by Kat Mizera
35
Margot
Tore didn’t come home that afternoon, texting me that he was going to stay at the arena until the game. It was probably better that way since I was a mess. I’d thrown up three times today and couldn’t keep anything down. My gut told me it was nerves, but I felt pretty shitty, so there was no way I was going to the game regardless. Everly was supposed to pick me up and I called her about an hour before.
“Hey, do you think you could take Gracie to the game for me? I don’t feel so hot.”
Everly paused. “What’s going on with you, girlfriend? We’ve hardly seen each other and you’re not yourself. What if I come over early and talk a little?”
“Okay. See you in a few.” I collapsed on the couch and watched Gracie play as I tried to keep my stomach under control. It was weird to be getting any kind of morning sickness now, especially since it hadn’t started until Tore and I started fighting. God, this sucked.
I dozed off until the buzzer sounded, and I let Everly into the building. She knocked a minute later and I opened the door warily.
“Hey.” She took one look at me and immediately pulled me in for a hug. “I don’t know what’s going on with you and Tore, but why can’t you talk to me?”
“I can’t put you and Ian in the middle,” I whispered.
“You and I have been besties since we were five years old, and that includes Ian by default. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt Tore, of course, but at the end of the day, we’re on your side.” She paused. “You didn’t cheat on him, did you?”
I smiled sadly. “Not hardly, no.”
“Then what could be so bad?”
I sank onto the couch and buried my face in my hands.
“Oh, honey, what is it?” She sank down beside me and put her arm around me.
“I’m…pregnant,” I whispered. And burst into tears.
“Oh, sweetie.” She hugged me tighter. “I’m guessing Tore didn’t take it well?”
“H-he…doesn’t…know.”
“You didn’t tell him? Why? And if that’s not the reason, why are you fighting?”
I told her everything, going back to the beginning of our budget discussions. She knew a little about his debt but I hadn’t told her all of it because it was private and it wasn’t about me. If it had been my debt, I would have told her immediately, but because it was someone else’s, even Tore’s, I’d been reluctant to give away the scope of his issues with money. Now it all poured out, including his latest purchase and me canceling our travel plans for Limaj.
“What could he have bought that cost so much?” was the first thing she asked.
“I don’t know. I never asked.”
“You didn’t even ask what it was?” She looked confused. “I would be demanding to see it if it was Ian. I don’t monitor his spending, but you know what I mean.”
“I don’t even care at this point. We agreed to talk to each other about any purchases beyond things like gas, groceries, toiletries, stuff like that. And then he went and spent fifteen grand. I can’t figure out who the vendor is, so it was probably gambling or something. He likes to play blackjack on the Strip.”
“Honey, I know you’re upset, but this isn’t how relationships are supposed to work.”
“I know, but how can we plan our future—we’re having another baby!—with him still spending like it’s just him?”
“Okay, in the grand scheme of things, you’re overreacting. He makes, what? Two million a year? Spending fifteen grand isn’t a huge deal, but—”
“On top of the two-thousand-dollar dollhouse, five grand a piece for first-class tickets to Limaj, almost a thousand for the hotel stay when we’re there, not to mention he wants to go to Hawaii for the All-Star break.”
“Did it ever occur to you he loves you and just wants to spoil you?”
“But we’re having a baby!” I burst out.
“He doesn’t know that.”
“Even so, he hasn’t told me he loves me, so I don’t think that’s the reason.”
“He hasn’t…” She made a face. “That’s weird. Have you said it?”
“No.”
“You two need to start communicating.”
“I know, but we’re not in a good place right now and telling him about the baby is going to add an issue we don’t need.”
“Whether you need it or not, there’s a baby.”
“And that’s the other thing.” I met her gaze sadly. “I’m not trapping him into marrying me. I didn’t need a man when I got pregnant with Gracie, and I refuse to go backwards now. I’ll live in a one-room efficiency and get a second job if you’ll help me with Gracie, but—”
“Okay, stop. You’re not living in any shithole efficiency,” she said, scowling. “You’ll come back and live with us, but even if Tore wants nothing to do with you, he’s going to give you child support. You know that.”
“Yeah.”
“How far along are you?”
“Almost eleven weeks.”
“You’re almost through the first trimester.”
“I know.”
“You have to talk to him.”
“I will. Tonight, when he gets home.” I sighed. “And I’m not going to Limaj.”
“What?” She stared at me. “Why not?”
“Because we can’t afford it and, frankly, I’m so tired right now, I don’t know if I have it in me to chase Gracie in a foreign country.”
“Well, we would all help, but I understand not wanting to deal with this with everything going on with you and Tore.” She glanced at her watch. “I’ve got to get going. Are you sure you don’t want to come?”
“I’m sure.” I nodded sadly.
“You want me to keep Gracie overnight so you and Tore can talk?”
“No, it’s okay. Just bring her home. You’re leaving tomorrow and I’m sure you have a thousand things to do. It’ll be okay.”
She hugged me again. “I’ve always got your back,” she whispered.
“I know. I just wish I didn’t always need saving.”
“You’ve got a job and a place to live. You’ve got this. We’ve got this.”
“I’m getting my tubes tied after this,” I muttered. “I seem to be the most fertile woman on earth.”
“We’ll get you an IUD or something,” she said. “And don’t worry, okay? I think everything’s going to be fine. Tore will come around.”
“I hope you’re right.”
I turned on the game and did a little work for Renee. I’d texted her to let her know I wasn’t going on the trip and that I’d keep up with all of the marketing facets we had going on for her upcoming January book release. She’d been surprised but thankfully hadn’t asked too many questions, so that was one bullet dodged. Now I just had to get through a difficult conversation with Tore.
I didn’t even realize I’d fallen asleep waiting for him to get home, until I woke to the sound of a key in the door. I sat up in confusion, realizing it was morning and I was still on the couch. I blinked as Tore came in, rubbing my eyes.
“Did you stay out all night?” I asked.
He frowned. “I texted you,” he said. “Didn’t you get it? I stayed over at Anton and Decker’s place.”
“Why?” I whispered, sitting up.
“Because I needed a little space.” He looked like a defiant toddler with a cookie jar in his hand and I felt like the mom who’d caught him. Which I really hated. And the worst thing was that I didn’t know what to say.
We stared at each other for a minute and then he headed toward the bedroom. “The team is flying out at noon so I have to get going.”
He disappeared into our room and I watched helplessly. This was definitely not the time to tell him I was pregnant.
Fuck, how did things keep going so wrong?
I got up and followed him into our room, watching as he finished packing. We’d both started packing earlier in the week but I’d put my stuff away yesterday and it was obvious he was sti
ll mad that I wasn’t going.
“When are we going to talk?” I asked him.
“I don’t know.” He didn’t even turn around. “But not now. I have to go.”
“You’re not leaving for four more hours and it takes fifteen minutes to get to the airport.”
“I don’t want to fight with Gracie in the house, and honestly, I don’t really know what to say. The fact that you don’t trust me hurts.”
“That fact that I can’t trust you hurts.”
He turned slowly. “Then I guess we’re at a stalemate.” He closed his suitcase. “I’m going to go say goodbye to Gracie. I’ll see you in five days.”
“That’s it?” I asked, my heart constricting painfully. He was really going to leave without talking about anything.
“Well, when I get back, we’re going to have to figure out where to go from here.”
36
Tore
It wasn’t until I was sitting on the plane, watching a movie on my laptop, that guilt started to creep in. I’d been such a jerk, and thinking about the look in Margot’s eyes broke my heart a little. I hadn’t meant to be mean, but I was so hurt about the way she’d handled things. I was warring with myself on whether or not to come clean about the engagement ring while simultaneously wondering how I was going to marry someone who treated me like a little kid when it came to finances.
You act like a little kid when it comes to finances.
The thought zinged through my subconscious, but it was strong enough to make me groan. Jesus, what had I done? Why hadn’t I behaved like a grown man who’d merely had a big misunderstanding with the woman he loved? Instead, I’d been more like a spoiled teenager who wanted to make my girlfriend feel as bad as she’d made me feel. And what the hell good did that do? Especially with someone like Margot, who’d been treated so badly by men in the past. I never wanted to be that guy to any woman, much less to her.
I picked up my phone to text her but realized how lame that would be. And what would I say? Hey, sorry I was a dick, but I promise I’ll be more mature when I get home?
“Hey.” Ian sank down in the seat next to mine.
“Hey.”
“What’s this I hear about Margot not coming to Limaj?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, we had a fight and at first I thought I could salvage the surprise since we were going to be in Limaj in a few days anyway. And then she cancelled her flights, hers and Gracie’s, and that pissed me off. It was like one thing after another and the more stubborn she got, the more stubborn I got, and now…” I spread my hands helplessly. “And I was kind of a dick before I left for the airport.”
“Seriously?” Ian shook his head. “What did you fight about?”
“Don’t yell at me,” I warned.
He arched his brows.
“She saw a fraudulent charge notice.”
“The ring?” His eyes widened. “All of this is about the ring?!”
“And then I figured Everly would tell her and she’d be okay, but it doesn’t appear that Everly said anything.”
“Because Everly doesn’t know,” Ian said, his eyes narrowing. “I didn’t tell her on purpose, so it would be a fun surprise for both of them. She’s a huge romantic, and I know she’d love the whole idea of you proposing at the palace, almost as much as Margot would.”
I groaned again. “Fuck. I really made a mess of everything.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I mean, she actually said she didn’t know how she could trust me and that she didn’t think I was ready to be Gracie’s dad.”
He winced. “Ouch. That’s brutal.”
“Yeah.” I sat back in a huff. “And to be honest, it hurt my feelings.”
“I get it. I’d be hurt too, but this is just a huge misunderstanding. You didn’t betray her trust, you were just trying to surprise her, so if you tell her what happened, everything should be okay.”
“That’s what I kept thinking, but every time we got close to that point, something else went crazy and now I’m flying halfway around the world while she’s at home. Completely alone. Literally every adult she knows is headed to Limaj, from her boss to Gracie’s doctor to Jamie and the kids. So she’s all alone in Vegas, and with the way her mind works, who knows what the hell she’s thinking?”
“Are you going to call her?”
“I don’t know.” I was so torn. “I don’t want to fight anymore, and I really don’t think we can make up on the phone. I need to be with her and this just sucks.”
“Hang in there, buddy. We’ll spend tomorrow practicing and getting ready, the next day is the game, and the day after that, we fly home. Four days including today. You two can hang on that long.”
“I really fucking hope so.”
When the flight landed, I went ahead and sent Margot a text because I didn’t want to be any more insensitive than I’d already been.
TORE: Just landed. Hope you’re doing okay.
MARGOT: Thanks for letting me know.
TORE: You okay?
MARGOT: I’m fine. No worries.
“I’m fine” was supposedly woman-code for “fuck off” or “you’re in trouble” or some other mystical thing I didn’t quite understand, so I figured I was only going to make it worse if I kept talking.
TORE: See you in four days.
She didn’t respond to that so I let it go, wondering how I was going to fix this. Luckily, from the minute we stepped off the plane, I was distracted. There was a parade welcoming us to the country, followed by a reception at the palace with the king. By the time I got to bed that night, I didn’t have time to think about anything because I was exhausted. There was practice and touristy events tomorrow, and the game the following day, so I just had to stay focused on hockey and try to figure out a way to fix what I’d broken with Margot.
The game was amazing. Outdoors in a big soccer arena, in frigid temperatures, with an extremely excited crowd, many of whom knew very little or nothing about hockey. That part of it was incredibly exciting, seeing the kids crowding the ice to get closer, to get a taste of something completely new to them. The kids were truly the best part of being a professional hockey player. The money was great—I wouldn’t even pretend that wasn’t a huge lure—and the perks of travel and the camaraderie were good too, but the kids? That was special. They looked up to us, and while none of us were perfect, we were role models both in sports and in life.
One of many reasons Margot had been so good for me. I wasn’t thinking about partying anymore, wasn’t drinking until I passed out on some strange woman’s bed, and wasn’t sitting at casinos on my days off. I’d been part of a family the last three months, with a kid who counted on me and a woman who loved me. We were butting heads a bit right now, but I truly couldn’t imagine ending things. There were issues we had to sort out, and I needed to understand why she’d immediately thought the worst of me, but deep down, I felt like we’d work through it.
After the game, which we won against the Alaska Blizzard, we signed autographs and then headed to the palace for a cocktail party. We were being treated like royalty on this trip and I was sad that Margot wasn’t here. I was even more depressed that my big romantic proposal wasn’t going to happen. I’d gotten permission from the royal family to propose in one of their gardens, and then I’d had to lie and say that Margot was under the weather and hadn’t been able to make the trip. So here I was, wandering around this big ballroom by myself, wishing my girl and my kid were here with me like all the other families were.
“Hey, Tore.” The voice was familiar and I turned in surprise.
“Jen.”
She gave me a small smile. “How’s it going?”
“What are you doing here?”
“I came with Chelsea,” she said. “And don’t worry, I’ve given my word I won’t cause any trouble for you and your friend.”
“She’s my girlfriend, not my friend.”
“Right. Sorry.” She looked away. �
��I, uh, wanted to apologize for the things I said at that party a couple of months ago.”
“Oh?” I wasn’t comfortable talking to her right now. There were photographers everywhere, and a handful of members of the press, so I had a feeling there would be a picture of me and my ex-girlfriend out on social media within minutes. There was just no way to walk away without being a jerk.
“The things I said about you not knowing whether you like guys or girls, about how you weren’t ready to be a dad to that little girl… I didn’t mean them. I was just mad at myself for messing things up between us and at you for actually having the audacity to move on. But that was all my shit, you know? I was drunk and jealous and being a bitch and I’m sorry.”
“I appreciate you saying that,” I said honestly. “I really do. And honestly, I wish you’d get some help. You’ve been miserable for a long time and I did love you once, so I want what’s best for you.”
“Thanks. I’m going to see someone in a few weeks.”
“Good.”
“Well, I’m going to go find Chelsea. I just wanted to apologize. I hope in the future we can be friends.”
“It’s probably going to take a while for that to happen,” I admitted. “I don’t think Margot is ready for anything like that.”
“I don’t blame her. I was pretty jealous when you were mine too.” She reached out to hug me and then made her way in the other direction.
I had no idea where that had come from, but it was nice to hear an apology from her. I also made a mental note to tell Margot she’d been here and that we’d talked, so it didn’t come back to bite me in the ass at some point. Though I hadn’t done anything wrong, Jen had a way of making things chaotic, one of many reasons I had so much credit card debt. I wasn’t putting the blame on anyone else, but she hadn’t helped. We’d blown through money together like it was water. She’d paid for some of it, for sure, but nowhere near what I’d paid for, and it had never crossed her mind that we were being stupid.
