TORE (Sidewinders: Generations Book 2)

by Kat Mizera

  “Okay.”

  “What did you say to her when she did it?” I asked after a moment.

  “Nothing while we were standing there because you skated over and she was all smiles. She said it again when we were in our seats and J.J. pointed out that you aren’t her daddy and she said you are now because we live together. Emilie was there and she saw how uncomfortable I was with the topic, so she distracted them with snacks and then Gracie got caught up in the game.”

  “Let’s see how she behaves tomorrow and we’ll go from there.”

  “But what will you say if she asks you to be her dad or something to that effect?”

  “I don’t know exactly. Do you think we need to address it directly?”

  “Yes.”

  Our eyes met.

  “Well, then, I’ll tell her that her mommy and I are falling in love but sometimes it takes grown-ups a little while to figure out if they want to get married and become a family.” I paused. “Is that too much?”

  “It’s a little too much information, but that might be good because she doesn’t have much of an attention span and she’ll tune out most of it.”

  I chuckled. I wasn’t sure if I should be offended or not, but it was okay.

  “What if I take her to school in the morning and we chat? I don’t have to be at practice until eleven, so I have time. But I won’t bring it up unless she does.”

  “Okay.” Margot rolled onto her side to face me, reaching out to run her fingers through my hair. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For being so loving and patient with her. My biggest fear in meeting someone I might be interested in has been that he either wouldn’t want her, since she’s technically not his, or wouldn’t be nice to her. And that’s not you at all.”

  “I love Gracie,” I said quietly. “I’ll be honest in saying that becoming a dad wasn’t on my radar at this stage of my life, but she’s already here. She’s this sweet, loving little girl who needs a dad so badly you can almost see it like a tangible appendage on her. And I’m ready to be that guy. If you want me to be.”

  “I do.” Her eyes puddled with tears and she swiped at them. “I really, really do.”

  “We’ve got this, Margot.” I reached for one of her hands. “You and me, we’re in this for the long haul, I think. I have to work out some issues with my finances and stop spending money like an idiot, and I’d like to take a year to turn that around so we can think about the future… Buying a house, maybe a wedding, all that stuff. I’m not interested in having any more kids right now, but I think what we have going is strong.”

  “You want kids someday, right?” she asked slowly.

  “Oh, for sure. Maybe a couple.” I grinned at her. “Just not now. Honestly, we haven’t talked about it a lot, but we need to revisit that budget thing you mentioned. I really suck with money.”

  “Of course. And I can pay for my share of—”

  I put a finger on her lips. “Stop. I make a shit-ton of money, and while historically I spend it on stupid stuff, it’s not like I’m in danger of being homeless. I don’t want or expect you to pay for anything. In fact, we’ll get you a debit card so you have access to my account.”

  “I don’t need that,” she protested. “I don’t want your money, Tore.”

  “I know that.” I leaned over to kiss her. “But I start getting paid again in a week or so, around the fifteenth, so it’s the perfect time for you to start teaching me how to be better about managing it, and we’ll work on it together. That’s why I want you to have access to my accounts, so you can see what I’m doing and we can hold each other accountable. Though you probably don’t need it like I do.”

  “I don’t have much left after I pay bills, so no, it’s not really a problem for me.”

  “Well, I think in the interest of fairness, we should both be on a budget, for household expenses, whatever Gracie needs, everything. And if either of us needs something beyond groceries, toiletries, and Gracie’s stuff, we have to discuss it.” I hesitated, watching her face. “Does that sound fair?”

  “That sounds perfect. Kind of like you.”

  “I’m far from perfect, babe, but I’m going to try really hard to be perfect for you.”

  “You already are.”

  21

  Margot

  With Gracie back in school five days a week, even though it was only half a day, I got a lot more done at work. I was usually able to finish my regular editing job for my old newspaper in Seattle during those four hours, which left me time for more freelance work. I worked anywhere from twenty to twenty-five hours a week for what I called my day job, and the freelance work varied a lot. I’d had a job last year around the holidays working on descriptions for and editing a special holiday catalogue for a local jewelry store, and while it had paid well, it was seasonal. I hoped I’d get the job again, but I hadn’t heard from them yet.

  Two years ago, Everly and I had been signed by a publisher of coffee table books for a book about the castles of Scotland, and I’d done most of the writing and editing while Everly had been the one to go to Scotland to take all the pictures. That was how she’d met Ian, so it had been a great thing for both of us, but beyond the five-thousand-dollar advance, we hadn’t seen any more money from it. I hadn’t expected to make much, but I’d hoped there would be something, even an extra hundred dollars a month.

  I lived paycheck to paycheck now, even though I’d lived with Ian and Everly rent-free. I still had my own expenses, though. One thing Everly had insisted on was a good, reliable car, and she’d been right, so I had a fairly hefty car payment, car insurance, gas, my cell phone, and Gracie’s health insurance premium. And of course, all the little things that came up in life, from needing tampons to shampoo to the occasional new outfit. Gracie outgrew clothes pretty regularly, though Everly seemed to buy her new things all the time.

  At some point, I would need a real job, one that paid all the bills and then some. I thought about opening my own company as a full-time editor, but it took time to build a clientele and I didn’t have it. Gracie would be in school full-time a year from now, but nothing in my life would really change financially. I wouldn’t pay any bills at Tore’s either, but that was a lateral move, which meant the only way I’d have more money would be to either ask him for it or get a better job. And there was no way in hell I was asking him for a dime unless Gracie was sick or desperately needed something I couldn’t afford.

  This had been a recurring theme in my life the last few years. I’d had a good, full-time job in Seattle, but of course, we had rent and utilities and all kinds of bills. Now I had fewer bills but was earning less than half the money. And I hadn’t had health insurance in over a year. One simple injury could bankrupt me, and though I knew Everly would never let that happen, I hated relying on others.

  I’d moved to Las Vegas with Everly mostly because of Gracie’s accident. Ian had hooked me up with Mack and all of the surgeries and care had been free. There were a few minimal charges in the beginning, but Mack had gotten anesthesiologists and other specialists to donate their time, so Ian had paid for everything else. Everly had suggested we move here because we could live with her and Ian and I wouldn’t have to fly back and forth when Gracie needed surgery.

  In retrospect, it had been one of the best decisions I’d ever made, but I still felt guilty. Guilty about mooching off of Everly and Ian, no matter how many times they told me it was their pleasure, that I was family. Guilty about the car accident that had scarred Gracie’s face, even though I hadn’t been at fault. Guilty about bringing into the world a child I truly couldn’t afford in the first place. So much guilt, all the time, and even now that I had a fantastic guy like Tore, I felt the familiar guilt creeping back in. I’d found a rich professional athlete that could definitely take care of us, but there was a part of me that wanted to make it on my own. There was no way I could move out into my own place and take care of Gracie right now, despite my impressive résumé
and college degree.

  “Why do you do this to yourself?” Everly asked me. We were meeting some of the other WAGs for an early lunch during Tore’s first road trip of the season, and I’d poured my heart out to her on the drive over. “Who cares if you can make it on your own? We’re family and that’s what families do.”

  “But we’re not,” I whispered, chewing the inside of my mouth. “I mean, you’re like a sister to me, but we’re not truly family.”

  “Seriously?” Everly shook her head. “Knock it off, will you? Why are you doing this now? Because Tore is giving you access to his checking account and you feel weird about spending his money?”

  Ah, my bestie knew me so well.

  “Maybe?” I dipped my head, a little embarrassed.

  “Listen to me.” Everly reached across the seat for my hand. “He loves you. Maybe you guys haven’t said the words yet, but look at his actions. I mean, let’s compare Tore to Greg. Greg told you he loved you right up until the day he left you. Tore hasn’t used the words and yet he wants to be a dad to your kid. He was upset that you moved out when hockey season started, even though that was what you’d agreed on. He told Jen off when she made a play for him at the party—and he did it publicly. Even behind closed doors, he defended you to her. This is the real deal and you need to stop the self-flagellation because your college boyfriend knocked you up and then dumped you. It’s his loss, Margot. Think of all the wonderful things about Gracie that he’s missed—and the things he’s going to miss. Like walking her down the aisle. That’s all you, honey, and now Tore.”

  I nodded. “I know, dammit. It’s just so hard to stop the pattern of negativity. My own parents called me a loser for having her…”

  “Fuck them too.” She pulled into a parking spot at the restaurant. “Now dry your eyes, lift your chin, and let’s go hang with the girls.”

  “Okay.” I got out of the car and we walked inside. We were supposed to be meeting Lexi, Tina, Chelsea, and Renee, who was Coach Wylde’s wife. Though she was older than the rest of us, she was close to Chelsea and I’d heard she hung out with all the different wives at different times. I figured that as the head coach’s wife, she had to make time for everyone, but it would be nice to get to know her a little.

  “So tell us everything,” Chelsea said to me once we were all settled. “Every time one of the guys drops off the market and a new WAG joins the group, we need details.”

  “Well…” I glanced at Everly, who was smirking. “He asked us to move in.”

  “Us?” Tina asked, frowning.

  “My daughter, Gracie, is four. And really, she’s the reason I kept turning him down when he asked me out. We’ve been dancing around each other for months.”

  “Is her father not in the picture?” Renee asked.

  I shook my head. “He told me to get rid of the baby when I told him I was pregnant, and I never saw him again.”

  “Asshole,” Lexi muttered.

  “It’s okay,” Everly said. “Tore is a much better guy than he was.”

  “And you’re a journalist too?” Renee asked.

  “I’m mostly an editor right now. I started out as a journalist, but life and a toddler make it tough to go get those stories, and when we had the car accident last year, it was easier for me to switch over to editing. I’ve only been getting part-time hours, though, and I’m looking for something full-time. I don’t want to be the woman who finds a guy and then sits home having babies or whatever.”

  Chelsea and Renee glanced at each other and I noted Chelsea gave Renee a small nod.

  Renee looked at me with a smile. “Well, I might have a full-time opportunity for you if you’re interested.”

  “Really? I’m sorry, what do you do?”

  “Do you read romance novels?” Renee asked.

  “Of course. What self-respecting woman doesn’t read romance?”

  Lexi sheepishly raised her hand. “I didn’t until I met Renee. I have now, though, and I’m hooked.”

  I paused to make a face at her before turning back to Renee.

  “I write under the name Rena J. Black.”

  My mouth fell open. “For real? Petra and Her Phantom is one of my all-time favorite books! Oh my god, I’m going to fan-girl here in a second!”

  Everyone laughed as I continued to gape at her.

  “Well, my trusty assistant has decided she wants to stay home and make babies, so—”

  “I decided no such thing!” Chelsea interrupted, laughing. “But I do want to spend more time with Nate when he’s not on the road, and between working for you all day and writing at night, I’m just too busy. One or the other has to give, and honestly, I love being a journalist.”

  “And I totally get it.” Renee smiled at her. “I was just kidding. However, I am in desperate need of an assistant. The hours are flexible, you can bring Gracie on days there are school holidays and whatnot, there’s plenty of stuff you can do from home, so you don’t always have to leave the house, and I do offer benefits. Two weeks paid vacation, opportunities to travel with me all-expenses paid, and free books. I don’t have a health insurance plan because I’m on Jared’s now, but if that’s something you need, we can discuss some sort of extra compensation.”

  My mouth fell open. “Really?”

  “It’s not in your field, but it’s steady work with flexible hours and a very reasonable wage.”

  “Like, a secretary?” I asked after a moment.

  “Well, yes and no. There are elements of it that are, like keeping up my calendar and booking appearances and such for me, but there’s more to it. If you’re interested, let’s set up a time to meet and discuss details.”

  “I’d love that,” I said. “Thank you.”

  “Of course. We’ll exchange information before we leave today and we can get together soon.”

  The waitress arrived and we ordered our food, the topic turning to other things.

  “So we need to start planning the WAG trip,” Renee said.

  “There’s a WAG trip?” I asked.

  “Well, we’ve been talking about it but haven’t done it, so I figured somebody needed to take charge.”

  “I was thinking we’d do the Limaj trip,” Lexi said. “Since the team is playing in Limaj on New Year’s Day, as part of the plan to spread the word about hockey around the world, that sounds like a great trip.”

  “But we’re not the only ones going,” Tina pointed out, “and most of our other friends have kids. That’s a family trip. We need just a girls’ trip.”

  “’There’s a game in Limaj?” I asked in confusion.

  “Every year, the league does a game in a foreign country where hockey isn’t very popular. This year’s game is on New Year’s Day and will be outdoors in Limaj. The Sidewinders against the Blizzard.”

  I wasn’t even sure where Limaj was, though I was fairly certain it was in eastern Europe.

  “That sounds amazing,” I said. “It’s a long trip, and thinking about chasing Gracie on another flight like that is daunting, but we’ll go if Tore wants us to.”

  “Oh, he totally will!” Lexi said.

  “Well, I don’t know if I’ll be able to go,” Tina said quietly.

  “How come?” Renee asked, frowning.

  She smiled. “It’s a secret, so you can’t say anything because Royce doesn’t know…but I’m pregnant.”

  “Yay!” Renee gave a little squeal. “Oh my god, I’m so excited for you!”

  “How far along?” Lexi asked.

  “Six weeks. I really haven’t had any symptoms or anything, but I missed a period and then I got suspicious…”

  “And now there’s going to be a baby!” Renee was grinning from ear to ear.

  “When are you going to tell him?” Chelsea asked.

  “When they get back from this trip. I only got the positive result this morning.”

  “What about you, Everly?” Lexi asked. “You next?”

  Everly grinned. “We agreed to wait a year
before we start trying. We really want to enjoy a year of just us.”

  “Zaan and I are on the five-year plan,” Lexi laughed. “Neither of us is ready and, honestly, with my new band on the verge of breaking out, I don’t want to mess that up. I’m still only twenty-two, and he’s twenty-three, so we have time.”

  “We’re stopping birth control at the end of the year,” Chelsea said. “So it could be as soon as January, or it might take forever, but we’re not in a hurry. If it happens, great. If not, that’s okay too.”

  Everyone turned to look at me and my eyes widened. “Oh, god, no. Gracie is a handful, and Tore and I are way too new for something like that. We’re on the no-desire-to-get-knocked-up-anytime-soon plan.”

  “Let’s get a ring on that finger first,” Everly said.

  Now that was a plan I could get on board for.

  22

  Tore

  Hockey was great but coming home to a gorgeous naked woman in my bed was better. I got home late and thought she’d be asleep but she was in bed reading, without a stitch of clothing on, which she didn’t usually do because Gracie tended to wander into our bedroom unannounced.

  “Well, hi,” I said in a husky voice. God, she was beautiful and I really loved the fact that she wanted me as much as I wanted her.

  “Lock the door,” she whispered, spreading her legs invitingly.

  “Fuck.” I practically ripped off my suit, dropping it on the floor as I attacked her.

  It was quick after four days apart, but then she was nestled in my arms, her silky hair draped over both of us.

  “Can that be how you always welcome me home?” I asked, stroking her bare back.

  “Not if it’s daytime, but if Gracie’s asleep? Absolutely.”

  “Good thing I love that kid,” I murmured, “because she’s cramping my style.”

  “Well, even without Gracie, I might be at work during the day, you know.”

  “Don’t you work from home?”