by K. A. Trent
“Callie I-- thank you for-- I--”
“I know, sweetie,” she said, smiling. “You’re a person. You deserve to be treated like one, and you’ll get used to it. Oh, by the way, you need a name. I know you never had one, they just have nicknames down there. We have to have something to call you when you’re out and about, but you can change it later. I’ll pick something for now, but I need you to pick something more permanent later, you know? Okay, time to get going, I have a lot to do!”
I was ushered out the door, and as it closed behind me, I found myself standing before Kerra, her stern expression greeting me once again.
“I hope you had fun,” Kerra said to me coldly. “Because the rest of the day is going to be hell for you.”
“I…I understand,” I spoke to fill the silence, only to be greeted by an even colder expression as she thrust her hand out and took a handful of my hair. I cried out and tried to pull away, only to be met by a hard slap that stunned my entire body. I might have crumpled to the floor if she hadn’t been gripping me by the hair.
“You’re with her for an hour and suddenly you think you can talk whenever you want?” She demanded. “I did not ask you a question, so there was NO reason for you to open your trap. If you want to survive, you play by my rules. You keep your mouth shut; you do what you’re told. We’re going back downstairs. Walk in front of me and keep your hands where I can see them-- and don’t talk. Not a word.”
As we walked back, the world became just a little bit darker than it had been a moment ago, as I was pushed back into the pit of despair from which Callie had pulled me.
Chapter 6
The room was silent. I stood beside the bed, my eyes angled downward as Kerra went through what I’d come to realize was a series of drawers set into the wall-- when unopened, the drawers were seamless, invisible against the wall. I avoided looking at her as much as possible; I didn’t want to invite more of her angry outbursts. Finally she closed the drawer and made her way over to me, a pair of odd-looking shoes in her left hand.
“Callie wants to put you on display, it seems,” she said as she looked me over. I didn’t like the way she said Callie’s name. “We have a lot to do, but first, and most importantly, you need to be able to walk. Have you ever worn heels?”
I shook my head.
“I just asked you a direct question, “ she growled at me, glaring directly into my eyes. “You are permitted to answer in two ways. Yes Ma’am, or No Ma’am. It’s pretty simple; don’t play dumb.”
“N-no Ma’am,” I stammered.
“It’s just like any other shoe if you’re competent, but you need practice if you’re going to walk around in public. Now put them on.” She dropped the shoes, and they clattered to the floor, but remained upright. I glanced down at them briefly: a pair of simple black shoes with a taller heel than I was used to. The heels weren’t very high-- maybe two inches-- but I wondered if I would be able to keep my balance. I began to lower myself to the floor but was abruptly stopped by Kerra’s long, slender finger under my chin, pulling me upright. “Step into them, one foot at a time.”
With her nail digging into my skin, I stepped forward and carefully slid my right foot into the first heel. To my surprise it didn’t feel that bad, but once I slid my left foot in I began to feel the pressure building up in the balls of my feet and radiating into my toes; it was far from pleasant. I winced and immediately reached to the bed for support. The moment, I did, she withdrew her finger and reached her hands toward my neck. I felt something tighten around my neck; something I was all too familiar with down in the Factorum-- a collar, with a leash attached, but this one was far lighter than I was used to.
“Out into the hallway,” she commanded. “We’re going to practice walking, until you get it right. Formal events require sophistication, and sophistication means heels. Turn toward the door and walk.”
I felt her grip on the leash tighten lightly; it felt aggressive, but nothing like what I’d experienced down in the Factorum. She was guiding me more than dragging me, but I felt that slight distinction could change quickly if I angered her.
I moved forward, finding it easy to keep my balance, but I couldn’t ignore the pain that was emanating from the balls of my feet, pulsating outward to my toes and arches. My bare feet against the hard interior of the shoes felt like my skin was rubbing against sandpaper, and I quickly noticed the edges of the shoes’ backs digging into my heels. I slowed down for maybe a fraction of a second but felt the leash tugging; she didn’t even stop to look back. I resumed my pace, a single tear rolling down my cheek as we passed through the door.
“Walk with one foot in front of the other,” she instructed as she pulled me along. “Like you’re on a balance beam.”
I wanted to ask what a balance beam was.
I’m going to tell you something important.” Her voice was becoming a distant echo through the pain that my feet had been replaced with. “You asked me how we maintain trade with the other colonies and the Federation itself while keeping slaves. It wasn’t a stupid question, so here’s the answer. They don’t know. Three centuries ago men ruled this planet, they subjugated women, they enslaved us, they used their god as an excuse. When the plague came, it only affected men. We took them down, simple as that. We let enough of them off the planet to make it look like we’d followed the law. The rest? Our playthings, forever. Out of sight, out of mind, tortured endlessly in the Factorum. You can think it’s bad all you want, but I’ve seen the video files, read the stories. Women beaten for speaking their minds, raped and bred like cattle. This colony was a living hell, and we saved ourselves. We lie to the people, truth me told. We tell them the Factorum is that little wonderland Callie showed you on the screen. We tell that to our own people, we tell that to the Federation. Any whispers of the ‘Factorum’ are mitigated by the image we created. And now there’s you. Callie wants you to be freed so you can live among us. If you’re really transgender, great, the law is the law. If you’re not, I’m going to gut you myself.”
My legs were beginning to stagger, but the moment I stumbled, I felt the crack of the switch across the back of my legs. I cried out and straightened my legs, resuming the walk as best I could.
“You know what the best part is?” She laughed. “You think you can do it. You really think you have what it takes to be one of us. I’m going to laugh so hard when you can’t do it. You’re just a pathetic male, and you always will be. Yes, you can read and write, you can run fast, but at the end of the day you’re a mindless ape, and apes belong in cages.”
We reached the end of the hall. She tugged on the leash and signaled for me to turn around. We immediately resumed the walk and did it again, and again until she was satisfied with my progress. Finally, she led me back to the room and ordered me to stand in the center while she unclipped the leash.
“Not bad,” she said. “We’ll do that a few more times today, I think you’ll get the hang of it. It’s simple enough, really, even for you. Okay, so next on the agenda is some reading but before we do that, I need to remind you that in a few days you’re going to a very important event. People are going to ask you questions-- lots of questions. If you don’t know what they’re talking about, ask for clarification, but do it politely. We need to work on your presentation as well, so let’s try this. When you walk into a room, you should be smiling, and not a fake smile. You need to look like you’re actually happy to be there. Whenever I see you, you look like someone murdered your cat. No one murdered your cat, so be happy. Now step out of those shoes and start reading. You won’t like what’s coming next, but I will.”
She sat me down and handed me the tablet, but all I wanted to do was nurse my aching feet. I caught a glimpse of them under the table; they were just a little red, not bleeding like I expected, but they still felt as if I’d been pounded with an impact hammer. I opened the tablet and stared at the selection of books today; they were all on Ereen etiquette, particularly for Luna, the part of the world th
at we were apparently living in. I had learned the other day that Ereen was split into six territories, each one named for the colony ship that had landed there back in the early days of colonization. Today’s books were all about how to enter rooms, how to speak to people, how to greet them, how to eat, how to dress, when to wear what color dress, and I found the extent of the whole thing insane. The more I read, the more I missed the simplicity of the Factorum, and suddenly, I wished I were back there. I don’t know how much time passed, but suddenly, Kerra entered the room holding a bag in her hand. I blinked; I hadn’t even heard her leave.
“You ready?” She asked. “I told you you’re not going to like what’s coming next. Stand up and strip.” She moved behind me and helped me out of my shirt, cold hands against bare skin. I shuddered.
“It’s called a corset,” She explained to me as she snapped the garment in place. I was certain my ribs were about to crack. “See, here’s the problem. You’re a mess. No one wants to put you on female hormones at the moment, but you still need the shape if you’re going to make any kind of impression, so-- ta-da!-- it’s the corset. Now there we are, don’t you look adorable?”
She stepped back, I tried to take a breath, but only succeeded in wheezing as she grinned at me from a few feet across the room. I immediately grasped the garment and tried to pull it free, but it was wrapped tightly around my midsection. Kerra burst into laughter as I flew into a panic, trying to at least slide a few fingers under the fabric to loosen it.
“Okay, okay,” she said, trying to get her laughter under control. “We need to do the walking thing again, and you need to keep that corset on today. When you breathe, I want you to breathe through your diaphragm- er…I mean your upper chest. I don’t want you to walk into the event and then just collapse onto the floor. It won’t look good for either of us, now-- what?“
I stared at her. She had asked me a question but I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to answer.
“You look like you have a question?”
“I…I just…can we use the leash more?” I honestly felt more comfortable with it on. She frowned.
“Put the heels back on and come with me,” She commanded and moved toward the door. I did as she commanded, sliding my aching feet back into those horrific shoes and lumbered toward the door. “Okay, look at the floor out here in the hallway, you see that line running down the center? I want you to stand on that line and walk from one end to the other. Keep your feet on that line.”
I obediently walked to the center of the hallways, placing both feet on the line and began the walk. Three steps in I began to ache, and by the time I was a third of the way there I began to wobble. Finally, I stumbled and noticed that I was at least two feet from the line. I tried to return to it, but only succeeded in stumbling again and nearly toppled over into the wall. Kerra grabbed me and forced me upright just in time.
“The leash was to keep you on the line,” She explained. “So when you go to the event, you don’t walk through the door and plow into the nearest crowd. Down in the Factorum I know they use leashes often, but up here I just needed to use it to guide you. It is not your security blanket and I don’t need it to keep you from wandering. Don’t ever ask me that again.”
“Yes Ma’am.”
“Great, wonderful. Now get back in the room and finish your reading, I have one more thing I want to do today.”
I read for a few hours more before she stopped me, and to my surprise, she walked behind me to unclip the corset. As I was released from the fabric, I lurched forward and coughed heavily and wheezed, taking in my first unrestricted breath. She waited patiently for me to recover and then handed me the athletic outfit I’d worn the previous day. I knew better than to ask questions at this point, so I hastily slid into the outfit and followed her down the hall. This time we took a different elevator, and this time we went further down than before. As the car descended I stole a few glances at her, hoping she wouldn’t notice.
“You have to be more discreet about that,” She told me without even turning her head. “And you’re going to have to tell me why you keep looking at me like that.”
I still couldn’t answer her; I didn’t even have words to put to it. She shook her head and stared at me as if I had five heads. I lowered my eyes in shame. The elevator emitted the soft ‘stop’ tone and the doors slid open. We walked out, but instead of emerging into another hallway, we walked into a massive open room; it was far larger than anything in the Factorum, probably the size of the stadiums that I had read about in the books Kerra gave me on Luna’s infrastructure.
“Stay there,” Kerra commanded. “Actually, press your back to the wall.”
I moved back and watched as she played with a few controls on her tablet. Suddenly, the room around us changed. From thin air, primitive shapes began to form and rise from the floor in front of us, coming together to form a complex structure. It was a confusing build, jutting towers in some places, pipes and ducts winding through long corridors, all of which seemed to connect like some sort of maze. I stood in awe of the building which was at least three stories tall by the end of it. I looked toward Kerra in disbelief.
“So basically this is a force field projection that-“ She started, but I suddenly interrupted her.
“How are you able to get the larger sections to form without particle dispersal?” I asked excitedly. “I count four emitters in the east wall but you would need at least seven to account for particle loss, and the range of the colectile inverter can’t cover the area of the western wall without account for drag in the-“
“What the absolute fuck?” Kerra cut me off, staring at me as if I’d just punched her. “What do you do in the Factorum? Never mind. This is an obstacle course. Do you see where the yellow pole is? I need you to start there, climb up that wall, and then crawl through the duct. It’s pretty straightforward from there.”
I walked nervously to the pole she indicated and stared up the side of the wall, which was nearly smooth. Feeling it with the palm of my hand, I finally turned to Kerra, who stood behind me with my arms crossed.
“It’s really tall,” I said, shaking my head.
“Yep,” she said. “It’s two stories.”
“I can’t do it, there’s nothing to grab onto.”
“You’re lying,” she said to me, suddenly reaching for the switch on her belt. “Get moving or get hit, your choice.”
I closed my eyes and exhaled briefly. There was no point in lying to her, she knew. I pressed the front of my shoe against the wall, making sure to form a decent grip, and then propelled myself upward, using all of my strength to hurl myself up the wall. I got a decent push the first time, maybe moving ten feet upward. The next push was diagonal, thrusting myself toward a jutting primitive sticking out of the edge. I used it to give myself another boost upward, and then pushed myself in the opposite direction, finally hurling myself over the precipice and landing atop the structure. Just as she’d said, there was a duct directly in front of me. I scrambled through it, crawling about ten feet before emerging into a larger room, this one lacking a floor and providing me only a small round beam to traverse in order to reach the other side. It was easy. I broke into a full run and threw myself off the edge of a platform at the end, ducking and rolling to avoid hurting myself. For the next few minutes I encountered obstacle after obstacle, none of which were a challenge to me, from leaping across platforms, to sliding under low walls, and, of course, vaulting up taller walls to reach distant objectives. Before I knew it, it was over and I emerged onto the other side of the course where Kerra was waiting, arms still folded, a look of amusement and confusion on her face. I stood and lowered my eyes, waiting for her to say something. Did I do well? Was she going to punish me?
“Forty seconds,” she said finally. “It took you forty seconds to finish that course. Only three percent of our military is able to do that. Fifteen percent can do it in ten minutes. The rest can’t do it at all. I want to know why you’re able to do this, an
d you’re going to give me answers.”
Chapter 7
“Okay, explain this to me again,” she said to me. We were back in the room, I was sitting on the floor, my legs off to the side while she took the chair above me. I’d never wanted to tell her, as I thought she would be angry; instead she seemed perplexed. “You’re a runner-- what does that mean?”
“It’s… a job in the Factorum, Ma’am,” I said as I cast my eyes down to her feet. “We-“
“No, that’s not a job in the Factorum,” she said, her voice elevated slightly. Was she angry? “I am very familiar with how it works. I know the specific jobs, I know the ranking system-- there’s no such thing as a runner.”
“Yes Ma’am,” I agreed and fell silent.
“No!” She glared down at me. “Don’t agree with me just because I make a statement like that. Tell me what a runner is!”
I was confused. Did she want me to talk or didn’t she? My voice began to shake as I tried to speak. I couldn’t figure out what I was supposed to do, but as I raised my eyes just slightly, the look on her face gave it away. I began to unload my tale.
“The-- the elevators are broken in section 18, from floors sixty-one to one-forty-nine. They all share the same cable system, so one going down affects all the others. They tried to fix it but the heat from the generator three floors down causes the cables to melt because the insulation between section F and Subsection T is worn out-“
“No, that’s impossible,” Kerra shook her head. “That would mean you couldn’t transport parts and tools for Section C. It would cripple a portion of our economy.”
“Yes Ma’am,” I agreed and fell silent again.
“Stop it. Talk,” she commanded.
“It’s broken Ma’am, so we run the parts ourselves.”
