Beautiful Monster

by Forrest, Bella

  “Can we?” I asked, meaning a million different things. Up close, he was even more gorgeous; his eyes glinting in the soft sunlight; his hair perfectly styled; his skin glowing with our passion. He shrugged, with a small smile.

  “I make the rules around here,” he said, leaning back to sit on the desk. “And I don’t see why not. As long as you don’t publicly announce it.”

  “I guess I’ll cancel the National Press conference at 9 then.” I said. A cheeky grin spread across my face and he nipped at my lips again, with a good-natured growl.

  “I’ve never done this before, Amy,” he said, reading my mind. “It’s not like with every new wave of students I find myself a hot date.”

  “I’ve never had a hot date…or a date…” I looked away, embarrassed. He smiled, gently, brushing hair back from my forehead.

  “Well, then this will be a first time for both of us, won’t it?” I nodded. “Although…Amy, we should lay down some ground rules.”

  “Like what?” I asked, hesitant to hear the answer. My heart was beating a million miles a minute at the sheer excitement of the situation. Liam thought a moment, before responding. More than anything, I wanted him to kiss me again, to take me in his arms. It was hard to focus, staring at his beauty and knowing now that I could have it if I wanted.

  “We have to be careful where we are seen. Of course, there are things we won’t be able to avoid. Like the fact that I can’t take my eyes off you in class.” The statement made me blush, and I looked down. “But we must be careful about chatting too much in the hallways, or before or after class.” I nodded, agreeing to this. “Also, we must be careful where we are seen. I know a way to your dorm…If you wanted to have dinner there, or perhaps my office…No one will question a new student wanting to spend extra hours catching up.”

  “But maybe we should do things off campus?” I suggested, getting into the spirit of things.

  “Far off campus,” he nodded, agreeing. “I have a car, there’s a place a few towns over. But my celebrity status doesn’t allow for much privacy. Perhaps you’ll have to wait a few years if you want to stroll down the streets hand in hand.”

  The fact that he was already talking about our future sent a warm feeling through my body, and I grinned.

  “I think I can manage that,” I said, with a nod, although part of me had forgotten he was a celebrity. Since I had gotten to know him, he was just Liam, the headmaster, my teacher, and now, my boyfriend. He grinned.

  “Good,” he said, standing up. “Shall I see you tonight then? You have a lot to catch up on. But perhaps we also have a lot to catch up on. I would like to know everything about you, Amy. Your hopes, your dreams, your aspirations. What you want from the world, and from life.”

  “I …” I paused, trying to think of answers to those questions. When none came, I leaned in again, and kissed him. He placed his hands on my waist, gripping me tightly.

  “And I would like to know about you,” I whispered, looking up to meet his eyes. Already, as if by magic, I could see a different person from the celebrity the whole world thought that they knew.

  And so this was how the next few weeks panned out. Secret meetings, early morning rendezvous, empty classrooms and dark hallways. But it wasn’t all passion and fire. One morning, I opened my door to check for the daily school paper that was left at all the dorm rooms. Instead, I found a small item, wrapped in the daily paper.

  Curious, I picked it up, looking up and down the hallways. However, there was no one there. Opening the package, a smile spread over my face. It was a tiny plastic Oscar, with my name sharpied onto it. I rolled my eyes, laughing a bit as I turned it over in my hand. On the bottom, a sharpied heart was drawn. To my right, I heard a noise and looked up, with a smile.

  “Creative,” I said, as Liam approached out of nowhere as usual. He smiled, looking around to double check that the hallways were empty. And then, he kissed the top of my head, leading me into my dorm room.

  “I thought you would appreciate that,” he said, bending in for a deeper kiss. I sighed happily, putting my arms around him. He smelled good, like wood smoke and whisky, something I couldn’t describe but was instantly addicted to. His tongue explored my mouth, and the intense passion in the early morning caused me to stumble. Before I knew it, we were pressed against a wall, my breath coming in gasps. With a devilish smile, he pulled back. “Good morning.”

  “Good morning,” I said, sitting on my bed. He sat beside me, pulling open the brown bag he had been holding. From inside it wafted breakfast smells and he produced blueberry muffins. “Did you harass my father as soon as he got in the door? Only he makes these.”

  “I did. Perks of being headmaster,” he replied, settling back against my headboard and taking a bite. He closed his eyes, and I watched his face a moment.

  “You look tired,” I said, and he opened his eyes.

  “Mmm. Rough night.”

  “Doing what?” I asked, and Liam shrugged.

  “Wild partying, obviously,” he said, although I could tell his tone was sarcastic. I could tell he didn’t want me to pry, and so I didn’t. I moved up beside him, biting into the familiar taste.

  “Yeah, me too,” I replied and he laughed. “Are you alright, though?”

  “Fine now that I’m sitting beside you.” He gave me a lazy smile, leaning his head against mine. “There used to be a time when a night of…that was all that would satisfy me. But now, I look forward to breakfast with you a lot more.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, and he shrugged, taking my hand and squeezing it.

  “You’re all that need right now,” he replied, and I felt like nothing else mattered in the world but me at that moment.

  “Do you believe in love?” I blurted out, and Liam turned to me, sharply. “Hypothetically, of course. In general. I’m not going all serious on you.”

  “I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t. I haven’t…before. You?”

  “I think there are many cases of love in the world,” I said. “But…I don’t think true love is true until it’s returned. So you can be in love…but not until the other person returns it does it become real.”

  “And you’ve seen this?” He asked, fixated on my eyes. I didn’t want to move, locked in his gaze.

  “Not seen, not really. But heard about it. My parents … everyone talked about them. And my dad still talks about my mom like she’s around. Not in a creepy way. She was the love of his life. She still is. And…” I traced a pattern on my bedspread, looking away. “Romeo loved Juliette, but it wasn’t true love until she started paying attention. So you can be in love … but not true love?” I shrugged, embarrassed by my girly outpour of feelings. But Liam just took my chin, making me look at him again.

  “That was beautiful, Amy. And probably right.” He kissed the top of my head, and then wrapped his arms around me, pulling me tight. I shifted so I was on top of him, and he grinned like I had just given him award. Compared to his body, I was small and thin, and I found a way to fit perfectly on top of him. When I was with him, I tried to forget all the things we couldn’t do, and instead focused on all the things we could do. The sandwiches quickly forgotten, our kisses led to wandering hands, up and down each other’s bodies.

  Other times, it wasn’t so serious. I remember walking into the theater early one morning, for Beauty and the Beast rehearsal, when I heard someone whisper my name. I spun around, but there was no one there.

  Amy came the voice again, and I looked up, my heart thudding with fear. But again, there was nothing.

  “Hello?” I called, slowly walking towards the stage.

  AMMMY. The voice got a little louder, and seemed to be coming from all around me. I took a deep breath, climbing onto the stage. Up there, I felt like I could see everything, and I was safe.

  “Who’s there? Who is this? Whoever it is, this isn’t funny.”

  “Amy, you are destined for the stage.”

  The voice was echoing and bouncing
off the walls. It was a man that was all I could indentify. Alone in the theater, I don’t think I had ever been so scared. I put my hands at my sides, as if any amount of foreign space would open me for danger.

  “How do you know?” I asked, looking up into the skylights.

  “Because I’m watching.” Came the echo and I buried my head in my hands. Stories of Phantom of the Opera that we read in class last week, along with real theater ghost stories, came flooding back to my mind.

  “And also…” the voice echoed, coming from all around me. “You are destined to not do your homework tonight.”

  I froze, pulling my hands away. A light came on in the projector booth, and Liam popped his head out.

  “…because we’re having dinner.”

  “I HATE YOU!” I screamed at him, half laughing. Liam leaned against the balcony railing with a seductive smile on his face.

  “So what do you think of our new sound system? It’s all for the show.”

  “Argh, you.” I tried to compose myself, but it was impossible with Liam looking down on me like that. “Come down here so I can punish you.”

  “I like the sound of that,” he grinned, moving down the stairs. I stalked towards him, but he caught me in his arms, causing a giggle to escape from my lips. “So tell me how you are going to punish me.”

  “I’m not. Going. To. Kiss. You. All. Day.” It was hard to get out in-between his onslaught of kisses, but I finally managed. “I swear it.”

  “Then I shall turn to dead at nightfall, my love,” he said, giving me an old fashioned bow. I rolled my eyes, heading back to the stage.

  “Come on, Liam, let’s rehearse.”

  There was one night however, that would stick in my mind forever.

  We had a half day at school one Friday and Liam and I had long since agreed to spend the rest of the day together. However, it wasn’t until nearly three o’clock that he knocked on my door.

  I opened the door quickly, and he practically threw himself in. We had to be careful not to let anyone see him entering my dorm room too frequently. Already, questions were arising and the girls knew I was the “Teacher’s Pet”.

  “Hey,” I said, reaching to take his coat. Today, he wore dark jeans and a blue shirt, slightly open at the neck. He was absolutely perfect and I felt a bit bad that all I had on were my jeans and a tee-shirt. “Meetings run late?”

  “There’s a problem with Beauty and the Beast,” he said, rolling his eyes as he went to sit on my bed. “Half of the committee feels that the publicity of me playing the lead wouldn’t be worth depriving a student of the role.”

  “What?” I turned, stunned. “But you have to be Beast. I’m Beauty.”

  “I know,” he wiggled his eyebrows at me, which made me laugh. “But perhaps they’re right. I could at least cast someone for the role, and have them play it most of the time. The one performance I do it will be a special one for the press. And to teach this school how to act.” He threw himself backwards, lying on my bed. I came to sit beside him, folding my legs under me. This was often a complaint of Liam, that most of the school was only it in for the fame and glory.

  “Can I act?” I asked, even though I already knew his answer. He turned his head towards me; a smile playing off his lips.

  “Amy, when you act I forget that anything else exists but the world you are creating. Somehow, untrained, you understand more than the students who’ve had twelve years here. You’re a diamond in the rough … an oasis in the desert. You’re a…” We were interrupted by his stomach growling. I laughed.

  “I’m a good girlfriend who feeds you good food, and that’s the only reason you’re here,” I said, and he leant on his elbows.

  “That’s part of it.”

  I had prepared Oatmeal cookies last night when I went home to visit my father, and I brought out a plate of them now, placing them between us on the bed.

  “How long can you stay?” I asked, and he stifled a yawn.

  “A few hours of quality time, at least. I was wondering if you had given any thought to the dance class that was added to the semester.”

  I shrugged.

  “Only if it starts at a kindergarten level. I’m not a dancer. Who’s teaching it?”

  “A dance teacher from Russia,” he said. “And a few guest instructors, like Porsche, when I can get them.”

  “Forget that then,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I’ll look like an elephant in a tutu.”

  “But a very cute one,” He said, poking at the cookies.

  “How did you meet Porsche?” I asked, and he cocked his head.

  “Why?”

  “Just curious,” I said, with a casual shrug. He took my hand, squeezing it.

  “Amy, I told you, there’s absolutely nothing to be jealous of.”

  “I know,” I replied, looking out the window as a kite flew by. “I just…want to know. Since she’s your closest friend, right?”

  “Right,” he thought for a moment, and then shrugged. “We met at a party years ago. She was the life of the party, and I fell into her. Literally tripped. She’s a fun girl, and there are things about us that click, like the fact that we’re both performers. But really, Amy, it’s not like that.” He pulled me closer, laying a light kiss on my lips. “Truly, you’re the only person I have eyes for.”

  I nodded, savoring the kiss. There was something about Liam’s eyes that told me there was more to the story, but I didn’t question it. I felt, at least regards to me that he was telling the truth, and that was all that mattered.

  When I had told Sarah the whole story, she had of course questioned everything; his friendship with Porsche, the legality of the fact that he was my teacher, the age gap, everything. Sometimes I think she wanted me to film every aspect of my life and play it back for her.

  Of course, I had not told my father. I couldn’t imagine how severe his reaction would be. Dad also wanted me to account for my actions every moment of the day, and I knew he was starting to notice the huge gaps of time that went un-talked about - the times I snuck away to spend with Liam.

  I wasn’t sure if any of the other students or faculty members had noticed either. I mean, before this, the girls knew I was Liam’s favorite, and I suffered for it. But nothing had changed in that respect, so perhaps they hadn’t noticed. As for the faculty, I was quite sure they’d bring it to his attention and not mine but he hadn’t said anything to me about needing to be more careful. The only one who I thought might be in on the secret was his secretary, who kept her face deliberately blank as I came and left his office day after day.

  She must have heard the goings on, who couldn’t. Liam and I could entertain each other perfectly for days just cracking jokes, or rehearsing. But more often than not, when we had private time, that’s not what we were doing. I was sitting in his lap, my legs wrapped around him, as we made out, or running my hands up and down his chest as we sank to the floor. He was going to drive me crazy before the year was up, I could tell.

  And although it was wonderful, it was the times we sat and talked that I enjoyed the most.

  Taking the remote, I turned on the television, flipping through the channels.

  “What are we watching?” asked Liam, his mouth full of cookies.

  “We…are…watching…this,” I finally landed on Shakespeare in Love, the opening credits just rolling. He shrugged and I settled back into his arms, munching on a cookie myself. As the movie began to play, I closed my eyes, feeling warm, comfortable and safe against Liam. He gave me a squeeze, wrapping his strong arms around me, and we settled further into the pillows. Soon the cookie tray was empty. We put it aside and sprawled out on the bed. Cuddling close to him as the movie went on, I fell asleep.

  My cell phone ringing woke me up with a jolt. The room was a lot darker than the last time my eyes were open and the TV was now playing an endless infomercial. I leapt up to grab it.

  “Hello?” I asked, frantic and still groggy with sleep.

  “Can I speak to
Amy?” said a female voice. I recognized the drone of a call center in the background, and rolled my eyes.

  “No, she’s out right now,” I said and hung up, turning back to Liam who sat up abruptly, also startled by the noise.

  “What time is it?” he asked, running a hand over his face.

  “Uh…6” I said, and he jumped up immediately. “Everything ok? Liam?” I grabbed his arm as he shot past me, taking his coat from the hanger. “Are you ok? You look a bit pale.”

  “I’m fine, but I have to go,” he said, not looking at me. He laid a quick kiss on my cheek and hurried towards the door, not even pausing for a cautious minute to make sure the hall was empty. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Amy,” he said, and practically slammed the door behind him. I stood in the middle of the floor confused, and wondering how a telemarketer cell phone call had possibly offended him.

  Mind you, we had never fallen asleep together. While comfortable for me, I realized it may have made him feel uncomfortable - especially this early on. With a shrug, I switched off the TV and pulled my hair into a bun. I had homework to finish anyway.

  Around 10pm, I closed my books, sighing. I was well into the work I needed to do, and I could have kept going, had it not been for that sound again. Every evening, around this time, I could hear someone crying as if their soul was breaking through the walls. At first I assumed it was a homesick student, or maybe a student who had a bad day - something that would be temporary and go away. But this was continuous as if they were on a timer. Every night at dark, it sounded like someone was being tortured.

  I checked my phone for messages; something to distract me. It seemed the whole world was busy tonight, and there was still no word from Liam. I stood up to grab a sweater, checked my appearance in the mirror briefly and went out the door.

  The hallways were quiet and empty. I knew the sound was always coming from my left side, and so I ventured that way, careful to make sure my steps were quiet. Just a little way down, to my left, was a hallway that led to a fire escape. No one ever went down there. The light was constantly broken and the door was always locked. But, glancing back to my room, I realized it would make sense if the sound was coming from there.