Quillblade

by Ben Chandler

  As lightning spread across the sky, Lenis lost all sense of himself. The noise of the storm and the sea disappeared. He could no longer feel the weight of the deck beneath him. He felt neither heat nor cold. All he could feel around him was water.

  Missy shivered and, for an instant, felt nothing at all. All sensation dimmed. Even the cloak binding her to Raikô seemed to vanish. In that single moment she thought she must have died. It reminded her of how she had felt standing atop the walls of Gesshoku as Lord Raikô had reached out and separated her spirit-self from her physical body.

  The moment passed as it had back then, though she couldn’t remember how long ago that had been, and she was in the Totem’s hall again, watching Raikô slip further and further into his madness, the Wasteland taint slowly consuming him.

  Missy was still dimly aware of her body, lying prone somewhere far away, but panic suddenly overwhelmed her. Had it finally given out? Was that what that weird feeling, or lack of feeling, had been? Had she died, at least in a physical sense? How long could a body survive without its soul? As she watched the diseased Totem writhing in his attempts to fight his inevitable decay, Missy wondered if he had doomed her to this spirit-existence forever, leaving her with nothing to return to but a rotting corpse.

  For a moment Lenis thought he saw his sister in a hollow hall lit dimly by a wavering fire. Though the image faded quickly it stayed with him throughout his dreams. Faces came and went. Captain Shishi, Long Liu, Namei, and the rest of the crew, one by one. The figurehead of the Hiryû rose up before him, its wooden scales changing from painted red to glinting blue. With a horrible wrenching sound it tore itself free of the vessel, leaving the hull of the airship to plummet to the ground as it soared away.

  YOU MUST SAVE MY DAUGHTER, the dragon trumpeted to him as he sank, helplessly, with the airship.

  I have to find the World Tree! Lenis thought suddenly and felt himself rise above the deck. Detached, he watched the Hiryû fall away below him. As he looked down he saw Yami standing in the forecastle, now bereft of its figurehead, and watched as he transformed into a giant of a man, haloed in light.

  I have to find it! Lenis called apologetically.

  He couldn’t read the look on the strange man’s face, so he raised his gaze to stare at the horizon. Far in the distance he saw a tree standing taller than a mountain. Its boughs spread from the east all the way to the west, crowning the world. In an instant Lenis realised he had found the World Tree at last.

  ‘ ...nis, wake up. Lenis?’

  He heard the words but struggled against them, trying to re-enter his dream and discover some clue as to the World Tree’s location. Suddenly he could feel hands holding him down and, though he fought as best he could, his body was too weak.

  The voice returned. ‘You’re having a bad dream. Wake up, Lenis, it’s all right.’

  ‘No!’ He tried to shout but it came out a croak. ‘No, it’s not all right. I saw it! I saw it!’

  ‘Doctor?’

  ‘Let him go, Namei, he’ll settle in a moment.’

  The weight around his shoulders disappeared and Lenis opened his eyes. His vision filled with Namei’s face and his panic quietened as he realised where he was. He was in his bunk in the engine room and Namei was next to him. The doctor stood just behind her, somehow managing to look stern and amused at the same time. Lenis could feel something was wrong. It took him a moment to realise that most of his skin was numb. He was wrapped up in bandages, too. Scattered memories came back to him, and he thought he could feel an echo of pain in his injured face, hands and knee, but something was holding it back. Not so the throbbing in his chest. He felt battered and bruised and terribly weak, but he was otherwise safe aboard the Hiryû.

  ‘What happened?’

  Namei lifted a shallow bowl to his lips. She helped him raise his head to drink and then lowered him down again. ‘You went overboard during the crossing. Gôshi Yami pulled you out.’

  ‘Yami?’

  ‘He turned into Gawayn to kill the Demon, but when he saw you go overboard he became Yami again and dived in after you. We managed to lower a rope and haul you both out. We didn’t think you were going to come back to us.’ This last part she said quickly, as if afraid she might stop herself before finishing.

  ‘I don’t understand ...’

  ‘You nearly died!’ Namei shouted and then ran out of the room.

  Long Liu clicked his tongue. ‘Not good to worry her.’ He moved his hands over Lenis’s bandaged body, clucking his tongue occasionally. It felt odd; sometimes Lenis could feel the doctor touching his skin and sometimes he couldn’t.

  ‘Am I going to be all right?’

  ‘Hmm?’

  Lenis took a deep breath and forced the words out again. ‘Am I going to be all right?’

  ‘Oh, I should think so. Just don’t stick your face into any more furnaces. The salve will dull the pain of your burns for a time, but don’t come begging for more when it wears off. There isn’t any, and I don’t have all the ingredients I need to make more. Now. Doctor’s orders – don’t go jumping off any more boats.’

  ‘I didn’t jump, I ... Wait, where are we?’ Lenis suddenly realised the airship was still.

  ‘We reached the southern coast of Heiligland yesterday, Master Clemens,’ the captain said from the doorway. ‘Thanks in no small part to your efforts. I hope you have sustained no permanent injuries.’

  The doctor left Lenis’s side. ‘The boy will be fine. Rest is the best thing for him. Once that salve wears off the pain will return. He’s going to need his strength.’

  Lenis didn’t find that very reassuring, but at least for now he couldn’t feel his burns.

  The captain nodded as the doctor left the engine room. ‘The crossing proved to be more difficult than I had anticipated. For that I apologise.’ He bowed.

  Lenis didn’t know what to do or say. ‘There’s no need –’

  ‘I think there is. I have dismissed your concerns in the past due to your age and inexperience. I think in the future I will pay them more mind. You possess experience and knowledge beyond your years.’

  Lenis was thankful for the bandages covering his blush. This was the first time he had ever spoken to the captain alone.

  Captain Shishi went on, ‘You did your work well. When you are feeling better we will continue our journey.’

  Did his work well? Well? He had always done his work well! What did it matter? ‘I did my duty.’ Lenis turned his face away. ‘Captain.’

  For an uncomfortable moment the captain said nothing. ‘Does that distress you?’

  Lenis felt tears come to his eyes and was suddenly too tired to think anymore. ‘We don’t all get to choose our fate, sir.’

  ‘Master Clemens, there is no fate in this world. If there were, we would simply allow life to happen without us. What you call “fate” is nothing more than the tides of choices made by the hundreds, the thousands, the millions of people in this world. Each decision we make contributes to the ebb and flow of life. Sometimes the current seems against us, and sometimes it seems we are riding on the crest of a tsunami, but in the end we are less than a drop of water in the ocean.’

  Choice? When had Lenis ever been given a choice? The frustrations of the past couple of weeks came pouring out of him all at once. His fear of being sold, of being separated from his sister, was no longer enough to silence him. He was a slave, a child, and the man before him had complete control over what happened to him, but just then, Lenis didn’t care.

  ‘It’s all right for you!’ He turned back to face the captain. ‘You and the others can do whatever you want while Missy and I are dragged along behind you! You speak about “Ways” and of finding a purpose, but it’s stupid! What purpose can a slave have but to do his duty? How is that different to fate? You don’t even care that Missy’s lying in the doctor’s cab
in, virtually dead! What have you done for her, for either of us? We were better off in service to the Warlord! At least there we were safe.’

  Lenis’s throat ached from his outburst and tears ran down his cheeks. This was it. He knew he had gone too far. There was no way the captain could ignore him now. The best Lenis could hope for was to be sold off. The worst lay in the scabbard by the captain’s side.

  The worst. Missy. Lenis’s heart sank. He’d never see his sister again. Who was going to help her now?

  Captain Shishi remained calm and silent. After a moment he came and sat on the end of Lenis’s bunk. ‘You talk of fate as though it controls you. Fate is what happens when you do nothing, when you allow the choices of others to move you around. Fate is existence without purpose. The Way is the purpose we choose for ourselves. That is what I offered you all when we first stole the Hiryû – a chance to choose your own fate – yet you believe we stole you and your sister from Lord Shôgo when we stole his airship?’

  It was only half a question and Lenis wasn’t sure if the captain expected a response. His throat ached as he forced himself to stop crying. He wiped furiously at his eyes but dropped his hands when he thought about his damaged cheek. Just because it was numb didn’t mean he couldn’t do more damage to it.

  Captain Shishi nodded once, as if to himself. ‘Forgive me. I did not think to formally grant you and your sister your liberty. I do not know how such things are done in Pure Land. We do not enslave people in Shinzô. Those who serve others are not slaves. They are free to seek employment elsewhere. You and your sister came to us with the Hiryû – that was the course others had chosen for you – but no one on the crew considered you to be a part of the airship.’

  Lenis stared at him through moist eyes, unsure of how to feel. The Clemens twins had come with the Hiryû. The Puritan Ruling Council had included them with the gift of the airship. The other crewmembers who had flown the airship to Shinzô had all gone home, all except Kenji, who had chosen to stay. Is that what the captain thought the twins had done, chosen to stay, like Kenji? Had this all been some big mistake?

  ‘You mean,’ Lenis croaked and had to cough to clear his throat, ‘you mean we aren’t slaves anymore?’

  ‘The only person aboard the Hiryû who considers you to be a slave is yourself.’

  Lenis turned away again and squeezed his eyes closed. All of it had been for nothing. His fear of being sold, of showing too much of himself to the others, of losing his sister. All for nothing. The captain hadn’t stolen them at all. He had freed them. Freedom. What was it? What did it mean?

  An image came to Lenis of the slave pens on the shores of Blue Lake. Beyond the lake had been the purple mountains that blocked the horizon. He had often looked up at them when he was younger, wondering what might lie beyond. In his imagination he had only ever had to cross those mountains to be free. But then he had grown up and started working on airships, and he had seen that what was behind those snowcapped peaks was no different than what was on his side. No matter where he went, no matter how far he travelled from the slave pens, he was never free. And now he was, he didn’t know what freedom was supposed to look like. It certainly wasn’t what he had imagined it to be as a child.

  ‘Captain Shishi?’

  ‘Yes, Master Clemens?’

  ‘Why did we steal the Hiryû?’

  ‘I became a shugyosha, a wandering swordsman, when I realised the world was decaying and my people were doing nothing about it. They were more concerned with politics, while I wished to know what was happening to our world. I journeyed to the temples of Shinzô, believing there was a link between the Jinn, the Totem and the Wastelands.’ Captain Shishi peered out of the engine room’s porthole as though it were a portal to his own memories. ‘I met others who believed as I did, that the Demons were growing stronger as our guardians weakened. When I was commissioned to captain the Hiryû, I saw it as a chance to break free of Shinzôn politics. I thought I – no, I thought we could make a difference.’

  ‘But, Lord Knyght ...’ Lenis was trying to make sense of it all. What had brought them here? Where were they going?

  The captain laughed and brought his attention back into the confines of the engine room. ‘Did you know that Lord Knyght was banished from Kyst?’ Lenis shook his head. ‘He sacrificed his standing in an attempt to protect his country from his own king’s greed. It seems the ruler of Kyst was intent on destroying what little of the world remained in his quest for greater power.’

  Lenis filed this information away to share with his sister later. He hadn’t thought of Arthur as a hero before. ‘He’s like you then, isn’t he? You’re both trying to make things better, while everyone else is ignoring the situation.’

  Captain Shishi bowed his head. ‘I am honoured you think so highly of me.’ He stood abruptly. ‘I will leave you now to your rest. I am sure when you are better you will be able to help us with the Bestia.’

  A terrible feeling pulled at Lenis’s stomach. He hadn’t even thought of the Bestia. Flashes of memory came back to him of Aeris and Atrum, charred by Ignis’s power, and Ignis ... had Ignis gone over the side with Lenis? This led to a greater realisation. He couldn’t feel any of them next to him.

  ‘Where are they?’ He tried to sit up and pain ran through his body. His vision swam, but he ignored the discomfort.

  Captain Shishi turned back to him. ‘We do not know. They abandoned the Hiryû when we reached the coast.’

  ‘They what?’

  ‘They have left us. When you are well again you must help us find them.’

  Lenis fell into his pillow. ‘Aeris ...’ He sank back into unconsciousness.

  When next he woke it was from a dreamless sleep and for that, at least, he was thankful. As soon as he was awake, however, his thoughts turned to the Bestia and how he had mistreated them in order to flee Shinzô. There was no doubt in his mind that his conduct was the reason they were gone.

  His practical mind reasserted itself as he tested the limits of his strength. The pleasant numbness still hovered around his chin, hands and knee, but he thought maybe the area of effect had gotten a bit smaller. After prodding his cheek for a few moments, Lenis slowly raised himself from his pillow, wary of the blood rushing to his head. When he was confident he wasn’t going to faint, he tried sitting. His vision blurred as he righted himself, but he managed to remain steady. He took several deep breaths before swinging his legs over the edge of the bunk. Whatever salve the doctor had used on him did nothing for the other pains in his body. His chest was still sore but wasn’t as bad as it had been when he first woke up. The other aches in his body seemed more manageable too. Perhaps he had gotten used to them; maybe he was healing. Either was a positive sign. When he had both legs planted firmly he hauled himself up, clutching the blanket around his waist.

  ‘You shouldn’t be out of bed yet,’ Namei said from the doorway.

  Lenis forced himself to grin at her. ‘No choice. Have to find the Bestia.’

  Namei moved forwards and at first he thought she was going to push him back into bed. Instead she bent down and picked up his trousers. ‘You won’t be able to find them like that.’

  She held them out to him and then turned around as Lenis struggled into his clothing. It proved to be a slow process, made more so by his weakness and the frequent waves of dizziness that assaulted him. The longer he took the more nervous he became that Namei would turn around and catch him half-out of his pants.

  Finally, Lenis fastened his belt. ‘I wanted to thank you.’

  ‘You don’t have –’

  ‘And say I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said and –’

  ‘It’s all right.’ Namei glanced over her shoulder. ‘We all say things we don’t mean sometimes, but in the end it doesn’t matter. That’s what family is all about.’

  ‘Family?’

  ‘Yes, Lenis, don’t y
ou understand? We aren’t just a crew anymore. We’re a family. The captain, Lord Tenjin, you, me, Lord Knyght, even Gawayn, in his own way. We’ve already been through so much. A family isn’t just about blood, it’s about spirit, and our spirits are one now. So don’t be afraid, I’ll always be here to take care of you, to help you. We all will.’

  Lenis felt his face flush and resumed dressing in silence. When he was finally clothed he draped the blanket over his shoulders and pushed himself away from his bunk.

  ‘Can you help me to the deck?’ His voice trembled.

  Namei pulled his arm around her shoulders. ‘Of course.’

  They moved frustratingly slowly. Lenis had to pause to catch his breath at the stairs leading up to the deck. Climbing them proved to be an ordeal. He was glad Namei didn’t feel the need to say anything. When at last the fresh air hit him, Lenis had to sit down. He put his head between his legs and breathed deeply, surprised at how much the open air reinvigorated him. Soon he was able to stand and, with Namei’s help, stagger over to the railing.

  Lenis had seen Heiligland depicted on tapestries back in Pure Land, but they were old and faded and couldn’t compare to what he saw now. The yellow of the coast swept back from the ocean until a dark wall of rock sliced into it on the western horizon. The deep viridian of the tree-studded mountain spread up into the north, and softer mounds of earth undulated in its shadow. The sun peeked through patches of cloud to spread its rays across the hills. There was no sign of any settlement, but to the north-east was another, darker patch of trees, this one on the coast, almost reaching the water’s edge. An unpleasant feeling ran through Lenis as he stared at it.

  Namei must have followed his gaze. ‘Wastelands.’

  Lenis turned to look over the far railing and saw the violent seas to the south. It was then that he noticed the state of the Hiryû. The crossing had not been easy. The timbers of the deck and holds were scarred from the battle with the sea Demon, and tatters of rope hung everywhere. He shuddered when he saw the damage done to the balloons. They were lying limply on the deck and showed signs of recent repair work. The crystal dome seemed unharmed but the crow’s nest had been ripped free of the central mast.