Single, Available, and Completely Attached

by Michelle Brewer

  ~*~

  It was Saturday afternoon before Anna heard from Drew—and she had to give him credit for breaking the silence first.

  It wasn’t that she was mad at him—she just didn’t really know what she was supposed to say. So when he messaged her asking to meet him at a park not all that far from her house, she had hesitated for a long moment before agreeing.

  She pulled on her winter coat, gloves, and a gray knit hat she wore only when she was going to be out in the cold for a lengthy amount of time, and made the quick walk to the park.

  Drew was already there. He was sitting on a bench, a steaming cup in his hand and another beside him. As she approached, he stood up, holding one of the cups out to her. “Thanks,” she told him, taking a seat. He sat down beside her.

  “It’s hot chocolate.” He informed her and Anna’s only response was a nod as she took a small sip, testing the temperature. “So…I just…you know, we should probably talk.”

  “Probably.” She agreed, nodding again.

  “It would help if you gave more-than-one-word responses.” Drew said after a second.

  “I…I just don’t really know what to say.”

  “Me either.” Drew sighed, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw him take a drink of his hot chocolate. “Okay, I’ll start first…we didn’t use any, ah…”

  “Oh,” Anna was grateful for the cold. Her cheeks were already pink from the chill, so her blush would easily go unnoticed. “Right, well I’ve been on the pill since I was seventeen…and unless you know something about Jeff that I don’t—”

  “That’s just—you know, that’s not something I usually let slide.” He said, and Anna only nodded. The air around them was so thick with awkward tension, Anna almost felt as if she was suffocating.

  “I’m not mad at you.” She finally blurted out. “I knew what I was doing. I know I’m the one who started it all—”

  “I could have stopped it—”

  “Then I probably would be mad at you.” Anna sighed heavily, finally turning to face Drew. “Look, Drew. I’m not…I’m not looking for a relationship or anything like that.”

  “Oh, I’m not either—”

  “I know you’re not. Jeff always said—” Anna broke off, realizing she probably shouldn’t continue that sentence.

  “What did Jeff say?” Drew pressed. When Anna didn’t answer, he asked again.

  “He always said the quickest way to chase you away was to have sex with you.” Anna told him, shrugging. It felt strange to talk about Jeff, especially in the midst of their current conversation. Drew nodded, taking a drink from his cup. Anna decided to continue on.

  “I’ve been lonely for a really long time, Drew. Even before Jeff left for Chicago…something was missing there. It wasn’t right, and I wasn’t happy for a long time before I ended things. I didn’t want to hurt him. I just…I couldn’t go on like that, you know? So I ended things. And now I’m just as lonely as I was before, only I feel a little less bitter about it.”

  Anna sighed. “All I want is someone to keep me company—and, much to my surprise, I kind of enjoy yours.”

  “The feeling is quite mutual,” he responded.

  “So…can we just agree that whatever happened probably shouldn’t have? And maybe just move on?”

  “That depends…are you sure you’ll be able to resist all of this?” He offered her that charming grin she was sure he used on every single woman he’d ever met, and she couldn’t help but giggle a little.

  “I think I’ll manage. It’s you I’m worried about.” Anna told him.

  “Me? Hey, I’ve gotten it out of my system. You’re pretty much a guy at this point.” She leaned over and nudged him playfully with her shoulder, and the scent of his cologne mingled with his shampoo wafted over her.

  She remembered tangling her hands in his hair as he kissed her stomach, trailing lower…

  And then she pushed it away, forcing the smile on her lips.

  “Good, that’s exactly what I want to hear.”

  Because even though she was lying now, she hadn’t been lying just moments before. She didn’t want to lose him, and if anyone knew Drew—it was Jeff. She wasn’t willing to trade the friendship that was budding between them for something she knew wouldn’t last.

  She had come to care about him just a little bit more than she was willing to admit, and the thought of losing that…

  No, it wasn’t even worth considering. No matter how incredible he could make her feel.

  Because passion was fleeting—wasn’t that what he’d said? Passion was fleeting.

  And Anna had a feeling that whatever they had outside of passion—that was something worth sacrificing a few moments of pleasure for.

  ~*~

  Despite their best efforts, Anna had to admit that things had remained a little bit on the tense side following their talk. They’d had to ease back into things—and at first, it seemed like she and Drew didn’t see each other at all. She recalled texting each other as they watched 360 in their own respective homes and giving each other a hard time about video games that they hadn’t yet played.

  Eventually, though, things leveled out again. He took her to a concert he’d been “forced” to attend for work (what a sacrifice, she’d told him), and they’d spent an evening in front of the TV at her house to watch their favorite crime show together, rather than texting about it.

  And then the lunches had resumed, and then he’d challenged her to another game night…

  And everything was normal, just the way it had been before. Except for the occasional memory lapse, when she would slip and allow herself to remember what it had felt like to have his hands on her, or—

  But then she would catch herself.

  “Hah, take that!” Drew cried excitedly and she shook herself back to the present. He’d just blown her up.

  “Oh, that was lucky—I had something in my eye—”

  “Yeah, yeah, call it what you want, but I won that one fair and square.” She wasn’t sure exactly how fair it was, considering she’d been distracted by a memory of his talents…but she couldn’t very well admit to that, could she?

  “Fine, let’s go again.”

  “Oh, how I wish we could.” Anna tensed at his comment, turning her head very slowly in his direction, an eyebrow raised. “Sorry,” his grin was wicked. “But I’ve got to work in the morning, and I can’t show up late again, or else Dave will be sure to convince the world that I’m practically married by now.”

  “Well we can’t have that, can we?” She tossed the remote onto the coffee table in front of them, recalling the show the morning after their last…encounter. Dave had certainly been playing detective.

  “What about Saturday night?”

  “I can’t,” she felt her cheeks burn.

  “You can’t? Something at the center?”

  “No…” Anna rose to her feet and turned her back, acting as if she was looking around for something. “I have a date.”

  “Oh, really? A date?” She nodded her head as she picked up her coat, finally turning around to face him.

  “One of the accountants from City Hall asked me to dinner.”

  “So this is a real date?” Though his voice betrayed nothing, she couldn’t help but sense something had shifted. He rose to his feet, almost as if to distract himself.

  “He’s picking me up and everything.”

  “Well, isn’t that fancy.”

  Anna shrugged her shoulder. “I figured I should maybe start dating. A girl has needs, you know.” She couldn’t help but take the shot, even though she knew it was wrong.

  “Oh, I’m fully aware.” He held her eyes just long enough to make her blush and she turned back around, heading toward the door. “Hold on, I’ll walk you out.”

  “You don’t have to.” But even as she said the words, he was already tying his shoes. They walked in silence until they reached Anna’s car.

  “Well, I hope your date goes well.” He f
inally told her.

  “Should I text you outfit pictures?”

  “I would appreciate that on several different levels, Annabelle.” She grinned at him before opening the car door.

  “Good night, Drew.”

  “Good night.” She climbed in the car and started it up, listening to it complain for a moment before finally putting it into drive. She waved at Drew, who stood where she’d left him, and he waved back.

  As she climbed into bed that night, she remembered the wicked grin he’d flashed at her, and in spite of herself, she felt her heart beat quicken ever-so-faintly.

  This date she was going on—it was a good idea. She needed to distract herself from those kind of thoughts, because if she didn’t…

  An image of Drew standing just in front of her, jeans undone, perfectly formed chest bare and exposed…

  She really wasn’t sure how much longer she was going to be able to hold out.

  ~*~

  It was Saturday night, and Drew had already had a few drinks. He was back to his usual Saturday night, before Anna had been forced into his world.

  But it felt different.

  There was a girl sitting at the bar a few seats down from him, and he did what he normally did and bought her a drink. She sidled up alongside him after a few minutes, and he tried to focus on her, but he kept getting distracted every time he saw a blonde-haired girl in the crowd.

  He ordered a shot for himself, and another drink for the girl, determined to make this work exactly like it used to. He needed this much more than he was willing to admit.

  Anna had followed through with her word. She’d sent him a picture, before she went out. Though the girl beside him was still talking, he couldn’t help but pull his phone out and glance at the picture.

  She was wearing a dress—blue, from what he remembered. She had a funny little smile on her face—like she was feeling silly, and nervous, and maybe just a little embarrassed.

  Drew really liked that smile.

  Until he remembered that it wasn’t really for him, and then he decided that he definitely didn’t like that smile.

  The pretty girl stirred the ice in her empty glass and Drew, recognizing the cue, ordered another drink and another shot.

  He was planning to get good and drunk.

  His phone vibrated and he should have been embarrassed by how quickly he retrieved it, his hopes soaring right alongside his fears.

  But it was nothing—some breaking news alert from ESPN. He sighed, shoving the phone back in his pocket.

  Time seemed to be going very slowly—and all Drew wanted was for it to be over.

  Finally, though, he just couldn’t stand it any longer. He tossed several bills on the counter without so much as uttering a word to the girl he’d just spent a ridiculous amount of money on drinks for, his mind on one thing and one thing only.

  But as soon as he sat down behind the wheel of his SUV, he knew it was a terrible idea to even try to drive. He sighed, dropping his head against the headrest.

  The way he saw it, he had two options. He could call a taxi, which was not only the responsible thing to do, but the wisest thing as well.

  Or…

  Drew pulled his phone from his pocket and stared at it for a long moment, weighing the pros and cons.

  Calling Anna was responsible. So he might be interrupting her date…

  Then again, if it was still going on at this point, maybe he should be interrupting. He didn’t like the thought of some accountant putting his hands all over Anna.

  He wasn’t all that fond of thinking about anyone putting their hands on Anna, now that he was thinking about it.

  He much preferred remembering how wonderful it had been for him.

  Before he could stop himself, he had unlocked his phone and swiped his thumb across the screen, already dialing her. It rang a number of times before going to voicemail and Drew sighed.

  “Heeelllloo, Annabelle. Drew here. Your friend. You know the one. Anyway, I was only calling because, if you couldn’t tell already…I am drunk. And I mean drunk.” He paused. “So I was trying to be responsible and call a friend, which is you, because Jeff is in Chicago, and that’s too far.” He sighed again. “Anyway, I’m probably interrupting, so—”

  A beep sounded and he pulled the phone away. Her name showed up on the screen. “Oh, well, you’re calling me. So I’ll just talk to you now.” He ended the current call and switched lines. “Good evening, Miss Annabelle.”

  “You sound like you’re having one.” He grinned, happy to hear her voice.

  “I was just leaving you a message.”

  “I just got it.” She told him, a lightness in her voice. He wasn’t sure if he liked that or not.

  “Did you want to listen to it?”

  “You could just tell me what you wanted, for the sake of convenience.”

  “Oh, right. Well, I was simply calling because I wanted to be responsible about my situation.”

  “Do you need me to come pick you up?”

  “It would be advisable for you to.” He paused, remembering she’d been on a date. “Unless I’m interrupting, because then—then I suppose I would have to find alternate transportation.”

  As soon as he said the words, he knew that he wasn’t going to like himself very much in the morning. Drew had never been the type to play games, but for some reason, he felt the need to remind Anna that he was just as available as she was—just as capable of finding someone else to pass the evening with.

  Anna sighed loudly, and for a moment, he wondered if he really had interrupted. “Where are you?”

  “You, Annabelle, are a wonderful friend.”

  “Yeah, yeah.”

  He told her what bar he was at, which was really closer to her house than to his. It didn’t take her long to arrive, and when she did, he climbed into the passenger seat of the car. She was still dressed in that blue dress she’d been wearing in the picture, and he could smell the subtle scent of her perfume.

  She looked nice.

  “Well, either he was terrible, or he was an idiot.” Drew stated as she turned out of the parking lot, heading back in the direction of her house.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because. Only an idiot would let a date with a girl in that dress end before midnight. Or, he was just so terrible that you ended the date—which is what I’d put money on, if I were a betting man.”

  “Or, my drunken friend called in the middle of our date and totally cock-blocked the both of us.” She glanced at him quickly, and he couldn’t tell if she was serious or not.

  “That’s always an option, too.”

  “Do you know what I think?” she asked.

  “What’s that?”

  “I think you just wanted to check up on me.” Drew made noise that would suggest she was being silly.

  “Well, that’s an option, too. But not one I would bet on, if I were you. Don’t forget, Annabelle—I’m still a selfish jerk at heart.”

  At least that wasn’t a lie. He had called her out of his own selfish desire to disrupt her date. That couldn’t be denied.

  They were silent for the last few minutes of the ride, and as soon as they entered the house, Anna disappeared upstairs to change. Drew removed his jacket and made himself comfortable on the couch.

  When she returned, her hair was up, and she was wearing a t-shirt that looked vaguely familiar along with some sweatpants.

  “Is that my shirt?” He narrowed his eyes as he tilted his head, and he was suddenly very sure that it was his shirt. “That is my shirt.”

  “It’s comfortable.” She shrugged a shoulder and sat down on the couch, keeping her distance from him as she flipped on the TV.

  “So, how was your date?” The not knowing was starting to irk him a little—which probably meant that he should purposely avoid the question, but Drew was always a glutton for punishment.

  “Do you really want to know? Or are you just asking to be polite?”

 
“I’m genuinely interested.” He grabbed the remote and turned the TV down a few notches. Images of previous encounters on this couch crossed his mind—he remembered sitting beside her, the tension overwhelming them. And he remembered sitting across from her, her foot in his lap.

  Focus, Drew.

  “It was…”

  “That bad?”

  “I wouldn’t say it was bad, no.” He didn’t like that. He knew it shouldn’t matter, but he just didn’t like it, and because he was drunk, he felt like he could easily admit that to himself.

  Not to her, though.

  “Personally, I think dating is overrated. I mean, really.” He told her.

  “Tell me more.”

  “Well, it’s like you said. Relationships are stupid.”

  “I think you said that.” She told him.

  “Because it’s true.” Drew sighed. “It should just be about…passion.” He raised his eyes to meet hers, because he knew that she knew what he was talking about. What they’d had that night a few weeks ago—that was exactly what life was supposed to be about.

  “But passion is fleeting.”

  “Yeah, but it’s nice while it lasts.”

  “And then what are you left with?” It felt like a slap in the face. Drew felt his smile falter, and he wondered what he would be left with.

  He didn’t want to end up like his dad, he knew that. But wasn’t that where he was heading?

  He thought of the man he’d never really known—the man he’d watched treat women as if they were disposable, who hadn’t cared about anyone other than himself.

  The man who’d died all alone.

  “That is a very good question.” He told her and Anna sighed, crossing the room to grab a pillow from the couch he’d tossed his jacket onto. She handed it to him. “The couch?”

  “Well, I’m most certainly not going to trust you to share my bed again.”

  “But just think about how much fun we had last time…”

  “Oh, I don’t think I need any reminders.” He grinned at her as she turned away, heading back toward the stairs. He stood up and took a few steps toward her.

  “Hey, Annabelle?” When she turned around, he caught her by the wrist and pulled her close to him, bringing his lips to hers.