The Very Thought of You

by S. Anne Gardner

  A few days later Reese and Carly pulled up to her driveway and found Alex was already there. As Reese got out of the car, she noticed a huge empty cardboard box sitting next to the trash cans along the side of the house.

  “What is she up to?” Reese asked out loud as she and Carly went up to the front door and walked in.

  “Mommy, look!” Carly exclaimed as she ran to a beautiful red bicycle. It was the exact one she had wanted and they had talked about possibly getting. Reese just stood in shock.

  Carly walked around it and then ran to Alex, hugging her before she ran back to her bike again. Alex’s smile could not have been broader.

  “You like it?” Alex asked excitedly.

  “Yeah, it’s perfect! See, this is the thingy that I was telling you about at the store that you go like this,” she pulled at the bell, “and then like that.”

  Alex was totally lost in her fascination with the joy she had brought Carly. When she finally looked up, she saw Reese standing there with her arms crossed in front of her chest. Alex got up and walked up to her.

  “I wanted to surprise her,” she said meekly.

  Reese uncrossed her arms and smiled. “Alex, it is a beautiful bike,” Reese said patiently. She took her finger and lifted Alex’s chin. “But, you just got her a PlayStation last week.”

  “But, Reese, it makes her happy.” Alex took Reese into her arms with gusto.

  “You are the pied piper. You know that?” Reese asked just before Alex kissed her.

  †

  “Hello, Kate,” Alex said to her sister as the front door opened. Kate just stood aside as Alex waltzed in.

  “Well, I finally get to see you. When are you guys coming over for dinner? Not planning on hibernating all winter are you?”

  “I love you too, Kate.”

  “So, to what do I owe this honor?” Kate asked as she sat down.

  Sitting down, Alex crossed her legs. “I need your opinion on something…”

  Before Alex could finish Kate interrupted. “You? Need my opinion? Oh my God, the heavens and the tidal waves!” Kate exclaimed in humor.

  “Okay, okay, very funny, but seriously. I want to give Reese a ring,” Alex stated, looking for her sister’s reaction.

  “Alex, I think that’s wonderful!” Kate said seriously. She knew what Alex was getting at. Alex was telling her that she was going to ask Reese to be a part of their family. Kate leaned forward and held her sister’s hand. “She loves you Alex, and I know that she will make you very happy.”

  “Yeah, she does,” Alex agreed as she blushed.

  “Have you asked her?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?” Kate asked concerned.

  “I’m afraid she’ll turn me down.”

  Kate was astonished. “Alex, she adores you, and Carly worships you!”

  “I hurt her, Kate. I hurt her very badly. If she were to say no to me, I think I would die,” Alex said very seriously.

  Kate leaned in closer and put a stray lock of dark hair behind her sister’s ear before she gently replied. “Alex, Reese loves you. Trust in that.”

  Alex looked up and Kate could see the fear in her green eyes. “I can’t lose her, Kate.”

  Kate squeezed her hard. “You won’t, sweetheart. You won’t.”

  Alex smiled and her eyes looked hopeful.

  “Now, let’s go shopping!” Kate exclaimed.

  †

  Reese was stomping and raving. She was furious. “I can’t believe you did this!”

  “But—” Alex tried to say.

  “No! No but’s. I can’t believe you went and did this without talking to me about it first!”

  “Reese, if you only knew—”

  “Alex, I am furious with you!” Reese yelled, stomping her foot again as Alex stood, chastised.

  “Reese, try to understand…”

  “Understand? Understand!”

  “Okay, maybe that’s not the right word.” Alex tried to smile.

  “Alex, I am not laughing and this is not funny. I can’t believe you when out and bought a five- thousand-dollar piano for Carly and neglected to tell me!”

  “But, Reese, she needed one and we passed by this store and she loved this one and...”

  “And you bought it?” Reese stared at her, tapping her foot.

  “Yes, it kind of worked out that way.”

  “Alex, you can’t do this. We have to make these decisions together. That’s what parents do. They consult one another. I mean, suppose she wants a car one day and I get home there’s a new vehicle in the driveway? Alex, believe me you would be in for torture.” Reese stopped talking as soon as she realized that Alex was staring at her strangely. “What is it?”

  “You said that’s what parents do,” Alex repeated.

  “Yes, and?” Reese confirmed, more confused than ever.

  “You and me, Reese. You said yes! You finally said yes!” Alex shouted and took Reese into her arms. “You said yes!” she shouted. Reese looked at her and smiled as she shook her head. Alex put her finger under her chin and made her look into her eyes as those words rang through her heart. “You said yes,” she repeated. They both stood looking into the eyes of love.

  “Yes, Alex, yes,” and as she finished saying the words Alex’s mouth sealed their promise with a kiss.

  Chapter 10

  Alex had a smile on her face all day long. The changes that had taken place in her demeanor and character were so obvious that all the personnel at the law firm just stared when she passed by. Alex looked happy.

  “Hello, Alex,” Elliot said as he walked into her office and sat in the chair facing the front of her desk, prepared to get the truth about what was happening with her.

  “Good morning, Elliot,” Alex said cheerfully.

  “Okay, so spill it.”

  “Spill what?” Alex asked in confusion.

  “The smile on your face, the change in the last few weeks, everything.”

  “Elliot, I’m madly in love,” Alex said happily.

  “In love?”

  “Yes.”

  Elliot got up, walked around the office and then sat back down again. “With who? Do I know him?” Elliot asked seriously.

  “Yes, you know who it is.”

  “Who?” Elliot asked, waiting for the response.

  “You’ve met her several times, Elliot,” Alex said simply, waiting for Elliot’s response.

  He was silent, then got up again and paced around the office again before he sat back down. He looked at her and said nothing.

  “I guess that’s not the response I expected.” Alex tried to hide her disappointment.

  “Alex, I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to say. It’s the blonde, isn’t it?”

  “Her name is Reese Owens.”

  “She was at the fund-raiser with...” he trailed off.

  “With somebody else,” she finished for him.

  “That’s not what I meant…”

  “Yes, it is. That’s exactly what you meant.” Alex got up, walked over to her window. With her back to Elliot she said, “I guess I expected you to be there for me even in this, Elliot. I have known you since college, you weren’t just my partner in this law firm, I always saw you as my friend. You were my friend when I got married. You were my friend when I got divorced and you were my friend when I buried my son. I always thought you would be there like I was there when Mary left you.”

  “Alex...” Elliot began before falling silent. He remembered all those events in their lives. He especially remembered how supportive Alex had been when his wife of ten years just up and left him for someone else. Alex had been there to stop the gossip and put a gentle hand on his arm when the stress that followed filled his life. Ashamed, he asked himself why could he not support her in this.

  When Elliot said nothing more, Alex turned around and did not look at him as she sat down at her desk and started going through papers. “Well, that’s that. I really am busy, Elliot.”

>   He got up but before he walked out, he looked in her direction again. “I’m sorry, Alex.”

  She looked up. “I am too, Elliot.” She quickly went back to her paperwork. When she heard the door close, she looked up again at the door and her eyes misted over. “I’m sorry too, Elliot.” Alex whispered sadly.

  †

  “Reese, I’m glad for you. She is a very, very lucky lady,” Rose said as she gave her friend a hug.

  “Oh, Rose, she is everything I want and need. I have never felt anything for anyone close to what I feel for Alex,” Reese confided in her friend.

  “I can tell. Your face lights up when she enters a room, kiddo.”

  Reese smiled. “Yeah.”

  “Well, what are you guys planning and all that stuff?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, this means that you change things,” Rose said to a very confused Reese. “You know, Reese, you say yes and then dadum!”

  “What is dadum?”

  “Well, it usually means, you know, living together, inviting friends over for dinner, sharing a life, getting old, having grandchildren. But I think you start by living in the same house,” Rose finished with a chuckle.

  Reese sat down stunned. “My God!”

  “Yeah, it’s the big step, babe.”

  At that same moment, Alex burst into the living room. Both Alex and Reese stared at each other.

  Rose smiled. “I guess it hit you too, huh?” she said comically to the two lovers who were just standing there, looking at each other in shock.

  Alex looked at Rose and acknowledged Rose’s question with a nod then walked over to Reese. “I want to live with you yesterday,” Alex said simply.

  Reese smiled and nodded as well. “Okay.”

  “Your place or mine?” Alex asked as they got closer and closer to one another, oblivious of their friend now.

  “Wherever you want.”

  “Whatever makes you happy,” Alex replied, taking a step closer.

  “You make me happy.”

  “I love you,” Alex said, closing the distance and taking Reese in her arms for a kiss.

  “Well, you both love each other, but you still haven’t figured out where to live yet,” Rose said mostly to herself. Rose smiled and sat down, shaking her head. “I gotta tell you guys, you’re gonna have to talk more than this to plan a move.” Rose kept talking as the two continued kissing, oblivious to anyone but each other.

  †

  “Alexandra, what are your plans?” Kate asked with irritation.

  “What is it with everybody? Rose is on the same wavelength. Have you met Rose? Are you two clones or what?” Alex joked.

  “Seriously, Alex, what plans have you two made?”

  “We haven’t really made any concrete plans. I thought maybe a nice romantic dinner for two and we could discuss all the details,” Alex said with a smile.

  “Sounds perfect.”

  “Can you babysit Carly?”

  “Absolutely, she is a darling little thing, and Kevin loves to play with her. When?”

  “Is tonight too soon?”

  “Nope, perfect.”

  “Great, thanks, Kate.” Alex kissed her sister and started toward the door.

  “Alex?”

  Alex turned to face her sister. “Yeah?”

  “What about Mom and Dad?” Kate looked seriously at Alex.

  “They will never understand, Kate, you know that.”

  “I know. But, Alex, you have to tell them. Does Reese know what to expect with Mom and Dad?”

  “No, we haven’t really discussed her parents or mine.” Alex sat down.

  “Maybe you should,” Kate suggested gently.

  “What will I say to her? That they’d rather have me miserable and still be their perfect daughter than happy with her?” Alex said sarcastically.

  “Alex, you can tell her the truth and prepare her. She has a right to know.” Kate stepped next to her sister and put her hand lovingly on her shoulder. “Thanksgiving is just around the corner.”

  Alex looked up. “Oh God, I forgot about that.”

  “She will love you no matter what. Build this relationship on a strong foundation, Alex. That way it will always be strong even with Mom and Dad.”

  “I don’t know if anyone can survive Mom and Dad.” Alex could not hide her concern at the prospect of Reese meeting her parents.’

  “Reese is stronger than you think.”

  “How did you get so smart?” Alex asked her sister lovingly.

  “Always been this way,” Kate answered with a smile.

  “You are the best, Kate. The best… love you, you know.” Alex embraced her sister.

  Kate was at first taken by surprise but then her arms went around Alex as well. “I love you too, stinky.”

  Alex pulled away with a smile on her face. “Hey, you haven’t called me stinky in years.”

  “You haven’t been around in years,” Kate answered and hugged her sister again as she whispered, “Welcome back, Alexandra, I missed you.”

  †

  “I’ve met someone I love very much and who loves me,” Reese said. There was silence on the other end of the telephone. “Dad?”

  “Yes, I’m here. Do we know her?” Donald Owens asked apprehensively.

  “No, you don’t know her, Dad,” Reese said and was greeted again by silence from her father.

  “Well, I’m glad that you are happy, Reese.”

  “Are you, Daddy?” Reese asked, unable to control the sob that escaped her.

  “Yes, baby, I am. I know that I don’t always know what to say to you, but I am glad that you are happy.”

  “Thanks, Dad. I wish you could meet her. She is so wonderful. Carly adores her and she loves me. She really and truly loves me.” Reese stopped to take in a breath.

  “I’m glad, Reese. I’ll talk to Mom about her. You know she’ll be difficult about it, but she will come around. She always does. Well, I love you, baby.”

  “I love you too, Daddy, bye.” Reese hung up the telephone and stood for a moment in deep thought. They were wonderful people, her parents—loving and understanding as she and her sister Patricia had grown up. They had been so proud when she went to college and so disappointed when she had told them she was gay. Nothing had been the same after that. The pain of what she saw in her parents’ eyes still hurt.

  Somehow, the fact that she was gay erased all else that had preceded their knowing. Reese had to admit that she had expected a different reaction from them. She knew that, in some ways, they had cut some of the ties to her. Patricia, her sister, had dropped out of school and run off with a boy only to come back pregnant and alone. Reese had been there to support her and help her, making them closer to each other.

  After a year, Patricia did meet a nice young man, as her dad had put it, and settled down. Mark had been a good father to her nephew Christopher, and they now had two more children, Donny and Amanda.

  As the years passed by, her parents never had time to come and see her and Carly because they had gotten so involved with Patricia and their other grandchildren, and Reese had felt the slight more than once. Why did she care? Because I just do was the answer she always gave herself.

  She was suddenly surrounded by a warm body and pulled into a loving embrace.

  “Hello, lady,” a soft voice said into Reese’s ear.

  “Hello, stranger. I didn’t even hear you come in.” Reese leaned back into the comforting hold.

  “You seemed miles away.”

  “I was,” Reese said softly.

  Alex turned her around and pulled her to her again. Concerned, she asked, “Are you all right, love?”

  “I am now,” Reese said as she went deeper into Alex’s arms.

  Alex held her tighter. “What happened?”

  “I told my father about us.”

  “Oh? And what did he say?”

  “He’s glad that I’m happy, and that you are so wonderful, and that Carly is so h
appy…”

  Reese broke into tears and Alex pulled her closer and stroked her hair. “It’s all right, sweetness,” she whispered into Reese’s hair. “It will be all right.”

  “Alex, why can’t they just be glad that we’re happy?” Reese asked, now looking into Alex’s eyes.

  “I don’t know, Reese. I don’t know.”

  †

  “Hello, Mother,” Alex said politely.

  “Alexandra, what a wonderful surprise. How are you, dear?” Vanessa Masters asked her daughter.

  “Very well, thank you.”

  “How is your sister? I haven’t heard from her and have left several messages on that answering machine of hers.”

  “Katherine is fine.”

  “Good, tell her to call me. We plan to arrive a few days before Thanksgiving.”

  “I will pass that message to her, Mother.”

  “Now, why are you calling me, Alexandra? I know it must be important.”

  “Mother, I have met someone who makes me very happy and that I have fallen in love with,” Alex said, getting it off her chest before taking a deep breath.

  “Alexandra, that’s wonderful. I am so happy for you, my dear. Do we know him? What is his name? I hope we get to meet him for Thanksgiving.” Vanessa Masters asked in genuine interest.

  “Her name is Reese, and no, you don’t know her but I hope you get to meet her at Thanksgiving,” Alex said simply. The silence lasted a lifetime.

  Finally, Vanessa Masters carefully spoke. “I must have misunderstood what you said, Alexandra, I thought—”

  Alex cut her off, “No, Mother, you didn’t.”

  “Have you lost your mind,” Vanessa stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

  “Is that what you want to think? That I’m crazy? Would that make it okay, Mother? Would you rather I were crazy than happy?” Alex yelled into the telephone.

  “Don’t raise your voice with me, Alexandra! What have you been doing? I knew you were not well, but I didn’t realize that you had lost your hold on reality too,” exclaimed Vanessa Masters. “You are obviously not well, Alexandra!”