach basic kitchen skills for those with disabilities and you could continue physical therapy work in a safe environment. Maybe we could expand into more divisions with other life skills as well.”
He lets my words soak in for a moment and I can see the light visibly brighten in his eyes as what I am offering starts to make sense. “Nikki, that is brilliant. There could be so many possibilities,”
“That’s what I was thinking.”
“How far have you gotten with this idea?”
“I wrote out a very detailed schematic, but that’s as far as I have gone.” He scoots up on the bed and tucks the pillow behind his back.
“There could possibly be government funding for a project like this.” I follow suit and scoot up to a sitting position.
“I hadn’t thought about that. I was only thinking about a privately ran business.”
“This could be the most epic thing I could accomplish in my lifetime.” He beams. His enthusiasm is bursting from every one of his pores. Doing this together most definitely will change our lives and hopefully many others as the years pass by.
Ethan rambles off possibilities and ideas as he cooks us breakfast, I had offered to help, but he insisted that I just sit and scribble down the ideas we both come up with. He has so much energy as he works back and forth from his fridge to the counter and to the stove. From what I can see the guy has some serious skills in a kitchen. His check marks are growing on my good list. I’m impressed.
After we’ve eaten and cleaned up we have a list of to-dos for each one of us to research over the next week, he has his foot in on the medical side and well me … the kitchen part. The idea of cooking is great, but my abilities to teach are another thing. There are so many more questions now that we’ve been brainstorming our thoughts. What type of licensing will we need? Do I need to be licensed to instruct? How does this all work? We have a large list that we will need to address to move forward, but it has to start somewhere. We both have our work cut out for us that’s for sure.
Ethan comes back to his kitchen table and hands me a fresh cup of coffee. “We make a good team Nikki.”
I smile shyly up at him, “yeah we do,” and then he leans forward and places his lips over mine gently intertwining his kiss with a passion I have never felt before.
Twenty
Early summer in Montana can bring either beautiful clear blue skies or rain and wind, and sometimes even snow. Today looks like we might get lucky and have a good day. Birds are chirping and playfully dancing outside of my window. I have a little pep in my step—or at least in my mood since, my leg is still refusing to cooperate. If I try to put an ounce of weight on it, outside of the pool at the therapy center, the dang thing just gives out on me. I’ve made the mistake of trying a few times this week and ended up lying flat on my face eating carpet. Mentally I want it so bad, but no matter how many self-talks and negotiations with the afflicted culprit—nothing is working.
Things between Ethan and I are going well. We should have moved a little slower and I wish we would have waited to get intimate, but it’s too late to rewind that. I’m more nervous about seeing Ramp today. He has called and texted a few times to remind me of our outing planned. I repeatedly tell myself that we are just friends. I need to tell him about Ethan and I guess vice versa. I don’t want Ethan thinking I am going behind his back in any way.
Carrie and Aaron arrive at 9:00am
“I brought you something.” Carrie pulls a coffee cup free from a tray with three more cups.
“Mmm, you brought coffee.”
“Your favorite.”
“Have I told you lately I love you?” She shrugs her shoulders while I take a sip of the hot caramel mocha.
“Maybe once or twice, you can always tell me again, but wait there’s more.” Aaron pulls a box of donuts out from behind his back, and not just any donuts, but Dawn of the Donut donuts.
“I really love you!” I exclaim eyeballing the tasty treats. Aaron takes the yummy morsels into the kitchen and Carrie and I follow close behind.
Joe and Heather sit at their normal spots at the kitchen table. Heather’s eyes light up almost just as bright as mine seeing the donut logo. “You have the best friends in the whole world.” She says.
“I know.”
My mouth wide open ready to pounce on the blueberry glazed heaven, my lips grazing the glaze—the doorbell rings. I bite down letting the sugary sweet dough melt in my mouth as Joe hops up from the table to let the next guest in. My mouth is engorged with donut when Shad walks in behind Joe.
His wide nonchalant stance and his mind melting smile stops me mid-bite. Carrie very un-stealthily kicks me. Her jaw hanging wide open. Smooth Carrie. I smile up at him the best I can without having pieces of donut flying from my mouth.
“Hi, I’m Ramp.” He waves his right hand at everyone and then slips it into his front jeans pocket. My eyes watch the movement carefully. His simple stance makes him somehow look even sexier—rebellious.
“Hello, I’m Heather this is my husband Joe and this is Carrie and Aaron.” Thankfully my sister has the decency to introduce everyone, while I lose my wits watching the sexy man and float into outer space with my blissful donut. I am so glad I invited them. I could be in big trouble if we were left alone.
***
Shad and Aaron seem to be getting along great. It helps that Shad has a distraction from me. If these two weren’t here I have a feeling Shad would be laying on the thick innuendoes.
“What do you think is taking them so long?” I look up at Carrie as she peers around the crowd to see if she can spot them.
> “I don’t know. They said they were getting us drinks. They should be back soon.” I spin around to try to get a better view just in time to see someone walk up. The last person I’d rather see again …
“Oh look it’s the cripple.” Her sharp serpent tongue stings with a lingering venom,
I shouldn’t let her words affect me, but I’m in a mentally vulnerable spot,
I have a new respect for anyone with any form of disability. I feel like a cripple being bound to this metal chassis and the fact that she’s been with Ethan on such a personal level. Jealousy rolls over me.
“You still trying to get my man to feel sorry for you? Maybe hoping he’ll take you to bed?” I roll my eyes at her unflattering childish banter, hold my tongue, hold my tongue.
“Seriously?” Carrie steps around my chair sizing the girl up with a head to toe look over.
Uh oh. This girl just opened the lid to a steaming hot pot of kernels ready to explode. Carrie is the last person you want to cross. She’s a loaded pistol. My polar opposite.
Simone’s barely slit glare slides down Carrie’s petite body and glides back sizing up every last bit of her five-foot-one -inch body frame with disdain. Don’t take her size for granted, I think it myself.
“Oh look you come with a monkey. Have you taught her how to push you around?” Simone turns toward her little groupie followers, looking for a reaction from the two girls with her. She smirks and then turns her head back at me. The smirk making her pretty face extremely ugly When I had first seen her in the lobby of the physical therapy office I had thought that she was a very attractive girl, a snobby attractive girl. Now, all I see is an ugly monster in front of me. Beauty really is only skin deep.
“The only one doing any pushing around here is Ethan when he pushes himself deeply into my friend here.”
