Below Unforgiven

by Stedronsky, Kimberly

  She reached for my hand again. “She’s a strong woman.”

  I gripped her hand in return, wanting to just pull over and kiss her again. I loved that she didn’t judge me, or my family. She was an anomaly in my world of self-centered, selfish women.

  And I had found her.

  Forcing a smile, I moved to change the heavy subject. “I’m looking at budget, parking, permits, security, gratuities… scenes. Production value. I need plenty of space for the film crew, and amenities for the actors.”

  “Doesn’t a location scout do all of this?”

  “Yes. And since my budget is tight and Frank is the only one I’ve got right now, I’m on my own.”

  “How can I help?” She urged, tightening her ponytail and reaching for her phone. “I’ll make a list of what I should be looking for.”

  I thought about Frank’s phone call, and the details of the Pennant Park murder. A woman’s body was found, strangled, with hands bound beneath the Round-Up.

  On the phone, Frank had sounded like he was sweating. “I already had to answer a million questions, Keaton. The only reason they didn’t go after you is because they know you’re in Pennsylvania. They want you here Monday morning for questioning.”

  “They just believed you when you told them I was with my family?”

  “Kid, you’ve been on news for two days, ever since those asshole drone reporters found out about the murder being connected to the script. And Kelsey came in here fucking fuming because, apparently, you can’t be proposing to that country girl if you’re already married. I can’t help but agree with the bitch.”

  “Okay. Thanks, Frank.”

  After a few minutes of silence, I realized that she had closed her eyes and was dozing against my shoulder. I tightened my hold on her, bending to press a kiss to her hair. In the warm, afternoon air, I caught a whiff of the shampoo I’d used on her last night, and the memories of her dancing to the Dusty Springfield song in her lacy underwear sent a crooked smile to my face.

  Something instinctual deep inside my chest made me pull her even closer. I’d never, not in all of the years that I’d been married to Kelsey, felt this protective over a woman. Kelsey was confident, and spoiled, and rarely needed me for much more than money or sex. I told myself that I didn’t care that she’d cheated on me, but in the bright sunlight on the busy highway, as the warm summer air tossed Vivian’s hair against my shoulder, I admitted that I did mind. I fucking minded a hell of a lot.

  I was hurt.

  My ego was hanging on by a thread, and my heart thundered almost painfully behind my ribs. I hated to admit that I’d let Kelsey take anything from me, but the truth was that she had. She’d taken my ability to believe that a woman could want me for more than my wealth or my popularity. To Kelsey I’d been a ladder, and as she climbed each fucking rung, I lost a little more respect for her-and all women, in general.

  With Vivian, everything felt new.

  I laughed to myself, realizing I sounded like a Simon and Garfunkel song. I wasn’t a stupid kid anymore. I knew she was an actress, and to her I was a job- a way to make enough money to pay Numero Uno back so that she could move on with her life. But now, she wanted me. I knew that once I made love to her, she was young and inexperienced enough to trust me when I asked her to come to California with me.

  I kissed her again, not giving one shit about letting myself fall.

  Thanks to Frank, two tickets and paper bracelets waited for me at the gate, along with a map and a personal welcome letter from the owner.

  “Are we here?” She stretched, lifting her chin to meet my lips.

  “We’re just pulling into the parking lot. How are you feeling?”

  “Better,” she admitted, brushing the stray strands of hair from her face. “My headache went away. I’ll never drink that much again. I have a problem controlling myself after the first two.”

  “Admitting is the first step.”

  “Admitting that I’m a budding alcoholic?” She mused, watching me shift into park.

  I turned to her, lowering my voice as I leaned into her neck. “Admitting that you’re powerless.”

  She held her breath, and I loved hearing her tiny moan as I dropped my lips to her neck. She let me lick along her collar bone, exhaling in short, repetitive gasps as I sucked on her pale skin.

  “I’m powerless,” she agreed softly, and I groaned, gripping her upper arms and pushing her away from me.

  “Jesus, Vivian.”

  She lifted those mirrored eyes to mine, her lips wetted and swollen, and smiled. “I want you to make love to me, Keaton.” She covered her heart with her hand. “I feel like you’re already here. Permanently.”

  I took her arm and wound the yellow, paper bracelet around her left wrist. The diamond on her finger constantly caught my eye on her delicate hand, splaying the sunlight and reminding me that she had agreed.

  To marry me.

  Whether it was all a part of the illusion for her or not, I couldn’t be sure. “You know, there’s this thing that wise men say about fools rushing in. You are aware of that, right?”

  She only leaned closer. “Two fools. Check. Rushing, check.”

  “It feels good though, doesn’t it?” I prodded, removing the plastic backing of the bracelet and fitting it around her wrist.

  “I don’t think before I jump. Obviously, neither do you. That can’t be good.”

  “Does he think everything through?” I asked, and then motherfucked myself for even bringing him up.

  She stiffened. Goddamnit.

  “Yes. And then he makes a list. And an agenda. And then he reviews all options, researches all outcomes, and then finally makes a decision.”

  “Sounds like a big waste of time,” I murmured, and she shrugged.

  “Making the wrong decisions can be a big waste of time, though, right? In the long run?”

  “Do you think you’re making the wrong decision, Vivian?”

  “What, coming here with you?” She clarified, and those telltale hives began with a red flush. “I don’t know if it’s the wrong decision, but it was definitely rash.”

  “It’s okay to change your mind.”

  “I know that,” she acknowledged with a small sigh.

  “Even at the last minute. Even if I’ve got those long legs of yours wrapped around my hips, and my slithering cock is just centimeters away from your moistened, clenching-”

  “Keaton!” She cried, breaking into relieved laughter, and I smirked.

  “Just so you know,” I assured her, moving around the car to open her door. “I’ll understand. And I’ll still feel the same way about you.”

  “What way is that?”

  The gravel parking lot led to a paved hill, and I simultaneously noted that the film crew would have a hard time getting their equipment over the hill and that I was about to say it.

  It.

  “I’ll tell you later.” My curt reply was borderline edgy.

  Did I love her? Would she think that if I told her that I did, it would just be to sleep with her? Would she over-analyze the hell out of her feelings like I had just caught myself doing?

  Fucking hell. She made me crazy. Er.

  We entered the park in the Old West section called Hoot ‘n Holler. I fumbled for my phone, needing to snap some panoramic photos, but her purring voice interrupted me.

  “Keaton?”

  “Yeah, kiddo?”

  She stood on her tip-toes, stopping me outside of an old jail. “If you’re going to tell me… what I think you’re going to tell me, could you wait until you’re inside of me?”

  Holy hell.

  The jail exhibit to our left was closed, but no one was watching as I swung her into the unlocked building and slammed the door.

  The iron bars along the small, walk-through display surrounded us on both sides. Through the shadows, fiberglass mannequins made up to look like old criminals of the West watched with wide, painted eyes. I hoisted her up against the jail cel
l.

  She gripped the iron bars, exhaling with a cry as I went for her jeans. My hands supported her ass, and I squeezed, kneading her soft flesh, listening to her pleasured moan.

  “Keaton…,”

  “Now, Vivian,” I growled, lifting her chest, cupping, weighing her swollen breast in my hand before closing my mouth over her hardened nipple. She climbed even higher in my arms using just her hands on the bars, and I yanked my jeans down.

  She lowered her eyes, watching as I fumbled in my pocket for the condom.

  “We’re safe,” she panted.

  I wanted to ignore her and slide the condom over myself. Had it been any other woman, I would have just continued tearing at the paper.

  But I wanted to feel her.

  Instead, I dropped the wrapper to the floor, lifting my eyes to hers as she adjusted her position against the bars.

  Gently, I ran my finger along her folds, and she swallowed, pinching her eyes closed. I pushed one finger deep inside of her, feeling her get even wetter and tighten against my intrusion.

  “Are you sure?” I breathed, sliding another finger inside, and her breathing accelerated. When she opened her eyes, the blue orbs were sparkling, swimming with tears.

  “Yes,” she managed.

  “You’re ready for me,” I slowed, dropping delicate kisses over her neck. She raised her hips, forcing me to press even deeper.

  Pulling my fingers away, I positioned myself just outside her entrance. Her beautiful voice cracked as she met my eyes. “I’ve been ready for you for a long time, Keaton.”

  Groaning, I gave up trying to go slow.

  Her back arched against the metal bars as I thrust, drew back, and plunged again. She felt so fucking good, so right, expanding for me, clenching against my every movement. As her hips began to rock to receive me, I gripped her chin, dropping my mouth to her lips.

  Her cries stoked the fire already raging, and it took my every effort not to come first. Her left hand slid down the bars and I felt more of her slight weight, supporting her as she dropped her arm over my shoulder.

  “Tell me,” she begged, her fingers pushing into my hair. “Tell me now.”

  “Vivian,” I ripped, feeling her contract around me, listening to her pleasured cries as I slammed her against the bars. “I’m in love with you.”

  She came at that moment, and as I felt her release, she screamed my name. I clamped my hand over her lips gently, hoping to stifle her cries for the people outside.

  Unable to hold back any longer, I clung to her, growling into her shoulder as I poured myself into her beautiful body.

  The months that had passed since I’d been with Kelsey had obviously been too long. I wasn’t a spiritual person, but the moment that I came, I felt like I’d given her part of my soul.

  To take, to use.

  To break.

  “How? How can you love me so soon?” She reprimanded, barely able to speak through her racing breaths.

  “How can you love me so soon?” I accused, keeping her still in my arms. The reality of the words I’d just spoken to her was destroying my high.

  “I’m not afraid. So I do.”

  I kissed her then, the kind of kiss that belonged in front of our families after I’d exchanged vows with her. Whether it was the fact that I’d just spent the weekend with my family, or Luke’s wedding, or the profound pounding of my heart as I stood there, still inside of Vivian Hale, I knew that I wanted.

  I knew what I wanted, despite the armor I’d constructed around my heart. With her, for some reason, it was safe to feel this way.

  It was safe to admit that I was just a man who wanted to love a woman, and be loved in return.

  I hated feeling so fucking vulnerable, but there was no other way with Vivian.

  I stared into her eyes, begging her to feel the same way.

  “It’s okay,” she whispered, watching as my hands covered hers, gripping the bars. “There are millions of people in this world. No one is reading our story. No one is watching our movie. It’s just us. And we can love each other as fast or as slow as we want to.”

  She was the wisest woman that I’d ever held in my arms. I could only kiss her again, her mouth, her cheek, her cringing eyes as she timidly squirmed at the mess between her legs.

  “Come on, kiddo, let’s clean you up before someone finds us.”

  “Okay,” she agreed, unable to hold back a sudden burst of laughter.

  “What?” I demanded with a smile.

  “Well… those blankets on the cots over there… are real, right?”

  I glanced at the exhibit, winking at her. “The ability to improvise is essential in acting. You know what else is important in an actress?”

  “What?” She asked, shifting slightly as I pressed my mouth to her ear.

  “Me.”

  “Keaton!” She laughed, and I gave her ass a teasing swat before lowering her to her feet.

  We snuck out the back door of the jail, and her playful giggles plastered a permanent smile on my face. The restrooms weren’t far from where we were, and after a quick stop she admitted that she was finally hungry.

  We ate at an outdoor restaurant in the park that was set up to look like an old mine. The Potato Patch was busy with families, and we settled next to each other on a picnic table, fresh-cut French fries piled high on our trays. She refused ketchup and opted for vinegar, and I smirked, dropping a kiss to the tip of her nose.

  “That’ll make for some great breath later.”

  “Mmm. You’d kiss me anyway,” she argued.

  “I’d kiss you anywhere,” I corrected, doing just that. She closed her legs against the hand that I had sliding between her knees, sighing against my mouth.

  The summer sunshine pouring through the spokes of the Ferris wheel could have been manufactured by a movie crew. I led her into a red cart, and time disappeared for almost an hour as we kissed, suspended over the park.

  I couldn’t stop kissing her if she begged me. I loved how she pulled her hair from the ponytail, letting me slide my fingers through the locks as I positioned her face just right. I wanted her already, again.

  And again.

  I felt so young. I should have been speaking to the grounds keepers, taking photos of the landscape and notes about the park, but instead I led her from ride to ride. “Luke and I used to eat those giant waffle cones over there, and then ride the Tea Cups, trying to get each other to puke.”

  “That sounds… so fun, actually,” she admitted as I pulled the bar down to secure us into the Whip. “I always wanted a sister to do those things with. But Gram would always ride with me. Even when I was dressed like Pocahontas,” she added.

  The ride began to move in a slow circle, and I tucked my arm over her shoulders, lowering my mouth to her ear. “I would love to see that now,” I teased.

  She lifted her lashes, those eyes of hers stealing my thoughts.

  “I’m having so much fun,” she admitted, almost hesitant. “I’m afraid it’s going to end.”

  We snapped around the end of the large oval. She laughed as a cart of girls directly in front of us squealed and threw their hands into the air.

  “Come with me. To California,” I blurted as we approached another whip.

  “What?” Her eyes widened, and her smile fell as Britney Spears blared through the speakers on the pole near the control booth.

  “Come with me. To California. Live with me.”

  “Keaton, you’re… you have this whole other life, and I’m…,” she started to say something, but the whip was already cracking us around another turn.

  “You’re what? Living in Gram’s basement? Working five different jobs? Let me take care of it, Vivian. Let me take care of you.”

  “What do you mean, take care of me?” Her temper made her grow rigid against my side, and I shook my head.

  “I don’t mean like that. I mean… we’ll take care of each other. We can’t try to make this work if we’re thousands of miles apart. S
top running.”

  The ride came to a stop.

  She climbed out of the car, refusing to look at me as we exited through the wooden gate. Before she could pass the Round Up, I grabbed her hand, pulling her against me.

  “Wait.”

  She watched as I removed her engagement ring. Sliding it off of her finger, I studied her reaction.

  When I finally had it in my hand, I continued to hold onto her, dropping to one knee in the gravel.

  Several people turned our way, and Vivian’s eyes widened as I held the ring between us.

  “This can mean whatever you want it to mean,” I prefaced, watching her lips widen into a smile.

  “Oh!” One woman to our right cried dreamily, gripping her toddler’s hand as the kid shoved cotton candy into his mouth.

  “I won’t make a bunch of promises to give you the perfect life, and to love you forever,” I added, slipping the ring back onto her finger. “Just let me show you what I can do. Give me an audition.”

  “Keaton,” she whispered, and now we had an entire audience of cheering park patrons. “Are you seriously asking me to marry you? Is this just one of your acronyms acting up again?”

  I gave a breathy laugh, gripping her hand possessively. “No. Maybe. I’m asking you to take this fucking ring and promise to give us a chance. Are you willing to do that?”

  I waited, staring up at her from my knees.

  She laughed, a tearful exhale that forced an instant smile to my face.

  “You’re crazy. I’m crazy. Yes, to whatever you’re asking me,” she replied, so that only I could hear. I stood, swept her into my arms, and laid an Oscar-worthy kiss on her lips. The group around us burst into happy applause.

  “Yeah, I’m crazy. But admit it, this weekend was better than six to nine months of dating in California, worrying that I won’t commit.”

  “I don’t think you have any commitment issues, Maverick,” she teased.

  I pulled her closer in my arms.

  This Is The End

  V

  I made love to Keaton.

  The words repeated over and over in my head.