“I bet you could use some time off. That director of yours is a slave driver,” Griffin added, only to have his wife swat him on the arm.
“I’d be happy to play tour guide,” Colt offered. “We could start with the tour of The Stanley Hotel. They filmed The Shining miniseries there.”
“Spring break’s in a couple of weeks. The transition would be easier for Ryan then. He wouldn’t have to miss any school.”
That’s not why you want to stay, and you know it.
No, but the rationalization sounded like the perfect one for public consumption. That way if things didn’t work out with Colt she had a way to salvage her pride.
“Colt, the band would like you to say something before they start playing,” Nannette said as she joined them.
While Colt stood on stage, Stacy and Nannette sat at a back table. “Thanks, everyone, for coming tonight to support Healing Horses. That’s one thing I’ve always loved about this community, how everyone pulls together when someone’s in need.”
“I’ve got to say, you’ve surprised me,” Nannette said. “The girl that showed up at my ranch never would’ve taken the time to do what you’ve done for Colt by organizing this.”
“Colt’s done so much for Ryan, it’s the least I can do.”
He’s done so much for me.
She heard him talking about his work with Healing Horses and a thought popped into her head. He mends people.
He’d done that with Ryan. He’d mended her as well, and she hadn’t even known she needed putting back together. Because of him, she didn’t feel alone for the first time since her father died. Colt had taken some of the weight off her shoulders by helping with Ryan. He’d given her a safe place to unwind at the end of the day. A person to confide in, bounce ideas off of, someone to sit and be with if she didn’t feel like talking. He’d been the first person in her life in so long who had given more than he’d taken.
She thought of the two of them sitting in rockers on the front porch. A sunset never looked more beautiful than it did from her spot in the comfortable oak rocker he’d bought for her and placed on his front porch beside his. She could see herself sitting there with him in her old age. The realization rippled through her leaving her weak. She bit her lip.
She loved the man with all her heart, but loving someone wasn’t always enough to make a relationship work in the real world.
“There’s more to what’s going on with you and Colt, and we both know it.” The older woman’s knowing eyes stared through her.
The words that she and Colt were just friends stuck in her throat. She wouldn’t lie to Nannette, and even if she did, the older woman would see it for what her words were—a big, stinky pile of cow manure.
“Movie sets are funny places, almost a world of its own. The cast, crew and the people we come in contact with become a family of sorts. At least during filming.” Then shooting wrapped up. People said they’d keep in touch, but Stacy discovered that to be one of those polite phrases individuals spouted with all sincerity but failed to follow through on. Or, they commented on each other’s Facebook posts or tweets, and occasionally texted each other, but that wasn’t really being involved in someone’s life. “Unfortunately, a lot of the relationships forged on the set fade once the movie’s done.”
What if her relationship with Colt was one that grew out of close proximity and shared emotional events—Ryan’s therapy, facing her fear of horses, Colt’s barn fire and Jess’s revelations about her mother—but it lacked the substance to last?
“Colt cares about you. I see it in his eyes when he watches you when you’re not looking.”
But did he care enough to try to make things work between them? Enough to tackle the issues keeping them apart, like the fact that they lived in two different states? “I’m not so sure.”
“You’ll never know if you don’t give it a chance.”
“It’s not that simple. My life is in California. That’s where my mom lives. That’s where my career is.”
“Sometimes what we think is important is really just noise keeping us from hearing that little voice inside telling us what we really want our life to be about.”
Noise? The clatter in her life was deafening. Colt quieted some of the din for her. He had a way of cutting to the heart of the matter.
He’d shown her what life could be like when there was give and take. Like yesterday. Andrea had called during the lunch break. She didn’t know what to do. As if she ever did. Things weren’t going as well as her mother hoped since Grant moved back. He’d been coming home late, and when Andrea questioned him about his whereabouts, he accused her of not trusting him. Her mother went on to say Grant often wasn’t answering his cell when she tried to call him and he seemed distant. Then Andrea tearfully added she couldn’t wait for Stacy to come home.
Stacy knew the signs, having seen them time and time again with her mother’s other relationships. Andrea latched on to a man, but then became so fearful of losing him she clung to him with a desperation that drove him away.
Not once did her mother ask about how the movie was going. Nor did she ask about Ryan and if the therapy had produced any results. Unlike Colt who always asked about her day and actually cared what she said.
Stacy stared at Nannette. Strong, capable and nurturing. So unlike Andrea. Too bad we don’t get to choose our family.
“It’s not that simple. I have Ryan to think of, and my mother’s had a difficult life. Her marriage is on the rocks—”
“Life’s hard for everyone.”
Stacy froze, afraid she’d offended Nannette. What was she thinking? Nannette was a widow and a cancer survivor. “I’m sorry. That was thoughtless of me to say after everything you’ve gone through. Unfortunately, my mom doesn’t possess your strength. She relies on me so much.”
The older woman placed her hand over Stacy’s. “You’re not your mother’s keeper. She’s a grown woman. You’ve got the right to live your own life. That’s part of a parent’s job—to let go.”
That sounded wonderful, but how did she get Andrea to see the fact?
She glanced at Colt on the stage. “I want to thank Maroon Peak Pass for playing tonight. Now I’ve yammered on too long, so I’ll get out of the way for them to take over.” Colt turned to Emma and said something before he left the stage.
A minute later when he stood beside Stacy, he nodded toward Nannette and asked the older woman to excuse them. Then he slipped his hand in Stacy’s, and her heart tripped. “Dance with me. We didn’t get to do that the last time we were here.”
“There are things I need to check on—”
“I’m here to see to things. You two go on,” Nannette said, a bold matchmaker smile on her face.
“We’ve had a request for a slow one to start off the night, so grab your honey and come out on the dance floor,” Emma announced.
Colt leaned down and whispered in Stacy’s ear. “I need you in my arms.”
A shudder rippled through her as his heated breath fanned over her skin. How could she resist his husky plea and heated gaze, especially when she wanted him to hold her, too?
As she followed him onto the dance floor she told herself that tonight she’d forget about everything but Colt. When his hands slid around her waist, she leaned into him, savoring the feel of him. His strength seeped into her. If only she could bottle that feeling and take it home with her to use when dealing with Andrea left her weak and feeling drained.
“Not being able to have you in my arms has been killing me.”
She’d missed him holding her. They’d seen each other every day since Ryan started going to Colt’s house after school. The four of them ate dinner together most nights. If shooting ran late, Colt kept something warm for her and then he kept her company while she ate, but they hadn’t been alone.
“Kids, even teenagers, definitely complicate things, don’t they?”
“I’m just glad they had plans with friends tonight so we could have some time alone.”
Stacy laughed and glanced at the couples around them on the dance floor. “I don’t know what your definition of alone is, but this isn’t mine.”
“We could sneak out.”
“Of a fund-raiser for your program? Not likely, or in good taste.”
“So when would it be okay for us to cut out? And keep in mind the movie the kids are at ends at ten-forty.”
Just the thought of being with him again made her all tingly inside, but making love with him was the last thing she should do when she was leaving soon. What she needed to do was wind things down with him or decide where they went from here.
What if she brought up the idea of them continuing to see each other and he smiled, said no, thanks, but wished her luck? But wasn’t that what she wanted when she first became involved with him? No strings attached? She’d wanted things in her life—like a mother who acted like a parent—but fate never cooperated. Great time for fortune to turn the tables on her and grant her wish.
Bits and pieces of her and Colt’s discussion after they’d made love flitted through her mind. She’d been up front with him. There can’t be anything other than something casual between us. Then he’d echoed her sentiments saying they were both adults and could enjoy each other’s company. She still saw his smile when he added that there wasn’t anything wrong with that. Not exactly the response of a man who wanted a more permanent relationship.
When she’d uttered those words she’d believed them, that she’d be happy with a casual relationship. She wanted more, but couldn’t have it. There wasn’t a lot of work for an actress in a small Rocky Mountain town of eight thousand people. Plus, her mother was counting on her coming back. How could she bail on her mother with Andrea’s marriage on the rocks again?
She’d been a fool to think she could be content with something that paltry. Leaving him was going to be like leaving a part of herself behind. How could she go back to the barren wasteland that had been her life now that she’d seen what life could be like with a true partner to share it with?
She leaned closer to Colt and kissed him. She wanted this one last night to last forever and she wanted that one last time with him. “I think we could leave at ten without causing too much gossip.”
* * *
NORMALLY COLT ENJOYED socializing with his friends and neighbors, but not tonight. By the time he checked his watch for the tenth time since Stacy told him she figured they could leave at ten, he thought he’d go crazy. Nine-forty-five. How could time pass so slowly?
“Quit checking the time. People are going to think you don’t want to be here.”
He leaned forward to whisper in her ear. “They’d be right because I’d rather be home alone with you.”
“Then go on stage. Thank everyone one more time for coming and let’s get out of here.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
He forced himself to stroll up on stage and talk for a full minute before he told everyone to enjoy the rest of the night.
As he and Stacy headed for the front door, he chatted with anyone who stopped him along the way instead of shoving them aside and making a break for the door.
By the time he and Stacy walked into his house five minutes later, his jeans had become more than a bit uncomfortable. No sooner had they walked in the front door than he scooped Stacy into his arms and headed upstairs.
“This is much better than the last time you carried me off.”
“You’ve got to admit you were a pain in the ass then.”
“You sure know how to sweet-talk a girl.”
He stopped on the stairs and kissed her long and hard, like a man who thought he was drowning and she was the lifeline he’d just latched on to. “I’m a little out of practice.”
“You could have fooled me.” She slid her hand inside his shirt. Her nails skimmed over his skin sending pleasure bursting through him. He raced up the remaining stairs and into his bedroom.
He tried to swallow the lump in his throat as he placed her on his bed, but the damned thing wouldn’t budge. Earlier when Maggie announced the film only had two more days until they wrapped up, he’d wanted to grab Stacy and kiss her until she agreed to stay, because he couldn’t bear the thought of her leaving.
Then she’d changed her mind, deciding to stick around for a little longer. He’d gotten a reprieve.
Now he needed to make the most of his time with her.
She held out her arms to him and as he joined her, he forgot everything but her and the pleasure they could find in each other’s arms.
* * *
TWO DAYS LATER when Maggie called cut, pride over her accomplishment washed over Stacy. Seeing life here through Colt’s eyes, becoming a part of Ryan’s therapy team had given her insight into her character. Drawing on those things and the connections she now felt to the land and the people around her elevated her performance. No doubt about it, she’d done her best work ever in this movie.
“Filming on The Women of Spring Creek Ranch is done! Can you believe it?”
Maggie went on to thank the cast and crew for all their hard work. When everyone started leaving, Maggie approached Stacy and asked to speak to her alone. “The early buzz about the movie is better than I could’ve ever hoped for. Don’t tell anyone, but John Hammond and I are developing a script for a pilot to pitch to the network.”
A little flutter raced through Stacy. Hammond had developed more than a few top-rated shows over the years. His latest remained solidly in the top ten ratingswise.
No, she refused to hope. People pitched series all the time and only the tiniest fraction made it to filming a pilot. An even smaller portion got on the air.
“That’s wonderful. I know how much it would mean to you to shoot a series here.”
“The traveling isn’t a problem now because Michaela can come with us, but this is home.”
Yes, it was.
“We both know how tough it is to get a series on the air, but I wanted to mention it to you so you could think about it. I can’t see anyone else in your role, Stacy. When we get the script done, can I send it to you?”
“Of course.”
“Having a bankable star on board would definitely help our pitch with the network.”
Maggie’s comment shook Stacy. Three months ago she’d struggled to get auditions for A status roles and now she was considered “bankable” enough to impress the network. The entertainment industry could make a girl lightheaded from that quick a climb.
Then the implications of Maggie doing a series sank in and sent thoughts spinning through Stacy’s head. A series meant a consistent income. The stability of being in one place, being able to have a predictable home life without worrying about location shoots.
And this series would be shot in Estes Park and eliminate the long-distance relationship factor for her and Colt. Not that he’d given her any indication that he wanted anything more than a casual relationship with her, but that could change in the next few weeks.
Despite knowing she shouldn’t hope because that’s how she got hurt, Stacy found herself doing just that as she returned to her trailer. Maybe this once fate would cut her a break.
Once inside her trailer, Stacy pulled out her duffel bag to pack up her personal items. She lifted the intricate silver frame containing the picture one of the crew had snapped of her and her father dressed in fifteenth-century finery their first day on the movie set. Her finger traced the surface. What would her father think of Colt? She liked to think he would approve. That he’d say as long as Colt made her happy and was there for her he was pleased. As she placed the photo in her bag, she couldn’t help but think how different her life would’ve bee
n if her father had lived.
Andrea would have someone else to rely on, and I would have had my freedom years ago.
As she packed up her makeup, her cell phone caught her eye. She had three missed calls from her mother and three corresponding voice mails waiting. She massaged the knot in her neck and wondered what her mother wanted now.
She listened to the first message. “Grant doesn’t love me. He’s having an affair with a young actress. He filed for divorce.”
Her mother’s voice grew more frantic in the next message. “Why haven’t you called me? I need you, Stacy. I always thought you’d be there for me no matter what. That I could count on you.”
Stacy’s hands shook as she listened to the last message. “I don’t know how I can live without Grant. If I’m gone when you get home, please explain things to Ryan.”
Gone? She hadn’t heard her mother sound that desperate in years. Since Allan, her second husband, left her. Andrea couldn’t be thinking of what it sounded like. Her mother wouldn’t commit suicide, would she? Her hand trembling, Stacy punched in Andrea’s number and prayed she wasn’t too late. The phone rang. Once. Twice. Three times before her mother answered.
“Stacy? Why didn’t you call sooner?”
“I’m sorry. We were wrapping up filming, and I didn’t have my phone with me.”
“I can’t bear losing Grant.” Andrea’s voice broke. “I don’t do well living alone.”
“You’ll get through this. It won’t be easy, but you can do it.”
“I miss your father so much. I want to be with him again.” By the time Andrea finished her sentence, her words had started to slur.
“Mom, have you taken something?”
“A couple of Xanax. I’m so tired.”
Panic, hot and sharp, bolted through Stacy. “How many did you take?”
“Only a couple.”
Buzzing sounded in Stacy’s ears. Her mind started to spin. The weight she’d been carrying since her father died crushed her. She started shaking. A chill spread through her as something inside her broke. Maybe if she got cold enough, numb enough, she wouldn’t hurt. She didn’t want to feel anything because the agony squeezing her heart right now was going to kill her.
Roping the Rancher (Harlequin American Romance) Page 17
