Shadow of the Factorum: The Interview

by K. A. Trent

  “How long?” Kerra asked her. “I’m stuck with…this…until we find out one way or another.”

  “As long as it takes,” Doctor Fitz said harshly, shooting a slight glare in Kerra’s direction. “You can’t rush science.”

  Doctor Fitz was a slightly older woman. I could see that her hair was different from Kerra’s; there were streaks of gray intertwined with brown, and her skin seemed more worn; she was older, but I didn’t know how much older. In the Factorum I’d heard of people keeping track of time using measurements, but we never had any need for that.

  “I don’t see why it has to be done at all,” Kerra growled. “Just put it back in the Factorum where it belongs.”

  “Kerra, would you mind stepping outside for a moment?” Doctor Fitz turned to address Kerra. “This next part requires some privacy.”

  “Why does it need privacy?” She demanded. “It’s not like you’re treating a dog.”

  “You’re correct, Kerra. I am most certainly not treating a dog. I’m treating a person. Be that, as it may,” Doctor Fitz voice began to escalate. “You’re pushing rank where you have none, Constable.”

  Kerra pursed her lips and turned on her heel, walking toward the exit and through the door, which slid open for her. Doctor Fitz turned to me and studied my face for a moment. My eyes went immediately to the floor.

  “You don’t have to be afraid of me,” She said flatly. “I’m not like them. Lay down on the table for me.”

  I obediently pulled myself up and laid flat; the surface was soft, maybe a bit less soft than the bed they’d assigned to me when I’d first gotten here. How had I gotten here? I couldn’t remember anything. I lay motionless and stared straight upward as she examined my body. I could hear sighs of disapproval every now and then as she came across a bruise or a scar. Finally she removed her hands and shook her head sadly.

  “I’ll give you antibiotics and a salve for the open wounds. I would tell you to take better care of yourself but we both know it’s out of your hands. As for the other issue, I’ll take blood samples and a cheek swab, which we’ll have processed at one of our labs. I’m sorry, I can’t fake the results for you, and we both know the likelihood of a positive outcome.”

  I had no idea what she was saying.

  “I want to go back,” I said finally as she placed a cylindrical object against my arm. I felt a sting.

  “That’s not an option,” She said. I was surprised at her tone of voice, she didn’t seem angry, and wasn’t talking down to me, she simply seemed distracted.

  “Please.” I froze. I had asked again, nearly without meaning to. It was bold of me to ask after being told no. I was surprised at my desperation.

  “If you really, truly are transgender, then you not only don’t belong down in the Factorum, but the people won’t stand for it. When the patriarchy fell nearly two centuries ago, transgender women were the first into the fight. They knew the stakes and they died for us, and that’s in our history books. Now, here you are, after we eradicated the gene, centuries later. Some people asked if you were lying about it, but here’s the thing…you can’t be. You’ve been locked in the Factorum for your entire life, what are you, fourteen? Fifteen? All knowledge of transgenderism was reduced to a footnote over the centuries; it’s a wonder Callie was able to dig up so much information on it. You don’t have access to the net, you didn’t find it there. No one told you about it. Yet, you told Callie that you were ‘like her’. That had to come from somewhere, and lucky for you, she has a lot of pull. She’s out there, fighting for you right now.”

  “Maybe she shouldn’t.”

  “Why?”

  “What am I worth?” I closed my eyes and turned my head, briefly exhaling before opening my lids and staring at the white wall opposite her. “I’m just…”

  “You’re about to be far more than you think. This test, well, I’m sure it worked well back when the science was more prominent, but today our testing methods are a bit…I don’t know. The results will probably come back inconclusive. I’m saying that because you carry yourself like a girl, you speak softly, like a girl, you have all the traits of a young girl. There isn’t much masculine about you. That being said, I’m going to recommend, for your sake, that you begin the process of integrating yourself into our culture.”

  I turned my head back to her, my brow furrowed, confused.

  “What?”

  “If you really are transgender, then making a transition both socially and aesthetically will be relatively simple. I’m going to recommend to Kerra, your handler, that she begin to help you with the behavioral transition.

  “I don’t think I’m worth it.”

  “I’m sorry,” She said, motioning for me to sit up. “That’s no longer your decision to make.”

  She crossed the room and pressed a control set into her wristband and spoke to the air.

  “Kerra, I’m all done in here.”

  The door opened once again and Kerra stepped through. She all but ignored me, instead speaking to Doctor Fitz as if I weren’t even in the room.

  “Healthy,” Doctor Fitz said, referring to me. “Other than the obvious. I’ve taken the necessary samples, but it will take-- let’s be honest-- months for us to get any kind of answer. In the meantime I’ve written up some orders, which I trust will be followed.”

  “I don’t know why you care so much,” Kerra said, staring at her tablet. She poked at it, the device made the corresponding tones as she flipped through several pages of content. “We’re just going to put it back where it belongs.”

  “My job is to care for human life, that’s a human life, Kerra.”

  “Most of the world begs to differ,” Kerra tucked the pad into her thigh pocket and walked toward me. “Get up, now.”

  I obeyed without hesitation, but this time glanced over to Doctor Fritz. I didn’t know what I was looking for from her. She regarded me coldly once again, barely glancing my way and then exiting the room through a side door. Kerra placed her hand on the back of my neck and pushed me toward the exit. We walked the entire way back to the room with her fingers gripping my neck and her nails digging into my flesh. I winced and involuntarily tried to duck a few times, but her grip was always strong enough to right me.

  “Stop squirming,” She growled as she shoved me through the door and into the room with the bed and the shower. “If you try to get away from me like that again I’ll make sure you regret it.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered as she loosened her grip, but suddenly, I felt the palm of her hand slam against the side of my face. The impact radiated across my skin, causing my vision to flash white for a split second as my body hurtled toward the floor. I tried to break my fall with the palm of my hand, but instead smashed my elbow against the floor. I screamed as my cheek impacted shortly after and I lay against the thinly carpeted floor, tears pooling within my vision. I sobbed and curled into a fetal position, sobs erupting from my mouth as she stood over me with a look of vile contempt on her face.

  “Don’t speak!” Her voice was loud, sharp; it sliced into my soul. “I didn’t tell you to open your mouth! Do what you’re told, when you’re told. Now stop acting like a disgusting male and get up off the floor.”

  I did it, slowly but surely. I forced myself up to my knees and with the support of the bedside table, I managed to stand, at least partially. I couldn’t remember being this afraid. In the Factorum, the guards were frightening, they commanded authority, but this was something completely different. She wasn’t a large woman, she wasn’t that imposing, not physically anyway. She was thin, maybe a hundred and twenty pounds, if not a bit more. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a tie of some kind, and she was a full head taller than me. She shouldn’t have been that scary, but she was. My life was in her hands whether I liked it or not.

  “The instructions from Doctor Fitz say I’m supposed to teach you the basics of being a woman. Stupid really, you’re just going back. But you know what? It’s what you wanted, oth
erwise you wouldn’t have said ‘I’m like you’. You want to be like us? Fine, I’ll show you, and I’m going to make it hurt.”

  Chapter 3

  "I don't know what you eat down in the Factorum, but we're going to try something different," Kerra set a metal tray down in front of me atop the tray she'd extended from the wall. It was shiny, smooth, each piece of food separated into sections. I stared at it in both wonder and apprehension as I tried to figure out what I was expected to eat. "It's all plant based; we worked meat out of our diet a long time ago because of foodborne illnesses. That's a pretty good imitation steak though; from what I hear it tastes just like the real thing. Whatever the real thing tastes like."

  I didn't know what a steak was, and I didn't dare open my mouth to ask her, but I suddenly realized how hungry I was. It had been hours since I'd awakened in this room, and before that, I'd been in the Factorum, level one-hundred and eighty-six. I could still feel the cold metal in my hands. How much time had passed since then? My stomach growled and I felt the pangs of hunger set in. Without a second thought I found myself reaching for the plate, only to be abruptly stopped by Kerra's voice.

  "Stop slouching over; sit up straight in the chair."

  I froze, I didn't know what she meant; this was how I always sat.

  "Straighten your back," She repeated her command. "Get your chest away from the table. Sit back. If I have to tell you again, I will hurt you."

  I tried to do what she said; I pulled myself upward in the chair, making sure my back was flush with it. It was uncomfortable, but I dared not let my posture go again. I was hungry, but the very act of eating was made unbearable by the restrictions placed on my movement. I felt stiff, the tension in my back was causing untold amounts of fatigue. Did people really do this to eat?

  "Better," She said dryly, her tone betraying no real sense of approval. I cringed as she stepped around the small table, her bootsteps resonated throughout the room. I closed my eyes in anticipation, my skin crawled and tightened in fear. My shoulders stiffened. "Put your knees and feet together, keep that back straight."

  I reached for the tray once again and took the steak in one hand, trying to grip it between two fingers when suddenly, I felt the impact across my hand; a searing pain that felt as if it had cut deep within my bones. I hurled my head toward the ceiling and screamed in pain as Kerra pulled the switch back and struck again. My reflexes began to push me from the chair, but I suddenly found myself held in place by her boot resting firmly against my lap and keeping my legs pinned to the chair. I cried out again as she stood over me with an expression of complete apathy.

  "Do you not see the utensils beside the tray?" She demanded. "We don't eat with our hands; we're not savages. Use the fork and the knife."

  I tried to guess which was which, but in the end she had to show me. I kind of got the hang of it, and ended up with a piece of crudely cut meat at the end of what she called a fork. I looked up at her, asking for permission with a single expression of utter fear plastered against my face. When I received nothing in return, I placed the food into my mouth and gasped as I experienced the most incredible sensation of taste in my life. I had nothing to compare it to, as I’d never had such a wonderful experience, and for a moment the pain from Kerra's switch was entirely forgotten. A sound of near surprise and shock lurched forward from my throat and for the first time, as I looked up, I could swear I saw Kerra's thin lips break a smirk. I tried to regain my composure and did my best to keep my back straight as she'd said for the entirety of the meal. She waited patiently as I ate, but I noticed that she never stopped me. I was confused, was there no time limit for meals? Did I have as long as I wanted? I began to wonder if everyone up here lived like this; I couldn't imagine being able to take as long as you wanted to finish your tray.

  "You need to slow down," she said as I finished. "You ate that entire tray in two minutes. You're going to give yourself indigestion. And civilized people don’t eat like that."

  I suddenly wanted to ask her how long I was supposed to take but I thought better of speaking. I sat straight up at the table, waiting for her command, and within a few seconds, she'd set a white pill and a clear glass of water in front of me. I marveled at the clarity of the water; I didn't think I'd ever seen a glass of water in such bright lighting. The pill I was unsure about.

  "It's a hair growth supplement," She explained. "A little stronger than the stuff you'd find on the market. Is long hair feminine? Not necessarily, but it'll hide the parts of your face that give you away. What are you waiting for? In your mouth, go."

  I swallowed the pill and gulped down the water; no sooner had I finished, she took the cup from my hand and grabbed the tray from the table. She left briefly and returned, standing over me once again.

  "We have physical fitness tomorrow, but today we're going to focus on some of the basics. There's a lot of talking involved that I don't want to do, so I have books here for you. Obviously you can't read, but I can make the tablet speak, so kind of the same thing. Why are you looking at me? You look like you want to say something."

  "I..." I started to speak but then thought better of it. She stared at me intensely and nodded her head slowly, her eyes widening. Finally I managed to force the words from my throat. "I can read."

  "You what?" She demanded. "How?"

  Before I could answer, she slammed a tablet down onto the table and pressed the surface with her finger, a page of text appeared before me. She pointed to a sentence and I felt as if she were about to slap me with her other hand.

  "Read that sentence." Her voice was mocking, but she also seemed curious as to whether or not I could do it. I turned my attention to the page in front of me and stared hard. I had never seen words arranged like this before; my eyes blurred for a moment and I could feel her patience wearing thin, like a glass of water poured onto the floor.

  "The distance of Ereen from the second star changes the way in which planetary ecology-"

  "Stop," she commanded. She stared at me intensely, and then took her finger away from the tablet. "I assume you also know how to use this?"

  I nodded slowly, and I could feel my face turning ten different shades of red.

  "Who taught you?"

  "I...I don't remember," That was true, I had used many tablets over a long period of time, it was impossible to know who taught me for the first time. I also couldn't remember learning to read; I felt as if I had simply picked it up here and there.

  "Fine, we'll talk about this later. I assume you know how to get to the book library as well. There's a reading list called 'LVL1.’ Open it up and start reading."

  I didn't waste any time; I'd never been given an opportunity to read like this before. I started with the book at the top of the list, a feminine etiquette guide that filled me in on the use of silverware, proper greetings, clothing customs, and virtually anything one could want to know about being a woman on Ereen. It wasn't very long, maybe two-hundred and fifty pages. I blazed through it and started the next: a book on government and civic matters. I don't know how much time I spent staring at the glowing screen. I lost myself, my mind drifting into the pages, the world around me fading away slowly but surely until for a time, I wasn't a slave on Ereen, I was just a consciousness floating through a sea of knowledge.

  I was brought back to reality in fast order by Kerra's hand slamming down onto the table. I was struck back to reality and found myself staring at her hand for a moment, and then found my eyes wandering upward, finally meeting hers.

  "What did you learn?" She demanded.

  "Can...can I ask a question?" I asked, trembling, unsure of whether or not I should cross the line.

  "Make it good," She said.

  "If...if slavery is outlawed by Federation law as of the year 2137 and the other colonies mostly follow Federation law, how do you support open trade with the other colonies?"

  She studied my face carefully and then slowly took the tablet from me. I saw her expression change from one of conte
mpt to one of amusement, and eventually a silent pondering.

  "You may not be an animal after all," She said finally. "But you learn too fast. Go to sleep, we'll pick up in the morning."

  Chapter 4

  "Rise and shine!" Kerra's voice tore me from my sleep, which had been a little more restful than normal. In the Factorum I had never dreamed; there was nothing to dream about. Here, I had dreamed about-- "Why are you sleeping on the floor?"

  "I...don't know," I said quietly. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to speak or not, so I kept my words to a minimum as I responded to Kerra’s voice interrupting my thoughts.

  "Did you fall out of bed?"

  "No," I kept my responses short; she seemed to like that.

  "Whatever, if you want to sleep like a dog, I certainly don’t care. Get up."

  I obediently crawled to my feet and stood before her with my legs pressed tightly together, my arms at my sides, and my eyes barely open. The room was quiet, but I could hear the subtle but ever present hum of machinery in the walls. Kerra looked me up and down, a look of disapproval putting me at unease.