Let It Be Me

by Barbara Speak

  "This is Magnus. He's one of my prized stock." I raised my arm to pet him but apparently moved too fast because the horse's head flew up, jerking Canyon's arm along with it while scaring me half to death. "You have to move slower around horses. They spook easily."

  "Now you tell me."

  He pulled the rope back down and Magnus's head came down with it.

  "Try again, but this time just hold your hand out and let him come to you." I didn't move. "Come on. He won't bite."

  I sneered at Canyon but did as he said.

  This time I put my arm straight out, palm facing down and waited. When Magnus didn't raise his head again I moved my hand a little closer, inch-by-inch until I could feel his breath across my knuckles.

  "It's safe to touch him, just go slow."

  I flipped my hand over and lifted my arm to pet him behind his ear first. I laughed when it twitched from side to side.

  "See, he likes you."

  "That's to be determined."

  "Horses are pretty easy to read. If their ears go back, look out. Other than that it's all good. Just always remember, they are animals and think like one. Don't talk to them like they can understand you. Use simple commands and you will be good to go. Oh, and don't walk behind them unless you are at a safe distance if they kick."

  "You make it sound so easy," I said sarcastically.

  Canyon responded as if my sarcasm went unnoticed. "It really is. They are my pride and joy."

  "Why do you have so many?"

  He didn't want to answer this either and I didn't understand. Why was this a secret? Instead of letting him off the hook and giving him an out, I chose to continue petting Magnuses' head and wait.

  Several deep breaths later came, "I am trying to build the best damn quarter horse this world has ever seen."

  "WHAT?" I didn't think before I let that blurt out of my mouth. It was the last thing I expected him to say so it caught me off-guard.

  Canyon looked down to the ground and kicked the dirt out from under his shoe before he lifted his head again to look at me. One glance was all I got before he started grabbing things and putting them on Magnus.

  He took the strappy thing off of his head and replaced it with a metal bar that he shoved in his mouth.

  "Ouch."

  "Not ouch," he snapped. "This is a bit and it's the part of the bridle that allows the rider to steer."

  He had to be bipolar. I couldn't think of anything else that would explain his mood swings. He lifted what I now knew was called a bridle up and tucked Magnuses' ears under the leather strap. Next he snapped two buckles to the metal rings on either side of the horse’s mouth which I also learned were reins. Once he tied them to the piece of wood he walked over to the pile I had dropped on the ground and started picking up blankets and placing them on his back before finally putting the saddle on top of them.

  I thought when he was done with that he might say something but instead he reached under Magnuses' belly and came back with a belt that he attached under the foot holder. He tugged on it so hard I thought the poor horse might not be able to breathe. I figured that might be the icebreaker I needed.

  "Can he breathe with his belt so tight?"

  "It's a girth strap and yes."

  No, he didn't look at me but his tone was at least better.

  Canyon tugged on the saddle confirming it was good and tight before he untied the reins and put his foot in the thing hanging down to pull himself up on top of Magnus. I looked up at him wondering what I was supposed to do when he said, "Let's go."

  Of course I had no idea what that meant for me so I stood there and stared at him waiting for more direction.

  "That means come here so I can pull you up."

  "No."

  The look of shock was priceless but I was too mad to enjoy it. If he thought I wanted to subject myself to any more of his pissy mood he was crazier than I thought.

  "What do you mean no?"

  "It's a simple word to understand, crab ass."

  With one blink his leg was swinging back over the horse and Canyon was standing in front of me.

  "Look, I don't know you. There are things I'm not comfortable talking about and after last night I thought you of all people could respect that."

  "I can and I do but you don't have to be rude about it."

  "Being quiet isn't the same thing as rude."

  "You're right about that, there's a definite difference."

  "Let's just go. I have to check on everything before it gets dark."

  "You still want me to come with you?"

  "Would you rather go home?"

  "No."

  "Then come on."

  Canyon was up on top of Magnus again and holding his hand out for me to take seconds later.

  "Put your foot in the stirrup and let me pull you up, okay?" he barked, pointing to the foot holder.

  I walked over and then took one look at the stirrup.

  "Will you hold him still?"

  "Of course I will."

  I didn't know if I could believe him or not but true to his word, Magnus stayed put while I lifted my leg to get my foot inside of it while Canyon pulled me up. The problem was I had no idea where I was supposed to go from there.

  "What are you waiting for?"

  "Front or back?"

  "Back. I can't trust you in front yet."

  I wasn't in the mood to argue standing on the side of a gigantic horse. I flung my right leg around and landed myself on Magnus's butt, right behind the saddle.

  "You comfortable?"

  "At least there's blankets back here."

  "Good. Okay, now put your arms around my waist and hold on. We don't have as much time as I thought we were going to have."

  As soon as my hands found each other in front of Canyon, I gripped them together with all of my might.

  "Now, let's go have some fun."

  Nothing at that point seemed like something I would ever call fun. I was scared out of my mind.

  Chapter 6

  I have never been more wrong. When Canyon kicked and the horse took off, I wanted to piss my pants, but Magnus was amazing. It took about ten seconds for me to settle down, let my hair loose, and enjoy it blowing in the wind as we raced through the open land. As far as my eyes could see there were mountains of various sizes. Some were still capped with snow from the hard winter I learned they had as Canyon explained it to me. His mood had changed into something I could enjoy.

  "Over there is the creek I grew up swimming in. This is where I got my first kiss from Maggie Greenwood. Right there was where I got thrown for the first time."

  He pointed in so many directions, teaching me all about what it was like growing up out here. It was everything I could ever want for Shelby and for the first time, I found something positive about our move. But the last bit of information didn't sit right.

  "Thrown?"

  "Yeah, if you piss off the wrong horse you'll go flying."

  "Did you get hurt?"

  "Hell yeah I did, but it started my love for bull riding."

  We had slowed down to a walk with Magnus and what Canyon said had me wanting to jump off just so I could see his face and determine if he was joking or telling me the truth.

  "You got awful quiet back there."

  He turned in the saddle to look at me and it was then I got my answer. He was smiling.

  "That's not funny. I thought you were serious."

  "What makes you think I'm not?"

  That smile only got bigger.

  "Your shit-eating grin."

  "Well, I can assure you, darlin’, that I wouldn't be grinning if I was eating shit."

  "You know what I mean."

  "If you think I'm lying come with me Friday night."

  "To where?"

  "Billings. I have a few friends that will be there I want to see."

  "I'm not sure."

  "Scared?"

  "No. I just don't know you and where ever Billings is probably far away.
"

  "What? You think I would try to do something? Don't flatter yourself, doll, I'm good on my own. I don't need to force anyone."

  He had kicked Magnus to speed up and soon we were running again, not giving me a chance to explain what I meant. Hell, he had no idea how much I appreciated what he said. The last thing I wanted was for him to get the wrong idea from me.

  A few minutes later we were entering a wooded tree line. Canyon bent forward and said, “Keep your head down."

  Branches were just over us and I had no idea why were even going through this in the first place.

  "Damn it!"

  A branch had caught on to my hair and pulled it so hard it broke off and was stuck. I let go of my other hand to yank it out but Canyon quickly grabbed ahold of it and put it back where it was.

  "Hold on to me, we're going to go down a ravine. When the trees break lean back fast."

  No sooner did he say it, it happened.

  "Holy shit!"

  Canyon was practically laying on me as we went straight down. I was petrified.

  "It will be okay, just stay back."

  Too freaked to respond, I did the only thing I could. I closed my eyes and prayed for forgiveness.

  "It's over. You can sit up."

  "Are you sure?"

  I hadn't moved yet but I could feel that we were on flat ground again. When I opened my eyes we were in a whole new world. If I thought it was scary going down that hill I didn't know what fear of falling truly meant.

  "Isn't it amazing?"

  His voice sounded so proud in that moment. Like he was sharing a piece of heaven with me and by all rights I had to agree.

  We were on a bluff overlooking the flat lands far below us and the mountains above. As if the view wasn't amazing enough, Canyon pointed down to the left and when I followed his arm, I saw hundreds of horses grazing.

  "Oh my God! They're beautiful!"

  "Aren't they?"

  We both sat there and stared while time became nothing.

  "Are those yours too?"

  "No, those right there are mustangs."

  "What does that mean?"

  "It means they belong to no one. They're wild."

  Something spooked them bringing all of their heads up to listen.

  I dropped my voice to a whisper. "Did we do that?"

  "No. They can hear better than we can. Something else has got their attention."

  All of a sudden a huge brown horse with black hair stood up on its back legs and let out a sound that could be heard off the rocks around us, before it took off followed by the rest of them. If I thought watching them eat was beautiful I can't come up with a word to describe the entire group running at full speed.

  Magnus raised his head and yelled back something, making me laugh.

  "Is he talking to them?"

  "He was one of them."

  "What? How?"

  "When I started the business up again I had nothing. There was no way I could afford to buy breeding stock. I had no choice. The bank was coming after the ranch unless I could show that I could manage to still turn a profit."

  He had finally opened up a little and the last thing I wanted to do was load him down with questions. Even if I barely understood anything he was saying to me.

  "So you caught one?"

  "No, darlin’, I caught six."

  My mouth fell open. I guess my hands falling to my sides was a dead giveaway because Canyon whipped around to look at me.

  "By yourself?"

  "My buddy Tanner helped, but yeah."

  "How did you do it? They're wild. Wait, Magnus was one? That's not possible. He's the sweetest horse ever."

  "Slow down. To answer your question, he was my first. I have been breaking in horses my whole life." He started to laugh. "Can't say I ever broke a mustang before him but I was desperate at the time."

  "You don't have to answer this if you don't want to but how old are you?"

  "Finally! I have been waiting for this conversation."

  "Really? Why?"

  “I'm twenty-two."

  "And why were you waiting for me to ask?"

  "’Cause I have been dying to know how old you are but the last thing I needed was you thinking I wanted to know cause I was interested."

  "Well then why do you care?"

  "I don't know. I guess there's just something about you that makes you seem older."

  "I'm seventeen. My birthday is in June."

  "I knew you had to be around that if you're still in school. What I don’t get is what could have gone so wrong that life gave you that shit head for a dad?"

  I didn't answer at first and then felt slightly guilty for being the only one not willing to open up a little.

  "My dad died when I was four and my mom married John not long after. He hates me, that's all there is to it. Shelby came along and gave him his happy little family and I am what stands in the way."

  Canyon didn't have much to say. In fact nothing came out. He opened his mouth several times but then closed it again.

  "Don't worry about me. I only have two more months and then I'm out of here."

  "Well, that's a shame. What happens in—oh, you turn eighteen. That makes sense. Where would you go, though? Back where you came from?"

  It was a valid question and deserved an answer. Unfortunately, I hadn't thought one through yet.

  "I don't really know."

  "Well then maybe you just might change your mind about Friday. Living a little is never a bad thing and if you're only going to be here for the next eight weeks we have to get on it."

  "What's got you so hell-bent on me going with you?"

  Canyon turned Magnus around and started to head for the hill. I wrapped my arms back around him preparing myself when I finally heard him answer me just before we hit the trees.

  "Because, Ari, having you around just makes things seem better."

  I wanted to smile but there was no way having your life flash before your closed eyes was making that a possibility. I was sure to tuck my head but going up was almost worse than coming down. It felt like at any moment I was going to slip off the back. I felt Canyon's hand cover the clasp of my own, securing my safety and once again, it happened. He was protecting me.

  When we finally came to the top and were clear of the tree line, I spoke. "I'll go Friday if you really want me to."

  All his teeth became visible as he grinned from ear to ear turning around to face me. "If that's the case we need to work our asses off today and tomorrow."

  "Why? What difference does that make?"

  "Well, judging by your choice of clothing my guess is you don't have boots or a hat."

  "Oh, no you don't. I am not a Barbie doll you can dress up."

  "If you plan to go to one of the country’s biggest PBR events with me, woman, you will adorn a respectable hat. The boots I will have a little give on."

  With that, he kicked Magnus again and we were off. Running as fast as I think a horse can go, I felt free. Like nothing mattered in that moment but where I was.

  A couple of fields over Canyon pointed out a chunk of wire fence that wasn't standing up like it was supposed to be. He turned Magnus and headed us over to look at it. Clearly tools were necessary and we had none which raised the question, "Don't you need..."

  "Hop down."

  "How do you expect me to do that?"

  "Hold onto me, lean forward, swing your leg over and slide down."

  "I'll fall!"

  "No, you won't. Now quit being a baby and just do it."

  I did and of course he was right again. Once my feet were on flat ground a whole new feeling took over. I realized just how sore I was going to be. Squatting down to stretch my muscles felt good until Canyon started laughing.

  "You got to be kidding me? You're sore already?"

  I gave him a dirty look but that was all I had. He was right. I was completely out of shape.

  "Why are we here? Don't we need to get tools?"

>   Canyon started putting on gloves without answering me but that was okay because I had another question that I wanted answered more.

  "Where the hell did you get gloves?"

  "They were in my pocket."

  "Bull. Your pants don't have room for gloves."

  "So you've been checking me out again?"

  "No! I just mean I think I would have noticed gloves."

  He walked away from me toward the fence still laughing. "You were checking me out. You were checking me out."

  "If you sing that one more time…"

  "You'll what?"

  "I'll...I'll... I don't know, but just stop, okay?"

  He laughed at me, giving off that amazing smile before he said, "I'll stop teasing ya. But, Ari, you need to smile more and pull the serious stick out of your ass."

  He had me ready to kill him.

  "Just because I don't walk around smiling all the time doesn't mean anything. And hell, if you want to know the truth, I smile when it's something worth smiling about."

  Canyon put his foot on the bottom line of wire holding it to the ground and then pulled the top up over the post and wrapped it making the three rows flow like they had never been damaged.

  Gloves were needed due to the fact there were pointy things all over it.

  "That fence seriously holds in horses? You would think they could just jump over it."

  "Glad to see you dropped the attitude. These barbs intimidate them. They don't think to jump unless they are trained too."

  I didn’t want to argue anymore so I stuck to the answering him nicely. "Hmm, that seems like simple logic."

  "Not everything in the world is complicated."

  If he only knew.

  "So it's fixed?"

  "For now this will do but I need to come back and secure the wire better." He walked back toward me smiling again. "Now, are you ready for the best part?"

  "I don't know. Are you being serious or am I going to be shoveling crap?"

  "Well, you will be doing a little of that too but you can't get into the stalls unless the horses are out of them, right?"

  Imagining all of the horses getting to run free had me excited to get back.

  "So can we go do that now?"

  "There's that smile I was talking about."

  "Like I told you, when it's worth it."