Burn So Bright

by Jennifer Bernard

  He looked around in bewilderment, finally locating her next to the Super Duty. Waiting for him, alert and ready as a soldier.

  He stumped to the truck and opened the passenger-side door. She jumped into the seat and cocked her head at him. Grumbling, he went around to the driver’s side. “It would help if I had any clue where to go. You want me to just randomly drive around Jupiter Point looking for her?”

  Snowball gave a little bark.

  “I know, I know, I’m talking to a dog like you can understand.” He thought for a moment. “She’s probably with a friend.”

  He called Evie, only to get the news that Evie was with Brianna, and neither of them had seen Suzanne. He called the Mercury News-Gazette, figuring Merry would be working late. She was, of course, but she hadn’t seen Suzanne either.

  A persistent sense of dread grew in his heart. Was she with her friends from the Y, the ones who were helping her with the shelter project? He didn’t have their phone numbers, but his gut told him that Suzanne probably wasn’t with them. In the course of one day, she’d been violently sick on a sailboat, gotten rushed to a clinic, and dumped all his stuff on her doorstep. She probably wasn’t following that up with a shelter-planning session.

  Where would Suzanne go to seek comfort?

  The answer was so fucking obvious he slammed his hand into the steering wheel, causing Snowball to startle.

  Casa di Stella, of course. Her childhood home, the place she’d spent years dreaming about. The place she was about to lose forever.

  He jammed the key in the ignition and slammed his throbbing foot into the accelerator.

  Snowball seemed to get more and more agitated the closer they got to the beautiful rolling hills of the subdivision where Casa di Stella was located. Something was definitely wrong. The back of his neck was prickling, goose bumps were rising on his arms. It was the same feeling he got at the first hint of smoke from a wildfire. He rolled down the window and sniffed.

  Yup. Smoke. And it was coming from the direction of Casa di Stella.

  He drove like a madman the rest of the way, which was only a few more turns. Finally, there it was, like a grand old lady at a Victorian tea party. Except now the lady was wearing a skirt of fire.

  Flames surrounded the entire base of the quirky old structure. And at the very top, just behind the turrets, a figure jumped up and down, waving her arms and yelling over the crackling of the blaze.

  Suzanne.

  28

  Suzanne recognized the hotshots’ big Ford truck right away as it drove into the cobblestone courtyard. Was it Josh? Had to be! She jumped up and down on the platform and waved her arms and yelled.

  The door flew open and Josh tumbled out of the vehicle, practically flying on his crutches. Snowball leaped out after him.

  He stopped and shooed Snowball back into the truck. Good call—it would be hard to keep her out of harm’s way. It would be hard to keep Josh out of harm’s way too, but he was a trained firefighter.

  On crutches.

  With no firefighting gear.

  Wait. He was doing something in the back of the Super Duty. When he emerged again, he wore a bulky padded jacket and a helmet.

  At least it was something. He closed the door, enclosing Snowball inside, then swung toward the house at a rapid pace, phone to his ear. Probably calling 9-1-1. Thank God. She prayed the fire department would come quickly. The fire was building so fast, it was crazy. The flames were gobbling up the dry ivy and old shingles.

  Fear tightened her throat. There were only two ways down from this platform. She could go back into the attic and down the stairs or she could try to climb down the outside. She went to the edge and peered over. What if she tried to jump to one of the trees? What if she missed? Even if she didn’t miss, how hard would it be to climb all the way down a tall cypress tree? What if it caught fire while she was making her way down?

  Oh God.

  Josh yelled something, but she couldn’t hear him over the roar of the flames. She shrugged her shoulders in a gesture as exaggerated as she could make it, and shook her head from side to side. He came closer and yelled again.

  “Say you’re a car!”

  Say you’re a car? That made no sense. Oh—of course. Stay where you are.

  “Are you sure?” She yelled back.

  He returned her shrugging gesture from before. It was probably even harder for him to hear her, with the wind snatching her words away. Then she remembered something—the sound-traveling effect she and her friends used to play with. The whole house was riddled with speaking vents, including a gutter that ran along the edge of the roof and acted as a sort of megaphone, broadcasting sound over the lawn. She crawled to the corner of the gutter and lay on her belly.

  “Hi, Josh. Can you hear me?”

  Josh gave a little jump of response. He made a megaphone of his own hands and yelled up to her. “Yes. Can you hear me?”

  She nodded vigorously. “Did you call the fire department?”

  “Yes. Don’t go anywhere. Rescue chopper coming.”

  “How long?”

  “Soon.” His voice was rough and strained as he shouted over the sound of the flames. “Just stay calm.”

  Stay calm. Right. Her gaze clung to his tall, wide-shouldered frame. It was totally selfish of her, but it helped that he was here. But what if he got hurt? She couldn’t bear that. “Be careful,” she yelled through the gutter. “You’re too close to the flames.”

  “I’m okay. Don’t worry about me. I do this for a living.”

  “You won’t leave?”

  “I won’t leave until that chopper comes. But I might take a step back.” There, a hint of the usual Josh playfulness. It took the edge off her fear.

  “You won’t leave?” She heard the pleading note in her voice, like a childlike sob, but couldn’t help it. She hated being left behind.

  “Pinkie promise.” He grinned, and at that moment, she loved Josh so much she thought she might burst. “Even if you kicked me out, I wouldn’t leave.”

  “I’m sorry.” She choked up at the thought of how she’d ejected his things from her condo. “I’m sorry about the note.”

  “I deserved it. I was an ass.” He yelled that word with extra-loud emphasis. “Do me a favor, Suzanne.”

  “What?”

  “I can’t kneel because of my broken leg. Can you use your imagination?”

  Kneel? What was he talking about?

  “Can you picture me kneeling?” he repeated.

  “Okay, but Josh, this house is about to burn down and I really don’t have time for make-believe right now and—”

  The wind swirled a flame in Josh’s direction. He took a big step backwards and nearly stumbled over a garden gnome.

  “Josh!” she screamed, horror sweeping through her. What if he hit his head? What if he got knocked out and burned alive?

  But Josh regained his balance in a matter of seconds. “Humor me,” he yelled. “Please. Just keep your eyes on me. Don’t think about the flames. I only have a short window before the chopper gets here.”

  “Okay, okay.” Tears were running down her face. Plan B, Plan B…if Josh got knocked out, she’d run down the stairs and take her chances with the fire. She’d drag him out to his truck. She’d—

  “Suzanne, can you hear me?”

  “Yes!”

  “I love you! I love you with all my heart and soul and I want to marry you.”

  She let out a strange mutant sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh.

  He cupped his hands around his mouth again and yelled it more loudly. “Did you hear me? I want to be with you. Together. You, me and your baby.”

  “You’re crazy!” she yelled into the gutter. “You don’t want that stuff. You said so.”

  “I was wrong. Everything’s different now. I love you!”

  This was insane. Maybe she was having delusions because of dehydration or pregnancy hormones or smoke. This couldn’t be happening. Josh couldn’t actua
lly be here yelling up at her like some kind of Romeo on crutches.

  But, if it wasn’t real, what harm could there be in telling him how she felt?

  “I love you too,” she called into the gutter. “I’m crazy head over heels in love with you!”

  He must have heard, because his face lit up. The effect was amplified by the vivid orange glow from the leaping flames.

  “Is that a yes?” he hollered.

  Before she could answer, a low whirring drowned her out. A wicked wind whipped her clothes against her body. She looked up to see the belly of a helicopter hovering overhead, a blur of blades pinning it against the dark sky. A man in some kind of harness dropped toward her. She started to get up, but he gestured at her to stay where she was.

  She looked back down at Josh, who was watching the whole process with close attention. He seemed oblivious to any danger he might be in. He kept his gaze fixed on her, his crutches planted on the grass, unmoved by the crazy chaos of flames between him and her. Out on the street, she saw lights flashing from two big fire engines zooming into view. Even over the thump-thump of the helicopter’s blades, she heard the reassuring sound of the trucks’ sirens.

  Her eyes stung from the smoke saturating the air. Tears sprang into her eyes. She blinked and coughed, eyes stinging. With the smoke and the chopper and the sirens, it felt like the end of the world. In a way, it was—her childhood home was burning down, her former dreams along with it. The past was evaporating in a vortex of smelly smoke.

  Firefighters in full bunker gear jogged from the fire engines. One of them came up to Josh, clearly trying to get him out of there. He shook his head firmly, but he did step back, well out of the reach of the flames.

  A sob racked her body. Even though rescue was here, firefighters with engines and hoses and a helicopter to snatch her away, Josh wasn’t leaving. He was keeping his promise to stay with her to the end.

  The man from the helicopter landed next to her and crouched at her side. “I’m going to fasten this harness around you,” he shouted over the din. “Then we’ll get you out of here. You ready?”

  She looked back at Josh. Leaning on his crutches, he gave her a big thumb’s up. Then he flapped his wings like a bird. Funny guy.

  When she looked back at her rescuer, she was smiling. “I’m ready.”

  “Is anyone inside the house?”

  “No.” The man who had set the fire was long gone, and the house had been empty when she got there. The firefighter relayed that information into his helmet mic, then set to work.

  He wrapped the harness around her and clipped it into place. He attached the carabiner to the same cable he was using. Then he made a hand gesture to the chopper up above. Slowly, the helicopter rose higher above the platform. With a jerk, Suzanne felt herself being lifted up. She clung to the firefighter as they swooped through the smoky air. Wind pummeled her face, making her eyes water.

  She looked down at Casa di Stella, shocked to see that the back gazebo was already collapsing. A long ladder extended from one of the fire engines. A firefighter perched on a platform at its tip and aimed a stream of water at the flames, but it seemed so hopeless. The entire structure was disintegrating before her eyes.

  Goodbye, dear sweet home. Goodbye. Tears streaming down her face, she watched her beloved building recede beneath her.

  And then she looked again for Josh. Craning her neck, she spotted him off to the side, gaze still fixed on her. He blew her a kiss with a wide swing of his arm.

  Wait…she hadn’t answered his question!

  29

  The Jupiter Point firefighters told Josh they were taking Suzanne to the clinic to get checked for smoke inhalation. Exhaustion—an adrenaline crash—dragged at him as he steered the Super Duty across town. For the entire drive, Snowball bounced up and down in the seat next to him.

  “I don’t even know how you knew Suzanne was in trouble,” he told her. “You are by far the best dog in the world. You probably saved Suzanne’s life.”

  He shuddered at the thought of what could have happened if he hadn’t called in the chopper. Or if his parents hadn’t called to let him know Snowball was barking like crazy. “You, my friend, are getting doggie treats for the rest of your life.” He scratched between her ears until she wriggled with joy.

  For the second time that day, he walked into the clinic looking for Suzanne. As he passed the spot where he’d heard the news about Suzanne’s baby—and had acted like an idiot—he gave himself a mental reminder. Don’t be an ass, Marsh. Don’t let Mom and Pop’s fucked-up relationship ruin everything. It’s your life, buckaroo.

  Amazingly, the same nurse midwife was on duty. Ms. Johannsen scowled at him. “You again?”

  “Yes. But this time I really do have a right to be here.”

  “So now you really are Suzanne’s fiancé?”

  Well, he’d proposed on imaginary bended knee. She’d said she loved him. Crazy head over heels in love, were her exact words. But she hadn’t ever said yes. “Um…maybe?”

  She raised a skeptical eyebrow. “You’re going to have to do better than that.”

  “I love her. I want to marry her. She says she loves me. I proposed to her and she was just about to say yes when some other man dropped from the sky and took her away in a helicopter. Does that count?”

  Her mouth twitched. “I’ll ask if she wants to see you.”

  It was a big relief when she came back with a “follow me.”

  Inside the curtained space, Suzanne was sitting on the edge of a hospital bed talking to a pair of investigators. Her eyes had dark shadows under them; she looked just as exhausted as he felt. She beckoned him to her side and took his hand, urging him onto the bed next to her. He sat down gratefully. His leg was one solid ache by now. As she interlaced her fingers with his, a knot of tension dissolved inside him. She was okay. She was right here. Next to him. He wasn’t going to let anything mess with that, ever again.

  He recognized Police Chief Becker, who had tangled with Sean Marcus back in the day. Since that time, they’d grown to be good friends. The tall, imposing African-American nodded hello, then gestured for Suzanne to continue.

  “I couldn’t see who it was, just someone dressed all in black. Tall, though. Definitely a man. He seemed like he knew what he was doing.”

  “And you smelled gas?” the other investigator, who wore a Jupiter Point Fire Department t-shirt, was taking notes. “You’re sure about that?”

  “Pretty sure. Yes. It made my nose prickle, and the same thing always happens to me at the gas station.”

  “Wait a minute,” Josh broke in. “You’re saying someone deliberately set that house on fire?”

  “We’re not saying anything yet,” Becker answered. “We’re just asking questions.”

  He looked at Suzanne, then at the investigators, then back at Suzanne. “You told them who owns it now?”

  She gave a small, miserable nod, and wiped a tear away from the corner of her eye. “They’ll figure out who did it. I bet I know what happened. He realized it would cost a fortune to renovate it into vacation rentals and that he’d have to get permits and all that. He must have decided to cut his losses and get the insurance money.”

  Becker unfolded himself from the chair and rose to his full six-foot-seven-inch height. “No need to speculate, Ms. Finnegan. We’ll find out what happened. I think we have what we need. Thanks for your time.” He glanced at Josh. “How about you, Marshall? You okay?”

  “Sure,” he managed. A jolt of excruciating pain flashed through his leg. He hid his wince behind a wry smile. “Long night.”

  As soon as the officers were gone, Suzanne threw her arms around Josh and burst into tears. “I can’t believe I was with someone who would do such a thing! He knew how much I loved that house.”

  He held her close and murmured into her hair, “I’m just glad you’re okay. Do you know what it was like watching you up on that roof? Worst moments of my life.”

  She sobbed agains
t his chest for a while. He stayed with her, inhaling the smoky scent clinging to her hair, and the fresh, alive fragrance underneath that. He wanted to take her home and put her in the bathtub. Cover her in soapsuds and massage her sore muscles until she moaned. The image gave him so much pleasure that he drifted into a half-waking, half-sleeping fantasy.

  He and Suzanne, hiding under the covers, skin against naked skin, whispering secrets, with nothing to hide, nothing to fear, together forever…

  He was pulled out of his trance by the sound of her voice. “Josh! Didn’t you hear what I just said?”

  “Oh. No. Sorry, I think I fell asleep for a second.” He rolled his neck, trying to wake himself up. “What did you say?”

  She poked him in the ribs. “Remember how you proposed to me? On imaginary bended knee?”

  “Yeah, I remember.”

  “I was trying to answer you. Then I heard you snoring.”

  “Snoring? No way. This is the most important moment of my life, how could I possibly snore? Go on. Answer the question.”

  She turned to face him fully, her eyes deep and serious. He couldn’t read her expression, couldn’t predict how she’d answer. “What about everything you said before? You didn’t want marriage and family and children. You didn’t even want a home address.”

  He marshaled his thoughts, hoping they’d make sense once he laid them at her mercy. “I was running. Fooling myself. I thought all I needed was freedom and a fun time. And then I fell in love with you, Suzanne. Everything’s different now. I want you, I want a life with you. I want a family with you.”

  Tears misted her beautiful blue eyes. “Are you sure?”

  “I’m so sure. And I’m also sure that you need me, because who else is going to be the fun parent? I hate to say this, but PowerPoints aren’t any fun for kids.”

  She burst out laughing and blotted a tear from her cheek. “I see what you mean, and that’s a really good point. So I guess the answer is—”

  The curtain whipped open and Nurse Johannsen strode in.

  “Oh for Pete’s sake, I’m fine!” Suzanne rolled her eyes. “And I’m in the middle of something. Can you give us a second?”