Noem

by Catherine Lievens

  Kay swallowed. He didn’t want to lose his best friend. His only friend. His family.

  * * * *

  Noem hid in the infirmary. It was the place he was most comfortable in, and no one would wonder why he was there, not even Jared, who knew him well enough to realize something was wrong.

  He slipped into one of the private rooms and decided to check the inventory. Counting needles and bandages was better than doing nothing, since there weren’t patients for him to help.

  He got everything out and dumped it on the bed, then started counting. He lost count of the needles three times before he sighed and realized he couldn’t help thinking about Kay. Kay was Noem’s mate, and he hated anyone who wasn’t human.

  Well, he hadn’t said he hated shifters and the like, but it’d been obvious he didn’t like them. He’d even mentioned he wanted Troy to be in his human form if they saw each other.

  Noem couldn’t hide that he wasn’t human. He’d cut his hair short, kept his face stubbly and had gotten tattoos to step away from the image of the perfect Nix he was supposed to be, the one his parents had expected him to be. He was free to be himself now, and he loved it, but the short hair didn’t help hide his ears.

  He slumped into the chair by the bed and scowled at the thought of having to hide who he was to make his mate happy. He wasn’t going to do it. He’d already spent too many years being someone he wasn’t for his family. His story wasn’t as tragic as Ani’s, or Aeron’s—far from it. He hadn’t been treated badly, but he was his parents’ only child, and his father was tribe leader. The fact that Noem was gay had never counted in front of that. He needed to bond with a nice pure Nix girl, even though it wouldn’t be a true mate bond, and he needed to have children. He needed to take his father’s place when he stepped down, or when he died, even when the only thing Noem had ever wanted was to become a healer.

  So he’d fled. He’d left his tribe when Nysys had told him and the others about the pride, and he’d never regretted it. He’d found a new family with the pride, and he’d been able to be himself. Now Kay threatened that, because if Noem wanted to be with him, he’d obviously have to change.

  Not that he could change his being a Nix, and Kay had already seen the ears, so there was no hiding them or denying what he was. Was there a way for Kay to accept him? What would Noem be ready to do for that to happen?

  Noem scowled at the wall, because he didn’t have answers to that. He’d come to work to avoid thinking about it, but needles and bandages obviously weren’t enough to distract him. He needed a patient, and since Benjamin had been the one to introduce Kay and Noem, he’d be it.

  Noem took his phone out and quickly typed a message asking Benjamin to come for another healing session. It hadn’t been planned, but Noem felt fine, and he needed to focus on something that wasn’t Kay. Benjamin was fine, but he still had scars, and those were more difficult to work with. Noem actually looked forward to trying to make them fade, if only a little bit.

  Once the text was sent, Noem put back the stuff he’d taken out of the cupboards and went back to the main area of the infirmary. He peeked at the hunter, who was still unconscious in his bed, to make sure everything was fine, but the man still hadn’t moved. He’d woken up the day before, but it had been very brief, and he’d fallen asleep again almost right away.

  The door opened, and Noem gestured at Benjamin to sit on one of the beds. He didn’t waste time, Lucas hovering close. “Take your T-shirt off,” he told Benjamin as soon as Benjamin was sitting.

  “Aren’t you going to at least offer me dinner first?”

  Noem fought the smile that threatened to appear on his lips. “Naked. Now.”

  He and Benjamin had joked around a few times while Benjamin was there, although never while Noem was healing him. Of course, Noem wasn’t healing him right now. He just wanted to work a bit on the scars.

  “I don’t think Lucas would be fine with me getting naked with you,” Benjamin pointed out.

  “Benjamin.”

  Benjamin obeyed, and Noem narrowed his eyes at the scars he exposed. They were fully healed, but that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that they were obvious, and while Noem didn’t think he’d ever be able to make them entirely disappear, he was going to try anyway.

  “There you go,” Benjamin said.

  Noem leaned closer to take a better look. He was satisfied with the work he’d done so far—Benjamin was healthy even though he could have died from the wounds. Still, it wasn’t pretty. “You know I’m never going to be able to heal them completely,” Noem said.

  “I’ll live. I don’t mind them as much as I did before.”

  “I think they make him look rugged,” Lucas said, and Noem had the suspicion that the fact that Benjamin didn’t care was mostly due to Lucas. He looked at Benjamin as if he were the most beautiful thing in the world, and it gave Noem a pang of longing.

  He wanted someone to look at him like that. Not that he thought he was beautiful, but there was love in Lucas’ eyes, and he accepted Benjamin for who he was, the way he looked. That was what Noem wanted, and he’d thought he’d find it with his mate. The chance for that to happen seemed almost non-existent now, though. He highly doubted Kay would ever think his ears were anything but strange.

  Benjamin looked happy as he teased Lucas, and even Noem chuckled at one of his jokes. Benjamin looked surprised, and Noem looked down, focusing on the scars. He skimmed a finger over the one closest to Benjamin’s heart. That was the worst one, so Noem pressed his palm against it and closed his eyes.

  He didn’t actually have to close them when he healed, but it was easier to focus and to build an imaginary picture of what he was feeling with his healing power. He’d tried to explain to Jared how it worked once, but he wasn’t sure he’d succeeded, because Jared had looked confused.

  It was weird. Noem could see the wounds even with his eyes closed, thanks to his power. He saw how mangled the flesh was, and he slowly smoothed it out. He knew his palm was glowing, showing Benjamin Noem really was healing him.

  He healed as much as he could before he opened his eyes and checked the scar. It looked better, even though it was still noticeable.

  “Want me to do the other ones?” he asked, and Benjamin nodded.

  Noem slid his hand lower, but before he could start healing the next scar, there was a shout. It came from the hunter’s room.

  “The hunter?” Benjamin asked.

  “He briefly woke up yesterday, but it looks like he’s getting better.” Unfortunately for him, Noem could do little for the concussion he had. Noem was good at healing wounds, but concussions were different.

  “Jared told me he was there because one of the Nix had realized he was their mate,” Benjamin said. “I thought it might be you until this morning.”

  Noem tried not to let Benjamin see how surprised he was. The hunter was a Nix’s mate? He hadn’t known that, and he quickly thought about whose he could be. There were Nix living in the mansion who still hadn’t found their mate, but unless they’d come into the infirmary when Noem wasn’t there, there was no way Cerris and Wyn could have seen the hunter. There had been a lot of Nix who’d participated in the battle with the hunters, but they were mostly enforcers, and Noem didn’t know them well.

  Then the rest of Benjamin’s words hit him. “Why have you changed your mind?”

  “I was the one to show Kay to the kitchen, remember?”

  Noem looked down, conscious of the fact that he was blushing. He’d hoped no one had noticed it, even though he knew Benjamin had, but of course he couldn’t be that lucky.

  “Care to explain to the poor out-of-the-loop human?” Lucas asked.

  “Can’t tell you when it’s Noem’s secret,” Benjamin answered, and Noem felt better. If Benjamin hadn’t even told Lucas, then he wouldn’t tell anyone. God only knew what would happen if Nysys found out.

  * * * *

  Troy had been silent since
he’d snapped at Kay, and Kay didn’t blame him. At least Troy hadn’t kicked him out. That was more than Kay deserved, and if he’d been Troy, he’d have kicked out his sorry ass long ago.

  “What do you want me to do?” Kay finally asked when the silence became too much.

  Troy sighed. “If I have to tell you, then you didn’t understand what I told you earlier.”

  “I did, but it doesn’t mean I can change my mind easily.”

  “What do you have against us?”

  “Against you? Nothing,” Kay said, deliberately answering Troy’s question the wrong way.

  Obviously, Troy knew it too, because he threw a soft toy at Kay’s head. Kay snatched it before it could hit him and looked at it. It was a small stuffed lion, and his ears were all but gnawed off. It made Kay smile to imagine Aaron biting on the thing.

  “Don’t act like you’re stupid,” Troy said, distracting Kay. “What do you have against shifters?”

  Kay sighed. “I’m not sure.”

  “Is it because we’re different?”

  Kay had spent months wondering that himself. He didn’t have anything against shifters, fairies, and whatnot, not really, but he couldn’t help being defensive when he was around them. Their presence made him behave in a way he wasn’t proud of and say things he hated hearing. “I guess I have problems understanding them,” he finally said, because Troy was waiting for an answer.

  “Understanding what? They’re just normal people. We’re just normal people.”

  Kay snorted and put down the lion. “Normal people who turn into animals.”

  Troy shook his head. “Can’t you just view that as—I don’t know, something they can’t change? Like normal people who have black hair, or normal people who are gay?”

  The glance Troy gave Kay was pointed, and Kay wanted to ignore it, but that would mean leaving and probably losing his best friend. He’d known it wouldn’t be easy when he’d found Troy again. He knew he’d have to adapt, and he hadn’t been able to, not yet. “So you’re saying you being able to grow wings is like me being gay?”

  Troy shrugged. “Maybe. Thinking of it that way might help you understand. You know I never wanted this, but being a harpy is not something I can change. I won’t say it was an easy thing to get used to, you know that, but it’s not as hard anymore. I surrendered to the idea that I can’t ever go back to being human. Besides, it’s not like being a harpy only brought me bad things.”

  Kay knew that, but he wanted to hear it again. He wanted to hear that his best friend was happy even after what had been done to him. He knew the shifters hadn’t been responsible for that. If anything, they were responsible for Troy still being alive. They’d freed him when Kay hadn’t even known where he was. They’d taken him in, had healed him as best as they could, had helped him realize what he was, and when he hadn’t been able to accept it, they’d been there for him. They’d supported him, comforted him, even through his darkest moments. Kay was grateful, because without them, he wouldn’t have Troy anymore. If he continued to be a dick, he wouldn’t have Troy anymore. “What did it bring you?” he asked.

  Troy arched a brow, but he answered. “I met Emery. I know you don’t like the idea of mates and that you think I was coerced into it, but I wasn’t. I could have said no. I could have told him to leave me alone, and he would have. I’ll admit I got into it not because I really wanted or loved him, but that was then. I didn’t know him, but I knew what mates were, and I knew that once we were mated, he wouldn’t leave me. Aaron, well. He was unexpected, and for a while I didn’t want him, but not because I hated him. I accepted what I am now, and I love Aaron. I wouldn’t change anything. I think you’d be more open to things if you talked about it and if you actually knew them. As far as I know, you haven’t talked to anyone about shifters, right?”

  “Of course not! I wouldn’t put you at risk like that.” How could Troy even suggest that?

  Troy waved Kay’s words away. “Not that way. I mean, have you talked to someone who knows shifters and who can explain stuff to you? Maybe a human, so you’re more comfortable?”

  Kay shook his head. “I don’t think I can be more comfortable with someone else. We’ve been best friends for years.”

  “But I was human back then. I understand you might feel differently now.”

  Kay gaped. “Is that the impression I gave you?” Troy shrugged, and Kay’s heart broke a little. “You’re like a brother to me, Troy. I know I haven’t been there for you in the past year, but that didn’t change.” Kay took a deep breath. He wasn’t one to talk about feelings, but Troy apparently needed to hear this, so he was going to say it. “I love you. Like a brother, I mean, but yeah.”

  “Even if I now have wings and an ovary?”

  Kay grimaced. “You know, the bit about the ovary almost freaks me out more than the wings.”

  Troy laughed, the bastard. “I know. Trust me, I was all kinds of freaked out when I found out about that.” He looked at a tiny sweater that had been abandoned at the foot of the bed. “I still have a hard time believing it, even though Aaron is here.”

  Kay decided to tease him a bit, because he needed to show Troy that he still wanted to be in his life, not only to tell him. “When are you going to give Aaron a brother, then?”

  Troy looked at him, horrified. “Don’t even pronounce those words. There’s no way I’m going through that again.”

  “Aww, why not? I want lots of nephews and nieces.”

  “Then you can find yourself a sister. I’m not having another kid.”

  Kay could hear the truth in Troy’s words, and he felt guilty. He hadn’t been there for Troy, but now he could be, even if it meant listening to what had happened in detail. He swallowed. “Do you... want to talk about it?”

  Troy smirked. “I should give you all the details just to see how much you’re ready to take, but I’ll restrain myself.”

  “Thank god.”

  “I’m just not really okay with what I am, not yet. It was a big change, you know?”

  “I can imagine.”

  “I went from being a normal guy with a normal life to being part harpy and part woman, and to being able to have kids. Well, eggs, but it’s the same. I had the hardest time accepting being a harpy, and then Aaron came, and, well, everything was crazy and bad for a while, but Emery helped me out of it. I can’t force you to like him, or even to talk to him, but I wish you’d try.”

  Kay tried to imagine how he would feel if Troy hated his hypothetical husband. He didn’t like it, especially because he knew the reason he didn’t like Emery was not because of his personality or whatever, but because of what he was. There was nothing Emery could do about that, even if he’d wanted to, just like there was nothing Kay could do about the fact that he liked dick instead of pussy.

  He hated it when people took exception to that, so why was he doing exactly the same thing? He understood how ridiculous he was, especially given the fact that he’d moved hundreds of miles just to be close to Troy. He was Kay’s only family, or the only family who actually wanted him anyway, and Kay wanted to be Troy’s family. He wanted to be an uncle for Aaron, no matter how he was born or what he looked like.

  Kay sighed. “Yeah, okay.”

  “Okay what?”

  “I’ll try. I don’t want to lose you again. I never wanted to.”

  Troy nodded. He was beaming, and it had been so long since Kay had last seen that smile. “I just want you to try.”

  “I will. Now come on, tell me about mates. You were right when you said I don’t know much about how it works.”

  Troy’s smile widened. “Well, you’ll know more than you ever wanted when you leave this room.”

  Chapter Two

  Jericho was finally sleeping again, and Noem could relax. The hunter hadn’t given them problems, not after Dominic had talked to him, but it was obvious he was scared shitless of them. He cringed every time someone in the room moved, as if
whoever moved was about to jump him and eat him or tear his head off.

  Noem shook his head as he put away the supplies he and Jared had used. Who knew what Jericho had been told, and what had happened to him? He didn’t seem like the kind of guy who hated people just on principle, although Noem didn’t know him that well, obviously. From the little he knew about hunters, though, they usually ended up being hunters because someone close to them had been hurt by shifters. He couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to Jericho, but he wouldn’t get answers, not that day.

  Once he was done cleaning up, Noem left the room, turning the light off as he went. He didn’t close the door because he wanted to be sure he’d hear it if Jericho woke. Sighing, he made his way toward the bed that would be his for the night and sat on it to remove his shoes.

  He wouldn’t normally sleep in the infirmary, but Jericho was a special patient. He still wasn’t completely healed, so he probably wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone even if he tried, but he might try to hurt himself. That meant someone had to be close at any time.

  Jared had volunteered—of course he had—but Noem had sent him to his rooms. Jared was mated, and Noem, well. He wasn’t, and at this point, he thought it dubious he’d ever be. He hadn’t seen Kay again, but the man had been clear about his opinion on shifters and paranormal creatures.