Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

by Roald Dahl

  They sit and stare and stare and sit

  Until they're hypnotized by it,

  Until they're absolutely drunk

  With all that shocking ghastly junk.

  Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,

  They don't climb out the window sill,

  They never fight or kick or punch,

  They leave you free to cook the lunch

  And wash the dishes in the sink -

  But did you ever stop to think,

  To wonder just exactly what

  This does to your beloved tot?

  IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!

  IT KILLS IMAGINA TION DEAD!

  IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!

  IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND

  HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND

  A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!

  HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!

  HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!

  HE CAN NO T THINK - HE ONLY SEES!

  "All right!" you'll cry. "All right!" you'll say,

  "But if we take the set away,

  What shall we do to entertain

  Our darling children! Please explain!"

  We'll answer this by asking you,

  "What used the darling ones to do?

  How used they keep themselves contented

  Before this monster was invented?"

  Have you for gotten? Don't you know?

  We'll say it very loud and slow:

  THEY... USED... TO... READ! They'd

  READ and READ,

  AND READ and READ, and then proceed

  TO READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!

  One half their lives was reading books!

  The nursery shelves held books galore!

  Books cluttered up the nursery floor!

  And in the bedroom, by the bed,

  More books were waiting to be read!

  Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales

  Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales

  And treasure isles, and distant shores

  Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,

  And pirates wearing purple pants,

  And sailing ships and elephants,

  And cannibals crouching round the pot,

  Stirring away at something hot.

  (It smells so good, what can it be?

  Good gracious, it's Penelope.)

  The younger ones had Beatrix Potter

  With Mr Tod, the dirty rotter,

  And Squirrel JVutkin, Pigling Bland,

  And Mrs Tiggy-Winkle and -

  Just How The Camel Got His Hump,

  And How The Monkey Lost His Rump,

  And Mr Toad, and bless my soul,

  There's Mr Rat and Mr Mole -

  Oh, books, what books they used to know,

  Those children living long ago!

  So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,

  Go throw your TV set away,

  And in its place you can install

  A lovely bookshelf on the wall.

  Then fill the shelves with lots of books,

  Ignoring all the dirty looks,

  The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,

  And children hitting you with sticks -

  Fear not, because we promise you

  That, in about a week or two

  Of having nothing else to do,

  They'll now begin to feel the need

  Of having something good to read.

  And once they start - oh boy, oh boy!

  You watch the slowly growing joy

  That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen

  They'll wonder what they'd ever seen

  In that ridiculous machine,

  That nauseating, foul, unclean.

  Repulsive television screen!

  And later, each and every kid

  Will love you more for what you did.

  P.S. Regarding Mike Teavee,

  We very much regret that we

  Shall simply have to wait and see

  If we can get him back his height.

  But if we can't - it serves him right.'

  28

  Only Charlie Left

  'Which room shall it be next?' said Mr Wonka as he turned away and darted into the lift. 'Come on! Hurry up! We must get going! And how many children are there left now?'

  Little Charlie looked at Grandpa Joe, and Grandpa Joe looked back at little Charlie.

  'But Mr Wonka,' Grandpa Joe called after him, 'there's... there's only Charlie left now.'

  Mr Wonka swung round and stared at Charlie.

  There was a silence. Charlie stood there holding tightly on to Grandpa Joe's hand.

  'You mean you're the only one left?' Mr Wonka said, pretending to be surprised.

  'Why, yes,' whispered Charlie. 'Yes.'

  Mr Wonka suddenly exploded with excitement. 'But my dear boy,' he cried out, 'that means you've won!' He rushed out of the lift and started shaking Charlie's hand so furiously it nearly came off. 'Oh, I do congratulate you!' he cried. 'I really do! I'm absolutely delighted! It couldn't be better! How wonderful this is! I had a hunch, you knew, right from the beginning, that it was going to be you! Well done, Charlie, well done! This is terrific! Now the fun is really going to start! But we mustn't dilly! We mustn't dally! There's even less time to lose now than there was before! We have an enormous number of things to do before the day is out! Just think of the arrangements that have to be made! And the people we have to fetch! But luckily for us,

  we have the great glass lift to speed things up! Jump in, my dear Charlie, jump in! You too, Grandpa Joe, sir! No, no, after you! That's the way! Now then! This time I shall choose the button we are going to press!' Mr Wonka's bright twinkling blue eyes rested for a moment on Charlie's face.

  Something crazy is going to happen now, Charlie thought. But he wasn't frightened. He wasn't even nervous. He was just terrifically excited. And so was Grandpa Joe. The old man's face was shining with excitement as he watched every move that Mr Wonka made. Mr Wonka was reaching for a button high up on the glass ceiling of the lift. Charlie and Grandpa Joe both craned their necks to read what it said on the little label beside the button.

  It said... UP AND OUT.

  'Up and out,' thought Charlie. 'What sort of a room is that?'

  Mr Wonka pressed the button.

  The glass doors closed.

  'Hold on!' cried Mr Wonka.

  Then WHAM! The lift shot straight up like a rocket! 'Yippee!' shouted Grandpa Joe. Charlie was clinging to Grandpa Joe's legs and Mr Wonka was holding on to a strap from the ceiling, and up they went, up, up, up, straight up this time, with no twistings or turnings, and Charlie could hear the whistling of the air outside as the lift went faster and faster. 'Yippee!' shouted Grandpa Joe again. 'Yippee! Here we go!'

  'Faster!' cried Mr Wonka, banging the wall of the lift with his hand. 'Faster! Faster! If we don't go any faster than this, we shall never get through!'

  'Through what?' shouted Grandpa Joe. 'What have we got to get through?'

  'Ah-ha!' cried Mr Wonka, 'you wait and see! I've been longing to press this button for years! But I've never done it until now! I was tempted many times! Oh, yes, I was tempted! But I couldn't bear the thought of making a great big hole in the roof of the factory! Here we go, boys! Up and out!'

  'But you don't mean...' shouted Grandpa Joe, '... you don't really mean that this lift...'

  'Oh yes, I do!' answered Mr Wonka. 'You wait and see! Up and out!'

  'But... but... but... it's made of glass!' shouted Grandpa Joe. 'It'll break into a million pieces!'

  'I suppose it might,' said Mr Wonka, cheerful as ever, 'but it's pretty thick glass, all the same.'

  The lift rushed on, going up and up and up, faster and faster and faster...

  Then suddenly, CRASH! - and the most tremendous noise of splintering wood and broken tiles came from directly above their heads, and Grandpa Joe shouted, 'Help! It's the end! We're done for!' and
Mr Wonka said, 'No, we're not! We're through! We're out!' Sure enough, the lift had shot right up through the roof of the factory and was now rising into the sky like a rocket, and the sunshine was pouring in through the glass roof. In five seconds they were a thousand feet up in the sky.

  'The lift's gone mad!' shouted Grandpa Joe.

  'Have no fear, my dear sir,' said Mr Wonka calmly, and he pressed another button. The lift stopped. It stopped and hung in mid-air, hovering like a helicopter, hovering over the factory and over the very town itself which lay spread out below them like a picture postcard! Looking down through the glass floor on which he was standing, Charlie could see the small far-away houses and the streets and the snow that lay thickly over everything. It was an eerie and frightening feeling to be standing on clear glass high up in the sky. It made you feel that you weren't standing on anything at all.

  'Are we all right?' cried Grandpa Joe. 'How does this thing stay up?'

  'Sugar power!' said Mr Wonka. 'One million sugar power! Oh, look,' he cried, pointing down, 'there go the other children! They're returning home!'

  29

  The Other Children Go Home

  'We must go down and take a look at our little friends before we do anything else,' said Mr Wonka. He pressed a different button, and the lift dropped lower, and soon it was hovering just above the entrance gates to the factory.

  Looking down now, Charlie could see the children and their parents standing in a little group just inside the gates.

  'I can only see three,' he said. 'Who's missing?'

  'I expect it's Mike Teavee,' Mr Wonka said. 'But he'll be coming along soon. Do you see the trucks?' Mr Wonka pointed to a line of gigantic covered vans parked in a line near by.

  'Yes,' Charlie said. 'What are they for?'

  'Don't you remember what it said on the Golden Tickets? Every child goes home with a lifetime's supply of sweets. There's one truckload for each of them, loaded to the brim. Ah-ha,' Mr Wonka went on, 'there goes our friend Augustus Gloop! D'you see him? He's getting into the first truck with his mother and father!'

  'You mean he's really all right?' asked Charlie, astonished. 'Even after going up that awful pipe?'

  'He's very much all right,' said Mr Wonka.

  'He's changed!' said Grandpa Joe, peering down through the glass wall of the elevator. 'He used to be fat! Now he's thin as a straw!'

  'Of course he's changed,' said Mr Wonka, laughing. 'He got squeezed in the pipe. Don't you remember? And look! There goes Miss Violet Beauregarde, the great gum-chewer! It seems as though they managed to de-juice her after all. I'm so glad. And how healthy she looks! Much better than before!'

  'But she's purple in the face!' cried Grandpa Joe.

  'So she is,' said Mr Wonka. 'Ah, well, there's nothing we can do about that.'

  'Good gracious!' cried Charlie. 'Look at poor Veruca Salt and Mr Salt and Mrs Salt! They're simply covered with rubbish!'

  'And here comes Mike Teavee!' said Grandpa Joe. 'Good heavens! What have they done to him? He's about ten feet tall and thin as a wire!'

  'They've overstretched him on the gum-stretching machine,' said Mr Wonka. 'How very careless.'

  'But how dreadful for him!' cried Charlie.

  'Nonsense,' said Mr Wonka, 'he's very lucky. Every basketball team in the country will be trying to get him. But now,' he added, 'it is time we left these four silly children. I have something very important to talk to you about, my dear Charlie.' Mr Wonka pressed another button, and the lift swung upwards into the sky.

  30

  Charlie's Chocolate Factory

  The great glass lift was now hovering high over the town. Inside the lift stood Mr Wonka, Grandpa Joe, and little Charlie.

  'How I love my chocolate factory,' said Mr Wonka, gazing down. Then he paused, and he turned around and looked at Charlie with a most serious expression on his face. 'Do you love it too, Charlie?' he asked.

  'Oh, yes,' cried Charlie, T think it's the most wonderful place in the whole world!'

  'I am very pleased to hear you say that,' said Mr Wonka, looking more serious than ever. He went on staring at Charlie. 'Yes,' he said, 'I am very pleased indeed to hear you say that. And now I shall tell you why.' Mr Wonka cocked his head to one side and all at once the tiny twinkling wrinkles of a smile appeared around the corners of his eyes, and he said, 'You see, my dear boy, I have decided to make you a present of the whole place. As soon as you are old enough to run it, the entire factory will become yours.'

  Charlie stared at Mr Wonka. Grandpa Joe opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

  'It's quite true,' Mr Wonka said, smiling broadly now. 'I really am giving it to you. That's all right, isn't it?'

  'Giving it to him?' gasped Grandpa Joe. 'You must be joking.'

  'I'm not joking, sir. I'm deadly serious.'

  'But... but... why should you want to give your factory to little Charlie?'

  'Listen,' Mr Wonka said, 'I'm an old man. I'm much older than you think. I can't go on for ever. I've got no children of my own, no family at all. So who is going to run the factory when I get too old to do it myself? Someone's got to keep it going - if only for the sake of the Oompa-Loompas. Mind you, there are thousands of clever men who would give anything for the chance to come in and take over from me, but I don't want that sort of person. I don't want a grown-up person at all. A grown-up won't listen to me; he won't learn. He will try to do things his own way and not mine. So I have to have a child. I want a good sensible loving child, one to whom I can tell all my most precious sweet-making secrets - while I am still alive.'

  'So that is why you sent out the Golden Tickets!' cried Charlie.

  'Exactly!' said Mr Wonka. 'I decided to invite five children to the factory, and the one I liked best at the end of the day would be the winner!'

  'But Mr Wonka,' stammered Grandpa Joe, 'do you really and truly mean that you are giving the whole of this enormous factory to little Charlie? After all...'

  'There's no time for arguments!' cried Mr Wonka. 'We must go at once and fetch the rest of the family - Charlie's father and his mother and anyone else that's around! They can all live in the factory from now on! They can all help to run it until Charlie is old enough to do it by himself! Where do you live, Charlie?'

  Charlie peered down through the glass floor at the snow-covered houses that lay below. 'It's over there,' he said, pointing. 'It's that little cottage right on the edge of the town, the tiny little one...'

  'I see it!' cried Mr Wonka, and he pressed some more buttons and the lift shot down towards Charlie's house.

  'I'm afraid my mother won't come with us,' Charlie said sadly.

  'Why ever not?'

  'Because she won't leave Grandma Josephine and Grandma Georgina and Grandpa George.'

  'But they must come too.'

  'They can't,' Charlie said. 'They're very old and they haven't been out of bed for twenty years.'

  'Then we'll take the bed along as well, with them in it,' said Mr Wonka. 'There's plenty of room in this lift for a bed.'

  'You couldn't get the bed out of the house,' said Grandpa Joe. 'It won't go through the door.'

  'You mustn't despair!' cried Mr Wonka. 'Nothing is impossible! You watch!'

  The lift was now hovering over the roof of the Buckets' little house.

  'What are you going to do?' cried Charlie.

  'I'm going right on in to fetch them,' said Mr Wonka.

  'How?' asked Grandpa Joe.

  'Through the roof,' said Mr Wonka, pressing another button.

  'No!' shouted Charlie.

  'Stop!' shouted Grandpa Joe.

  CRASH went the lift, right down through the roof of the house into the old people's bedroom. Showers of dust and broken tiles and bits of wood and cockroaches and spiders and bricks and cement went raining down on the three old ones who were lying in bed, and each of them thought that the end of the world was come. Grandma Georgina fainted, Grandma Josephine dropped her false teeth, Grandpa George put
his head under the blanket, and Mr and Mrs Bucket came rushing in from the next room.

  'Save us!' cried Grandma Josephine.

  'Calm yourself, my darling wife,' said Grandpa Joe, stepping out of the lift. 'It's only us.'

  'Mother!' cried Charlie, rushing into Mrs Bucket's arms. 'Mother! Mother! Listen to what's happened! We're all going back to live in Mr Wonka's factory and we're going to help him to run it and he's given it all to me and... and... and... and...'

  'What are you talking about?' said Mrs Bucket.

  'Just look at our house!' cried poor Mr Bucket. 'It's in ruins!'

  'My dear sir,' said Mr Wonka, jumping forward and shaking Mr Bucket warmly by the hand, 'I'm so very glad to meet you. You mustn't worry about your house. From now on, you're never going to need it again, anyway.'

  'Who is this crazy man?' screamed Grandma Josephine. 'He could have killed us all.'

  'This,' said Grandpa Joe, 'is Mr Willy Wonka himself

  It took quite a time for Grandpa Joe and Charlie to explain to everyone exactly what had been happening to them all day. And even then they all refused to ride back to the factory in the lift.

  'I'd rather die in my bed!' shouted Grandma Josephine.

  'So would I!' cried Grandma Georgina.

  'I refuse to go!' announced Grandpa George.

  So Mr Wonka and Grandpa Joe and Charlie, taking no notice of their screams, simply pushed the bed into the lift. They pushed Mr and Mrs Bucket in after it. Then they got in themselves. Mr Wonka pressed a button. The doors closed. Grandma Georgina screamed. And the lift rose up off the floor and shot through the hole in the roof, out into the open sky.

  Charlie climbed on to the bed and tried to calm the three old people who were still petrified with fear. 'Please don't be frightened,' he said. 'It's quite safe. And we're going to the most wonderful place in the world!'

  'Charlie's right,' said Grandpa Joe.

  'Will there be anything to eat when we get there?' asked Grandma Josephine. 'I'm starving! The whole family is starving!'

  'Anything to eat?' cried Charlie laughing. 'Oh, you just wait and see!'