THORN (A Brikken Motorcycle Club Saga Book 4)

by Debra Kayn

  Thorn walked into the house. She quietly shut the sliding door, locked it, and hurried across the room and unlocked the front door, opening it. He walked out without saying a word. She locked the apartment behind him and rushed to the couch, curling up with the blanket.

  The thrum of her racing heart filled her ears. Her body vibrated from the leftover arousal Thorn created inside of her. Where she should've been disgusted by him, she was confused. Any man his age putting the moves on her should repulse her.

  Perverted.

  Dirty.

  Sickening.

  She pressed her face into the pillow, groaning in despair. Even worse, how could she enjoy the kiss? What did that say about her?

  Chapter Ten

  Nikki pumped her legs on the swing, going higher and higher. Thorn leaned against the nearest tree, a hundred feet from the playground. True to her word, Jessy had taken her daughter to the park right after having breakfast at Bee's Diner.

  It was the first time he'd seen Nikki react to anyone but her mother. The child obviously loved the owners of the diner, validating Jessy's claim that they were important in her life.

  If one thing was apparent, Jessy needed good people in her life for support and from what he'd seen, the diner owners were the only ones there for her. He hoped the couple wouldn't be an obstacle for him.

  He'd scared Jessy last night. To bring her around to where she lost that fear, he needed time with her without input from others who could influence her opinion. She'd already had a hard time in her short life, but she had a good head on her shoulders.

  She'd learned what was normal despite being raised by a single mother who brought a daughter into the world with conditions. Conditions that Jessy failed to meet growing up and ultimately got kicked out of the house before she was ready to be out on her own.

  The impact of her wiping her mouth after their kiss, looking at him in disgust, still stained his day. He wasn't a fucking pervert. She was of legal age.

  Her view of him needed to change.

  He looked over at his Harley, then strolled across the grass to the playground. Stopping beside the bench where Jessy sat with her back toward him, he took in the way her spine straightened before he even reached her. She was aware of him. As much as he was conscious of her.

  Nikki's gaze landed on him while she swung. She was getting used to seeing him that the sight of him approaching her mom never interrupted her play time.

  "Does she have any friends?" he asked.

  Jessy's eyes never left her child. "Kids her age have a hard time connecting with her because she doesn't talk back."

  That wasn't right. If his nephews and nieces snubbed Nikki simply because she couldn't talk back, he'd swat their ass.

  "Next Saturday, it's Brikken Family Day. I want you and your daughter to come." He'd find friends for Nikki.

  Jessy craned her neck and looked at him. "That's not funny."

  "Wasn't trying to be. Your daughter needs friends, and she'll find them at the clubhouse."

  "Right." Jessy's gaze narrowed. "The same clubhouse where she was left in a car by herself for hours in the dark while Ed made friends. You're an asshole."

  "Yeah, probably," he muttered, ignoring her mood.

  Brikken was his home. From his earliest memories, the good outweighed the bad when he went to the clubhouse. Every birthday party his mom planned for him and his brothers took place on Brikken property. He'd made his first friend —Travis, the son of Kerlon, who was now deceased after being shot facing down a Sparrows member. He'd touched his first pussy upstairs at the clubhouse. Received his first paycheck sitting at the table in the meeting room. Most of all, he'd seen his family prosper and grow.

  "The thing is, Jessy." He braced his hands on the back of the bench and leaned down to talk quietly in her ear. "Nikki needs to face her fears."

  "She's five years old. She shouldn't have any fears, but thanks to Ed and your gang, she does."

  "I get that." He inhaled the sweet scent coming off her hair and ignored the sting of her accusations. "I'm not saying it won't hurt her at the beginning, but the only way she'll know that you won't let anything happen to her is if you show her how you'll stick right by her at the scariest place she can imagine. Even if she cries and panics while there, you can always take her home. She's going to know you stayed with her and kept her safe."

  Legs crossed, she swung her foot back and forth in irritation. "I don't like it."

  "I figured you wouldn't but think about it." He wanted to kiss the side of her face and ease the stress that his offer gave her.

  "I'd want to ask the therapist before I do anything new with Nikki." She glanced at him before looking forward. "Why would you want to help my daughter? Not that I'm agreeing to go. I don't think it's a good idea."

  "Because you're not the only one who feels responsible for what she's gone through and wants to see her have a normal childhood." He squeezed her shoulder and walked back to his Harley, taking his spot to watch over them both.

  His phone vibrated. He took the cell out of his pocket, found Sydney calling him, and answered, "Yeah?"

  "Have you seen Jett?" asked his sister in law.

  "Not since yesterday around six in the evening."

  Sydney groaned. "Okay. I thought I'd ask."

  "Do you need something?"

  "Not really. Jett said he'd take Arik and Chee over to Olin and Ashley's to play with Trik. He was supposed to be home a half hour ago, but I'll go ahead and get shoes on all the kids and drive over there myself."

  His phone dinged with an incoming call. "Hang on a sec."

  Swiping the button, he answered, "Yeah?"

  "Can you take Arik and Chee over to Olin's house? You can borrow our truck. I'm stuck at the club," said Jett.

  "No can do. I'm watching Jessy and her daughter." He put his boot on the peg of his bike. "Call your woman. She just called me looking for you and said she's planning on driving all the kids over herself."

  Jett cussed. "She doesn't need to be running around. I told her to take a break."

  "Tell her that yourself." He looked out at Nikki getting off the swing. "I'll let you go and tell Sydney you're calling her."

  He relayed the message to Jett's woman and disconnected the call, slipping his phone back in his vest. Jessy walked toward him holding Nikki's hand. He'd parked behind their car forcing her to deal with him. The more Nikki got used to seeing a man wearing a leather vest and riding a motorcycle, the easier it would be for her to learn that not all men were like her father.

  Nikki stared at him the closer they got to the vehicle. He lifted his hand and waved two fingers. The little girl leaned closer to her mother but continued to watch him. What Jessy didn't know was that Nikki was a brave little kid. Braver than most adults.

  Despite the neglect she'd been through in her short life, she still went through the actions of living a normal life. Even being curious.

  His niece, Cora, had gone through a bashful phase. For months, she wouldn't even look at him, even though he'd been a figure in her life since birth. He'd tried to tease her out of her shyness, but the only thing that'd worked was ignoring her.

  Jessy leaned inside the back of the car, putting Nikki in her booster seat. He tilted his head, taking in her hip to waist ratio and whistling soundlessly in appreciation. Though he hadn't had sex since the day before he'd found Nikki, he wanted more than slipping between Jessy's legs.

  Damn right, that'd been his initial reaction seeing her. He wanted to take the pain of living with a child's unanswered cry from his mind with the only remedy he knew. Sex.

  But, over the last couple of months, he'd come to admire Jessy for her strength. A strength he looked for in a woman and had never found before.

  Jessy devoted her life to her daughter and worked to make sure Nikki attended a school that would cater to her unique learning style. A devoted employee, she respected her bosses—who had become her family. But, it wasn't the level of responsibilities
she carried on her shoulders that had him rearranging his life trying to figure out a way to fit her into his future plans.

  Jessy reminded him a lot of his mom. Karla stood by Chief, had his three sons, devoted her life to being the best mom possible, and stood back when Chief gave his heart to Johanna. While his mom went on to other men and lived a full life that brought her happiness, she remained loyal to Brikken.

  He wanted that kind of devotion, and he wanted the woman who could make that possible.

  Jessy closed the back door of the car and turned to him. "We're going home."

  He dipped his chin that he'd heard her. It was almost lunchtime. Nikki would be hungry.

  "Are you going to pitch a fit if I give you money to pick up food at McDonald's?" He removed his wallet. "I could go for a couple double cheeseburgers, and I can't go over there without leaving you alone. You can get yourself and Nikki something to eat, too, and be doing us both a favor."

  Her lips tightened, and she looked away before facing him again. "I guess that's okay."

  He held out the money. She stepped closer, taking it from him.

  "I'll follow you and park in the lot. Go through the drive-thru, and then we'll go back to your place."

  "You're going to come to the apartment and eat?"

  He tilted his head. "If you'll let me."

  She stepped back, turned, and got inside the car without answering him. He started the Harley, and when she pulled away from the curb, he followed. She hadn't shot down the idea of sharing lunch with him.

  Twenty minutes later, he parked in front of the apartment. Jessy jumped out of the car and looked at him with her brows raised. She kept gazing at him as she extracted Nikki from the seatbelt as he stepped up to the sidewalk.

  Thinking she needed help because she had her purse looped over her shoulder, two bags of fast food in her left hand and held onto Nikki with the other hand, he took the food from her and followed them into the apartment.

  Once inside, she ordered Nikki to go wash her hands in the bathroom, then when her daughter was out of sight, she motioned him to the kitchen area. He'd barely stopped, and she grabbed the sacks of food out of his hand and set four double cheeseburgers on the counter.

  She tapped her finger against the wrapper. "Do you see that?"

  He looked at the food again. "What?"

  "No Happy Meal," she whispered. "She always nods when I ask if she wants nuggets and a toy. Always."

  "You could've bought her one." He leaned his hip against the oven.

  She flashed him a huge smile, showing dimples. Her front two teeth slightly overlapped, and he ran his tongue over his own teeth, finding her sexier than hell.

  "I named off some things from the menu, starting with the Happy Meal options." She dug into her pocket and removed a few dollars and some coins and holding his change out to him. "She kept shaking her head." She lifted up his wrist and placed the money in his palm. "Nikki's picky, and I wasn't going to waste your money on food she wouldn't eat, but when I ordered your double cheeseburgers, Nikki grunted while nodding her head. Grunted...like you grunt. I asked her if she wanted what you were having and she kept nodding."

  He stared at her, caught up in her excitement. She had a typical kid moment from what he understood from being around his young relatives.

  "Will you stay and eat with her...like you did before when she finished all her nuggets?" Jessy grabbed his vest. "Please?"

  "Yeah." He cleared his throat, getting control on the half chub he'd gotten over how beautiful Jessy was when she was excited. "No problem."

  "She has a doctor's appointment on Thursday. If she eats most of the burger, I know she'll gain a pound. It will be a huge step, Thorn. A step in the right direction." Jessy handed him his burgers and a large fry. "I'll get you a T.V. tray."

  She almost danced across the room. He watched her, unable to make his legs work.

  Nikki came out of the bathroom and held her hands up for her mom's inspection, then sat down on the middle of the couch. Jessy waved him over, pointing at the other spot on the couch. He forced himself to move. Then, sat down, and started eating.

  And, Nikki started eating, matching him bite for bite.

  Chapter Eleven

  Nikki led the way to the car. Jessy carried the bowl of potato salad in one arm and her keys in the other.

  "We're going to Thorn's clubhouse." She unlocked the door of her vehicle. "I'll be with you every second. I hope they like the potato salad. I copied Bee's recipe. It's really good, right?"

  Nikki balanced on one foot waiting for her to open the back door. Jessy couldn't stop talking. Her nerves were shredded.

  After talking to the therapist about Nikki visiting the place she'd spent weekends alone in Ed's car, she'd been given the advice that it could be good and it could be bad to return her to the clubhouse. The decision was left up to her, as the mother, to know what was best for Nikki.

  She leaned in and set the bowl on the passenger seat, then got back out of the car and put Nikki in her booster. She usually played it safe, but after asking Nikki if she wanted to spend the day with Thorn, and her daughter didn't break out crying, she decided to try going to the clubhouse for a half hour.

  That way, hopefully, they could leave before anything happened that would set Nikki back.

  She kissed Nikki and tickled her neck. "You are so cute. The prettiest girl in the whole wide world."

  Nikki's lips curved and she grabbed Jessy's hands, putting her palms on her face. Jessy laughed and wiggled her fingers against her cheeks. "You're also the most ticklish girl in all of Washington."

  In good spirits, Nikki's open mouth showed her silent laughter. Her chest squeezed, wishing she could hear the soft tinkle of her giggles. She used to always be quick to laugh.

  "All right, let's go have fun." She shut the door and slid into the driver's seat, putting on her seatbelt.

  Thorn promised to meet her at the gate and wouldn't leave her or Nikki's side while they were there. He'd also assured her twice during the week that the party was for families. There would be wives and mothers and kids there, along with the Brikken members. Nothing like the rowdy atmosphere she'd seen the night she'd picked up Nikki.

  Halfway there, she stopped at a red light. Looking in the rearview mirror at Nikki playing with the Barbie doll she kept in the car, she realized it was her heavy breathing that filled the car.

  She couldn't go.

  What if Nikki freaked? What if she damaged her fragile emotional state even more and her daughter never got her voice back?

  Panicked, she flipped her turn signal on and decided to go around the block and return home when the car behind her honked its horn. She jerked her head up finding the light green and stomped on the gas, shooting through the intersection, missing the turn.

  She groaned and shut off her turn signal. Not wanting to let Nikki know about her change of mind, she continued driving out of town.

  Fifteen minutes.

  That's how long they'd stay. A half hour was pushing the odds of something happening to upset Nikki.

  She'd let Thorn see her and Nikki, then make up some excuse to leave. They were all strangers to her. Even worse than strangers, they were bikers. Thorn was okay, of course, but the others would be like Ed.

  God, how had her life gotten out of her control?

  Never one to simply agree because a man was the one doing the asking, she held on to the fact that Thorn helped her with Nikki. For some reason unknown to her, her daughter wasn't shy around Thorn. While Nikki didn't hand out hugs, hold hands, and non-verbally talk with him the way she acted toward her, Bee, Charlie, and her teacher, Nikki seemed to want Thorn's approval when she ate.

  Driving to the gate of the Brikken property, she resigned herself to fulfilling her end of agreeing to come.

  Taking her cue from Nikki's therapist, Jessy said, "This is where the clubhouse is that your dad took you to but he's not here. Thorn told me that your dad isn't allowed to come here an
ymore because he was not a good parent to you. Instead, I'm going to stay with you while you get to see what it's like at one of their parties. It should be fun. We're not going to stay long, though. We'll say hi and see Thorn, then go back home together."

  She sounded like a drill sergeant talking to an adult, not a five-year-old.

  "It'll be fun," she added, as she spotted Thorn standing beside the open gate. "There's Thorn."

  He pointed toward a field filled with cars. She waved and drove across the bumpy ground and parked next to a Suburban. Shutting off the engine, she looked in the mirror at Nikki.

  Her daughter stared wide-eyed out the window. She hurried and unlatched her seatbelt, diving out of the door, and opened the back.

  "I'm here." She rubbed her hands over Nikki's cheeks, knowing the signs of her daughter having a meltdown. "See? Mommy's right here. I'm not going anywhere."

  Nikki tuned her out. Her eyes remained fixed beyond Jessy's shoulder. Emotions clogged her throat. She couldn't drive away with Nikki not present and doing well.

  "There's a sack at the picnic table with Nikki's name on it," said Thorn behind her.

  She glanced behind her and shook her head. "We can't stay."

  Thorn placed his hand on her back. "She needs to get out of the car. Let her walk and have some freedom."

  Her body shook as she undid the seatbelt and lifted Nikki. Holding on to her, she cradled Nikki's slim, stiff body to her the best she could.

  Looking at Thorn, she wanted him to understand that it wasn't as simple as letting her daughter run off and have fun. Nikki wasn't like most kids. She was stuck in a world where she had no voice. She couldn't tell someone to stop if they were hurting her or ask for help if she got scared. She'd been wrong expecting everything to be okay. No amount of preparing her daughter to come here would make Nikki feel secure.

  All the cars parked in the field must've spooked her, and the only way to help was to take her back home where she could be alone with her daughter until Nikki decided she was safe.