Sunrises to Santiago: Searching for Purpose on the Camino de Santiago
Page 15
We then see Cole, the young priest in training we met on the hardest day of my journey. He enters the square with a big grin on his face.
“Hey! How are you guys?” he asks, surprised to see us. “You made it! Man, when I saw you, you had just learned you had tendinitis right? I didn’t think you guys stood a chance!”
“You were pretty ill, too, right? From the bad soup the sisters fed you? Did the charcoal pills we gave you work?” Amy asks.
“You know that is a really funny story actually. Oh! Hold on a sec,” he reaches into his pack and pulls out a folded piece of paper. “We wrote a poem about the charcoal pills. Can I read it to you?”
Amy and I look at each other with amusement. “Of course! Let’s hear your poem.”
“OK, here goes. Don’t laugh. I am a budding poet and, well, your gift of charcoal pills inspired me. You wouldn’t believe how much we talked about this,” he clears his throat. The cathedral towers above him as more pilgrims pile into the square. His big grin leaves his face and he begins in a serious tone:
“The feast of the birth, the forerunner of Christ. With the sisters full of mirth, we were being led by the Geist. At Carrion de los Condes, we feasted on the soup. The stomach then asked, donde estas? Groans, rumblings and grumblings filled the group. In Terradillos the first pilgrim dropped. Oh sisters’ soup, oh sisters’ soup, of what were you made, with what were you topped? Oh sisters’ soup, oh sisters’ soup. In Camino wrong turns are none, what is a pilgrim without pain? So we arrived with another stomach undone. Oh sisters’ soup, could we have refrained? Calzadilla de los Hermanillos. Did we find a cure? Yes, a pilgrims’ pain is known by Dios, so he took the pills, black and pure. Oh sisters’ soup, oh charcoal pills. Across las Mesetas brown, burnt, sun and shade, flats and hills. One pilgrim to another, trust is learnt. What is a pilgrim without pain? Songs and laughs. Oh little black pills. At Villa Franca they raised cain. Vomited up. Victory. Only despair kills. So onward we go pilgrims. Oh sisters’ soup, oh charcoal pills. We remember, we forget, singing hymns. Oh sisters’ soup, oh charcoal pills. So important are our pains? No Lord, let us not think so. With you we pilgrim even in the rains. Oh sisters’ soup. Oh charcoal pills. To Santiago we go.”
“Bravo!” Amy says as we clap enthusiastically. We are both grinning from ear to ear.
“Well done!” I say.
“Thanks, guys,” Cole says with a shy grin. His face has turned red.
Seeing so many people that we met these past 30 days now here in Santiago brings me a sense of closure. All of them contributed, in some small way, to the lessons I will be taking home with me.
We say our final goodbyes and head to the Pilgrim Office to get our Compostela. The official certificate of completion for the Camino de Santiago. The criterion of a bona fide pilgrim is that you have walked at least 100 kilometers. We clearly qualify for ours and get there early before the lines start to form.
We check the boxes on a quick survey that asks questions like Where did you begin? Where are you from? What are your reasons for walking the Camino?
“Passports?” The friendly person behind the counter interrupts my scribbling on the form.
I show her my pilgrim passport, now full of colorful stamps collected along the Way, and they hand me my Compostela. It is a small official-looking scroll stating that I have completed the journey. After we leave, Amy notices that they spelled her name wrong. “Do you want to go back and get a new one?” I ask.
“No, it’s fine,” she replies. “It’s only a piece of paper!”
I know what she means. The piece of paper seems empty and receiving it an anticlimactic experience. It feels as if we just went to the DMV and got a new driver’s license.
We make our way to the cathedral at about 11:30 a.m. and take our time as we enter. The cathedral is immaculate, and the first thing you see at the front door is the Tree of Jesse. This ornate carved stone column is the work of the Master Mateo. Thousands of years of tradition has had pilgrims touch the stone column and send up a prayer of thanks for safe arrival. You can see where fingers have worn holes into the stone over the centuries. This work of art has been here since 1188.2
It boggles the mind thinking about how many pilgrims have touched this very stone over time. I wonder what a typical pilgrim in the 1200s was thinking about while standing here in this very spot. Unfortunately, you are no longer permitted to touch it for historical preservation purposes. Small makeshift metal barriers keep us away from the column.
Once inside, we make our way to the tomb of St. James. We get in line and slowly make our way down some steps into the heart of the cathedral under the massive altar. I turn to the left and see a small silver casket that contains the remains of St. James himself. You are supposed to kneel before the casket and pray or say a few words. I simply think, Thank you, thank you for the lessons I have learned, and just like that, my moment with St. James is over, and we walk away.
“That silver casket thing was really small,” I whisper to Amy. “Were people tiny back in the day?”
“Maybe it was because he didn’t have his head?” Amy replies. “Who knows.”
We take our seats in an absolutely packed cathedral, which seats 1,000 souls. In front of us, we see the giant incense-burning botafumeiro, secretly hoping they will be swinging it through the air. This large silver vessel, about the size of a large vase, is held in the air by a giant rope that hangs from the very top of the church. The botafumeiro was originally used to fumigate the dirty, smelly, and sometimes disease infested pilgrims as they arrived.3
Unfortunately for us, the priests do not swing the vessel as often as they used to, and sure enough they don’t swing it during our mass. It is a moving ceremony, though, as a tiny nun begins to sing, filling the cathedral with her angelic voice. Many pilgrims are crying, resting their heads on a neighbor as they weep. Most of us are simply lost in our own thoughts, listening to the sound of her voice.
The priest gives a moving message about the journey we have all just completed and many prayers of thanks are read in a multitude of languages for the international crowd. Eventually the ceremony comes to a close, and we all pour out into the streets of Santiago. After the mass, we decide it is time to check into our much-anticipated five star hotel.
After we soak our feet in the giant pool and steam our sore muscles in the luxurious sauna, I try to sum up the experience in my mind. What did I learn on this trip? Besides the meanings of life we discovered, I think back to the rock my walking stick Dolores fell on during day four which simply stated, “It’s about the Way, not about the destination.” The parallels with life are unmistakable.
“How ya doin over there?” I ask Amy. We now sit in our insanely luxurious room talking and enjoying a bottle of nice Rioja wine in celebration. We have both been lost in thought for a while, letting the lessons from the past 30 days wash over us.
“You know in yoga, they teach that all of us have something called dharma,” she says.
“Of course you are thinking about yoga,” I joke. “What does dharma have to do with our walk?”
“Dharma is basically your duty in life. Your calling. What you are supposed to be doing,” she says.
“Your purpose,” I chime in.
“Yeah, I guess so. I will have to learn more about it when we get home. Anyway, from what I have learned, in yoga your entire life is a pilgrimage meant to help you understand and find your dharma,” she explains.
“You have to figure it out over a lifetime? It is not something you are born knowing?” I ask.
“For some it is easier of course. But yeah. The purpose of your life is to find your purpose,” she says.
“The purpose of my life is to find my purpose. That is deep,” I smile and hold up my wine. “To the Camino de Santiago.”
“To a new way of life and to enjoying moments like this no matter what tomorrow might bring,” my wise guru wife replies as our plastic hotel cups tap together.
I spent a
lot of time over the past 30 days worrying about how and if we would make it to Santiago. In the end, we did in our own way. I started this journey wanting answers to my questions. I wanted to find my purpose. But I have learned something far more valuable along the Way. Maybe the purpose is the pilgrimage. I vow to return home and enjoy the Way, enjoy the imperfect journey of life no matter the goals I am trying to achieve or changes I am trying to make. I think of all of the people we met along the Way. All searching, growing, struggling. There is no future for them, no past for me. Only the frustrating, humbling, wondrous, and beautiful now.
It is time to start walking. I finally feel like I know how.
Day 22: Galician Mountains
Day 27: Mystical Sunrise
Day 28: Wooded Trail Galicia
Day 29: The Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela
Afterword
As with all life lessons, it is easy to forget. My Live in the Moment and Enjoy the Journey mantras quickly left me while waiting in line at the airport in Santiago. My blood was boiling because of some unseen delay, and I quickly realized how hard it would be to take my newly learned lessons home with me.
Upon return to the United Sates, physically I did not improve as quickly as I had hoped. Hip stiffness I experienced on the flight home turned into intense, lasting pain. I pushed my body to its limits and have sustained some long-term injuries that remind me everyday of the Camino de Santiago and the respect it commands. My Achilles’ heel is still stiff and feels weak at times. My knee, which caused me the greatest amount of pain, ironically has improved more quickly. For the rest of my body, it has taken five months of rest and slow rehabilitation to heal and to process this experience fully. Thankfully, almost six months later, my muscles, tendons, and joints are nearly back to normal.
Mentally and spiritually, the Camino de Santiago has left a lasting change, and after my initial airport tantrum, I now sense a monumental shift in my being. Even if I have not fully processed what this means. As is the case when you return from overseas, well-meaning friends and family ask the standard question, “So how was your trip?” I honestly respond with, “Life changing,” and a select few ask for more details.
I did not plan on writing a book about this journey until some months after returning to the United States. The effort has been a great way to share the lessons learned and inspire others to do the same. It has also been a way for me to reflect and process these lessons, which are easy to forget once you come back to the real world.
The most important lesson is to live in the moment, and I’ve set the lock screen on my iPhone to remind me of this everyday. A picture of the rock I stumbled upon in Spain that read “It’s about the Way, not about the destination.” When I look at it, I remember that life is happening now, so you best enjoy the ride.
A few days after the journey ended and I returned to the United States, it was back to work and the daily grind of a predictable 8 to 5 life. It was a shock to go from the daily adventure of trekking to making copies in an office in the same week. My mind drifts back to Spain and the call of adventure almost daily. I was looking for direction, purpose, and the answer to my career crisis on the Camino de Santiago, and I did not find an exact solution. Instead, I am focusing on the life lessons I gleaned from our time in Spain to cultivate peace, from which I hope I will find my answers.
Instead of pursuing jobs working for others, I am now focused on creating my own. For me, a huge shift in thinking. For purpose, I am finding meaning in the little things. During days where I feel insignificant, I remember how important small conversations were for me and how most of the people I met on the Camino have no idea how they helped me on my path. I remember that a simple charcoal pill can lead to a poem and that small acts of kindness really do matter.
Interestingly, Amy, who was not having a career crisis, has experienced a change as well. From a deeper understanding of self, she has decided to pursue a passion for yoga and enrolled in yoga teacher training a few short weeks after our return. This has turned into a possible new career shift. The Camino helped her see that the intense demands and emotional drain of being a school psychologist were leading to mental burn out, and she is giving herself permission to pursue other interests.
Let me offer a warning to anyone thinking about taking on the Camino de Santiago themselves. This experience will change you. Whether you are looking to heal from a divorce, getting over the loss of a loved one, looking for a grand adventure, or experiencing a semi life crisis like me, the Camino de Santiago has answers if you are open to hearing its messages. They may not be what you are expecting but, they are there now, waiting for you, and the souls you will meet along the Way will be your guides.
Buen Camino
Endnotes
Introduction
1. Acts 12:1-2 (New International Version (NIV)).
2. John Brierley, A Pilgrim’s Guide to the Camino de Santiago: St. Jean – Roncesvalles – Santiago (Forres: Camino Guides, 2014), 31-32.
The Barista
1. Brierley, A Pilgrim’s Guide to the Camino de Santiago, 67.
2. Instituto Nacional de Estadística, “Navarra: Población por municipios y sexo,” http://www.ine.es.
Walking Stick
1. Pilgrim’s Welcome Office, “Statistics,” http://www.peregrinossantiago.es.
La Rioja
1. Pilgrim’s Welcome Office, “Statistics.”
2. Brierley, A Pilgrim’s Guide to the Camino de Santiago, 107.
Camino Surprises
1. Asociaciones de Amigos del Camino de Santiago: Federacion Española, “In Memorian,” http://www.caminosantiago.org.
Bed Bugs
1. Brierley, A Pilgrim’s Guide to the Camino de Santiago, 123.
2. WebMD, “Bedbugs,” http://www.webmd.com.
3. Texas A&M AgriLife Extension, “Insects in the City,” http://www.citybugs.tamu.edu.
4. Brierley, A Pilgrim’s Guide to the Camino de Santiago, 133.
5. UNESCO, “Burgos Cathedral,” http://www.whc.unesco.org.
The Meseta
1. Brierley, A Pilgrim’s Guide to the Camino de Santiago, 136.
2. Trading Economics, “Spain Unemployment Rate,” http://www.tradingeconomics.com.
3. Pilgrim’s Welcome Office, “Statistics.”
Roman Way
1. Brierley, A Pilgrim’s Guide to the Camino de Santiago, 148.
2. Lionel Casson, Travel in the Ancient World (Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 1994), 189.
3. Perseus Digital Library, “Smith’s Dictionary of Greek and Roman Antiquities (1890),” http://perseus.uchicago.edu.
4. Brierley, A Pilgrim’s Guide to the Camino de Santiago, 151.
Achilles Tendinitis
1. Brierley, A Pilgrim’s Guide to the Camino de Santiago, 163.
2. Mayo Clinic, “Diseases and Conditions: Achilles Tendinitis,” http://www.mayoclinic.org.
3. WebMD, “Fitness & Exercise: Achilles Tendon Injury,” http://www.webmd.com.
Rest
1. European Economic Snapshot, “Spain: Still in the Throes of the Great Recession,” http://www.europeansnapshot.com.
Soul of Galicia
1. Notre Dame Magazine, “History of the Camino de Santiago,” http://www.magazine.nd.edu.
2. Brierley, A Pilgrim’s Guide to the Camino de Santiago, 234.
Crowds
1. Pilgrim’s Welcome Office, “Statistics.”
2. Pilgrim’s Welcome Office, “The Compostela,” http://www.peregrinossantiago.es.
Santiago de Compostela
1. Lozano, Milan, Camino de Santiago Inolvidable (León: Everest, 1999), 235.
2. Brierley, A Pilgrim’s Guide to the Camino de Santiago, 274.
3. Brierley, A Pilgrim’s Guide to the Camino de Santiago, 274.
Bibliography
Acts 12:1-2. The Holy Bible. New International Version (NIV). Colorado Springs: Biblica, 2014.
Asociaciones de Amigos del Camino de S
antiago: Federacion Española. “In Memorian.” Accessed April 10, 2015. http://www.caminosantiago.org/cpperegrino/scriptorium/inmemoriam.asp.
Brierley, John. A Pilgrim’s Guide to the Camino de Santiago: St. Jean – Roncesvalles – Santiago. 10th ed. Forres: Camino Guides, 2014.
Casson, Lionel. Travel in the Ancient World. Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 1994.
European Economic Snapshot. “Spain: Still in the Throes of the Great Recession.” Accessed April 14, 2015. http://europeansnapshot.com/spain/.
Instituto Nacional de Estadística. “Navarra: Población por municipios y sexo.” Accessed April 11, 2015. http://www.ine.es/jaxiT3/Datos.htm?t=2884&L=0.
Lozano, Milán. Camino de Santiago Inolvidable. León: Everest, 1999.
Mayo Clinic. “Diseases and Conditions: Achilles Tendinitis.” Accessed October 23, 2015. http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/achilles-tendinitis/basics/definition/con-20024518.
Notre Dame Magazine. “History of the Camino de Santiago.” Accessed April 14, 2015. http://magazine.nd.edu/news/1297-history-of-the-camino-de-santiago/.
Perseus Digital Library. “Smith’s Dictionary of Greek and Roman Antiquities (1890).” Accessed November 1, 2014. http://perseus.uchicago.edu/Reference/antiquities.html.