Let It Be Me

by Barbara Speak

  "What man wants to stay on a horse when he could have a two thousand pound bull between his legs?"

  "Only the wimpy ones, I guess."

  "You got that right."

  He wrapped his arm over my shoulder and pulled me in for a kiss. I loved the taste of him. Whether he gave me a simple peck or we were making out, the taste never changed. I craved him.

  I looked down at Shelby after we broke away expecting her to say, "Eeewww" but instead caught her beaming smile.

  Eventually, Shelby and I were forced to join the waiting fans in our seats as the rodeo was getting ready to start. Canyon held my hand as he walked us to the hall door squeezing it periodically just so I would look over at him.

  "I love your eyes."

  "Where did that come from?"

  "I don't know. I was just remembering the fire in them the first time I saw you."

  "That seems like forever ago."

  "I wouldn't trade a minute of it."

  We reached the door to the hall and it was time to say goodbye. Shelby hugged onto his leg before letting go and said, "Don't die."

  "WHAT?"

  "SHELBY!"

  "What? I don't want him to die."

  "He's not going to die and we really need to work on that honesty thing with you, geez."

  Canyon laughed then kissed me one last time before he rubbed the top of Shelby's head and started walking away. "I won't die just for you, Shelby girl!"

  "Sounds good!" she yelled back before the door closed and we were on our way.

  When we got to our seats, Shelby never stopped with the questions.

  "What comes first? Is it the barrel racing?"

  "I want to see little kids like me. Are any going to be here doing stuff?"

  "When is it Canyon's turn?"

  "What's a bronco? Does that mean all boy horses?"

  "Do girls compete too?"

  "When does the bull riding start?"

  "That was cool but I'm ready to see Canyon."

  "That was dumb."

  "When is Canyon going to ride?"

  "I DON'T KNOW!"

  She wore my patience out after two hours of nonstop questions. By the third I had lost it.

  "I'm hungry."

  "I'm thirsty."

  "I need to go the bathroom."

  Finally, the bull riding started. It was the last event of the night and as much as I enjoyed watching everything else, I too was ready for Canyon. My nerves had gone into overdrive as all the cowboys lined the wall behind the metal bars bringing me back to the first time Canyon made it obvious he wanted me around. That seemed like forever ago too.

  "I see him!"

  I looked but couldn't find him. "Where?"

  "Right there."

  She was pointing but I still only saw the silhouettes of the men. Shelby began waving with a huge smile on her face as I worked like crazy to spot him and then I spotted him. Dressed in a black cowboy hat and his red plaid shirt, he looked sexier than ever waving back at Shelby.

  "Do you see him now?"

  "Yeah, I can see him."

  He pulled his hat off with his right hand and with his left he blew me a kiss. I never felt as adored as I did when I was with him. I knew this was a big moment for him and I just prayed hard it went as good as he hoped it would.

  Rider after rider were thrown. The bulls they stocked for this event were meaner than crap. Shelby covered her eyes countless times when riders would fall either underneath the bull or near their feet. By the time it was Canyon's turn, only two men had stayed on for the full eight seconds. Shelby was sitting on the edge of her seat bouncing her right leg, mimicking every move I made.

  "Are you ready for this?"

  "I'm scared."

  I grabbed her right hand with my left and squeezed.

  "He's a pro. This will be amazing, we just have to watch and see."

  There was a problem with his strap or something because it was taking longer than it should. All of a sudden the bull started thrashing around in the pen. I stood up hoping to be able to see better and Shelby followed.

  "What's going on?"

  "I don't know."

  The bull was kicking with everything he had, trapped inside the small space. I watched Canyon get yanked from him while the bull was still going berserk.

  The announcer came on the loud speaker and explained that they would be trading out Canyon's bull. He had apparently turned himself around inside the holding area. The gate opened and out came one very pissed off bull without a rider kicking at anything that came near him.

  After he was done throwing his temper tantrum he slowly walked through the open passage bulls used to leave, with two men in orange shirts on either side ready to close him in. It took five more minutes before Canyon was sitting on another bull. This one was named Gun Slinger.

  "Is it going to happen now?"

  "If nothing else goes wrong it is."

  Again, Canyon pulled on the strap, but this time he followed by tapping the gate and grabbing on to it. He was ready and I was scared to death.

  The door flew open and out came Gun Slinger crazier than the bull before him. Canyon moved with every turn and kick the bull threw. Just as Chett had said, he could predict what was coming and it was beautiful to watch. The buzzer went off letting us know he had made it and the crowd went wild. Shelby stood up clapping which was absolutely priceless to see the pride in her eyes as Canyon jumped off the bull.

  I heard the man seated next to me gasp, drawing my attention back to Canyon, when I noticed something was wrong. He was jumping beside the bull with each move it made, while at the same time three men were on the other side grabbing at the rope. It was stuck and the longer it took, the more anxious I became.

  The bull took one strong turn, throwing his back end to the right taking Canyon with him, all the while stripping the three men helping Canyon from being able to do anything. His arm looked like it could be ripped off the way he was getting swung around. Five more guys were there to replace the three that fell immediately doing everything they could to distract the bull. Thank God it worked. Another man in an orange shirt reached up with a knife and cut the rope letting Canyon free.

  Gun Slinger went charging after two of the men with flags while four others in orange pulled Canyon from the dirt and out of the riding area.

  He wasn't moving.

  I grabbed Shelby's hand, yanked her out of her chair and practically drug her down the steps. Once we were in the hall I let go and screamed, "Follow me!"

  I ran down the hall, through the door, down more stairs ending up on the dirt floor where everyone was either waiting for their turn or hanging out.

  I looked back to make sure Shelby was still with me and then started pushing through people again. When I couldn't find him, I started asking. When they didn't have an answer, I started screaming his name. Clearly someone had to know where the man who just got dragged off unconscious would be located.

  "Ma’am, he's with the medic. Go down the hall and make your first left."

  I didn't turn to even see who was talking, I simply said, "Thank you" as I followed the path he gave me.

  We reached the door when Shelby grabbed my hand and pulled me to stop.

  "Is he dead, Arianna?"

  "No, honey, he's not dead. He's just really hurt I bet."

  "Are you sure?"

  "Yes, Canyon's going to be fine."

  Just then the door opened almost hitting us as a man walked out. "I'm sorry, ladies, hope I didn't get you with that door. Is there something I help you with?"

  "Is Canyon in there?"

  He took his hat off and then smiled.

  "You bet he is and I know good and well one look at y’all’s faces is just what he needs right now. Follow me."

  We walked through the door and followed him back to a room with nothing but a gurney and Canyon Michaels.

  "Canyon!"

  Shelby tore across the space and was wrapping her arms around him instantly
. I, on the other hand, was trying to get my emotions under control. Tears were falling from my face but at the same time I wanted to kill him with my bare hands. He kissed Shelby on the forehead and then looked at me.

  "Come here, darlin'."

  I stood in the same spot unable to move. Canyon let go of Shelby and stood from the bed, closing the space between us. Once he was in front of me his left hand lifted my chin allowing me to feel the calloused fingertips I had become all too familiar with.

  "Look at me."

  I had closed my eyes trying to remember why falling in love with him was a bad idea. But no matter how I looked at it, the thought of losing him kept flashing before me and it was something I no longer thought I could take.

  "Hey, look at me. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

  I opened my eyes and looked up into his. His genuine concern for me made no sense because I was the one that was scared to death for him.

  "Are you really okay?"

  "Yeah, I'm good. In fact I'm great."

  "How? You were stuck, Canyon! Your body was thrown around like a damn rag doll. You weren't moving!"

  "This isn't my first rodeo, darlin'. I've been through plenty worse. This is all just part of the ride."

  "Then I hate the ride."

  "Don't say that. This is what it's about. I'm going to get hurt, it comes with the territory but you have to understand, this is where I belong."

  I didn't know anymore how I could understand it and that bothered me even more. I pushed him to do this. Why couldn't I be supportive? It should have been easy but it was the hardest lie I've ever told.

  "You're right. And heck, you might win tonight."

  "I will, no questions about that."

  “Cocky much?"

  "Always when it comes to riding." His smile stretched to his eyes. He was in his element and I had to be there for him like I promised. Even if that came with my new found hatred for bull riding.

  He won, just like he said. He even lined up rodeos every weekend after that for the next month out. Shelby and I stayed off to the side while we watched as he talked to all of the big dogs running the show.

  "You're not really happy for him, are you?"

  I looked at Shelby and wondered if I could tell her the truth or if I should protect her from worrying. "I just got scared is all. Believe me, he's on top of the world and for that I'm happy."

  "You like him a lot, I can tell."

  "I'm trying my best not to but sometimes the heart wants what it wants."

  The ride home was spent listening to Canyon go on and on about getting back into the PBR. It was going to take some work but he was ready. All of his coming events were PBR sanctioned which meant that he would need to bring in twenty-five hundred dollars from those events for his application to qualify. It was doable if he won all of them and listening to him, he had no doubts he would do it.

  We took Shelby home but Canyon wanted me to stay with him again. All that talk about him riding made me really want my own bed but I couldn't tell him that without an explanation, so instead I went with him. We made it to the couch in his family room cuddling and were watching TV before he called me out.

  "What is it?"

  "What is what?"

  "Don't play stupid, you've been extra quiet. Something's bothering you, just say it."

  "Fine, if you want the truth here it is. I don't get it. We walked in tonight and all you talked about was your love of the rodeo. The simple pleasure that came from it and then everything switched over to being about the PBR. I wanted you to be happy but now you just seem like you're on a mission to kill yourself and I don't understand. Why is this more important than anything else for you to do?"

  He sat up and swung his legs around so his feet could hit the floor. Looking up at the picture of him and his mother he said, "The quarter horse business was for my mom. She started it all. She was the one with all the money when they got married. Then things changed after she had me. My dad started making decisions with his brother that she didn't like but he took her vote away from her. They started making and building a brand that soon became recognized by some of the top buyers in the industry. The horses became about the money and were no longer treated as pets the way she always wanted them to be. I know that probably doesn't seem important to you but keeping the legacy away from David means everything to me. If I can get to the PBR again I could take the whole thing. I was on my way when my dad stripped me of everything I love and caused me to quit."

  "What happens if you win? How does that change anything?"

  "It would change everything, Ari. The payout is a million dollar bonus."

  And that made it all crystal clear. He could buy out his uncle.

  "It's the only way, darlin’. I could make that and more off of Magnus but he would take fifty percent and I don't want him having a dime of it."

  "I get it. Truly I do and as much as it scares me you're going to get hurt I will be here for you no matter what."

  "That means everything to me. I can't lose you now."

  Chapter 20

  Each week that went by, Canyon got closer and closer to his goal. Shelby and I went to each rodeo praying to God that he would come out unscathed and not only did he, but he was setting new record highs for himself. Canyon seemed on top of the world but there was something he forgot that I couldn't let slip my mind. My birthday was the same day as the last rodeo he would enter before qualifying. We only had two days until I turned eighteen and a week until I graduated. Time wasn't on our side anymore.

  It was Wednesday right after school let out and I had plans to meet up with Canyon over at Jason's house. Everyone else was going on and on about graduation and what they were going to do after. I only had one thing I allowed myself to focus on and that was Canyon. I needed him to be okay before I left. It was the least I could do.

  Jason had the training area Canyon was using and I had started going over there and watching them work the day after his first ride. He convinced me that watching would make me more comfortable and as much as I doubted him, he was right. Getting caught up in the rope strap was extremely rare. The way Canyon rode made it almost seem easy and I knew full well there is nothing about riding a bull that is easy. It was the grace in which he did it. The way his body moved instead of the jerking you see when you watch other riders do the same thing. He had a natural gift. That's for sure.

  I pulled into Jason's ready for the hug and kiss I always had waiting for me but what I got was no Canyon. I knew he was there. I parked right next to his truck. Finding it odd, I walked around back and spotted Jason right away standing next to the practice ring.

  Walking toward him I asked, "Where's Canyon?"

  He didn't answer but instead pointed over to the back side of the house. "He's on the phone with his lawyer. Whatever it is, it's not good."

  I shook my head looking over at Canyon. "He can't catch a damn break."

  "Does seem that way, doesn’t it?"

  I started on my way over to him when Jason yelled, "I wouldn't do that."

  "Thanks for the advice."

  I didn't take it. Over the last month and a half when things got tough we were what each other needed. Why would this time be any different?"

  The closer I got, the more I picked up from the conversation.

  "How can he do that?"

  "Well do something! Stop it from going forward until I get the money."

  "Delay it!"

  Canyon wouldn't look at me. He kept his head down and was kicking around the dirt from under his boots.

  I reached out to put my hand on his shoulder when he jerked back as if my touch could burn him. My hand recoiled but it wasn't enough to make me give up from wanting to be there when he needed me.

  "All right, just call me if anything else comes up."

  Canyon hung up the phone and then looked at me for the first time with rage in his eyes.

  "What happened? Whatever it is, we can get through this."
/>   "No 'WE' can't. Your precious step-dad has decided to represent David. The only asshole that would be willing to take his case is your step-dad, Ari. They are moving to freeze my assets!"

  "Oh no! Oh my God! I am so sorry." I wrapped my arms around his shoulders but he was as stiff as a board. "Hey! Listen to me. They won't win."

  I brought my lips to his but what I got in return was worse than the first time I tried to kiss a boy in fourth grade. I pulled back and looked in his eyes.

  "You're not blaming me for this, are you?"

  He leaned forward and kissed me but it was the most pathetic form of a kiss a person could give and then he pushed me away from him.

  "No, Ari, it's not your fault. Nothing is anyone’s fault. Shit just happens."

  He walked back over to Jason, slapped him on the back and said, "Let's do this." never looking back at me. I stood there thinking, “How is my step-dad representing his uncle?” I didn't even know he had a license to practice in Montana let alone handle a lawsuit over horses. He was so far out of his league with this it could only mean one thing. He wanted to hurt me and he was using Canyon to do it.

  I walked over to the metal fence where the two of them stood talking.

  "Sorry to interrupt but I wanted you to know I'm gonna get going. I'll see you later back at your place, Canyon. Bye, Jason."

  That got Canyon's attention. "Where are you going?"

  I had started walking toward my truck when I turned to answer him. "There's a few things I need to take care of. I'll see you later."

  I spun around and continued to walk to my truck until I was inside of it, turning it on. Some part of me thought he would chase me down to find out what I had up my sleeve. When he didn't, I knew he blamed me for playing a part in all this and in a way he was right. If I had never come to this stupid town, my step-dick wouldn't be here either.

  I called Maddie's parents first and asked if they would mind watching Shelby for me for a few hours. Her mother answered and agreed without question. I thanked her and drove straight home. Leaving the truck on, I walked in the door and went straight to Shelby's room.

  "Hey, squirt. Would you like to go over to Maddie's and play for a little while?"