Jeremy (Broken Angel #4)

by L. G. Castillo

With Naomi at his right and Rachel on his left, they walked down the corridors toward the Hall of Judgment. He forced himself to keep his eyes straight ahead and ignore the electricity surging up and down his right arm. He hid behind a flirtatious smile, hoping his attraction to her wouldn’t be obvious.

  As they moved through the halls, angels murmured to each other as they passed. He was used to the angel gossip whenever he was seen with a female angel. This was different. He sensed it. They knew who she was. Angels who’d been there longer than him gazed at the trio with astonished eyes. They whispered to each other in hushed tones, explaining to the newer angels who Naomi was. But as soon as the newer angels asked about Jeremy, they were whisked away to a distance far enough where they couldn’t be heard.

  He tensed when he realized there were angels who knew more about his life than he did. He pushed the thought aside as he opened the doors to the Hall of Judgment. It was no use thinking about it now.

  “Oh, wow. This is amazing.” Naomi stepped past him into the chamber. Her face glowed with awe, making her even more beautiful.

  Jeremy snatched a box of long matches and busied himself lighting the candles. The less he looked at her, the better. Thank goodness Rachel loved to talk and was busy giving Naomi the entire history of the Hall of Judgment.

  “So Michael sits here?” Naomi ran her fingers over the ornate chair.

  “Yep. I hope someday you can meet him. Oh, darn it. I have to get Gabrielle. She wanted me to tell her when you were ready for Lash. We’ll chat more later.” Rachel pecked Naomi’s cheek and rushed out the door.

  “You’ve been awfully quiet. I hope you’re not mad at me.” Naomi’s soft voice echoed in the chamber.

  He paused, hovering the match over the last candle. Lash was going to be there any moment. He could last a few minutes with Naomi.

  Alone.

  In a room full of candlelight.

  He touched the flame to the candle and flicked his wrist, extinguishing the match before turning to her.

  “Me? Mad? I don’t get . . .” He whirled back to the candle. Why did she have to look so amazing? Why did he light all those damn candles? He should’ve kept it nice and dark in there so he couldn’t see her. And like a moron, why didn’t he think of going to get Gabrielle instead of Rachel?

  “I don’t get mad.” He fiddled with the candle arrangement, pretending he knew what he was doing.

  “Well, then, what’s wrong?”

  Nothing. Just trying to remember my best friend loves you so that I won’t kiss you senseless.

  “I’m worried about Lash. We’ve been friends a long time. I’ve never kept a secret from him, ever.”

  It wasn’t entirely a lie. He was worried about Lash.

  “Rachel said you didn’t have a choice. The only way for Lash to come home was to . . . uh to . . .”

  “Kill him.”

  “Yeah.” Her voice cracked.

  “That’s not the part I’m worried about. It was only our human bodies. I knew he wasn’t really going to die. It hurts like hell, but I wasn’t actually ending Lash’s life.”

  “Then what’s bothering you?”

  I’m falling in love with you.

  He wished he could tell her. The ache in his chest seemed to be growing by the minute.

  “I’m worried about Lash,” he finally said. “I knew I had to end your life, and I saw how much he loved you. I didn’t know at the time that you were coming back with him.”

  “How could you have known? You didn’t have a choice.”

  “I’m an archangel. I could’ve given it to someone else. Uri could’ve taken over. I don’t know if Lash will forgive me for what I did. I missed him so much. I just wanted to complete the assignment and have him back.”

  “Tell him that. I know he’ll forgive you when you explain it to him.”

  “I don’t think so. Things have changed.”

  “What’s changed? He’s still your friend, isn’t he?”

  What’s changed? Slowly, he turned back to her, bracing himself before his eyes lifted to meet hers.

  “More than a friend.” A brother. A brother who deserved happiness after all he’d been through. A brother who didn’t deserve to be betrayed by some moron who kissed his woman because he was wallowing in a past he could barely remember. Lash deserved more. And he was going to do whatever it took to make sure Lash got what he’d fought so hard for.

  “Wait here. I’ll bring Lash to you.”

  * * *

  “Excuse me. Sorry, I need to get through.” Jeremy made his way through a crowd of angels gathered along the corridor. They spoke in hushed whispers as they watched him. It seemed like every angel in Heaven was hanging out by the Room of Offering. Typically, this part of the building was empty. Since the room held gifts offered by humans to the archangels, they were the only ones who lounged in the chamber. Today, he could barely get through the crowd. He wondered why.

  There was a series of crashes coming from the chamber, followed by Lash’s yells. The crowd stilled in silent shock for a moment, then broke out into a low rumble as they turned to each other.

  Jeremy worked his jaw at their reaction. Didn’t they have anything better to do?

  He elbowed his way through a small group of angels, not caring if they thought he was being rude. Lash was worse off than he’d thought. This wasn’t going to be easy.

  Standing outside the large oak door, he said a silent prayer asking for the words he needed to calm his best friend. Forcing a smile on his face, he reached for the handle. Before he touched it, the door flew open and he was face to face with Lash.

  Lash’s lips formed a half smile, and for a moment, Jeremy thought Lash had forgiven him. Slowly, the smile dropped and hazel eyes narrowed. In a blink, he was flying backward with Lash’s arms crushing him.

  Angels scrambled out of the way and they landed with a crash. Jeremy pushed against him, careful not to hurt him. He wouldn’t budge. Lash was stronger than he remembered, and for some reason that irritated him. Using all his strength, Jeremy shoved Lash off him and leapt to his feet.

  “Stop it, Lash. I will not fight you.”

  “Fine by me, asshole!”

  Shocked by Lash’s growls, he didn’t see the fist aiming for his face. Jeremy had always found a way to calm down his friend no matter how pissed Lash was. And Lash never attacked anyone—ever. Before he could move, Lash’s fist connected to his nose. The force was so powerful he stumbled back.

  What the hell?

  Shocked, he wiped the back of his hand across his face as he glared at Lash. He’d had enough of Lash’s tantrums. Lash was always whining that Jeremy was the favored one. That everyone loved him. If he’d only shut up and listen, he’d see that he had people on his side as well.

  Jeremy marched to him, hands curled into fists. Lash had been given a second chance. Lash, who’d always walked the edge, questioning and defying the rules, had been given a chance to redeem himself. And not only had he been able to return, but he’d been able to come back with Naomi.

  And I was stupid enough to volunteer to bring him to her!

  The moment his fists smashed into Lash’s chest, he felt the rage. The anger that had been simmering deep inside of him since he first saw Lash with Naomi at Shiprock rushed down his arms and to his fists. He told himself he was just angry at Lash for taking him down in front of the other angels. He told himself he was just teaching his best friend a lesson, that archangels were in a position of power for a reason. It wasn’t true. None of it. As each punch sailed through the air, he only had one thought—Naomi wanted Lash.

  He couldn’t see past the red haze that filled his vision, not even when Raphael placed his hand on Lash’s shoulder and was punched in the stomach, and not even when his newfound father fell to his knees, gasping. He barely heard Gabrielle’s command to stop. All he could think about was how he wished Lash had failed his assignment. Then he would be the one to bring the seventh archangel to Heaven, and he’d be th
e one standing by Naomi’s side. It wasn’t until she placed herself between them, her emerald eyes glittering, that what he’d done began to sink in.

  He gazed around the silent corridor. All eyes were on him. Even as Lash threatened to take down Gabrielle, they watched him. They expected that kind of behavior from his rebellious friend, not from an archangel.

  As Gabrielle helped Raphael up, his words echoed in Jeremy’s mind. “The past has a way of catching up to the present.”

  Her eyes flicked to his before she turned her attention back to Raphael and Lash. If he didn’t know better, he could’ve sworn he saw something that looked like pity. It was the same expression she used to give Rachel before Uri came.

  He sucked in a breath. She knows.

  The crowd of angels scurried away when Gabrielle commanded them to leave. Of course she knew. Like Rachel, she’d seen the past. She had access to memories he didn’t.

  His mouth grew dry and he swallowed nervously, wondering if somehow she could read what had been in his heart ever since he’d first laid eyes on Naomi, the feelings that he struggled to hide from himself. It was as if she could read what was in his heart as he stood there watching Lash prepared to battle anyone for a woman he thought he’d lost.

  When she turned away and gazed at Raphael, the glitter in her eyes softened. Longing flashed over her beautiful face so quickly no one seemed to notice. And then he knew.

  They were the same.

  As if in a fog, he followed Gabrielle and the others as they headed to the Hall of Judgment. He gazed at Raphael and thought how much they looked alike. Strange how he’d never noticed before. They were the same height, the same broad shoulders, golden hair and eyes. It all made sense now, why Gabrielle favored him. But why did she despise Lash so much?

  As she placed her hands on the door, her words caught his attention. “Although I admit one thing, and this is the last time you will ever hear it from me, I have never seen such courage as I’ve seen from you these past couple of days. Whatever happens next, know that you have most definitely earned it.”

  Jeremy watched as Lash blinked with surprise. He expected Lash to turn away. He didn’t. Lash gazed at him briefly. With fear flickering in his eyes, he turned and walked through the doorway. Jeremy stared after his friend in awe. Lash was afraid and still he went in.

  Gabrielle was right. Despite all Lash had been through, losing his home, thinking he’d lost the love of his life, he still did the right thing, even if he thought it meant he was being banished again.

  What was behind those doors was meant for Lash, not him. He wanted to make things right with his brother. But as long as Naomi’s kiss lingered on his lips and cheek, as long as his heart raced whenever she was in the room, he couldn’t fight against the jealousy that threatened to sever him from Lash. He had to do something.

  “Gabrielle, may I have a word with you in private?” he asked.

  “Yes, I’d like to speak with you, too. There’s an extended assignment I’d like to discuss with you.”

  10

  Walking along the beach, Jeremy gazed out into the horizon, watching the whitecaps of waves as they rumbled over the blue ocean. He placed one foot in front of the other, thinking about nothing, thinking about everything, feeling nothing, feeling everything. The foamy, warm water rushed over his feet, the heat of the sun shone on his bare back, and the gentle wind caressed his body.

  He didn’t know how many times he’d walked up and down the beach since he’d arrived. Dozens? Hundreds? Of the many beaches in Kauai, he didn’t even know which one he was on. Days blurred into nights, and he lost count the number of times he’d seen the sun peek out of the blue waters and then descend into an orange blaze as darkness fell over the island. Up and down the beach he walked, stopping only to eat when he felt hungry and drink when he was thirsty. And when he was tired, he lay down under a palm tree and slept.

  He wondered how long Gabrielle would let him stay on his so-called extended assignment. When they had stepped into the courtyard to talk in private, he hadn’t even had to make the request to leave. She had suggested he leave to get some space from all that was happening and allow time for Lash to cool off.

  Lash, it’s not your fault. Jeremy closed his eyes and tilted his head up until the warmth of the sun washed over his handsome face. He was thankful to Gabrielle for allowing him to leave, but was she always going to blame his brother when he was just as guilty? Lash’s anger was understandable—his was not. Lash had felt betrayed by Raphael and his so-called best friend. Lash had thought the love of his life was dead.

  And what was my excuse?

  I was jealous.

  For once in his life, he was jealous of Lash, and he selfishly wanted what was not his.

  “Um, hey. Are you from around here?” There was a giggle, followed by a light tap on his arm.

  Jeremy opened his eyes and looked down at a girl smiling up at him. Her red hair was tied up in a high ponytail. Freckles lined the bridge of her nose. She was voluptuous in her emerald swimsuit. She was the kind of girl he would have flirted with the moment he saw her. And she was obviously interested in him. Her brown eyes slid over his body, from his muscled biceps down to the cut lines of his abdomen. Her eyes widened as they trailed down his defined abs, taking in his noticeable “V” cut and following the little trail of hair into his swim trunks.

  “No, I’m visiting.”

  “We are too.” She pointed behind him. Two girls in bikinis lay on beach towels sunning a few feet away. They waved, giggling as they whispered to each other.

  “My friends and I were wondering if you’d like to have a drink with us.” Hopeful eyes blinked up at him as she twirled a loose strand of her hair around her finger.

  He wanted to feel something for the titian-haired beauty. He wanted to say yes. He’d never seen any harm in hanging out with women, despite Gabrielle’s warnings. He’d done so plenty of times over the years. It was a great stress reliever, and it kept him from being bored. He loved female company, both angel and human alike.

  “So what do you say?” She leaned in closer and suggestively brushed herself against his bicep.

  He drank in her killer curves and porcelain skin. She was lovely, so why couldn’t he feel anything? He didn’t even have the impulse to flirt with her.

  It was no use. He didn’t want to be with her or anyone else. He should’ve stayed in his angel form. It was a mistake walking around as human, but he was desperate to get rid of the constant numbness. At least as a human, he could feel the warm sun and taste the salty air. It helped a little bit.

  If he was being honest, he had noticed the stares he’d gotten since he’d arrived. He knew angels were seen as beautiful to many on Earth. They looked at him like he was a living god, and he liked it. It stroked his wounded ego. And even though the girl and her friends, who were gawking at him like a rock star, would stroke his ego even more, it wouldn’t be fair to them. He couldn’t give her, or any of them, what they were looking for.

  “Sorry. Busy.”

  “Really?” Ruby lips pouted. “Well, how about tomorrow?”

  “I . . .” He brushed a hand through his hair, wishing he didn’t have to hurt her feelings. “Not interested. Sorry.”

  He turned and walked away, moving fast to get some distance from the disappointed girls. Over the sound of the waves, he heard the girls’ high-pitched ranting as she told her friends that he was a snob. Her friends patted her back, reassuring her that she was pretty and he was too blind and stupid to see it.

  He hurried down the beach until they were out of earshot. He was surprised it actually hurt to hear the girls say those things about him.

  Blind? No. He saw them perfectly, as did many of the guys that lingered around them.

  Stupid? Probably. He went through a checklist of all the stupid things he’d done over the past few weeks.

  Kept a secret from his best friend. Check.

  Killed best friend and the love his life. Chec
k.

  Fell for his best friend’s woman. Check.

  Kissed best friend’s woman . . . while she was sleeping.

  Check and check!

  He dipped his head into the palms of his hands. Rubbing his eyes, he wondered how he’d gone from the most admired archangel to what he was now. He didn’t like the person he was becoming. He had to figure out a way to forget about Naomi. He had to let go of his jealousy. He had to—

  “Hey, watch it!”

  Dropping his hands, he gazed down. He was standing in the middle of what looked like a sandcastle. A little boy with piercing baby blue eyes glared up at him.

  Ruin a little boy’s sand castle. Check.

  “Dude, sorry about that.” Jeremy took a quick step back. His ankles hit against a wall of sand, sending it crumbling down.

  Great. Could he ruin the little boy’s creation more?

  The little boy’s eyes widened as he took in the crumbling walls and the pair of footprints in the center of his smashed sandcastle. The boy’s lips trembled, and his face scrunched up. Jeremy waited for the waterworks. He blinked with surprise when instead the boy muttered under his breath, “Be a big boy. Not a crybaby.”

  The boy sniffed and then flicked his eyes back to Jeremy. “You have big feet.”

  Jeremy chuckled at the serious expression on the boy’s face. “I guess I do.”

  He squatted down beside him, grabbing a small bucket next to the boy. “I have big hands, too. Let me help you fix it.”

  “You don’t know how.”

  “I think I can figure it out.”

  The little boy eyed him up and down. “I don’t know. You look like a tourist.”

  “And tourists can’t build sandcastles?”

  “Not really cool ones.”

  “I’m pretty sure I can still help—despite being a tourist.” He grinned.

  The boy pressed a finger on his chin and looked from Jeremy back to the ruined castle. “Well, okay. But let’s eat first.”

  “Eat?”

  “Yeah, eat. You know, with food. You’re funny.” The boy jumped up and took Jeremy’s hand. “Come on, I’ll take you to my taco shack. My name’s Sammy. What’s yours?”