“That’s for all of us, Jared,” Dad snaps playfully.
“Oh, alright,” Jared grumbles, releases the hostages and sits back in his seat. “But if anyone touches the chicken fingers, you’ll have to answer to Mighty Tremendous.” He narrows his eyes in warning.
“What? Mighty Tremendous?” Tobias questions.
Jared holds his arms up, flexing his bicep muscles. Unfortunately for Jared, he has none. “These right here. This one is mighty,” he kisses his left arm, “and this one is tremendous.”
“Put that away before you hurt yourself, Jared,” Dad jokes.
Both Tobias and I laugh, and of course, the warning against the chicken fingers makes Tobias and I dive for them so Jared doesn’t get any.
“Hey!” he shrieks. “I said they’re mine.”
“You were too busy showing everyone those puny arms. They saw the opportunity and went for it,” Dad laughs.
Jared huffs and sinks back in his seat. “It sucks being lanky,” he mumbles.
“We should save him one,” I say to Tobias.
“Why? He can have the fried rice. There’s plenty of that to go around.”
Jared crosses his arms in front of his chest and sulks, which, of course, makes us chuckle.
“Lucky I got one especially for you,” Dad says and slides it over to Jared.
Jared’s eyes light up, and he leaps on the second container of chicken fingers so fast, you’d think he hadn’t eaten in a year. “Thanks, Mr. J.,” he manages to say through a mouthful of chicken.
“Kids.” Dad shakes his head as he gets his plate ready.
Dinner goes by quickly, but Jared is like a bottomless pit. Tobias, Dad, and I have finished, but Jared is still eating. “How can you eat so much?” Tobias asks. “I’m a guy, and even I don’t eat that much. You haven’t taken a breath since dinner started.”
“It’s Chinese. Need I say more?” He looks to Tobias perplexed.
Tobias holds his hands up.
Dad stands and starts clearing the table, taking Jared’s plate away halfway through eating. “We still have cake, Jared. Save room for that.”
Jared winces as if in pain when Dad takes his plate. If there’s one thing I’ve seen Jared do, it’s inhale Chinese food. I love it, but he’s borderline obsessed with it. I find it amusing to watch him destroy it whenever we have it. He’s truly ravenous when he sees it.
“I better help your dad,” Jared says as he stands and stacks the dirty plates and empty containers. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” he says with a smile.
He heads inside, and Tobias and I are left here on our own. “Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?” he asks again.
“I’m not into birthdays. I don’t like anyone making a big deal about me.”
“But I want to make a big deal over you.”
“I just don’t…” I don’t finish the sentence. I look away from him, unable to tell him how I hate birthdays since Azael has been inside my head. Azael makes everything worse. He mocks anything good, and makes me feel guilty for being happy. But when I’m upset, he rubs his hands together and preys upon me.
“I get it. Birthdays aren’t your thing.”
“Yeah, I’m not a fan of them.”
“Happy birthday to you…” Dad’s holding a cake with the number ’18’ in candles, and Jared’s holding a stack of four plates, a knife and forks. All three of them break out into the ‘happy birthday’ song, and I plaster on my happy face. Though inside, I’m praying they don’t wake Azael up, and he doesn’t make an appearance.
With my heart thrashing around in my chest, and my fingers tightening around the arm of the chair, I smile and hope to get this part over as quickly as possible.
When they finish singing, I blow out the two candles, and Dad gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Here you go, sweetheart,” he says and hands me a small box.
“Dad, I don’t want anything.” I try to thrust it back to him. But he steps back, shaking his head,
“I can’t return, so you better open it.”
I open the box, and inside is a key. “What is it?” I ask, holding it up.
“I bought you a car,” Dad says, looking a cross between elated and apologetic. “It’s nothing flashy, but it’s reliable, and it’ll be what you need when you go to college. I want you to learn how to drive, and I figure this way… well, now you have to.”
He’s forcing independence on me. I know he’s doing what he thinks is a good thing. But I really don’t want to drive with Azael in my head.
I jump up out of my seat, and throw my arms around Dad. I know he means well, but he doesn’t have any idea of the ordeal I go through every day trying to fight him off. “Thank you,” I whisper. “Thank you.” I give him a kiss on his cheek and feel his stubble coming through. Stepping back, I wipe at his chin and smile. “You need to shave,” I say.
“Yeah, yeah I know. I was going for the sexy older guy look. You know, I might attract someone hot.” He waggles his brows at me.
“And that just grossed me out,” I laugh, even though I know Dad’s joking.
“Mr. J is cruising. Nice one,” Jared says. “Want me to give you a few pointers?”
“I’m not really cruising; I just haven’t shaved. And Jared, giving me pointers is useless, because I’m not interested in anyone.” Dad cuts into the rich chocolate cake he’s bought, and places pieces on the plates Jared’s handing him.
“Happy birthday, Ivy,” Jared says.
“Happy birthday, beautiful,” Tobias echoes then leans over to kiss my cheek.
I listen for Azael, and pray for him to stay away.
Dragging in a breath, I start to relax. He’s not here, which means I can enjoy the rest of my night without stressing that he’ll show up and ruin everything.
A girl can hope… right?
“Did you hear what happened?” Jared asks as we walk to class.
It’s Wednesday, and thankfully, the day is nearly over. Since I kicked my demon out on Sunday, he’s been hanging around, trying to get my attention. And today isn’t a good day. He’s hovering, waiting to pounce.
“No, what happened?” I respond as we sit down in English class. Rubbing my temples, I can feel the onset of a headache. I get migraines occasionally, but only when the stress gets to the point where even he can’t help me.
“Tyler Lewis has been suspended.”
Surprised, I turn to look at Jared. “Tyler?” Jared nods his head. “Why?”
“Apparently, he took footage of the girls in the locker room.”
“Why would he do that?” I shake my head in doubt. “Tyler has always wanted to be a lawyer. And he’s trying to get into college on a scholarship. That’ll ruin his chances. What the hell was he thinking?” I say, still shocked.
“I know, right? Tyler Lewis, of all people.”
“How did he get caught?”
“Mrs. Richards caught him.”
“Huh?” I turn, surprised. “How?”
“Well, I heard Isabel telling Katie how Mrs. Richards had to step in and be the sport teacher yesterday because Coach had some kind of emergency. Anyway, long story short, Mrs. Richards went to the girls’ locker room, and saw him hanging around outside. She watched him, ‘cause she thought he was acting weird. Apparently, he was biting his nails and pacing back and forth, and when the girls left the locker room, he ran in and grabbed his phone. She caught him having recorded the girls.”
My mouth falls open, in both disgust and disbelief. “What. The. Hell?”
“Tell me about it.”
“But Tyler is straight As, a total book nerd. I mean he’s the most strait-laced person I know,” I nearly shout, still shocked.
“I know.”
“This will ruin not only his college chances, but also his scholarship chances.”
Jared shrugs. “Definitely college. I heard our principal had to report it to police.”
“Oh, shit,” I mumble and run my hand over my face. “Wha
t was he thinking?” I pinch the bridge of my nose.
“I know,” Jared says again. “You know what I thought, though?”
“What?”
“If he’s done it once, then I bet he’s done it before.”
“I don’t know, Jared. If he was nervous, and biting his nails and pacing, then maybe he hasn’t done it before, and he was petrified of getting caught.”
“Well, he definitely got caught. And now, he’s screwed. College won’t touch him, and if college won’t touch him, he ain’t going to law school.”
“I really can’t believe he did that. I mean, what made him think, ‘hey, let’s record the girls while they’re in the locker room’? What kind of creep does that?”
“I never took him for a creep, but I suppose it’s the quiet ones we gotta look out for.”
I scrunch my nose and open my laptop.
Tobias strides into the class room, and sits beside me where there’s a spare seat. “Hear about that Tyler kid?” he asks me.
“Yeah, Jared told me. What a stalker to record the girls in the change rooms.” I crinkle my nose, as a shiver rips through me. A cloud of doubt forms in my head. What if he has done this before, and he’s recorded me in there?
“Fucking sick,” he says. His eyes have glossed over, and his mouth is turned down in a frown. “People like him deserve prison.”
This seems to have affected Tobias quite strongly. “You okay?” I ask as I position my body so Jared can’t hear me.
“I’m fine. I just don’t like scum. And he’s scum.” Tobias is angry. His eyes alone would warn anyone to not go near him.
“Hey.” I grab his hand, and rub my thumb over the skin on the back of it. “You okay?” I ask again. This time I’m really concerned about him.
His gaze holds mine for a few seconds, before he looks down to where our hands are touching. “People like him make me sick. My mind goes in so many different places when I hear shit like this. I mean, what stops him taking it one step further and actually sexually abusing someone?”
I can’t help but agree with him. “We have to trust that he’d never do something like that.” Why am I defending him?
“Why not? He taped the girls in their own space. If he got away with it, why wouldn’t he progress to sexual assault?”
“I don’t know.” I look away from him, shrugging my shoulders slowly. “Maybe he’s not that kind of person.”
“Did you know he was recording the girls?”
“Of course not. It’s not that I don’t want to believe he did it, I…” I take a deep breath and try to gather my thoughts, “…I want to believe this is an isolated incident.”
“What if he has a little sister?” Tobias’s questions instantly churns my stomach. “Or a little brother?” This time his voice is much softer, as if he doesn’t want me to hear it. Quickly, I turn my head to look at him, but his head is down and he’s rubbing his temple with his free hand. Something deeper is bothering him, and although I shouldn’t ask, I really want to.
“Tobias?” I whisper to him. He turns his head; his eyes beg me not to say another thing. He’s not going to answer even if I ask, I can see the pleading stare. “It’s okay,” I say again.
This time, my words seem to do something to him. He nods his head and offers me a smile. It’s weak, but it’s there. “I know,” he replies.
“Class,” our English teacher announces as he walks in. It’s not our usual teacher; it’s someone else. “I’m Mr. Lester, and I’m the substitute this week. I’ve been brought up to date with where you are in the lesson plan, so let’s get started.”
The class hushes, and everyone either opens their laptops or their books. I look over at Tobias who’s gazing outside. His far-away stare tells me to leave him alone. When Mr. Lester starts talking, it takes Tobias a few moments to leave his troubled mindset and return his attention to class.
It’s then I wonder something disquieting about his dirty little secret.
Yes, Ivy. He has demons too.
I know, Azael, I know.
Thanksgiving is only a few days away, and even though we seldom get snow here, the weather has definitely cooled down.
“Hey, I wanted to let you know, Clara asked if you want her to make a pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving,” Tobias asks as I pick at my lunch in the school cafeteria.
“Yeah, if she wants.” I’ve been distracted lately. Stressing is more accurate. My demon has been quiet for a while, and this is worrying me. Maybe he’s surrendered and decided to leave me alone, but what I fear most is he’s gathering his strength, waiting to strike when I’m at my utmost worst.
“Did you hear what I said?” Tobias asks nudging me and bringing me back to the now.
“Huh?” I lower my head and look at my lunch, scolding myself for thinking about him.
“Mom asked if you want us to make the turkey.”
“Turkey… yeah. No, I’m making that.”
“What’s wrong?” He leans over to tuck some loose hair behind my ear. “You look distracted. What’s bothering you?”
Shaking my head, I look to Tobias and offer him a smile. “Nothing, I’m perfect.”
His gaze examines me, as if I’m lying to him. I’m not lying, I just don’t want to tell Tobias about Azael. He won’t understand. Or, maybe he will, because maybe he cuts too. Not that I’ve seen any scars on his body. I’ve looked when I can, but there’s been nothing there. His skin is perfectly smooth, with no lines anywhere. But then again, I’m a master of deception; maybe he is too.
“Bullshit, Ivy. Something’s wrong and you’re acting weird.”
“Weird?” I laugh. “I don’t think we’ve officially met.” I stick my hand out to shake his, “Hi, I’m Ivy, and I am weird.” I shove my hand closer to him.
Tobias looks down at it and sniggers. “Yeah, you’re weird, alright. No wonder I like you.” He winks at me. I feel it in my stomach, a sensation like butterflies fluttering their little wings.
“You know what I want to do?” I ask as I stare at him. He has such a beautiful strong chin.
“What?” he draws the question out with hesitation.
“I want to take photos of you.”
His mouth drops, and his eyes widen. “Why would you want to do that?”
“Because I think you’re beautiful,” I blurt without even thinking. I instantly cover my mouth in embarrassment.
“Beautiful?” He arches a brow, though his lips turn up into a cheeky grin. He scratches his neck, distracting me. “It’s not an adjective I’d think of to describe myself. Let’s see, if you said, handsome…” He puffs his chest out and lifts his chin, “… then I’d accept that without question. Or even if you said, sexy, I’d definitely be okay with that one,” he boldly announces. “But beautiful?” Tobias scrunches his nose and shakes his head. “Not beautiful.”
“Well, I think you’re beautiful.” Smirking, I playfully smack his arm.
He leans over, bowing his head so his mouth is incredibly close to my ear. His closeness affects me. The rush of his words is already sending my heart skipping merrily in my chest. Closing my eyes, I tilt my head so we’re close. Extremely close.
I can feel his warm breath on the sensitive skin on the nape of my neck. Oh god.
“I like how you think I’m beautiful.” He sweeps his mouth over my skin. The heat of his breath, the wetness of his mouth causes a flurry of excitement to wash over me. “Because I think you’re beautiful too.”
And in a rapid movement, his lips have disappeared. Swallowing back the desire I have for him, I pull away and compose myself. It takes me a few moments to gather my sanity. “You’re going to be the end of me, Tobias,” I say as I fan myself. While I can’t see it, I know I’m flustered.
“I think you have that wrong. You’re going to be my undoing. You’re crumbling all my walls. Each and every one of them.” I can’t help but smile. I want to destroy his walls, so he’ll open up to me and tell me all his secrets. And hopefully, when I
tell him all of mine, he’ll understand and not be scared or judgmental.
Looking around the cafeteria I notice no one is paying any attention to us. “Tobias?” He casts his gaze over to me. “Are your walls scary?”
“My walls aren’t, but my demons are… or I should say, they used to be.” He said demons. That’s what I call mine. Azael is a demon, a monster, maybe even the devil himself.
“Can we go somewhere? Do something?”
“As in ditch school?” Tobias’s shoulders rise as he straightens his back.
“Not ditch, but straight after. Can we… talk?” What’s wrong with you, Ivy? Are you going to tell him? No, of course not. Tobias frowns and his jaw tightens. “Sorry, we don’t have to go anywhere if you don’t want to.” Like an arrow straight to my heart, regret courses through me. I caught a glimpse of a high with his kiss, now a low with his lack of interest. “I’m being dumb,” I immediately back pedal. “I’ve got stuff to do today.” Standing, I grab my tray and try to get away from him.
“Hey.” He grips at my wrist before I can leave. “Why are you running?”
Frustrated with myself, I stare away from Tobias. “This is bullshit,” I mumble.
“What’s bullshit?”
“Just… forget I said anything, okay?” I plead with him.
“I want to spend time with you. Whatever’s going through your head, you have to calm it down.” He steps closer to me, and lifts his arms so he can hug me.
I can feel my brows scrunching, unsure. Is he saying what I want to hear, or does he actually want to hang with me?
Ivy…
My shoulders become rigid as I straighten my back. I have to control him, I can’t let him try to get in my head here. He’ll make what’s going on in my head worse than it already is.
The moment Tobias’s arms are around me, he disappears. Does my demon not like Tobias? When I’m around Tobias, he seems to remain quiet.
I squeeze Tobias.
“Thank you,” I whisper to him.
Drowning Page 13
