Finding Peace (Finding Series Book 1)

by Love, K. J.

  “You still love him, don’t you?” I whisper.

  “It doesn’t matter, baby. I’ll call you when I get home.”

  She kisses me, turns and walks right past Dad who is staring at her as she leaves, Anne is intently watching the whole scene. My heart aches for all of them. My Grandma’s words come back to me.

  Oh, sweetie, that’s a love that’s rare. Not many find it. Some find it and lose it because they are afraid of it or because of mistakes they make. Some people settle before they ever even look for it because they think it doesn’t exist. I’ve had that with your grandfather and I know I will carry that love with me. Don’t be afraid of it. Grab hold of it and never let it go.

  I would be a shell of the person I am now if I were to lose Blake. But I know that both my Dad and Mama are married. They’ve had a lifetime come between them. I don’t know how anyone could come back from all they have been through.

  Chapter 45Kayla

  It’s a beautiful June morning as Blake and I load the last of my things into the back of his truck. My heart finally feels at peace, even though it aches for my Grandma. I’m feeling a little sad to be leaving, but I’m also excited about my future. Saying goodbye to my family is harder than I thought it would be.

  Tessa and I cried on and off last night, but we promised to always stay in touch with one another. It doesn’t matter how long we’re apart, we will always be friends and sisters. She’ll be coming down for my wedding shower and the wedding in September, so that’s not too far off. Troy and Lisa also made me promise to call them and to come and visit when we can.

  Having lunch with Dad and Grandpa yesterday was really nice. Getting to see a glimpse of the man I once knew, the loving, caring father I had as a little girl, was incredible. There is still a lot of sadness in his eyes, which I’m not sure will ever go away. Grandpa says, he misses Grandma something fierce, but he says he talks to her every day and he knows he’ll see her again.

  Her service was lovely. My Grandpa spoke of the young girl he fell in love with and the charismatic, beautiful woman she grew to be, her thirst for life, her ability to see the best in every situation, and her undying faith in God and his teachings. Then he spoke of how he sees those same traits in me. I’m humbled by the thought that anyone could compare me to her. Grandma had picked out her favorite songs, she had everything planned out to the very last detail. She left each of us a letter, but I haven’t read mine yet. She wrote on the outside of mine. For My Rose… You’ll know when the time is right. So I’m waiting for a sign to let me know when to read it.

  “You ready, baby.” Blake asks me, smiling from ear to ear.

  “Yes!” I reply with a smile just as big.

  He helps me up into the truck, walks around and gets in on his side. We wave through the front window, then back out onto the road, to begin our life together.

  Looking out the window, in the side mirror, as my home gets smaller and smaller, memories flood back to me, some good, some bad, but they all helped me to grow into the person I am today. Once I can no longer see the house, I look at Blake. He doesn’t look at me, but a sexy smile graces his handsome face.

  “What’s that smile for?”

  Glancing at me, he gives me a questioning look.

  “Huh?”

  “That smile on your face. What’s that for?”

  “I’m just so damn proud of you. You amaze me with your strength and your willingness to forgive. Plus, I just can’t believe this is really, finally, happening.”

  “Well, believe it! You’re so stuck with me now, buddy.”

  “Baby, I wouldn’t have it any other way. My life would be empty without you.”

  After blowing him a kiss, I look out my window, thinking about my parents. Mama, didn’t stay for Grandma’s funeral. I’m not sure what happened. Even when she called me she wouldn’t talk about it. She just said I had Dad now and she knew I was in good hands. However, I know there’s more to the story.

  “What’s bothering you, Kayla?”

  Blake pulls me out of my thoughts.

  “Oh, nothing. I’m fine. Great even.” I say with a forced smile.

  “You can’t fool me. I can tell when you are worried about something. That leg of yours starts bouncing, causing my truck to bounce and you bite those beautiful lips of yours. It’s all very distracting.” He says shaking his head with a laugh.

  Blowing out a breath, I realize he is right. My leg is going crazy and I wasn’t even aware of it.

  “It’s my parents, Blake. They are still in love with one another, I just know it. My life is so perfect now, I want theirs to be too. You know, I told you everything that Dad said about what happened, the mistakes he made and wishes he hadn’t. He’s still just so sad and lost.”

  “Kayla, they are both adults, not to mention married to other people, and they chose their lives already.”

  “But, Blake, I think about you, about knowing that you were out there somewhere and I couldn’t be with you, the thought is terrifying. They deserve to be happy.”

  “That would, never in a million years, happen. Baby, leave it alone. I know you love Anne, so do you want to see her get hurt?”

  “I do love Anne and I love Frank. But Dad has never shown Anne the love that he did Mama. And Mama has always been up front with Frank. He knows she still has feelings for Dad. Is it fair to any of them to be in love with one person and married to another?”

  “Exactly, they are married. Leave it alone, honey. We are starting our life together now. Things are finally peaceful for us. Just let it go. You don’t want to be responsible for destroying two marriages.”

  “Have you forgotten that I was engaged when we met?”

  “No, I have not forgotten. I wish I could though. Don’t even compare the two. You didn’t love him, you just didn’t want to hur…”

  He stops and looks at me with his lips pursed.

  “I really don’t like it when I have to say you’re right.”

  Laughing, I look at him and smile.

  “Well, Mr. Sexy get used to it cause I’m sure that will happen a lot in our lives. I’ll always be right. They deserve to be together, Blake. Everybody knows it.”

  “Kayla, he cheated on her. That’s something a lot of people can never get past. Who’s to say she would ever want to go back to Andrew?”

  “I can see it in both of their eyes.”

  “Let them figure it out, baby. You have a wedding to plan and a house to decorate.”

  “Okay, Okay.”

  “See, I like that answer much better.”

  Rolling my eyes, I say, “Well, that one you shouldn’t get used to.”

  He laughs so hard that I can’t help, but laugh with him. That sound fills my soul with joy. My heart is finally in one piece and happy.

  “Slide over here, I need to be able to touch you.”

  “Hmm. I’m not sure that’s safe. You need to concentrate.”

  “I can concentrate a lot better with you over here.”

  Sliding over next to him, he puts his arm on the back of the bench seat, so I curl into his side. This long ride just got so much better.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  “Baby! Kayla, wake up. I’ve got something to show you.”

  Bolting up, I blink my eyes a few times.

  “Where are we?”

  “Our house.”

  “It looks so different from the last time I was here.”

  “I finally got all the trees down that we needed removed and the landscapers came.”

  “Blake, it’s beyond beautiful.”

  He’s beaming with pride. “Do you really like it?”

  “Oh, honey. I love it. It looks completely finished.”

  “Well, the outside is.”

  The wrap around porch is a dream, complete with a porch swing. It’s two stories with three dormer windows on the second floor on the front. There is an unattached two car garage on the right side of the house with a storage room over it. Its
country at its finest, fitting the area perfectly. Knowing that the view from the back will be just as beautiful as the front, I start to walk in that direction, but Blake grabs my arm.

  “Wait, I want to show you something.”

  “I want to see the view of the pond from the back.”

  “We’ll see it. This way first, okay?”

  Smiling at him, I jump up and down a little with excitement. He laughs at me and the sound makes my heart flutter.

  “Okay.”

  Taking my hand, he leads me to a group of trees in the back that are sitting over to the left of the house. When I finally realize what it is that he is showing me, I get choked up.

  “Is that what I think it is?”

  Grinning like a Cheshire cat, he shakes his head yes.

  “How did you get it?”

  “I bought it.”

  “But how did you get them to sell it?”

  “I heard they were closing the place, so I went and asked them. Luckily for me, once I shared our story with them, they were happy to sell it to me.”

  Throwing my arms around his neck, I kiss him over and over.

  “It’s perfect, everything is perfect. Thank you.”

  “Wow! I could have just given you this and forgotten about the house.”

  I slap him. “Oh, no, buddy. We had to have a place to live.”

  Walking over, I take a closer look. Nestled under three trees, that make a semi-circle, sits our bench. It’s facing the pond that is on the back of the property. There is a cobblestone path that starts out wide and then ends in an even wider circle. At the end, the bench sits right behind a fountain that is in the center of the cobblestone circle. There are flower beds on either side and below the trees surrounding the bench. The sound of the water is extremely peaceful.

  “That bench is where it all started for us. It was only right that it be here at our home.” Blake says, looking at me with so much love in his eyes.

  Taking a seat, I pat the spot beside me.

  “Come sit with me.”

  Walking over, he sits down and then wraps me in his arms.

  “I can see us sitting here, even when we are old. Watching our grandchildren play around us.”

  “Me too. I’m so happy you agreed to marry me.”

  “I’m so happy you asked.”

  We sit, talk about our future, the plans for the house, wedding details, and when we can finally move into this beautiful home. I’ve never been so happy in my whole life.

  Chapter 46Kayla

  September 9, 1989

  With the dawning of this new day, it feels like the beginning of a new life for me. The future is mine to take, leaving behind my past and moving forward from here. Blake gave this to me. He showed me what my past kept from me. Because of him, and for him, I move forward lighter and happier than I've ever been.

  “Kayla, where are you?”

  “I’m in here, Mama.”

  Nervous does not even begin to describe what I’m feeling right now. It’s my wedding day and although I have no doubt in my mind about the man I am marrying, I’m afraid something will get messed up. I want this day to be perfect for both of us.

  We decided to change the venue, well, I decided to change the venue. We had planned on a beach wedding, but after I saw our house and the beautiful views it wasn’t hard for me to convince Blake to have the wedding here.

  I’m in one of the spare bedrooms looking out over the backyard, where my Mom, Lisa, and Maggie have turned it into a wonderland. Twinkling lights, chairs with fabric draped over them lined up in rows, it’s a dream land. The ceremony is being held by the pond, with the sunset as our backdrop. Blake and I have timed it down to the minute. The sunsets here are just as beautiful as they are on the lake. The ceremony will be at seven thirty just as the sun starts to set.

  Blake constructed an arbor and, like everything Blake sets out to do, it is above anything I could have imagined. He used a natural wood with a rustic feel and he has hand carved our names and today’s date across the front and just below that it says… The Day We Became One. It’s adorned with purple roses and turquoise flowers. Our wedding colors.

  The girls are wearing purple and the guys are wearing turquoise. The girls have purple and turquoise bouquets and the guys have purple boutonnieres.

  Blake has both colors on, as do I. My shoes are purple and I have both colors in my bouquet. The colors look beautiful against the water.

  “Kayla, it’s time to put your gown on.”

  Turning I see, Mama, Tessa, Lisa, and Maggie all standing there. Smiling at them as I walk over to the bed, where my shoes and other accessories lay. They are treating me like a princess as they dress me and fuss over every little detail. I’ve been fluffed, puffed, powdered, and polished to death.

  “Kayla, you look like a princess.” Tessa says with tears in her eyes.

  My dress is an off white gown, with long lace sleeves, a sweetheart neckline, with a Basque waistline and a ball gown silhouette. The bodice is fitted and it’s embellished with intricate beading, which sparkles when the light hits it. My hair is partially held up with a silver clasp that is adorned with pearls. Soft curls fall down around my face and back.

  “Here, sweetie. It’s you Grandma’s handkerchief.” Mama says, trying to hand it to me.

  “Can you wrap it around my bouquet, Mama?”

  “Sure. That’s a good idea.”

  She walks over to where the bouquet is, just as there is a knock on the door.

  “Come in.” I say.

  My Dad sticks his head in.

  “I’ve got a delivery from the groom.”

  “Come in, Dad.”

  He walks in and takes in a deep breath and holds it. Tearing up, he looks at me with pride and love in his eyes.

  “I’ve never seen anything as beautiful as you.”

  His eyes move to Mama. “Well, almost never.” She never turns to meet his gaze. “Blake will be lucky if he can get through his vows.”

  “Thank you, Daddy. You don’t look so bad yourself.” I say to him.

  Mama walks back over to me as Dad stands in front of me.

  “I put the handkerchief around the bouquet, Kayla. I’m going to go find Frank. I love you sweetie.”

  Mama kisses me on the cheek, then walks to the door. Dad watches her as she leaves. Then turns back to me.

  “Here, honey. This is from Blake.”

  He hands me a small box, then rushes for the door.

  “Dad, wait! I have a gift for Blake.”

  “Uh, I’ll be right back.”

  With that, he leaves, closing the door behind him. Strange. Looking at the box I see a small note attached to it. Unfolding it reminds me of all the letters I have received from Blake over the months.

  Kayla Rose,

  The love of my life. I searched high and low for the perfect gift for you. Nothing I thought of seemed like enough to match the significance of this day, the day you become my wife. This is the best that I could come up with. I promise to add to it as the years go by. I love you Kayla Rose Jameson soon to be McGinnis. I’m counting down the minutes till I see you walking toward me. I’ll be the guy with the really goofy grin on his face and sappy tears in his eyes.

  Your future husband,

  Blake

  Opening the small box I see a charm bracelet. On closer examination, I look at each charm. My man, such a romantic. There are three charms attached. An eight ball, to represent him getting on the pool table and singing to me to get my attention. Laughing to myself, it’s so Blake. Every time I look at that eight ball, I’ll see him standing on that pool table looking down at me and singing his heart out. Then there is a small bench, of course, to represent our bench, where we had our conversation and first kiss. Now, that is a great memory. And last but not least, a heart with today’s date on it, our wedding date. A date that will always be in my heart. God, I love this man.

  “Tessa, see if you can find my dad.”

 
“Sure.” She walks out the door.

  “Don’t you dare cry and mess up your make-up.” Maggie says giving me a wink.

  “Your son is absolutely the best. Have you seen this?” I say holding the bracelet up in my hand.

  She smiles at me and walks over to where I’m standing.

  “Yes. He showed it to me. I must say, I know my son well. I’ve always known that he has a good heart, but you, my dear, bring out the absolute best in him. I’m so glad that you found each other.”

  “Thank you, Maggie. Me too.”

  “Let me see this.” Lisa says walking over.

  Just then Tessa walks back in. “He and your mom are in a deep discussion in the hallway. I didn’t want to interrupt them. They both seem pretty upset.”

  Great. Please don’t do this the day of my wedding.

  “Maggie, can you take Blake his gift?”

  “I’d be happy to honey.”

  I hand her a note and the large frame that is covered in brown paper that I wrote different things that I love about him on. Lisa continues to go on and on about my bracelet.

  “Lisa, can you help me with my necklace?”

  Handing Lisa my heart necklace with the date Blake and I met on it, she carefully puts it around my neck.

  “I think you’re ready.”

  “Checklist!” Tessa shouts.

  “Something old, my Grandma’s handkerchief. Something blue, my garter, University of Carolina blue to surprise Blake, his favorite college team. Something new, my bracelet. Can you put it on me, Tessa?”

  “Chick, do you even need to ask? You know I expect you to do all of this for me when Asher and I get married.”

  “Oh. My. God. Did he ask you?”

  “Pssh. No way girl. But he will. Let me finish college first.”

  “You know, I’ll be there for you, when it’s time.”

  “Wait! Something borrowed? We don’t have anything borrowed.” Tessa says in a panic.

  The door opens and I’m panicking. Mama looks like she’s been crying, but when she sees me she knows that something is wrong with me.