nowhere

by Marysue Hobika

  She blushed and tipped her head down. I swore I thought I saw her take a deep breath through her nose, intentionally smelling my shirt. I hoped it didn’t smell bad. When she looked up, she wore a satisfied smile.

  “Are you busy tomorrow?” Smirking I added, “I know how much you like to walk and there’s a great trail not far from here that I’d like to show you.”

  She didn’t answer. She just stood there with a strange look on her face.

  “So, are you busy?” I asked for a second time. I never asked the same question twice, but I was desperate for her to say yes. She took so long to answer I began to worry that she was going to turn me down.

  She nervously brushed back her hair. “Really? You want to go on a hike with me? After everything that happened tonight?”

  “I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t serious.”

  “Okay,” she whispered. “I’ll go.”

  “It’s a date. I don’t have practice tomorrow, so as soon as I finish my chores, I’ll call you.”

  She smiled and opened the door, disappearing inside the house.

  Chapter Five

  Mike

  I climbed the creaky stairs for a second time tonight and entered the bedroom I shared with Emma. Thanks to James and his strong back, Emma was asleep. I placed the wastepaper basket next to her on the floor, just in case she got sick again. I never made the same mistake twice. I hoped Emma felt like crap in the morning, and that her head hurt so much she wished she were dead. Then I’d give her hell.

  I’d have loved a hot shower, but I knew it would wake everyone up. There’s only one in this house. I missed my home in San Francisco, where I didn’t have to share a bedroom or a bathroom. If we hadn’t moved, I’d be able to jump in the shower without waking the whole house. I angrily peeled off my skirt, leaving it in a heap on the floor, and climbed into bed. James’ oversized shirt was comforting, so I kept it on. He was so tall and strong. I hoped by wearing his shirt, my nightmares might remain at bay. I breathed in his scent—soap with an underlying hint of woodsy earth. I closed my eyes and began to sink into my pillow.

  Just as I began to fall asleep, my cell phone rang. Groggily, I scrambled for the device before anyone heard it ringing through these paper-thin walls. Who the hell would be calling me in the middle of the night? Paige. I never called her. She probably forgot about the three-hour time difference.

  “Hi Paige,” I said, my voice sounding sleepy to my own ears.

  “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

  “It’s one o’clock in the morning.”

  “Yeah, but you never go to bed before dawn.”

  “After the night I had, trust me, I was more than ready to call it a day.”

  “I sense a good story. Do tell.”

  I pictured Paige in her red bedroom that I helped her paint last summer, lying on her huge bed with her arm under her head and her feet crossed at the ankles.

  “Start at the beginning and don’t leave anything out,” Paige prompted.

  Paige and I met in sixth grade, when she moved to our school, and we’d been best friends ever since. She knew me better than anyone. She’d been there for me through everything— my dad dying, all the fights with my mom, and most recently this dreadful relocation. Paige and I had talked on the phone every day since I left San Francisco. I didn’t think I would’ve survived the road trip without our daily phone calls.

  I began with our arrival and I finished with Emma getting plastered and puking all over me.

  “Wow,” Paige said. “Why couldn’t Emma save that performance for when I come to visit you for your birthday? I’d pay to see her make a fool of herself. You must be super pissed.”

  “I’m going to kill her in the morning.”

  Paige laughed. “From the anger in your voice, I almost feel bad for Emma.”

  My friend had witnessed countless fights between me and my sister over the years. Emma never came out on top.

  “Who am I kiddin’? I don’t feel bad for Emma,” Paige recanted. “It sounds like she deserves your wrath…But enough about Emma. Tell me more about the rugged cowboy that came to the rescue. Is he cute?”

  I pulled the covers over my head and laughed. “When he took his shirt off and handed it to me, my heart started to race. He’s so beautiful. He has broad shoulders and a perfect six-pack.” I had to stop to catch my breath. Just talking about him sent tendrils of excitement through my body.

  “Wow.” Paige sighed.

  I searched for the right words to describe James. “And he’s more than just easy on the eyes. I actually enjoyed talking to him. He’s different than other boys. He seems older, more mature.”

  “You enjoyed talking to him?” Paige sounded surprised. I thought a lot of guys were cute, but as soon as they opened their mouths I lost all interest. Guys could be so egotistical and dumb.

  I knew Paige was trying to read between the lines. I couldn’t keep anything from her. “We didn’t really talk that much. It wasn’t so much what he said, it was what he didn’t say. He didn’t ramble on and on about himself and talk about football like every other guy I met. Mostly I liked how instead of pointing out how ridiculous I was acting, he gave me time to walk off my anger.”

  “And?” She pressed me for my details.

  “I thought he was going to kiss me and then, right on cue, Emma…” I ground my teeth as I said her name. “…started throwing up.”

  “Oh, the irony!” Paige exclaimed dramatically—she liked to use borrowed vocabulary and phrases from the classic literature she was always reading.

  “He asked me if I had plans tomorrow,” I whispered.

  “Well, what did you say?”

  “I agreed to go on a hike with him. He’s going to call me in the morning.”

  “A hike?” Paige sounded confused. She knew I’d never gone on a hike in my life. I walk to and from school, but I’m a city girl. A hike implies nature.

  “Yes, he thinks that because I insisted on walking home from the party that I must be into hiking. So, we’re going to check out a nearby trail.”

  All I heard on the other end of the line was shrieking. I pulled the phone away from my ear for several seconds to prevent permanent damage to my eardrums until I was sure Paige had regained control.

  “I better let you go so you can rest up for your big hike.” She giggled. “And don’t forget to call me tomorrow night.” Her commanding tone left no room for me to ignore her request. “I want details.”

  I yawned. “Right. Details. Tomorrow night.” I closed my phone. I hoped I would be telling Paige all about how right I was about James being different than other boys. I could almost feel his strong arms holding me close as we shared a first kiss.

  Chapter Six

  Dooner

  My alarm went off at six o’clock this morning and I’d been mucking stalls ever since. I paused for a second to wipe the sweat from my forehead. Even though it was still early, I could tell it was going to be a hot and humid day. I finished laying fresh hay in the last stall. I couldn’t wait to be done with my chores. I was so hungry, I could’ve eaten a six-egg omelet without blinking an eye.

  There was plenty of time to eat, shower, and rest before my date with Mikayla. I was so glad I bumped into Ray yesterday afternoon and found out about the get-together to meet Tyler’s cousins. That had been the first time I went to a party and actually had fun. I couldn’t wait to discover why she was so feisty. Bantering with her almost seemed like foreplay. I grinned at the memory of how hot she looked walking home in the moonlight, her curls bouncing and her sexy ass shaking in that little jean skirt.

  I snapped out of my daydream when my dad came toward me. I scowled. It looked like he was carrying an apple in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He threw me the apple from twenty yards away. I caught it and took a crunchy bite. It tasted good, but it didn’t even begin to take the edge off of my hunger.

  “Good catch, son.” He slapped me on the back. I almost choked on the lar
ge bite of apple in my mouth. “You got a good eye. I would’ve been disappointed if you’d missed that. Not to mention your breakfast would have landed in the dirt.” He laughed.

  “This is my breakfast?” I grumbled angrily, staring at the half-eaten apple. “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.” I swore I heard the horses in the barn whinny. I called out over my shoulder, “Sorry guys, no offense.”

  “It’s all I got.” My dad shrugged his shoulders, as if to say it wasn’t his problem I had such a large appetite. “Anyway, your mom’s too busy this morning to stop and make you something to eat. She has work to do. So do you.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, finishing the apple. I threw the core as far as I could.

  “Not a bad arm either. You sure got talent, kid.” He stamped his cigarette with the toe of his farm boot. “I need your muscle power right now. The tractor has a tire that needs changing.”

  “Okay,” I agreed quietly. I knew there was no way out of it. It would be faster in the long run to help him now and get it over with. It wasn’t even 9 a.m. I couldn’t call Mikayla yet anyway because she was probably still asleep.

  We reached the field where the tractor sat, along with his pickup truck. “What exactly do you need me to do?”

  “I need you to help me get the tractor up in the air, so that I can take the tire off. Get the jack.” He pointed to the pile of tools. I carried the heavy jack and placed it under the tractor frame near the flat tire. I cranked it according to my dad’s instructions. I thought my arm might snap in two; I had to use all of my strength just to get it to budge a few inches. Sweat poured down my back, soaking my shirt. My dad loosened the lug nuts and it took both of us to get the old tire off. Tractor tires weren’t light. I sighed with relief when we placed it in the back of the pickup truck.

  “Hey, where’s the new tire?” I looked around, but I didn’t see it. “In the barn?” I was anxious to finish this job.

  “Get in,” my dad said, closing the tailgate of his truck. I did as I was told. My dad got in too and started the engine.

  “Where are we going? I thought the new tire was in the barn?” We weren’t headed in that direction.

  “No, I never said that.” He laughed and lit another cigarette. The smell suffocated me in the small confines of the cab. “The new tire’s at the store. You didn’t actually think I kept spare tractor tires hanging around, did you?” He chuckled. I never found any humor in my dad’s comments.

  “We’re going to the supply store? Now?” I shouted. I was pissed. How could I have been so stupid to think anything my dad involved me in would be quick and easy? “Can’t you go by yourself? The guys at the store will help you unload the old tire and reload the new one. Then I’ll help you put the new tire on when you get back,” I reasoned.

  “Sorry, Jimmy, I’m not turning around.” He pulled out onto the main road. Like most places, the farm supply store was at least twenty miles away. We were going to be gone awhile. I let out a frustrated sigh. Today of all days, I didn’t have time for this. Luckily, I felt my phone in my back pocket. I’d call Mikayla while my dad was preoccupied looking at tires. Damn it! I didn’t even have her number. I’d have to call information to get her grandfather’s number.

  “All right, stop your fretting,” my dad announced, misinterpreting my brooding. “I’ll take you to breakfast before we get the new tire. You can order whatever you want, no matter the price.” He shook his head. “I never met anyone in my life who thinks about food as much as you do. You’re going to eat me out of house and home. That scholarship of yours better include a meal plan,” he joked, pulling into a local grease joint.

  The smell of dirty oil and fried food hit me as soon as we pushed open the door. The booths were covered in red vinyl and showed signs of wear. Normally I tried to stay away from places like this, but right now I’d eat just about anything. I ordered the special, rightly named the rubbage plate—two hamburgers, mac salad, and home fries. I washed the meal down with a large chocolate milkshake. My dad silently watched me eat, ordering only a cup of coffee for himself.

  It was almost noon by the time we pulled into the supply store’s parking lot. Half the day was already gone and I still hadn’t called Mikayla. I helped my dad unload the flat tire and then I took off in the opposite direction.

  I called information and had the operator connect me. The whole time I waited I was hoping that Mikayla would understand why I wasn’t going to be able to go on the hike like I’d planned.

  On the tenth ring, someone finally answered. “Hello.” The person on the other end sounded annoyed.

  “Hi, this is Dooner. Is Mikayla there?”

  “Oh hi, Dooner. This is Emma,,” she responded, her tone changing “Aren’t you such a gentleman to call to see how I’m feelin’?”

  I rolled my eyes, even though she couldn’t see me. “Look, I only have a sec. Can I talk to Mikayla, please?”

  “Do you mean Mike? Because she hates it when people call her Mikayla.”

  “Yes, I mean Mike, Mikayla, whatever. Just please, can I talk to her?” I was starting to get exasperated. My dad would be looking for me soon.

  “I’m sorry, Dooner, but she can’t come to the phone right now. She’s in the shower.”

  I peered around the corner and saw my dad. I quickly turned down another aisle. Keeping my voice low, I added, “Well, can you take a message for me then?”

  “I’d be happy to.”

  I paused for a second to gather my thoughts. “Please tell Mikayla that I’m sorry, but my dad has me running errands and helping him on the farm. I’m not going to be able to get together like we planned. I’ll call back later when I’m done. Maybe I can stop by after dinner, or something.” I hated making excuses, but in this case it was the truth.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure she gets the message,” promised Emma.

  “Thanks,” I responded, lacking enthusiasm. I had a bad feeling that Mikayla wouldn’t get the message that I called. She’ll probably assume I’m blowing her off. I sighed, feeling defeated.

  I stuffed my phone back in my pocket just as my dad walked toward me. “I’m all set with the tire.” He motioned me to follow him. “Come on, I need to grab a few other things while we’re here.” I felt like my one chance with Mike was gone.

  It was four o’clock in the afternoon by the time we were finished putting on the new tire. I couldn’t believe how long it had taken. “I’m calling it a day,” announced my dad as we put away the tools. He must need a drink, I thought. Hell, if I drank I’d grab one too after the day I had.

  I turned on the shower and washed away the sweat and dirt. I felt terrible about screwing things up with Mikayla. I knew I should call her and explain what happened, but I didn’t think she’d want to talk to me.

  Chapter Seven

  Mike

  I used my fork to push the meatloaf around my plate. I didn’t have much of an appetite. I felt like an idiot for sitting around the house all day, waiting for that cowboy, James, to call. “Can I be excused?”

  My mom looked at my uneaten dinner and sighed. “Sure.”

  I walked out onto the front porch. As the door closed behind me, I thought I heard a kitchen chair scrape across the floor. Seconds later, Emma poked her head out. “Mind if I join you?”

  Since when did Emma ask my permission to do anything? “Sure.” I shrugged.

  Emma lay down on the wicker settee, resting her head on the pillows, and curled up into a ball. She looked like hell. She wasn’t wearing any make-up; even though she had olive-toned skin like our father, she looked extremely pale. The corners of my mouth turned up when I realized that she was getting the punishment she deserved.

  She took a deep breath. “I want to thank you for taking care of me last night.” She continued slowly, talking mostly to herself. “We were partying on that dirt road and Tyler introduced us to some of his friends. I met his girlfriend, Liz, and we talked about cheerleading tryouts.” She paused to scratc
h at a giant mosquito bite on her leg. “We were all having a good time and then out of nowhere you decided you wanted to go home. I climbed into Dooner’s truck and that’s the last thing I remember. This morning I woke up in my own bed. I assume you had something to do with that?” I couldn’t respond because I was too shocked. This was the first time Emma and I had talked all day. She didn’t get up until late, and by then I had gone on a walk by myself, realizing that Dooner had stood me up.

  Emma added quietly, “Thanks. I don’t know what would’ve happened to me if you hadn’t been there. I was pretty drunk.”

  “That’s an understatement.”

  “I did feel awful when I woke up today.” I raised my eyebrows. “Okay, I still feel awful. My stomach’s queasy and I’ve got a killer headache. It’s like I was on an upside-down roller coaster ride all night long with my head thrashing against the safety bars while my stomach did loop-de-loops.” She closed her eyes.

  If Emma was looking for sympathy, she wouldn’t find any here. “You deserve to feel like crap.”

  Emma opened her eyes and pushed up onto her elbow. “What the hell does that mean? I already thanked you for taking care of me.”

  “Don’t you remember what happened after you fell asleep in Jam truck?”

  “Who the hell is James?” She sounded confused.

  “Dooner, James, whatever you want to call him. Do you remember what happened or not?” I asked for a second time, getting impatient.

  “No. Why? Did something happen?” Her voice suddenly jumped an octave. A wicked smile spread across her face. “Did Dooner kiss me? Surely, I’d remember that.” She scratched her head. “He is drop-dead gorgeous.”

  My mouth hung open.

  Emma mistook the look on my face. “That’s it, isn’t it? He kissed me. Don’t even try to deny it.”

  I snickered. “I have news for you. James definitely did not kiss you.” I paused briefly before delivering the punch line. “You puked on me.”