The Shadow of Arms

by Hwang Sok-Yong

  “Yes, and he’s still there, sir.”

  That French mixed-blood tagged along with him from Saigon again, Quyen thought to himself as he picked up his hat.

  “If the general asks for me, call me at home.”

  “You mean in Son Tinh, sir?”

  “No, the place on Doc Lap.”

  Once outside the building, Quyen looked around. He saw the general’s garishly camouflaged convoy Jeep. The driver was rushing over toward him.

  “Where’s the Land Rover?” Quyen asked.

  “The general took it, sir. There’s a sedan.”

  “No, just give me the keys to the Jeep.”

  Quyen drove out in the Jeep General Liam used to commute back and forth to work. The star plate was covered.

  Minh’s return meant he had completed a certain level of training. He might have come home to say goodbye before heading for a battle zone. Probably he hoped to return to Hue, but there would be little chance of that, Quyen told himself. Quyen meant to interrogate his brother himself. He wanted to find out his ideological bent and have him enlisted. He’d be a lot safer if he could manage to have him posted to a navy hospital ship. Or he could find a girl and marry him off. At any rate, that boy would not be allowed to move an inch until he changed his way of thinking.

  After parking the Jeep in front of the house, Quyen stayed still in the driver’s seat until his breathing calmed down. Apart from Minh, he had also decided how to handle the rest of his family. No problem. He removed his .38 revolver from his belt, pushed the cylinder out and ejected five bullets, leaving only one. Then he placed the gun back in its holster.

  He walked into the hall through the front door with wisteria growing on either side. Inside the living room, his mother was sitting in a chair in front of the bamboo screen and Minh was on a round stool in the corner leading toward Lei’s room. Minh was talking to his mother about something but fell silent when he saw Quyen come in. Both peered up at Quyen, each with a different look on their faces. His mother’s lips were already distorted.

  “How could you do it? Abandoning your poor mother in a state like this . . . That Dai Han woman is no daughter-in-law of mine. As long as I live, I’ll never allow such shameful behavior. Bring the bitch over here right now. I’ll tell her what kind of family we Phams are, and I’ll run her off. You’ve seen it yourself, haven’t you? That couple who used to live right here in the neighborhood. . . .”

  “That’s enough, Mother.”

  “Now that Minh is back, I’ll say my piece to you in front of your brother. Remember that man, our old neighbor Cheng, who worked in the office of the old rubber factory? Was he ever treated decently by the other workers? You know why? Because he married a French whore, that’s why!”

  “Ah, that wasn’t why they looked down on him. It was because he played the dog for the French plantation owner. Mimi is not an evil woman. And I rushed over here not because of her, but because of this boy here. Mother, we’ll talk about Mimi later. Now, you, I need to talk to you.”

  Quyen pointed his finger at Minh, who stared back at him with a blank face. Quyen walked in toward Lei’s room. When his mother started to follow them, Quyen turned around and blocked her way.

  “Why can’t you talk in my presence?” his mother asked. “Don’t trouble the boy with your trashy problems while he’s on leave. I’m going in with you myself to listen to the lies sitting right beside you.”

  Pham Quyen raised both arms and his face looked as though he was about to cry.

  “Mother, please. My head is about to burst with worries about our family. How have I failed in taking care of us? Each month I bring home enough money for you to live, and I even took in sister Mi and her children. I asked you to be patient for a while longer. If you let me get a bit more comfortable, very soon I’ll be in a position to move our whole family somewhere away from this war. But I’m telling you, if you do this every time I come home, I’ll have myself transferred to another military district.”

  Pham Minh took his mother by the shoulders and turned her around slowly. “Go and lie down, please. There are things I need to discuss with Big Brother.”

  Mi’s head appeared over the kitchen partition. Quyen sent his sister a fierce look and she grabbed her mother and led her down the hall between the kitchen and the living room, saying, “No need for you to get upset, that’s no good. Why don’t you go and lie down.”

  As the two women disappeared through the door, Quyen turned and went inside Lei’s room. He sat down in the chair in front of the desk and Minh followed him in with an anxious look on his face.

  “Close the door and sit down.”

  Minh went over and sat astride the bed as he was told.

  “What did you tell Mother?”

  With his head lowered Minh answered Quyen’s question.

  “The first thing she asked me was if I’d come on leave, so I said I was on leave for two weeks.”

  “All right. Now you must give me honest answers. Where were you and what were you doing the past two months?”

  Pham Minh remained speechless with his head down. Then Quyen pulled out his revolver, took off the safety and set it down on the desk.

  “I’m not asking you as your brother. I’m questioning you as a major in the Vietnamese army. You may refuse to answer my questions. If, however, I determine you’re withholding necessary information, I’ll turn you right over to the military security forces. Those guys are professionals. In a single night they’ll make you spill out every detail of what you’ve been through. Since you’re a fighter with the NLF, you won’t be treated as a regular military prisoner. There are no regulations or treaties to protect you. You’re a spy. The only way I can help you is to do what I can to minimize the torture as you undergo interrogation, have you sent to the prisoners’ camp and then in six months I’ll try to pull you out as a defector. You were in the training camp for new recruits in the jungle, weren’t you?”

  Minh said nothing. Quyen picked up the revolver.

  “If you’re stubborn I can shoot you. I’d be better off if there were an accidental shooting instead of getting into trouble with the army because of you. If I shoot you and report it to the police as an accident, the whole case will be closed before noon tomorrow with a simple report. I think that would be best for the rest of the family.”

  Quyen rose and latched the door. Then he grabbed Lei’s pillow and placed it around the hand in which he held the revolver. He pointed the muzzle directly at his younger brother.

  “Where were you?”

  “In the Atwat Mountains.”

  Quyen had prepared himself in advance, but his heart sank with a thud all the same. In a quaking voice he pressed Minh. “What did you do there?”

  “I underwent training for one month.”

  “What about after that?”

  “I was on a mission in the Mekong Delta.”

  “Don’t lie to me!”

  Quyen pulled the trigger. With a dull sound, like someone pounding a desk, the bullet struck a few feet from Minh. Cement dust from underneath the wallpaper fell down onto the white bedspread.

  Calmly Minh looked his brother in the face and quietly said, “Put that gun away. I’m different than I used to be. I’m tired.”

  Then Minh sprawled on the bed. Waving the gun, Quyen growled, “Sit up!”

  Just then there was a knock and Mi’s wavering voice was heard.

  “Is everything all right?”

  “Yes. We’re talking,” Quyen said in a low voice.

  “Minh, what are you doing?”

  “I just caught a lizard,” Minh said in a loud voice. Mi could be heard shuffling away from the door. Quyen waited until his sister was well out of earshot and then resumed his interrogation in a soft voice.

  “Did you think I wouldn’t know that much? Since you’re from the ce
ntral region, you must have been sent to the Dong Hoi training camp. The Mekong Delta belongs to the Saigon region. And your training was shortened from six months to two, so you’ve just come down the Ho Chi Minh Trail from the highlands. I know the infiltration routes on the front inside out.”

  “It used to be like that. Until the American reinforcements arrived. Since the Tet Offensive the training period has been cut down to one month. The NLF is now seriously short of forces. After only one month of weapons training I was assigned to Saigon. Only two weeks ago I was on the outskirts of Saigon. Nearly all of my team was killed.”

  Quyen put the gun down. “Did you escape from the NLF?”

  “I wanted to survive.”

  Minh rolled over on the bed and faced the wall. He lacked the nerve to face his brother’s gaze. He felt his scheme was succeeding, and the fact that he had so deceived his brother made it loathsome to look into his eyes. But this was one of his first important missions.

  “From now on I’ll do as you say. I’ll turn myself in. I’ll tell them everything I know. About our temporary training camp and a few team members in Hue . . . and I can give them the route to Saigon.”

  “Cut the bullshit.”

  “I saw an entire company massacred in an ambush. I was in the rear guard and barely managed to crawl out of range. I hid in the swamp among the reeds until the sun was high the next day. With the help of some farmers, I got a change of clothes and hitched a ride on a freight truck up Route 1. I was in Saigon for three days staying at a hospital run by a doctor I met at the university in Hue. Then, I couldn’t go back into the jungle, so I made my way back up along the coast, and here I am.”

  Minh made up his mind. He got up and buried his face on his brother’s knees, screaming, “Help me, Brother! I don’t want to die! I never thought it would be so terrifying!”

  Unable to stifle a terrible urge rising in his throat, Quyen grabbed Minh by the neck and shook him.

  “Don’t worry. Nobody outside the family knows. You’ve just had an education. You learned about the immense gap between the ideal and reality in Vietnam. It was for the best, after all. You’re a grown man now, at last.”

  “Brother, I can’t go back to Hue. If I return to school, I’ll be in danger because of the team members there.”

  Quyen had his brother sit down on the bed and, in order to look him in the eyes, knelt down as he spoke. “Don’t go back to school. Enlist instead. It would solve everything.”

  Minh nodded. Quyen took out a cigarette and offered one to Minh, who put it into his mouth. His brother lit it.

  “If you do as I say, then there’s nothing I won’t do for you. First, get enlisted. I’m confident I can get you a disability discharge within a year. If not for that stinking record of yours, in a month I could have had you issued a certificate of service and honorable discharge. I was going to wait until after you were safely graduated. I have a plan of my own. The family Ran trust me. You were the family member I had in mind to send abroad first. Are you interested in studying overseas? Yes, you’ll become a doctor.”

  “I was thinking about joining the air force.”

  “Why? Isn’t the navy better? At sea is the safest place in Vietnam. You could be assigned to a detachment on one of those Red Cross hospital ships. As you fill up time serving as a medic on board a big white ship, the organization will gradually forget about you.”

  “It’s all right. Those who know me are staying on the far side of the jungle. All the members of my cell are dead, and I’m safe as long as I stay away from Hue. The reason I want to join the air force is that that way I can look after Mother. You’re no longer at home, and if I’m away too, Mother will be crying all the time. I talked it over with Lei. I should stay here and take care of the family. Then you can concentrate on your own work and will feel relieved, won’t you?”

  Quyen was touched but concealed his feelings behind a puff of smoke. Minh continued:

  “If you’re assigned to Da Nang air base, since it’s under the American command, they say you can get away with duty on paper only, right?”

  Quyen was well aware of the various options. One could make personnel records showing enlistment in the air force followed by an immediate dispatch to the air base, and then pay a certain sum each month to the officer in charge of the detachment to avoid having to show up for ordinary duty. All that was necessary was to appear in uniform once in a while whenever headquarters ordered a rare assembly of the entire detachment for inspection. Better yet, there was very little chance of roll call checks for the units assigned as augmentation to the American forces. There were too many variables and movements in those groups, what with deaths in action, recuperation leaves, special dispatches, redeployments, not to mention a fair number of AWOLs. The situation was so hectic it was hard even to match up the individuals assigned with their rated specialties. And it would be cheaper to have Minh’s name registered for a whole year. But most of all it would be a good way to win his mind.

  “All right. Join the air force. I’ll take the proper steps. And I’ll have a military ID made for you. You just stay put next to Mother and before you know it you’ll be discharged as a medic.”

  “Thank you.”

  Minh thought of bringing up the subject of getting a job, but he decided not to. Too many requests all at once would be likely to arouse suspicion in the meticulous Quyen. Minh changed the subject.

  “Brother, I was told about your marriage. I heard from Lei. It seems to have hurt Mother’s feelings, and Lei’s, too.”

  “What do you think?”

  “Think of what?”

  “Of she and I living together?”

  “Well, if she’s what Mother and Lei say she is, then I agree with them. You, my big brother, being married to a foreign bar hostess?”

  “Shut up, Mimi’s not that kind of woman. She was working as an office clerk in the PX. And I . . . I’m sorry to say, our relation is not like a typical Vietnamese marriage. We’re living together now, but we may part, you never know. She’s planning to go abroad, too, to Singapore or Bangkok, with our family. That’s why we got married on paper. That’s all.”

  “But . . . if she doesn’t love you and you’re only a means for her to get out of Vietnam, then . . .”

  Quyen did not feel like arguing about his private life with his brother. He glanced at his watch. Minh spoke again: “I wonder whether you’d let me . . .”

  “What?”

  “I’d like to meet her today. What do you say?”

  “I don’t especially like the idea.”

  “Don’t worry. I won’t babble. Who knows? I might get a good impression and help to change Mother’s mind about her.”

  “When it comes to Mother . . . I’ve given up. Later, when we all go abroad and if she lives happily among us, then she’ll understand it all. I have a goal.”

  “I know. You’re planning to make money with the help of General Liam, right?”

  Quyen whirled about to check Minh’s expression in order to make sure he wasn’t being sarcastic, but Minh wore a serious look. It was, after all, the expression of a man who had learned something about the world.

  “Right,” Quyen replied, “and you remember how you used to attack and insult me because of that? Now you seem to have had a taste of real life in this world. This war, I’m afraid, will not end in our generation. It’s gone on for over sixty years already. In the Diem period I saw countless cases of rich and influential families slipping out of the country one after another, after first sending children to study abroad. We’ll leave here, too. And to do that we need money. From the time I graduated from college and entered the officer candidate school I’ve had my heart set on getting a connection of this kind. It’s an opportunity a field officer couldn’t dream of. Now, up where I am with General Liam, we can fold and unfold everything in Quang Nam Province. It is a rare cha
nce. Our family needs dollars.”

  “How much?”

  “A million dollars, at least, I figure.”

  Minh was not in the least surprised at the amount. A thousand discharge certificates would do. He had heard a rumor of a police superintendent’s wife who had staked several soldiers as a bet in a poker game. Or, a hundred passports to Europe would bring in a million dollars.

  “How long will it take?”

  “Well . . . I’ll have to manage it before my boss gets promoted to a Cabinet position. Two more years, maybe.”

  “I’ll help too. After all, it’s for our family.”

  Minh’s voice was flat, and Quyen raised his hands and grasped Minh by the shoulders.

  “You, you rotten one. You worried me so much . . . if I’d known they’d make a man out of you like this I’d have sent you off to them a long time ago.”

  Feeling a bit awkward at what he had said, Quyen looked at his watch once again.

  “I have to get back. There’s an important document that has to be approved this afternoon. Anyway, it’s all turned out fine. Don’t worry too much, I’ll take care of everything. I’ll drop in again in the evening.”

  Quyen unlatched the door. He was about to leave but stopped and took out his wallet from the pocket of his jacket.

  “Here, have some spending money. And don’t stay out late.”

  Quyen handed five ten-dollar notes to Minh.

  “If you take these to Le Loi market you can get at least fifteen hundred piasters. Why don’t you get some little gifts for Lei and Mi?”

  Minh quietly accepted the military currency. Quyen then left without a word to the other members of the family. Out through the window over the hedge Minh could see him getting into the Jeep. He murmured to himself, “Brother, I’m sorry.”

  There was a sound of the engine turning and the Jeep took off.

  “Is he gone?” asked Mi with a look of concern on her face. “Did you argue?”

  “No.”

  “Is it really going to be all right?”

  “Big Brother will take care of it. You can forget about it now.”