Ashley pulled back and dragged a hand across her eyes. ‘We’ve both got kids in tow and mortgages we’ll have until we die – it’s hardly an action replay.’
‘You know what I mean. Be careful, that’s all I ask.’
‘I am, and I will be. And you’re right about everything – and I will tell him.’
‘It gives me no pleasure to be right about this and I know I can’t tell you what to do any more, but this is something that won’t just go away if you ignore it.’
‘I know.’
There was a pause. ‘Do you think Molly suspects anything?’ Sue asked.
Ashley shook her head. ‘Why would she?’
‘Because she’s a bright young girl who might well be doing the maths as we speak.’
‘How can she do any maths when she…’ Ashley frowned. ‘I know you told her that I knew Haydon from a previous holiday. What else did you tell her?’
‘Just that. But clearly she knows that you haven’t been on holiday without her and that you were just shy of nineteen when she was born, and she’ll have worked out that it was unlikely you would have gone abroad without me before you were eighteen, and she’ll know that a woman is pregnant for nine months and—’
Ashley held up a hand to stop her mum. ‘OK, I get your point. I just don’t think she’s considered it all that deeply.’
‘I wouldn’t bank on it, though – that’s all I’m saying.’
‘Please don’t tell her.’
‘It’s not my place. But I think you ought to give it some serious thought before she works it out herself. I wouldn’t like to be on the receiving end of that temper tantrum if she does and she figures out you knew all along.’
‘She won’t, and I will tell her. When I’ve told him.’
‘You’ve got two more days until you go home and tomorrow is going to be taken up with Violette’s party.’
‘I know,’ Ashley said, trying to curb the irritation in her voice. It wasn’t aimed at her mum, but at the situation as a whole. ‘You don’t have to tell me this because I bloody well know…’
‘So when are you going to do it?’
Ashley chewed on her lip, her gaze trained on the horizon where the sun was beginning to sink, burnishing the fields.
‘Tonight,’ she said. ‘For better or worse I’ll tell him tonight.’
* * *
Ashley looked at her phone. She could text Haydon right now and tell him everything, and then it would be done. Perhaps it was a cruel way to hear it but a damn sight easier for her. The bedroom was cool and the sheets smelt like fresh air as she lay on them, gazing up at the pits and divots of Madame Dupont’s old ceiling as the evening shadows moved across it, a soft breeze bringing the scent of jasmine through the open window. She’d claimed a headache and escaped a family dinner that was too noisy and hectic. She could hear Molly now, laughing, and Bastien’s voice raised as he spoke in English above the rabble of everyone else’s French. There was definitely something starting between those two; maybe it had even started already. But what could Ashley do about it? She’d had the birds and bees talk with Molly a couple of years before and, given her own current predicament, there was an undeniable irony in trying to lecture Molly on the dangers of teenage sex. Besides, Molly had always been blessed with a good deal more common sense than Ashley ever had and she’d be careful if she did anything. Plus, at least they knew where to find Bastien if the worst came to the worst, though Ashley tried not to dwell on the possibility of such an outcome.
Just as she’d dismissed the idea of a text to Haydon as pretty much the worst one she’d ever had, her phone bleeped. It was him – of course it was.
I had a great time today. Will I see you tonight?
* * *
It might be tricky.
* * *
Tricky how?
* * *
Everyone’s here and they might want to know where I’m going.
* * *
You definitely can’t sneak off? Not even for an hour?
Ashley rested the phone on her chest and stared up at the ceiling again. It wouldn’t be impossible to get away if she really wanted to. Her mother would have said she was simply delaying the inevitable, and she’d be right. Seeing him tonight was simultaneously the thing she wanted most and yet least in the world right now and she’d never been more confused and conflicted. Her phone bleeped again.
OK, I came on a bit heavy. I understand it’s not easy, and I know we should take it slow. I’m sorry I keep hassling you.
* * *
It’s not that. It’s just hectic here.
* * *
I can wait. Whatever time you can get away I’ll be up.
Ashley let out a sigh. For better or for worse, she’d promised Sue. For better or for worse she’d come clean. But now that she was faced with the task, it didn’t seem quite so easy.
A light tap at the door made her sit up.
‘You can come in – I’m decent.’
Maurice poked his head around the door with a concerned smile. ‘How do you feel?’
‘I’m alright.’
‘Too much sun perhaps? Out at sea?’
Ashley nodded.
‘May I come in?’
‘Of course. I’m really OK, though, so you needn’t worry.’
‘I am not sure that’s true.’
‘Nothing the aspirin I just took won’t fix.’
‘Sometimes,’ he began, taking a seat on the end of her bed, ‘it’s easier to talk to someone who isn’t so close to you that their judgement can be clouded by their feelings.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I can’t help thinking that something is troubling you, and I wonder if you want to talk about it. My ears exist for your use if you need them.’
‘Thanks,’ Ashley said, and she couldn’t help a smile at his turn of phrase. He’d always had a lovely, quirky way with words. Perhaps it was because English wasn’t his first language and so he didn’t get caught up in all the clichés that native speakers dropped into so easily.
‘I know that sometimes your mother cares too much and it can be hard to tell her things,’ he continued.
‘You know her well enough alright. It’s not her fault.’
‘It’s not. So, can I be of service?’
Ashley paused. It was a nice thought, unburdening some of this on Maurice, who would listen without judging and who she’d always got on with because they were weirdly similar in so many ways. And if she asked him for discretion it would be guaranteed. But it would put him in an awkward position when it came to her mother and to Molly and she wouldn’t wish that on him.
‘There’s really nothing to tell,’ she said. ‘But I appreciate the offer.’
He nodded. ‘Perhaps you will join us for a little wine?’
‘Maybe later. In fact…’ She swung her legs over the side of the bed. ‘I might go for a walk first – get some air and a little peace and quiet. Will it be OK if Molly stays here with you? In fact, could you cover for me and not mention to anyone I’ve gone off? I could do with being alone.’
If Maurice was surprised by her request he didn’t show it. ‘If it will help with this problem that doesn’t exist,’ he said, inclining his head with a wry smile, ‘then I will play my part.’
‘Thanks, Maurice, you’re one in a million.’
‘You will go now?’
‘If I go now I can be back before anyone misses me.’
‘We will always miss you when you’re not there,’ he said, getting up and turning for the door.
‘Charmer.’ Ashley smiled. ‘No wonder Mum fell for you.’
He threw her a last grin before leaving her to pull her shoes on.
‘I’m definitely sunburnt.’ Ella pulled the sleeve of her T-shirt up to reveal red shoulders. ‘It stings.’
‘I’m sure it does,’ Haydon said, pursing his lips and frowning. ‘You topped up your sun cream like I said?’
‘You saw me,’ Ell
a pouted. ‘Well, you would have done if you weren’t making eyes at Ashley all day.’
‘I wasn’t making eyes at Ashley! Anyway, how old are you – ninety? Nobody makes eyes at people any more. I thought I was the old codger here.’
‘Kevin says it.’
‘Figures.’
‘You don’t like Kevin at all, do you?’
‘Of course I do. It’s just…’
‘Mum would like Ashley and it’s just the same.’
‘How do you know?’
‘Because she wants you to have a girlfriend.’
To lessen her guilt for walking out on him, perhaps, but Haydon knew better than to say it in front of Ella. Instead, he looked at his phone. Ashley had said she would come over, but he didn’t know when. Ella should have been in bed by now, and on any other night she would have been. But for some reason tonight she just wouldn’t settle and kept sneaking out of her room to join him on the veranda.
‘That doesn’t mean she’d automatically like my choice of girlfriend. Do you like everyone in your class?’
‘No.’
‘It’s just the same. There’s no reason you don’t like some of them, but you don’t anyway.’
‘I know that. It’s not the same. Mum would like Ashley because… I can just tell.’
‘Well that’s great, but don’t you think we ought to continue this conversation in the morning? It’s your last full day here tomorrow and you don’t want to spend it rotting in bed because you had a late night.’
‘You’re still up. Besides, I can get up if I need to.’
‘I’m up because I will be able to get up if I need to. You say you can but then you’re like a dead dog and lie in until noon.’
‘I don’t.’
‘Do.’
‘Daaaaaaddddd…’
‘You know I’m right.’
‘I can’t sleep yet.’
‘Why not?’
She shrugged. ‘I feel weird.’
‘You are weird.’
‘Not like that.’
‘What then?’
‘I don’t know… funny.’
‘You’re sick?’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘Sad then? Worried about something?’
Ella sighed. ‘I just don’t know. I can’t explain it.’
Haydon patted his lap. ‘Come here and give your dad a cuddle.’ As she crossed over and snuggled into his knee, he rested his chin on her shoulder. ‘I used to be able to rest my chin on the top of your head. You’re too tall now – can you please stop growing?’
‘I can’t help it. I wish I could fit on your knee like I used to.’
‘You feel like everything is changing too fast?’ he asked. ‘You feel like your life is moving quicker than you can keep up with and nothing looks the same as it used to? Mum’s got Kevin and I’m starting to date again, you might move to London, and you can’t fit on my lap the way you used to. Let me tell you, kiddo – those feelings don’t ever go away, even when you’re a grown-up. But you do learn that they’re a normal part of life and that no matter how odd and new everything seems at first it usually has a way of settling down – for a while at least. It’s been like that for me too and at first I hated it, but I think I can see the end in sight and it looks pretty good.’
‘You mean with Ashley?’
‘I mean with everyone. You’re going to London and life will be amazing for you there. At first I hated the idea, but I see now that things will be weird and maybe more difficult for a while but I have to let you go.’
‘Even if it’s with Kevin?’
‘Even with Kevin. He seems like a good bloke and as long as he treats you and your mum well I can hardly complain. Just don’t forget me.’
‘As if! I suppose if you marry Ashley you’ll have Molly when I’m in London.’
‘Blimey, nobody’s mentioned weddings yet! And Molly is great but she isn’t you.’
‘She’d be your daughter,’ Ella said, and Haydon couldn’t help but detect a hint of reproach in her voice. Was she struggling with the idea? A development like that was a world away right now, yet her uncertainty was plain. She liked Molly now, but he supposed seeing Molly take her place in his affections – or at least it seeming that way – might quickly sour that friendship.
‘You are my daughter, no matter who or what else happens. Always.’
Ella wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. ‘And you’re my dad, no matter how many presents Kevin buys for me.’
Haydon grinned. ‘We’ll put that to the test when he gets you a MacBook.’
‘He could buy me ten MacBooks and I wouldn’t care.’
‘Who even needs ten MacBooks?’
‘You know what I mean,’ Ella said, laughing.
‘I do. And it makes me happier than I can tell you.’
Ella was silent for a moment. Then: ‘Everything was changing so fast it was making you feel scared and weird. That’s why you hated Kevin and you didn’t want me to move to London? That’s how come you knew exactly what was wrong with me today?’
‘You must get your wisdom from your mum, because yes, you’re right, and I hadn’t really figured it out myself until just now.’
‘It’s going to be OK, Dad.’
‘I know that now. But thanks for saying it.’ He glanced at his watch, and then to the phone sitting on the table beside them, its screen dark. ‘Are you sure you don’t want to get to bed now?’
‘Will you come to bed soon?’
‘I’m only going to be just out here.’
‘I know, but I feel better if you’re in the room next to me.’
‘In case the bogie bogeyman comes out?’
Ella rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t make fun of me…’
‘I’m not, I’m sorry. I’m just not tired yet.’
‘Can I stay up with you out here then? Just a little longer?’
Haydon bit back a sigh of frustration. Of course he wanted Ella to feel secure and happy but he’d also been bursting with anticipation at the thought of a few hours alone with Ashley.
‘A little longer,’ he said. ‘That’s fine.’
‘Because we probably won’t do this ever again,’ she said. ‘Next year we might not be able to go on holiday, just you and me.’
‘And you definitely won’t fit on my lap next year. I’ll probably have to sit on yours.’
‘But we won’t. Will we?’
‘You don’t know that.’
‘I know, I just feel it. Everything is going to change and it won’t ever be like this again.’
‘Even if we don’t go on holiday again we’ll always have this one, won’t we? And it’s been pretty amazing.’
‘Yeah,’ she said, nuzzling into his shoulder. ‘The best.’
Ashley was walking across the field that separated the two villas when her phone bleeped to tell her she had a text message.
I’m really sorry but I can’t see you tonight after all.
Ashley frowned as she read it again. Seriously? This afternoon he was all over her and now he couldn’t see her?
What’s wrong?
* * *
Ella needs me. She’s in a weird place and I think she needs some reassurance so I don’t want to leave her alone. Sorry. Maybe we can catch up tomorrow if you have time? I do want to see you more than I can say and I wouldn’t put you off unless I really had to.
Ashley let out a sigh. What could she say to that? It was what any perfectly decent dad would do and yet the idea made her bristle. And she couldn’t fight off the nagging suspicion that he was lying to her to cover up an assignation with that other woman he’d been seeing… Audrey or whatever her name was. She tried to shake the notion. Surely he wouldn’t be that blatant and cruel? But right now she needed to see him, and she needed to get the secret off her chest that became heavier with each day she held it there.
I don’t know how much time I’ll have tomorrow with the party.
* * *
Anything you can spare.
* * *
Won’t you be out with Ella?
* * *
Maybe. I can try to figure something out.
She tapped her phone on the palm of her hand for a moment. Perhaps she could get Ella invited to the party? As Molly’s guest? That would leave Haydon free for her to talk to.
Leave it to me – I think I can fix it. I’ll text you tomorrow morning and let you know.
* * *
OK. I’m missing you already.
Letting out a sigh she sent back a single kiss. She was missing him too and she wanted nothing more than to lie in his arms and feel his lips on hers, but there was this thing, this huge thing between them, and it had to be dealt with before she could even think about any of that. And that was assuming he’d be OK with it. He’d be shocked, that was for sure, and they’d have to do a lot of talking.
She tapped the phone on her hand again. The idea of texting him and telling him the truth about Molly was more appealing by the second. At least she wouldn’t be sleeping with it for another night. But it was a terrible way to break news like that and she needed to be there when he heard it. Quickly she decided to stick with her original plan. Somehow, she’d have to get Ella invited to the party and catch Haydon while she was busy.
Chapter 15
‘I’m beginning to think you don’t want to tell him,’ Sue said.
‘I do. I mean, I don’t because it will be hard but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand that I need to.’
‘It’s taken you all week. It’s one sentence. Haydon, Molly is your daughter. Done. How hard can it be?’
The Summer Getaway_A feel-good romance novel perfect for holiday reading Page 19
