‘I could get used to this,’ she said.
‘Me too.’
‘Do we have to go home?’
‘I’ll stay if you do.’
She opened her eyes and smiled at him. ‘If I didn’t know better I’d think you actually meant that.’
‘How do you know I don’t?’
From the sea they could hear shrieks of laughter and enthusiastic splashing. Ella was chastising and the others were laughing.
‘I hope they’re not too mean to her,’ Haydon said. Ashley frowned.
‘Oh, I didn’t mean that the way it came out. I worry about her, that’s all. She’s not as tough as some kids.’
‘She seems to hold her own as far as I can see,’ Ashley replied, relaxing again.
‘She’s good at making it look as if she’s OK. All through the break-up with Janine, Ella didn’t once complain. But you could tell she was hurting, underneath. I think sometimes she still does. She hides it because she doesn’t want to make us feel guilty.’ He rallied a smile. ‘I don’t suppose you want to hear about that now.’
‘I don’t mind if you want to talk about it.’
He shook his head. ‘What would you say if I kissed you?’ he whispered.
‘Haydon…’
‘The kids can’t see us from down there.’
‘That’s not what I meant.’
‘I know.’
He hovered, his face now framed by the sky above her. Somewhere in her head, the voice of reason screamed for her to stop him, but she didn’t want to and she shut it out. She gave a faint nod. Taking her silence as permission, he dipped his head and pressed his lips gently to hers. They were salty, warm and responsive. She fell into it, all thoughts of earning trust forgotten, driven by a need that defied reason and logic and the recognition of consequences.
‘You’re OK?’ he asked, breaking off. ‘This is OK?’
‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘It doesn’t seem to matter right now if it’s OK or not.’
‘I’m not asking for anything you don’t want to give.’
‘I know.’
‘And we can take this as slow as you like.’
‘I know that too.’
‘But this is OK now?’
She nodded. ‘Don’t ask me to make promises, but this is OK right now.’
He kissed her again, gentle at first, but then urgency building as he slid on top of her. The sun burned down and the waves lapped against the boat and the sounds of squealing and splashing came from the sea, but it was all lost as her need built too and she pulled him in, deeper, harder, barely taking air.
Then he broke off, panting as he held her gaze. ‘I can’t tell you how hard this is. I feel like I’m going to explode.’
‘I know,’ she said. ‘But I need time, and you said—’
‘Come to my place later?’ he asked. ‘When Ella’s gone to bed. I mean…’ he added, ‘if you want to. Obviously there’s no pressure, and I understand if it’s all a bit too soon—’
‘What happened to giving me more time? Maybe you’d better take a dip in the sea to cool off.’
‘Yeah… probably.’
Ashley’s resolve crumbled as she saw the look of disappointment on his face. ‘I’ll think about it.’
‘About what?’
‘Later. Maybe I’ll come, but I don’t know yet.’
He smiled. ‘I’d like that.’
‘I bet you would,’ Ashley replied, unable to stop a grin spreading across her face now.
Haydon’s smile widened too, clearly encouraged by her response. ‘If I’m swimming then you’re coming with me.’
‘Nope, I’m staying here. I’m going to get the corks out of the wine bottles with my teeth and drink the lot.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah.’
‘We’ll see about that,’ he said, sweeping her up before she’d had time to react. She squealed as he carried her to the edge of the boat, and seconds later she crashed beneath the waves.
She came up for air to see Haydon treading water next to her, laughing.
‘You bastard!’ she cried, but he only laughed harder, and how could she be angry when he looked so handsome and happy? So instead, she splashed him. And then he splashed her back. Then the kids noticed and joined in, and before long her stomach was aching from laughing as they all indulged in a huge water fight. Ashley couldn’t remember when she’d had a better time, and whatever else happened, she’d have this memory to carry with her, always.
* * *
If only the old folks back at Golden Meadows Retirement Home could see her now. Ashley smiled to herself as she lay against a pile of cushions, the sun beating down on her, the remains of their lazy lunch littered across the deck. In the end, Molly had been resourceful enough to go hunting below deck and had found a cupboard with a small stock of crockery, cutlery and – most importantly – a corkscrew for all that lovely wine.
‘I suppose we’ll have to clear this lot up before we head back,’ Haydon said. Ashley opened one eye and threw him a lazy grin. He sat across from her, nursing a glass that contained the last of their Merlot while the teenagers had taken themselves back to the sea. She could hear them splashing and shrieking and vaguely wondered where they were finding the energy.
‘I’m having a nap first. What I’m actually hoping is that when I wake up the fairies will have come and magicked it all away.’ Closing her eyes again, she snuggled into her nest of cushions and let the sun warm her. But then a shadow fell across her and lips touched hers.
‘You’re incorrigible,’ she said with a soft chuckle.
‘Sorry. What’s a man to do when you’re lying there looking all magnificent?’
She opened her eyes and smiled up at him. ‘If you keep saying that I might start to believe it.’
‘It’s true. Not only do you look magnificent, but you are magnificent.’
She giggled. ‘Shut up.’
‘I think you’re amazing.’
‘Haydon…’ Now was the moment. It was all very well drinking wine and sunbathing and flirting, but none of this meant a thing unless he knew the truth, the real basis of their relationship. It was time to come clean. ‘Before we go any further there’s something—’
A whistle split the air and they both whipped round to see Bastien, dripping wet on the deck of the boat, grinning at them. Molly clambered aboard behind him, followed by Ella. Haydon scrambled away from Ashley, who drew a nearby towel across her.
‘Would you like us to swim again?’ he asked. ‘So you can be alone?’
Cheeky little sod, Ashley thought. But she could deal with Bastien. It was Molly’s reaction she was worried about. Ella’s too, when it came to it. If Bastien had kept his mouth shut, perhaps they wouldn’t have been any the wiser, because she didn’t think they’d seen anything, but it wouldn’t take either girl long to figure out what he meant by his mischievous comments.
‘Mum…’ Molly said, and a second later her frown turned into a grin too. ‘I knew it!’ She turned to Ella. ‘Didn’t we guess?’
Ella nodded enthusiastically.
‘You’re OK with it?’ Haydon asked, glancing uncertainly between them.
‘Yeah, of course!’ Ella said. ‘I wanted you to get a nice girlfriend, and if you get married me and Molly get to be sisters!’
Ella could have had no idea just how close she was to the actual truth of her relationship with Molly, and the thought of it twisted Ashley’s gut. She’d barely come to terms with telling Haydon, and she still wasn’t sure she even wanted to, but she couldn’t say anything to Molly or Ella until he knew. She felt like she was being sucked into a sinkhole where the further down she went with the lie, the harder it was to climb back out, and yet she was already so far down that the only way to go was to continue with it. Would it be such a big deal if nobody ever knew? Would it be so wrong if it meant that everyone lived in blissful ignorance? Ashley would carry the deception alone and everyone else could get on with the b
usiness of forming new bonds.
Her plan might have been the perfect solution but for one tiny but significant detail. Ashley couldn’t carry the deception alone because this kind of deception wasn’t one you could carry for long. And besides all that, on a practical level, her mother knew everything.
‘That would be insane!’ Molly squeaked, grasping Ella’s hand. ‘Would we all live together? Maybe me and Mum would have to come and live near you… or maybe you’d come to York…?’
‘Whoa!’ Haydon held his hands up. ‘We haven’t even got past the end of the holiday yet.’
‘Wait until I tell Mum!’ Ella said. ‘She’ll be so happy.’
‘Relieved, more likely,’ Haydon said with a half-smile.
‘There’s nothing to tell anyone yet,’ Ashley cut in.
‘Why?’ Molly clamped her hands on her hips, exactly the way Sue often did.
‘Because we’re only just working it out ourselves,’ Ashley replied. ‘If you’d only had one date with a boy would you be telling me straight away? Because I’m pretty sure you’d wait until you knew you liked him before you brought him home to meet me.’
‘It’s not the same,’ Molly began to argue, throwing the tiniest glance at Bastien that made Ashley do a double take. Was this the stirrings of another holiday romance? On another day, perhaps she’d have quizzed Molly about it, even indulged in some gentle ribbing, but there was so much else going on today she couldn’t think about that right now.
‘It’s exactly the same. Haydon and I will tell people when something needs to be told.’
‘So Bastien didn’t just see something going on?’
‘It’s none of your business if he did or didn’t!’ Ashley fired back.
‘But we already know,’ Molly insisted, unperturbed by Ashley’s denials, ‘so what’s the difference? Who else needs to know more than we do?’
Ashley’s mouth opened and then closed again. She didn’t have an answer for that, because Molly had a point. Nobody else was more important than the kids.
‘I’ll tell people,’ she said finally. ‘Not you – me.’
‘When?’
‘When I’m ready.’
‘Why do you think people will be so bothered?’ Molly asked. ‘Is it because of when you knew Haydon before? It’s not the same now, though, is it?’
Ashley’s mouth fell open. Ella’s wasn’t far behind while Haydon looked vaguely embarrassed and Bastien looked as if he was about to fetch popcorn and get comfy.
‘How did you know about—’
‘Gran told me,’ Molly said.’
‘And what else did she say?’
Molly shrugged. ‘Some other stuff. I don’t remember it all now.’
It was obvious that Molly did remember the other stuff and that none of it had been complimentary, so Ashley thought better of pushing the matter here and now. Trust her mother to give more away than she should – she was little better than a teenager herself at times. Ashley could only assume that Molly’s carefree demeanour meant that Sue hadn’t spilt the most important details about her and Haydon’s previous meeting, which she supposed was something to be thankful for.
Perhaps Haydon could sense a stand-off, because he intervened now. He gestured at the leftovers still spread on the picnic blanket.
‘Let’s get this lot cleared up. We’ve got to return the boat before we worry about anything else.’
Ashley sighed as she got up. She didn’t have the answers either.
Chapter 14
They’d cleared the deck and set a course back to Saint-Raphaël, Ashley quiet and thoughtful and Haydon probably wondering whether he’d blown it as he threw her the odd, anxious glance. He hadn’t, not exactly, or if anything was blown then it had been a joint effort. Ashley wanted to communicate this to him but she didn’t have the words, so she said nothing at all.
As they walked back to their villas the teenagers chatted and laughed as if nothing had happened. Once or twice Molly or Ella would look back to check what Ashley and Haydon were doing and sometimes there would be an encouraging smile. Once Haydon had tried to reach for her hand but she’d moved it subtly out of range, even though she wanted nothing more than to feel his skin on hers. There was no telling who was out and about to see it, and she couldn’t risk this getting back to her mother before she’d had time to explain.
As for the other things she’d needed to air, the right opportunity was looking less likely to appear by the day, and the guilt over continually deceiving Haydon about the biggest and most important secret she could keep from him wasn’t helping her feel any more comfortable with his shows of affection. Even though it hadn’t been entirely her fault (and even she had to admit that), she knew she should have told him – before he’d told her how he felt, before that first kiss, before the kids had found out. She should have told him long before any of this, back when she’d first seen him again on the beach. Now it looked more hopeless than ever.
‘Will I still see you later?’ he asked in a low voice as Molly and Ella said their goodbyes at the field where their paths separated.
‘I need to do some things first,’ she said. ‘I don’t know.’
‘You’re unhappy? I’ve done something wrong? I’m sorry it got out of hand on the boat—’
‘It wasn’t your fault.’
‘But the kids finding out…’
‘If the kids hadn’t worked it out today they would have at some point.’
She gazed up into his eyes, searching for an answer in their depths. ‘I can trust you, can’t I? Please don’t break my heart again.’
He gave a thin smile. ‘So I broke your heart before?’
‘Didn’t you wonder why I was so shocked to see you again?’
‘Yes, but…’ He let out a dry chuckle.
‘What? How is this funny?’
He shook his head. ‘It’s not. I felt the same, that’s what’s funny. All these years I’d thought you weren’t interested in me beyond that one night… isn’t that crazy?’
She gave a small smile. ‘I suppose it is.’
‘Maybe now we can pick it up again? Maybe this is our opportunity? A few years late, I’ll admit, but there’s no reason why not, is there?’
‘I just need some time to get to grips with it. Is that OK?’
‘God, yes!’ he said, blowing out a long breath. ‘Anything you want!’
‘Thanks. I’ll text you later.’ Ashley called to Molly, ‘Finished there?’
Molly nodded and turned to walk towards her.
As Haydon and Ella left them, Sue emerged from the house. It was immaculate timing, and Ashley couldn’t help wondering if she’d been watching for them to return.
‘How was your day?’ she asked as they closed the gates to the garden behind them.
‘Amazing!’ Molly said. ‘The boat was so cool.’
Sue wrinkled her nose. ‘I thought cool wasn’t a cool thing to say any more…’ She raised her eyebrows. ‘At least that’s what you said when you told me to stop saying it.’
‘I can say it because it’s ironic when I say it.’ Molly grinned. ‘I’ll tell you about it later – just got to get changed…’ She turned and jogged after Bastien, who was already on the veranda waiting for her.
‘I think there might be a little holiday romance starting there,’ Ashley said in a low voice, tilting her head in their direction as Molly giggled at something Bastien had said.
‘Just as long as that’s the only one I need to know about,’ Sue said.
‘What does that mean?’
‘She’s not exactly distressed. I take it she still doesn’t know about Haydon?’
‘Of course not.’
‘But you were going to tell him today?’
‘Yes, but…’
‘You would have told her after.’
‘Not necessarily. It wasn’t exactly the time or place.’
‘I would have expected Haydon to say something then, considering he’d have a lot of ma
king up to do.’
‘He’s not that reckless.’
‘How is it reckless for her to know that her dad has been sitting right in front of her all week?’
‘There’s a way to do these things, Mum…’ Ashley skirted around her and headed for the veranda. But then Sue’s voice halted her on the path.
‘You still haven’t told him, have you? Why not?’
‘Because the right moment just hasn’t presented itself.’
‘There’s never going to be a right moment. Is there something you’re not telling me? I have eyes, Ashley. Are you falling for him? Is that what’s going on here? Because if you are…’
Ashley turned to face her. ‘Would it matter?’
‘You are?’ Sue asked, her eyes wide.
‘That’s not what I said. I just want to know what difference it would make. I mean, surely it would be a good thing…’
‘He left you flat! Pregnant!’
‘He didn’t know.’
‘That’s because he disappeared.’
Ashley sighed. ‘It wasn’t his fault, Mum. The phone number he gave me was wrong. And I never gave him mine.’
Sue folded her arms. ‘The phone number was wrong? That was handy, wasn’t it? The fact remains that he used you, and you suffered the consequences of that.’
‘He didn’t use me – it wasn’t like that. He’s not like that…’
‘Dear God, you have fallen for him, haven’t you! Ashley—’
‘I’ll tell him,’ Ashley snapped. This was a conversation she didn’t need to have right now. She might have known her mother would work it out – she always did. ‘I’ll tell him and he’ll be so angry he’ll dump me – is that what you want?’
‘Don’t be so pathetic. Did I really raise you to be so needy? If he dumps you then he was never worth your affection.’
‘Maybe not, but I want it. If you think that’s needy then I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it is.’
Sue stepped forward and pulled her into an embrace. ‘I’m sorry. I just don’t want to see you hurt again. Can you blame me for not trusting his motives? Are you quite sure he doesn’t just see an opportunity for an action replay of your holiday in Ibiza?’
The Summer Getaway_A feel-good romance novel perfect for holiday reading Page 18
