Always Faithful

by Catherine Snodgrass

  She wanted this done, but there would be no sense trying to talk to him tonight. He’d be unreasonable. Anything they did manage to discuss, he’d barely remember come morning.

  Hugging herself against disappointment, she turned to her mother and Jess Alderman. "I’m going to bed."

  Her mother shook her head. "You can’t avoid talking to him forever, Rowan. Why don’t you get it over with?"

  "I would if those two hadn’t taken him out to drink."

  Jess coughed into his fist. "You’re the one who wanted him gone by the time you got home."

  "I didn’t want a confrontation in front of Ian. But I also didn’t want him snockered. He won’t listen to a word I say. And if he does, I’ll doubt he’ll remember it in the morning. I’ll talk to him tomorrow."

  "When he’s hung over and defenseless," Jess muttered.

  Her mother chuckled softly.

  Rowan whirled around to face them. "I’m glad this amuses the two of you."

  "You have no one to blame but yourself," her mother replied.

  Not exactly. There was someone else to blame. Unfortunately, at that time Rowan was too young and too easily intimidated. The years since then took care of the rest.

  The front door swung open before she could escape upstairs. She saw Oscar leap to his feet, his tail wagging. It stopped in mid-swing when his master’s anger became apparent.

  Phillip jabbed a wobbly finger in her direction. "You!"

  "I refuse to speak with you when you’ve been drinking." Rowan strode past him as he staggered in the entryway. She grabbed the banister and scooted onto the first step.

  "Apparently you refuse to speak with me whenever it pleases you!" He stomped after her. "Like nine years ago!"

  "Keep your voice down," she snapped over her shoulder. "You’ll wake Ian." Without another glance she turned and started upstairs.

  The staircase shuddered behind her. "Damnit, Rowan, don’t walk away when I’m talking to you."

  She took the stairs two at a time, anxious to put as much distance between them as possible. It wasn’t enough. His legs were longer, his determination powered by alcohol. As her fingers closed over the doorknob, she felt his presence a few steps behind.

  "I said wait, Rowan!"

  Fingers of steel closed over her wrist. He spun her around. There was a growl from behind them, which rapidly built to a snarl. Before either of them could react, eighty-five pounds of fur and muscle leaped at Phillip, knocking him forward through the doorway and pinning him to the floor with Rowan beneath.

  "Oscar!"

  The reprimand only earned another growl. Over Phillip’s shoulder, Rowan watched wide-eyed as the dog bared his teeth. Two paws and the balance of his weight pressed down on Phillip’s back.

  Footsteps thundered up the stairs. Zach stopped inside the doorway. "Good God!"

  Phillip propped his elbows on either side of Rowan’s head to ease his weight from her. It was no use. Plus Oscar’s weight pressing down on the excess beer in his stomach made him nauseous.

  "Maybe he’s trying to protect her from you," Zach suggested.

  "That’s ridiculous," Phillip snapped. "He’s not her dog. He’s mine. He’s supposed to be on my side."

  But that’s exactly what Oscar was doing. With each growl, Phillip’s anger grew, which only escalated the dog’s anguish. It was obvious that Oscar was torn between his love for Phillip and his desire to protect Rowan.

  Zach crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "Looks and sounds like someone else wants you to keep your promise. You’d better find a way to calm down or you’ll both be there all night."

  Rowan watched Phillip’s lips draw out to a thin line. He glared down at her.

  "I can’t believe you turned my dog against me."

  "I didn’t," she snapped back. "If you weren’t behaving like a buffoon…"

  Oscar’s yellow-eyed gaze dropped to her. Her eyes widened. The dog meant business.

  Phillip lifted the corner of his mouth in a ghost of a smile. "Well, looks like I’m not the only one being told to behave. Question is, how do we get out of this predicament?"

  "He’s your dog. You do something." Rowan wiggled in a vain attempt to find a more comfortable position. Phillip’s weight was growing disturbingly heavy.

  Too late, she realized her mistake. One press of her belly to his groin brought another heat flaring to life. Her heart hammered in response. She was barely aware of her breath quickening, so intent was she on the deliciously familiar sensation rippling along her skin.

  It would be so easy to surrender. To slip her arms around his neck. To drape her legs around him.

  The anger in his face softened. Lust replaced it. His gaze caressed her face, settling on her lips. If he kissed her now…

  Still holding her captive with his hooded gaze, Phillip traced circles against the outsides of her breasts with his thumbs, stealing her breath and shooting darts of pleasure throughout her body. Rowan closed her eyes on a soft gasp. His breath was hot against her neck, his lips a half heartbeat from nipping that extra tender spot under her ear. Her heart raced with anticipation.

  Oscar shoved his nose between them and assaulted them with an intensive, indiscriminate series of dog kisses. Phillip sputtered and rolled away.

  "Oscar…" Another tongue-licking followed. Phillip wiped the back of his hand across his cheek.

  All was forgiven as far as the dog was concerned, but Rowan was too rattled to move. Flipping over and crawling to her knees, she edged to her bed and leaned against it for support.

  Zach snagged the dog’s collar. "Come on, you overgrown mongrel. I think they’ve learned their lesson."

  Phillip shoved himself to his feet, swaying slightly. "I’ll be by in the morning for Ian. We’ll be spending the weekend together…probably at Disneyland. Do you have any problem with that?"

  His voice dared her to challenge him.

  Rowan shook her head. "He’ll be ready to go."

  Her voice came out as a croak. She was surprised it came out at all. From the corner of her eye she watched Phillip leave, carefully shutting the door behind him.

  Pulling herself onto the bed, Rowan drew her knees to her chest. She ached everywhere their bodies had touched and especially where they had not. This was never going to work. The wanting was bad enough when they were on congenial terms, now the undercurrent of old wounds was forcing them together in a state of heightened emotions.

  Rowan didn’t think she was strong enough to resist. Didn’t know if she wanted to resist. Visions of muscled thighs and a rock-hard stomach passed through her mind. What was a career compared with the passion they once had?

  Had. That was the operative word. It was in the past. Washed away by the years in between. Any reaction he had to her nearness tonight was nothing more than second-nature. He was after all just a man. A very passionate man.

  And she was just a woman. A woman who had made more than her share of mistakes and been forced to live with them. A woman now—no longer a girl bullied by a narrow-minded, selfish old man. She banged the bed frame with her fist, yet her frustration remained.

  Damn the beer. She would rush right down those stairs and tell Phillip everything. He was calmer now. Surely he’d listen. Rowan felt a smile tugging at her lips. Oscar and Zach would see that he listened.

  She hurried to the window. His car was already gone. Perhaps it was just as well. Give him time to cool down and sober up. Give them both the time to take a giant step back from what they had almost let happen just now. She’d catch him in the morning before he left with Ian.

  There was a scratch at her door. Rowan opened it and Oscar slinked into her room, whining. With the most apologetic look he could muster, he draped himself along the floor beside her bed.

  Rowan stretched out next to him and rubbed his chest. "I know how you feel, boy."

  After a few minutes, she slipped into her nightshirt, crawled into bed and turned out the light. Another long, sleepless night
was going to keep her up—she just knew it.

  She glanced down beside the bed. Two plaintive eyes reflected silver in the moonlight. Patting the edge of the mattress, she smiled and said, "Oh come on up. You’ve earned it."

  The bed sagged with Oscar’s weight as he snuggled next to her. Nice, she thought, and closed her eyes.

  * * *

  "Do you mind telling me exactly what we’re doing?" Zach asked.

  Phillip watched the light in Rowan’s bedroom go out. He’d be damned if he knew what he was doing. All he had wanted was for Zach to stop the car off the dirt road in a turn-around a few hundred yards from the house and let him think for a minute or two. The cool desert air helped clear his head and focus his thoughts. Thankfully, Zach stayed quiet…until now.

  "I was wondering if leaving Jess and Mike there for surveillance will be enough protection for Rowan, Ian, and Emma." A lie, but maybe it would be enough to keep Zach off his back.

  "They’ll be fine."

  Phillip’s head spun with images of Rowan beneath him, rubbing against him. He’d been hard with wanting the instant it happened. Thinking about it only made the ache worse. No doubt about it. If not for Oscar, the two of them would be making love right now and damn the consequences.

  "Snap out of it, Phillip," Zach said. "You’re treading on dangerous ground and you know it."

  So much for Zach staying off his back. He knew it all right, but he didn’t want to admit it to himself, much less Zach.

  "You were ready to make love to her. If that stupid dog of yours hadn’t butted in, you would have."

  Phillip scratched at the stubble along his cheek. His alcoholic haze was quickly fading, leaving the start of a throbbing headache. "Oscar’s not stupid."

  "After what I saw tonight, I may have to agree with you. In fact, I’d say he’s a lot smarter than either of you. I’ve never seen you look at a woman like that. You wanted her. You still want her…and you still love her, no matter what she’s done now or in the past. You admitted that in the bar tonight."

  "Wrong. I despise her." Another lie. Angry, yes. Angrier than he’d ever been before. But despise? Never.

  "Just as extreme an emotion as love. You hate what she did, but you’re so crazy in love with her you can’t even think straight. My God, Phillip, we’re talking professional suicide here. She’s an enlisted Marine. She’s your client."

  Phillip watched a gray Ford pickup cruise past them. Zach was on a roll. There was no stopping the lecture. "She’s Ian’s mother. I can’t avoid her. We have a child to raise."

  "Then raise him—separately. Stay as far away from Rowan McKinley as you can or you can both kiss your military careers good-bye. And you might as well ask yourself another question."

  He was worse than a parent. Phillip sighed. "What’s that?"

  "How in the hell can you objectively defend this woman?"

  Phillip had already been asking himself that question. The way he felt right now, thinking about Ian and the time they had been denied, a part of him wanted Rowan to hang…to spend each and every day of the rest of her life in prison. At the same time, he wanted to hold her slender body in his arms and make love to her on that king-sized bed until they both collapsed from exhaustion. Rage, lust, hurt, exhilaration. A heady combination.

  Zach snorted. "The command is going to have a field day over this. You know it won’t take long for our colonel to find out about Ian. He probably already has. You should have seen the look on Laura’s face when she saw that kid. She’s going to demand you be released from the trial. And you should be."

  The pickup slipped by once more. The headlights momentarily blinded them. Phillip welcomed the distraction.

  "I’ll take care of Laura," he finally said.

  "And who’s going to take care of you?" The question came with the force of a knife thrust.

  A hot glare from Phillip wasn’t enough to make Zach back down. Nothing could when he was lecturing.

  "Do you want me to defend her?"

  Phillip sucked in a breath, hoping it would clear the growing ache in his head. It only made him dizzy. "I’m a professional, Zach. I’ll defend her."

  "Objectively? To the utmost of your ability? No matter what she may have done?"

  "No matter what." Phillip stared at the house, all dark now. "Zach, you don’t think she would really have me killed, do you?"

  "Malcolm’s big theory sounds far-fetched to me," he replied. "Even if she was guilty, why bother to have you killed? You never would have known anything about the boy if she hadn’t asked you here. If she had gone to prison, her mother would have raised Ian and you would have been none the wiser."

  "Then why would Collins suggest it?"

  Zach shrugged. "He’s probably angry because you brought his botched investigative efforts to light and he wants to get even. From what Mike told me, Collins didn’t do one thing right with that crime scene."

  "I don’t know, Zach. I don’t trust the guy. Maybe I should have Jess or Mike check him out."

  "Phillip, we don’t know these people. Who’s to say you can really trust them?"

  "Right now I have to trust them with Rowan’s and Ian’s lives. Are you saying I shouldn’t?"

  They stared at each other for what seemed an eternity before Zach slipped the car into gear and drove back to Rowan’s house.

  * * *

  Rowan woke to find Ian snuggled against her. With all the room the king-sized bed offered, she was allocated a two-foot wide space for herself. Reaching over to scoot him aside, she was greeted with a sleepy-eyed grin.

  "Well, good morning." She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a big hug. "How long have you been here?"

  Ian stretched. "I don’t know. Dad and Oscar took up all of my bed, so I came up here."

  Phillip came back?

  "I’m starving."

  He was always starving. "Pancakes and bacon?"

  "Umm… Now I’m extra starving."

  Rowan laughed and swung her legs over the side. "Then I’d better get busy."

  She stopped long enough in the bathroom to clean up and get dressed. By the time she trotted downstairs Ian was curled in the chair watching cartoons.

  The smell of coffee lured her onward. Rowan expected to see her mother in the kitchen with breakfast underway. Instead, she found Phillip’s friend Zach and Captain Connors sharing sections of the newspaper, cups of coffee steaming in their hands.

  "Is my mother still asleep?"

  Neither bothered to look up, but Phillip’s friend answered. "She and Jess went to her house last night when we came back. She felt everyone would be more comfortable with a little more room. Jess didn’t want her alone over there…just in case."

  Rowan nodded and extended her hand. "You probably already know this, but I’m Rowan McKinley."

  He looked up with a warm smile and slipped his hand into hers. "Zach Taylor. I have the dubious honor of being Phillip’s best friend." He grinned, flashing a set of dimples.

  "Then I would say that you have your hands full."

  "Phillip would tell you it goes both ways."

  Rowan laughed softly. A flash of silver outside the kitchen window caught her eye. "I see Oscar’s up."

  Captain Connors craned his neck for a look. "Been chasing birds and squirrels and having a great time."

  "No matter how inept he is at it," Zach added.

  "Well, we’ll see if the smell of breakfast cooking will tempt him back inside before I no longer have a flower garden. How about it, Captains?

  Connors looked her way. "Only if we can leave the formalities back at the office. Agreed?"

  Rowan smiled and nodded. It made sense, especially if they were going to continue to be in close quarters. Then she paused.

  "Zach, why did you come back with Phillip? I thought you were both going to return to the Officers’ Quarters."

  He smiled, a devastating combination of dark eyes and square jaw. "Simple, really. We couldn’t find our way to the main ro
ad in the dark."

  Rowan and Mike laughed.

  The first whiff of frying bacon brought all the laggards to the kitchen—Oscar, Ian…and Phillip. Rowan tensed when he walked in. He wore a T-shirt and running shorts that were as rumpled from sleep as his hair. Without a glance or a word to her, he brushed by and helped himself to a mug of coffee.

  "Can I have some coffee, too?" Ian hoisted himself onto the countertop.

  "Get down." The gentle reprimand was simultaneous from both parents. He hopped to the floor without question. "Can I?"

  "Just a little," Phillip replied.

  Rowan almost protested until she saw him fill a cup one quarter of the way with coffee then topped it off with lots of milk and two teaspoons of sugar. He lifted an eyebrow, asking her approval. Rowan gave a single nod.

  Phillip handed the cup over to Ian. "There you go, bud. A cup of coffee fit for a man."

  "Thanks, Dad."

  "Once breakfast is over, how would you like to go with me to Disneyland?"

  "Oh boy! Mom, too?"

  Sensing Phillip’s hesitancy, Rowan turned with a smile she didn’t exactly feel. "I think your dad wanted it to be a guy thing. Just the two of you. Besides, someone has to stay home with Oscar. And I have to clean house and do yard work. Why don’t you get your suitcase and put in enough clothes for two days? I’ll check it after breakfast."

  He ran off to his room, coffee forgotten.

  Phillip leaned against the counter. "Thank you for that."

  Rowan turned back to her bowl of batter. "Not a problem… Phillip, before you go I think you and I need to talk."

  "There’s nothing to talk about. There’s nothing you can say that will make a difference. Everything is in the past. You did what you did and that’s that." His voice was low and harsh.

  She spun around. "That’s not fair."

  "I could spend hours telling you about what’s not fair, but, again, it wouldn’t make a hell of a lot of difference at this point. The fact is I have a son and I intend to be the best damn father I can…now that I know about him. You can save any explanation you’ve got for him when he gets older and asks where his father really was for the first eight years of his life. Not that stupid story you let him believe."