TORE (Sidewinders: Generations Book 2)

by Kat Mizera

  I grinned. “Well, Tore’s a year younger than me and I feel that way too! Speaking of sex, can you recommend an OB-GYN? I want to get an IUD so Tore and I can stop using condoms.”

  “Oh, I love mine. She was fantastic last year when Daisy had an ovarian cyst, and from what I understand, all the wives on the team have used her to deliver their babies. She’s lovely. I’ll give you her info before you leave.”

  “Sounds great. Thank you.”

  The idea of going without a condom was a little scary but also made me happy because while nothing was written in stone, it gave me hope that Tore and I were on track for forever. Something I hadn’t thought I’d ever find and definitely not with a Swedish hockey god. This felt too good to be true but I refused to give in to any negativity. Not again.

  26

  Tore

  The last road trip before Thanksgiving went through Chicago and though I hated it, there was no way for me to say no when my mom asked me for tickets to the game. Not that I didn’t want to see her, but my stepdad always made me want to poke myself in the eye with a sharp stick, so I was distracted before the game. I’d seen them by the glass during the warm-up, but I’d pretended to be busy so I wouldn’t have to go over there and now I felt a little guilty. They would come back to the family lounge after the game, but we wouldn’t have a lot of time or privacy here since this wasn’t our home arena. Normally, I could invite her back to the hotel for a drink or something, but we were flying home as soon as we were done since tomorrow was Thanksgiving.

  “I saw your mom,” Zaan told me as we waited to take the ice for the opening face-off.

  “Yeah.”

  He cut a glance at me. “You’re not gonna see her?”

  “For a few minutes after the game, but you know how I feel about my stepdad and I really have no interest in seeing him.”

  “Have you even told her you have a live-in girlfriend with a kid?”

  “Nope.”

  He grimaced. “Dude, your mom’s gonna be hurt.”

  “I’ll tell her tonight. I’ve just been busy and it’s not like she calls me, you know? She chose him over me, even though he drinks all the time and is verbally abusive. Last time we spent any significant amount of time together, I almost beat the shit out of him for the way he spoke to her. And she defended him, so I’m not putting myself in a situation like that.”

  “I understand that.” Zaan grabbed his gloves and slipped them on. “You ready to do this?”

  “Fuck yeah.” I followed him out as we headed down the tunnel toward the ice.

  I always got a slightly euphoric feeling when I first skated out for a game. It was one of my happy places. Not every moment on the ice, but that first one, where the game loomed out ahead of me. I wasn’t sure why but it had always been that way. Back when I was a little kid, my mom had always been right at the glass, watching and cheering me on. And somehow, even now, I looked for her. She would be in her seat at this point, so I wouldn’t be able to see her, but I still looked.

  Once the game started, I forgot about my mom and everything else, which allowed me to focus. Luckily, we beat Chicago 6-2, so I wouldn’t have to listen to my stepfather, who was a native, gloat. But I was still on edge as I got dressed, and impulsively reached out to text Margot. She knew the whole situation with my stepdad, so she’d understand why I was out of sorts.

  TORE: Hey. I’m about to see my mom and stepdad.

  MARGOT: Hey, babe. It’ll be okay. Just say hello to him and then focus on your mom. If you want, I can have Gracie FaceTime you and then they’ll be so focused on her, they’ll forget about you.

  I chuckled just thinking about it.

  TORE: That might work, but we’ll only have about ten minutes and then we’re heading to the airport.

  MARGOT: I’ll be waiting for you in bed. Naked.

  TORE: You just got me hard. Going ten days without sex sucks.

  MARGOT: Tell me about it.

  TORE: I’ll call you on the way to the airport, okay?

  MARGOT: See you in a few hours!

  I put my phone away and made sure my stuff was ready to be loaded onto the bus before heading out to find my mom. We had an actual family lounge in Vegas, but here in Chicago it was just a small meeting room they let us use since most of us didn’t have guests here.

  My mom wore one of my jerseys and jeans, and from the back she looked so young, I would have missed her if not for my name on the jersey.

  “Mom.” I approached her with a smile and she whirled around, throwing her arms around me.

  “Oh, it’s so good to see you!” she whispered.

  “I missed you,” I whispered back.

  “I know.” She met my gaze with a look I hadn’t seen before and I wasn’t sure how to interpret it.

  “Hello, John.” I held out my hand to my stepdad even though I much rather would have hit him with it instead of shaking.

  “Thor.” He insisted on calling me by the name I never used anymore, and it irked the fuck out of me. “Good game tonight.”

  “Thanks.” I turned to my mom. “So how are you?”

  “Busy, as always.” She paused. “I had drinks with Jen a few weeks ago.”

  I stared at her. “What? Why?”

  She cocked her head. “Well, we got close while you were together and we’ve stayed in touch. She still loves you, Tore.”

  I closed my eyes and counted to five. “Mom, not only have I moved on, I’m living with someone now.”

  “Gettin’ that milk for free, huh?” John gave me a broad grin and I had to force myself not to acknowledge his comment at all. How was my mother married to such a fucking douche?

  “John, hush.” Mom gave him a look before turning back to me. “Jen made it sound like it was casual because she has a child.”

  I scowled. “Because she has a kid, it’s actually pretty serious. They’ve moved in with me and things are going well. I wish you wouldn’t talk to Jen, especially not about me.” I told her what she’d done at the team party.

  “I’m sorry, son. I had no idea she was drinking so much or making a nuisance of herself.”

  “It’s all right.” I paused. “I really want you to meet Margot and Gracie.”

  “I’m probably going to be in Vegas in February,” she said. “Maybe I can come a few days early and—”

  “You’re not going to Vegas early without me,” John interrupted, scowling.

  Mom ignored him, but I saw the tightness around her mouth and couldn’t resist giving him a dirty look.

  “We play here again in the spring,” I told Mom. “Maybe I’ll fly Margot and Gracie out when we’re here so they can meet you.”

  “I’d love that.”

  “Tore.” One of the trainers motioned to me. “Two minutes.”

  I nodded at him. “Thanks.”

  “I can’t believe you’re leaving already.” Mom hugged me again and this time she pressed her lips to my ear. “I’m leaving him.”

  I hugged her tighter. “Thank god,” I whispered back.

  She stepped back and smiled. “We’ll talk soon, okay?”

  “Call me when you have a little time.” I met her eyes meaningfully.

  “I love you, sweetie.”

  “Love you too.” I didn’t even acknowledge John as I turned and headed out toward the bus. I was so damn glad she was leaving him and couldn’t wait to get the details. Maybe she’d even leave Chicago and move closer to Las Vegas since her sales position afforded her the option of working remotely when she wasn’t on the road. Everything in my life was looking up and I had a spring in my step as I headed out.

  We spent Thanksgiving at Ian and Everly’s with Ian, Everly, Everly’s mom, her stepfather and little brother. It was a fun but casual day spent eating way too much, watching football on TV, and then hanging out and talking. We’d put Gracie to bed in her old room and were leaving her there while Margot and Everly went shopping. Apparently, some stores opened late on Thanksgiving and it was a trad
ition for them to go bargain-hunting, so they took off with Everly’s mom and left us guys behind.

  It was kind of nice to sit in front of the fire watching a movie and drinking a beer with Ian and his father-in-law. Something I’d never really gotten to do as an adult with my own father.

  “You put any thought into what you’re getting Margot for Christmas?” Ian asked.

  “For Margot, no, but I do know what I’m getting Gracie.” I grinned but then paused. “Well, what I want to get Gracie, if Margot lets me. She’s kind of put a damper on my spending.”

  “How come?”

  “I’ve got quite a bit of credit card debt,” I admitted, “and we agreed to pay that down before we made any major purchases. But it’s Christmas and I found the most amazing dollhouse. It’s some Victorian era thing and the furniture is dope—for a girl, I mean.” I took out my phone and pulled up the link to the dollhouse.

  “Holy shit.” Ian’s eyes rounded. “It’s two thousand dollars.”

  “I know.” I grimaced. “That’s why I have to talk Margot into letting me get it for her.”

  “If you spend two grand on the kid, what are you getting her?” Everly’s stepfather, Lester, asked.

  “I don’t know. I keep thinking about a ring but it feels soon.”

  “Soon for whom?” Ian countered. “For you, for her, or for optics?”

  “I guess a little of all of them? It’s soon. We’ve been friends about fifteen months but only officially a couple for three. It’s just not time for a ring. And then there’s the whole money thing. I really have been a douche about money and we agreed I’d quit buying expensive shit until all the debt is gone.”

  “So a house is out of the question then,” Lester said.

  I nodded. “Yeah, I don’t even have a down payment right now unless I go into my retirement account and I don’t want to do that.”

  “Jesus, bro, what are you doing with your money?” Ian demanded. “You know my family owns a financial firm, yeah?”

  “Yeah, but they’re in Scotland.”

  “We handle money for people worldwide. Once you’ve handled your debt, let me know and we’ll get you into some low-risk investments that’ll help you not just save for a house but for the future. I mean, you’re a dad now, and you’ve got to think about things like college, maybe private school—”

  “Weddings,” Lester piped in, chuckling.

  I shook my head at them. “Geez, you guys, you trying to scare me or what?”

  “It’s part of the game, my friend, but totally worth it if you love her.”

  There was an awkward silence as they looked at me.

  “You do love her, don’t you?” Lester asked.

  I opened my mouth and then closed it again, but slowly nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. I love both of them and that’s the scariest thing I’ve ever said.”

  “You haven’t told her, have you?” Ian said knowingly.

  “Uh, no. I haven’t said the three words.”

  “How come?”

  “Scared, I think. Last time I said that to someone, it went really bad.”

  “Margot isn’t Jen.”

  “I know. I’m just taking my time, you know? We’re in no hurry and things are good. We have fun together and she’s been so good about staying on top of our budget. I kind of like that we haven’t rushed into all the serious stuff like saying the L-word, getting engaged, all of that. She has trust issues and I need to make sure she truly trusts me before we get to that point because otherwise, there’s always going to be an issue.”

  “It’s a good idea to take it slow,” Lester said, “as long as she knows how you feel. I don’t think telling her you love her is the same as getting engaged and all that. I would let her know.”

  “I agree,” Ian said. “Those three words are important and you don’t want her to think you’re casual about this.”

  “She knows I’m not. We’ve talked about it a lot, mostly because of Gracie, but I told her I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I still think the words matter,” Ian said firmly. “But you do you.”

  “I need the timing to be right,” I said after a minute. “You know, not in the middle of sex or anything, because that feels like heat of the moment. And honestly, that’s the only time we’re alone.”

  “Leave Gracie here tonight, take your woman home, and give her some lovin’ that doesn’t include your dick,” Ian said, laughing.

  I shook my head at him. “Yeah, okay. Whatever.”

  I reached for the remote. He might be right about me needing to tell Margot how I felt, but definitely not in the way I should say it. Or the timing either.

  Geez, I had a lot to think about.

  27

  Margot

  We spent Thanksgiving weekend shopping and decorating for the holidays. I had a handful of ornaments and things, but not a lot, and Tore had none. So we sat down with our budget and figured out how much we could spend without messing up his plans to pay down his debt, and then we went shopping. Gracie was about as excited as I’d ever seen her, dancing around the stores and helping me pick out stockings, stocking hangers, a wreath for the front door, and a few other staples. She had a stocking, of course, but we decided to leave that one at Auntie Evie’s house since we would be there for part of the holidays too.

  The very best part of the weekend was when we went to pick out a live Christmas tree. Everly and I had always had fake ones because it was so much cheaper, but Tore insisted on finding a real one and we walked through the farm slowly, inspecting almost all of them.

  “It can’t be too big,” Tore said sadly, “because the ceilings in the apartment are only eight feet, but I think we can find a six-footer and that’ll be okay.”

  “I think a six-foot tree is perfect,” I told him, sliding my hand into his. We watched as Gracie raced ahead, dancing around all the different trees, laughing as she ran her fingers through the branches.

  “She loves this,” he said, meeting my eyes.

  “She does. She’s so happy.”

  “Are you?” He paused, pulling me against him.

  “Happy? Of course.” I looked into his eyes. “There’s nothing better than going shopping for the holidays.”

  “No, I meant in general. Are you happy? Is this thing between us what you wanted it to be?”

  “It’s better,” I whispered, pressing a quick kiss on his lips before looking around for Gracie.

  “Mommy! Daddy! This is it!” Gracie was calling to us. “This is the tree.”

  We smiled at each other as we walked in her direction, our fingers linked.

  “I think she may be right,” Tore said, sizing up the tree.

  “You two go stand in front of it,” I said. “I want to take some pictures.”

  I pulled out my phone and snapped a handful before Tore tugged me closer to them.

  “Selfie of the three of us,” he said, lifting Gracie in his arms.

  I snapped the photo and smiled as I showed them the picture. “I think we look awesome.”

  “You’re so pretty, Mommy.” Gracie put her small hand on the side of my face.

  “Not as pretty as you,” I laughed, kissing her.

  She wiggled to get down and Tore picked up the tree to carry it out to Ian’s SUV since neither of us had a car big enough for it. I paid the cashier and then Gracie and I followed in his direction.

  “I can’t wait to see Santa,” she told me. “I have a list for him.”

  I chuckled. “Try not to ask for too much,” I told her. “We have so much to be grateful for, we don’t need to be greedy, you know? I think we should buy a toy for Toys for Tots again this year, for little boys and girls who don’t have anything.”

  “Okay.” She nodded solemnly.

  I’d never had a lot but I tried to give back in small ways, even if it was a five- or ten-dollar toy. Somewhere, there had to be a kid with nothing, that even the smallest gift would mean the world to. I also wanted to teach my daughte
r about being selfless, whether she truly grasped the concept at this age or not. Eventually, she would.

  “If you want, you can take Ian’s SUV back to him,” Tore said, “while I get the tree set up in the stand. By the time you get back, we’ll be ready to decorate.”

  “When I get back, it’ll be time to eat dinner,” I told him, “but yes, then we can decorate.”

  “I love Christmas,” Gracie said, sighing dramatically.

  “Me too, Princess Penalty Box.” He grinned at her.

  “When are we going to see Santa?” she demanded, bouncing in her seat.

  “Next weekend,” I told her. “But only if you’re good.”

  “I’m always good,” she said primly, batting her eyelashes at me.

  I rolled my eyes, laughing. She was so sassy sometimes, I wondered where she got it, because it wasn’t from me. If anything, Everly had rubbed off on her. In fact, she was already starting to pick up some of Tore’s mannerisms and it was hysterical to watch the two of them together sometimes.

  “Can we make cookies tomorrow?” Gracie asked me.

  “Daddy has a game tomorrow,” I said, “so we can either bake cookies or go to the game.”

  “Game!” she yelled excitedly.

  “That’s my girl,” Tore told her. “You’re gonna start playing hockey soon, right?”

  “I already play hockey,” she replied. “Just not on the ice.”

  “Well, yeah, ice hockey is harder, but we’ll get you there. Next weekend, we’ll go skating, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  It was a wonderful evening spent making Tore’s bachelor pad into a family home ready for the holidays, and though there were still a few things I needed to pick up, I reveled in how wonderful everything looked as we lounged on the couch after Gracie went to bed. He had a fire going in the gas fireplace and the lights in the tree blinked prettily as we lay together.

  “Today has been one of the best days of my life,” I told him quietly. “Spending it with my daughter and a man who means so much to me makes everything about the holidays magical.”