House Of Payne: Payne

by Stacy Gail

  “Yeah, well, reality can be a real bitch to handle.”

  “Preaching to the choir on that one.” She leaned back against the island, searching his face. “Why weren’t you going to tell me that you knew me from the crash?”

  “How should I have put it? ‘Hi, my former meth-head girlfriend sent you into a bridge, and to make up for it, I decided to check out every last little detail about you online.’ Yeah,” he snorted, rubbing a weary hand over his eyes. “That would have gone over well. Especially when I kept digging myself an ever-deepening hole.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He sighed and made to reach for her, only to pull away at the last minute with another pained grimace. “I only meant to check out who you were, Becks, and to see if you were okay. But then I kept checking on you. Every day I’d visit your online shop, looking for your latest work so I could study it. Study you. You create with your whole soul, and it’s so pure and beautiful, it almost hurts. I can feel all the emotion you try to convey in your work until it fills every corner of my mind. Just looking at your art… it made me feel more connected to you than anyone I’ve ever known. But I didn’t want to tell you that, because I didn’t want to freak you out. I mean, let’s face it—that sounds pretty damn stalker-like.”

  “For most people, maybe.” She smiled, absurdly touched. “But beneath all the PR and camera glare and celebrity that goes with being the force behind House Of Payne, you’re an artist, Payne. One of the most prolific, gifted artists I know. You can’t help but look at the world through the lens of an artist’s soul. If anything, I’m grateful my work speaks to you, just as your art speaks to me.”

  “Yeah?” Some of the tension drained out of him, and with a hint of a smile he offered her his hand. The smile bloomed into an all-out grin of relief when she took it, and he pulled her into his arms with a long sigh. “You are such a treasure to me, my sweet Becks. Thank you for understanding.”

  “Thank you for saving my life all those years ago.” She shook her head before resting it against his chest. “Man, life really knows how to throw a curveball, doesn’t it? All this time I’ve wondered how I’d gotten out of that car. It never once occurred to me that you were my guardian angel that night.”

  “I’m just sorry I never knew about your brother.”

  “You didn’t see him?”

  She felt him shake his head. “The interior of the car was so filled with smoke, I couldn’t even see your seatbelt buckle, which was only a few inches from my face. I had to feel around for it to undo it, all the while thinking the car was going to explode.”

  She shivered, humbled by the enormity of his actions. “What a nightmare for you to go through.”

  “We both went through it. Amazingly, we both survived.” He rubbed her back before coaxing her face to lift to his. “But it was so much harder for you, and tonight was the rotten cherry on top. That was one hell of a shit storm we went through in my office, baby. I need to know you’re okay.”

  “I’m…” An avalanche of possible answers clogged her brain until she finally gave up trying to sort it all out. “Overwhelmed.”

  He made a sound of concern and leaned in to kiss her hair. “I’ll bet.”

  “I never knew my father had been called to pick up Justin. No one ever told me.”

  “Yeah, no surprise there. If they’d told you about that, they might have been forced to admit they’d dodged their parental responsibility. Obviously it was so much more comfortable to dump all their guilt on you and leave it at that.”

  “I think that’s part of what’s pushed my father into a dark little world that’s not connected to reality anymore. Somewhere inside he’s got to feel responsible, but he’s too weak to face it. I never thought I’d say this, but I feel sorry for him.” She smiled wryly. “Just not sorry enough to ever want to see him again.”

  “I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that. I don’t think I’d be able to handle the thought of having your parents over for Thanksgiving dinner or summer get-togethers on the lake. My bullshit tolerance doesn’t stretch that far.”

  That casual reference to a long future together reminded her of how lonely the last few days had been. Now, with the revelations of the night rocking her world more than ever, she needed to at least put that insecurity to rest. “Um,” she began, pushing against his chest to gain some distance so she could look him in the eye. “Listen, I’d like to talk to you about—”

  His arms tightened, keeping her plastered against his front. “You can talk to me right where you are.”

  So much for distance. “I know you were juggling both the exhibit and preparing to confront this whole mess, but I’m still not clear why you were avoiding me. Which I hated, by the way,” she added, in case that wasn’t obvious. “I didn’t know I could be in the same house with someone and miss them like they were on another planet.”

  “Causing you more pain was the last thing I wanted to do.” With breathless tenderness, he cupped her head in his hands and cherished her lips with his. “I was busy, yes, and I don’t think I’ve had more than six hours’ worth of sleep in the past seventy-two. But we both know I could have made time to be with you, and I almost did after you showed me my finished portrait. Which I love,” he added, again tightening his arms. “I’ve never known a more talented artist than you, Becks.”

  “Glad you like it.” But she was focused on other things at the moment. “Why didn’t you make the time to be with me?”

  “I couldn’t make myself do it, baby.”

  If he’d stabbed her, it couldn’t have hurt any worse. “Why?”

  “I didn’t think I had the right. I needed to understand all the facts of what happened that night before I came to you and revealed everything. And even when I did get everything finalized earlier today, I admit I was worried. I wasn’t sure you would believe that until the night of your tattoo session, I had no fucking clue your kid brother had died in that accident, or that you had been unjustly blamed for his death.” He rested his brow against hers, his head bowed as if in pain. “I can’t stand to even think about what you’ve been through. For years you’ve been so cruelly punished for something that wasn’t your fault. I feel responsible for that. By all rights, you should hate me.”

  Dear God, how was it possible for him to be so wonderful and so exasperating all at the same time? It had to be a special talent. “You saved my life, you idiot.”

  “Anyone would have done that.”

  “Payne, you ran to a burning car you thought was going to blow up in your beautiful face, and you refused to leave until you had me out of there. And you’ve done so much more than that since then.” A wave of emotion surged through her, so raw in its intensity it was a sweet kind of anguish to bear. She had to swallow hard against the lump in her throat before she could go on. “You’ve continued to save me in so many beautiful ways that it staggers me. Just by being the good man you are, you’ve restored my faith in people. You made me remember how much I love to laugh. You’ve given me the courage to hope for the future. To hope for a future with you. I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. I…” The words wanted out, so much they burned.

  I love you, I love you, I love you…

  But she was so, so scared she wouldn’t hear them back.

  “The one great thing about tonight is that I understand you so much better now that I’ve seen you with your parents.” With a smile so warm it pierced her heart, he kissed her again before wrapping her up in a bear hug. “It hurts me to think your own mom was so frigging weak she couldn’t even find the guts to tell you that she loved you. You deserve to be loved by those who are fucking proud to shout about it at the top of their lungs, rather than whisper it in shame.”

  She tried to shrug away the ancient hurt. “Old news. Doesn’t matter anymore.”

  “Love always matters, baby. So I hope you won’t think I’m too loud, because…” He cleared his throat, looked up at the cathedral ceiling and bellowed, “I love
you, Becks!”

  Holy crap, her ears…

  Wait.

  The words rang around the massive, empty house in dying echoes, proving to her that she hadn’t dreamed them. Her breath caught and her eyes snapped up to his. Even then she half-expected him to take the words back. “What?”

  He lifted a brow. “Seriously? You didn’t hear me? Okay, then. Let’s do it this way.” Picking her up where she stood, Payne moved to a set of French doors past the breakfast nook and stepped out onto a back patio overlooking the moon-washed icescape of Lake Michigan. She tried not to shiver as he deposited her on the patio’s concrete edge, before he stepped out onto the blue-white blanket of snow and headed half a dozen paces away.

  What the hell…

  He turned back to face her. His dark jeans and jacket cut a stark black slash against the frozen white background, and his breath made white vapor streams before him. “Ready?”

  “Uh… yeah.” No doubt tomorrow she’d come up with something way more awesome than that to say, but for now that was all she had.

  “Great.” Again he cleared his throat, took a deep breath and cupped his hands around his mouth. “I LOVE YOU, BECKS DELGADO. I’VE BEEN FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU FOR FOUR YEARS, AND I’LL LOVE YOU UNTIL THE DAY I DIE. WILL YOU MARRY ME?”

  The breath left her in the form of a single burst of giddy laughter. Payne loved her. No, it was more than that. He didn’t just love her. He loved her enough to shout about it like a freaking lunatic. And miracle of miracles, loving her seemed to make him happy. So happy, in fact, that he wanted to share the rest of his life with her. That meant a future. That could even mean…

  Forever.

  Thanks to Payne, she could once again believe in forever.

  Wetness slipped from her eyes to streak scorching twin paths down her chilled cheeks. With another laugh she ignored them and cupped her hands around her mouth. “YES, SEBASTIAN PAYNE. I’LL MARRY YOU, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, AND I BELIEVE IN YOU. YOU’RE MY WHOLE HEART, AND YOU ALWAYS WILL BE.” Then she lowered her hands to press them to her thudding chest, smiling tremulously as her eyes continued to overflow. “Always.”

  His brilliant grin glowed in the bluish moonlight, and she knew he understood the significance behind the word she’d refused to believe in for so long. Before he could say anything, however, another voice sounded farther down the shore.

  “I’M VERY HAPPY FOR YOU BOTH AND WE’LL CELEBRATE PROPERLY TOMORROW WITH A CHAMPAGNE BRUNCH. BUT COULD YOU KEEP IT DOWN FOR NOW, PLEASE? MOST PEOPLE SLEEP THIS TIME OF NIGHT.”

  “Sorry, Andreas.” Looking as though he didn’t know whether to cringe or laugh, Payne did a little of both as he made his way back to her. Being folded into his arms was like coming home, and as they headed back into the warmth of the house, she knew it would be like that for the rest of their lives. “He’s really happy about this, you know. I’ve been babbling about you for years, so he’s probably relieved I finally moved off the dime.”

  The very thought sent her soul soaring. “I have high hopes of making you babble for many, many years to come, so Andreas isn’t off the hook.”

  “Ah, a life full of babbling, and a no-longer-empty house that’s going to be full of love.” He kissed her again as he guided her toward the stairs. “Geez, I’m looking forward to it all. Can you picture what our future is going to be like, Becks?”

  For an instant she thought back to the moment when she first toured his house, and remembered how its empty spaces needed to ring with the happy chaos of kids and creativity and endless amounts of laughter. This was a place ready to accept a wondrous world of life.

  With Payne beside her, she was finally ready to live it.

  “Oh, yes,” she smiled, a thrill of excitement zipping through her at all the things to come. “I can definitely picture our future together.”

  Epilogue

  Several years later

  “Guess how old I am today?” Mia yelled happily, all the while flailing around a purple balloon.

  “Umm… let me think.” Tying a small bouquet of purple and white balloons to the last chair set up in the cleared-out family room next to the kitchen, Becks straightened and stretched her back. Her baby bump, three months along and going strong, was small but unmistakable. Unlike her other pregnancies when she hadn’t known a thing about the baby on board, she knew exactly what she carried under her heart, and she hadn’t been able to stop smiling since she got the news. “Wait a second. Is today your birthday?”

  “It is!” Mia giggled like the hyped-up wild child she was while the balloon went into super-flaily blur mode. “I’m six today, Auntie Becks!”

  It seemed like just yesterday she’d been changing her little Hazmat diapers. “You’re kidding, really? That’s terrific! You’re getting to be such a big girl, gorgeous.”

  “I know, I’m a big girl.” The doorbell suddenly chimed throughout the house, and it sent Mia into an ecstasy of squeals. “I’ll get it!”

  “Let’s let Gabriel or your daddy or Uncle Payne get it, okay? That’s their job today.”

  “Okay.” But Mia scampered off anyway, no doubt just as anxious to see Gabriel, Andreas’s son, as much as her party guests. From her first word—kisses—Mia had flirted with every male she came across, and they all fell for her like a ton of bricks. For Becks, in a household brimming over with men, it was hilarious to see every single one of them jump to do Princess Mia’s adorable bidding.

  As she followed in the little girl’s wake just to make sure someone bigger than a kindergartener was minding the door, she spotted her oldest sitting near the as-yet undecorated Christmas tree temporarily taking up space in the formal living room. As soon as Mia’s party was over, it would be moved into the family room’s bay window overlooking the now-fenced backyard play area and the cold gray lake beyond.

  Just like she’d imagined it.

  “Angus,” she said, and the mom-tone made the four-year-old almost drop the cupcake he was busily licking the icing off of. “That’s not one of Mia’s party cupcakes, is it, bud?”

  “No, Momma. It’s blue, see?” He held it up for evidence, though his blue-tinted lips, teeth and tongue would have done just as good a job. “Andreas made us boy cupcakes so we wouldn’t have to eat the girl cupcakes. Daddy had one too.”

  “That was seriously awesome of Andreas.” And it also meant there was every chance her husband now had a blue-tinted mouth without knowing it. She smirked and wondered if she could get a picture of it before it faded. “Where’s your brother?”

  “Under the tree.”

  Her eyes widened and she looked quickly to the tree, which was doing an odd shimmy. “What in the world is he doing under the tree?”

  “I told him that’s where the presents go. Isn’t that right, Momma?”

  “Hi, Momma!” With blue smeared all over his face, a dark head with hazel eyes popped up. Axl’s second birthday had been last month, and since it had been near Halloween they had used the holiday as a theme for his party. She only hoped today’s partygoers didn’t wander into the guest bedroom where she still had a mummy, a cemetery’s worth of gravestones and a battalion of bats that hadn’t yet made it up into the attic’s storage.

  “Sweetheart.” Not sure whether to laugh or groan, she went to a knee to pluck Axl up. He instantly gave her a messy kiss, smelling of sugary icing and pine needles. She had no doubt that her youngest’s kiss had turned at least some of her cheek blue, so she went ahead and gave both her boys kisses. There were worse things in the world than having a blue-smeared face. “Guys, once we get the tree decorated, that’s when the presents start to show up. And since I know for a fact you two have been super-good this year, Santa Claus is sure to bring you lots and lots of wonderful things. But that happens next month, okay?”

  “Toys!” Axl screamed.

  “Next month is forever away.” Agonized by this news as only a four-year-old can be, Angus regarded his cupcake like it had done him dirty. “How many days until next mont
h, Momma?”

  “Once we get past this party and Thanksgiving on Thursday, we’ll start counting down the days, okay?”

  “Okay!” Axl, happy to agree with anything, shouted in her ear.

  Axl had yet to discover his indoor voice, but Becks lived in hope.

  Hefting him onto a hip that seemed to have disappeared overnight, she guided Angus to the foyer, already crowded with a mish-mash of people. Both Thomas and Claire were greeting the friends and family they’d invited to Mia’s party, while Gabriel took the brightly wrapped presents to stack them on a side table in the prepared family room. With all the parties they wound up hosting throughout the year—Claire’s family celebrations had merged with Becks’s and Payne’s somewhere along the way—they now had this routine down pat. Kids weaved in and out of the adults as they hugged, kissed and shook hands in greeting, and amid the laughter and general chaos, she spotted her husband coming from the kitchen area, toward the foyer. He was still chewing on something, and she was pretty sure she knew what it was when he caught her looking at him and smiled with vaguely blue-tinged teeth.

  Ha!

  “Becks. Baby.” Payne hurried over to her to pluck Axl out of her arms, turning quickly to intercept his youngest son’s enthusiastic greeting kiss. “I thought we agreed you wouldn’t lift anything too heavy since El Bumpo’s decided to do an early takeover.”

  “As I recall, you said that was how it was going to go and didn’t leave it open for a whole lot of discussion.” But when the man was right, he was right, so she hugged him and reminded herself she had it good. “And I love to snuggle with my boys, you know that.”

  “You can snuggle your brains out while lying down and not hefting them around.” Payne curled his free arm around her shoulders and bent to the side to give her a kiss—a sweet, icing-tinted kiss that made her smile against his lips. “What? Thinking about snuggling with me later tonight? Because that’s what I’m thinking about.”